How to Stop Identifying with Your Past and Finally Feel Whole
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 days ago
- 9 min read
Brianna Anderson is well known for her ability to translate and articulate complex information into simple, understandable concepts that resonate with diverse audiences. She is the founder of Universal Love Academy, an online learning platform, the host of Breathe Belief Podcast, and Author in development.
Most people spend their lives chasing success, love, or clarity, believing that once they attain enough of these things, they will finally become someone of value. This pursuit becomes their identity, their direction, and often, their distraction. But what if the truth were far simpler and more liberating than we have been taught? What if the real path was not about becoming someone new, but about remembering that you were never broken in the first place? In a world obsessed with achievement and image, this article offers a radical return to your original wholeness.
Stop believing you shouldn’t have gone through it
Many people believe they were never meant to experience pain. They carry shame, resentment, and confusion around the events of their life story, wondering what they did wrong. Beneath this belief is the illusion that life is only supposed to feel good, that happiness and success are the only valid indicators of a life well-lived, and anything less must mean they have failed. But life is not a punishment to endure or a ladder to climb. It is a full-spectrum experience meant to be felt. Every emotion, every twist in the journey, every unraveling moment is part of the divine curriculum of self-discovery. You were not meant to bypass grief, confusion, heartbreak, or loss. You were meant to feel it all, so you could remember that your power does not come from avoiding the hard, but from alchemizing it into depth. Begin by releasing the belief that something went wrong.
Whatever you have lived through was not a detour; it was preparation. Make peace with the fact that the pain did not define you, but it did shape you. Speak to yourself with compassion. Say to yourself, “This was hard, but it was never who I am.” And when difficult emotions arise, do not run from them. Breathe into your body and remember, you are the container for the emotion, not the identity of it.
Stop waiting for the world to make you feel whole
So many people live in a quiet state of waiting. Waiting for the right relationship, the perfect job, more money, or external recognition to finally feel whole. They believe that once something shifts in their outer world, they will finally be allowed to feel confident, successful, or enough. This waiting becomes a lifestyle, but it is not true patience. It is passivity. It keeps them locked in the illusion that identity is earned from outcomes rather than embodied from within. No matter how much you achieve, no accomplishment can give you what you have not first chosen to feel. Your identity is not granted by the world. It is remembered and lived through presence. Wholeness is not a reward for doing enough. It is a frequency you get to live in now. Begin making embodiment a daily ritual, not as a performance but as a practice. Choose to move as your highest self. Meditate. Dance.Ground into your body. Speak life into your day before the world tells you who to be. Ask yourself, “If I already had everything I ever wanted, how would I move today?” Then begin to move like that. Not to fake it, but to wake it.
Stop letting your past decide who you get to be
It is easy to believe that your past defines your potential. When you look back at everything you have lived through, the mistakes, the heartbreaks, the failures, it can feel like evidence of limitation. You start making decisions from fear instead of vision, from survival instead of soul. This is the silent trap: letting your history become the ceiling on your identity. But your past is not who you are. It is what trained you. It taught you resilience, refined your compassion, sharpened your awareness, but it does not get to decide what you are capable of now. Identity lives in the present. Power lives in the now.
To reclaim your wholeness, you must release the version of you that was shaped by pain and begin living from the version of you that is shaped by truth. This starts with radical forgiveness. Forgive the past not because it was right, but because it no longer gets to lead your life. Let go of regret. Let your story become sacred, not shameful. Study the law of cause and effect, and recognize that every thought, belief, and action you take now is shaping your future. You are not bound by who you were. You are free to become who you decide to be.
My story: I became the one
At twenty-five years old, everything I thought I was collapsed. I walked away from my second marriage, the religion I was raised in, and the corporate job I once believed would give me stability and direction. On paper, it looked like I was unraveling. In reality, I was waking up. For the first time, I realized that love was not something to earn, direction was not something to search for, and identity was not something to be handed to me by the world. It was all within. I stopped waiting to be chosen and started choosing myself. I stopped outsourcing my clarity and started listening to my authority. I stopped chasing success and started embodying wholeness.
That was the beginning of everything. When I became the love, the leader, and the source, life began responding to me in ways it never had before. Not because I had finally done enough, but because I had finally remembered who I already was.
Success without self is still poverty
Your identity was never meant to be built from pain, status, or survival. But that is exactly what most people are taught to do. Build a name on the back of pain. Chase a title to prove you are worthy. Accumulate achievements to outrun the fear of being forgotten.
It may look like success from the outside, but on the inside, it still feels empty. Because success without self is still poverty. You can have the house, the applause, the partner, the bank account, and still feel like something is missing. That “something” is you.The real you. The one who was never broken. The one who does not need to prove anything to be powerful. The one who is already whole.
True fulfillment does not come from adding more to your plate. It comes from subtracting every belief that made you feel like you were not enough. You are not what happened to you. You are not what you lost. You are not what you achieved. You are what you choose to remember. And when you remember that you were never meant to earn your worth,only embody it, the game changes.
You are whole. You are full. You are home. Not because the world permitted you, but because you decided to live like it was already true. That is the root of real wealth. That is the blueprint of freedom. And that is the version of you the world is waiting to meet.
From borrowed strength to embodied truth
The next-level identity you are seeking, one rooted in wholeness, not hustle, can be remembered through powerful resources found across the globe. One of my favorites is MindBodyGreen, a rich library of insight on healing, self-awareness, and embodied living. At the beginning of my journey, I was quick to doubt that my reality could change. I felt lost, overwhelmed, and unsure of what truth even sounded like. But the one thing I stayed consistent with was plugging in my earbuds and listening to voices that carried light. I borrowed their strength until I found my own. I filled my space with frequencies that reminded me I was not broken, just buried. And over time, that daily decision created a new emotional baseline, one that opened the door for deeper, more accurate systems of remembering, like Human Design and Gene Keys.
We choose unlearning because it is us we are yearning
There comes a point on the journey where seeking more no longer satisfies the soul. You do not need another personality test or surface-level affirmation. What you are truly craving is a deeper remembrance, a return to the original blueprint of who you are beneath the noise. This is where Human Design and the Gene Keys enter, not as tools to fix you, but as sacred systems to help you unlearn everything you were never meant to carry. These frameworks are not about telling you who to become. They are about showing you what has always been true. They hold up a mirror to your natural design, your inner authority, your emotional rhythm, and the exact ways your energy was built to thrive. When I first discovered them, I felt like someone had finally handed me the language of my soul. Not because it was new, but because it had always been mine.
The unlearning was not a loss; it cleared the dirt to show the gloss.
Here’s a potent, clearing question that cuts straight through the noise and invites deep reflection:
What part of your identity are you still carrying because it kept you safe, not because it feels like your truth?
When you are in a state of yearning, it is your soul asking for the unlearning of the survival mechanisms that no longer fit.
How to remember who you are when everything is changing
When you are moving through death and rebirth, or feeling the pull toward a reality that reflects more of your truth, the most important thing you can do is remember that identity is not built through achievement or the external world. It is anchored through devotion.
There will be seasons when clarity feels distant, when the version of you that once felt familiar begins to dissolve, and the future version has not yet arrived. In those moments, return to the practices that steady you. Move your body in ways that reconnect you to power. Sit in silence long enough to hear your own knowing. Speak the identity you are becoming out loud. Write as the version of you who already feels free. Walk with the presence of someone who belongs in the life they are calling in. Make decisions from that frequency.
Do not rush to fill the space between who you were and who you are becoming. Let that space be sacred. Let the unraveling be honored. This is not the breaking, it is the becoming. This is the moment where you remember: you are allowed to live into everything your soul already knows is possible.
The one who fully lives becomes the identity the fearful secretly crave
To truly come alive, you must first be honest about the ways you have been living as if you were already gone. The routines you settled into, the dreams you postponed, the emotions you muted, these are not signs of failure. They are symptoms of forgetting.
Most people are not consciously choosing life. They are surviving. Drifting. Performing a version of themselves that feels acceptable, digestible, and controlled. But aliveness does not wait for permission. It begins with the decision to stop sleepwalking through your days. To notice where you have been avoiding your own presence. To recognize that the grief you feel is not about what you lost, it is about who you never let yourself become.
Aliveness is not something you stumble into. It is a conscious choice to stop pretending you are powerless. You have not failed. You simply have not yet decided to fully live. And the moment you do, your life will begin responding to the frequency of your return.
Identity is knocking, and I’m here to walk you home
You have read this far because something in you is already rising. Not the self shaped by fear or survival, but the one who remembers. The one who knows she was never meant to shrink. The one who knows he was never meant to wait. The one who is done pretending they do not hear the knock.
This is your next step. Not more noise. Not another label. But a sacred recalibration into the truth of who you already are. Your Human Design and Gene Keys are not here to impress you. They are here to awaken you. To hand you back the blueprint of your wholeness.
If you are ready to stop chasing and start choosing, I invite you into my 3-step framework for identity integration through the lens of Human Design and Gene Keys. It is notself-help. It is self-remembrance. And it will activate the leader, the lover, the creator, and the clarity that has lived within you all along. The portal is open.
“You are not broken, you have had moments where the light broke in.” Let it.
This is not a program. It is a mirror.
And the reflection will change everything.
Brianna Marie Anderson, Revolutionary Translator – Coach, Speaker, Author
Brianna Anderson is a trailblazer in Authenticity using Human Design and Gene Keys to revolutionize how people understand themselves and others. After a childhood marked by cycles of beginnings, middles, and ends, she sought lasting love from marriages that followed the same patterns. Through her own transformation, Brianna discovered the key to resolving the deep hunger for unconditional love-starting from within. As the CEO of Universal Love Academy, she empowers individuals to create a life full of adventure and fulfillment, free from expectations or shame about their unique journey. Her mission is to help people embrace every stage of their life with grace and purpose, knowing that true love begins with self-acceptance.
