How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome As A Woman In Tech
- Sep 26, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: May 8, 2024
Written by: Limor Bergman Gross, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Imposter syndrome is a pervasive challenge, particularly among women in the tech industry. As an executive coach with over two decades of experience in tech, I have encountered this issue countless times, especially among the women I coach. In this article, I'll share my journey and strategies that helped me overcome imposter syndrome in daunting leadership roles.
My Journey
Let's journey back to August 2007. I was a mother of two—a three-year-old daughter and a three-month-old son—when I took on a new role as an engineering manager. What should have been a moment of celebration quickly turned into anxiety when I learned I would manage a team of 25 engineers, a significant leap from my previous responsibilities. I was plagued by self-doubt, convinced I had no idea what I was doing and was merely pretending to be a manager. Imposter syndrome had a firm grip on me.
1. Seek a mentor
My first tip for overcoming imposter syndrome is to find a mentor. When I started my managerial role, I realized I needed guidance, but my manager was very busy and couldn't devote much time to mentoring me. We met sporadically, and our discussions often revolved around catching up on tasks rather than providing guidance. I knew I needed more, so I sought a mentor who could offer tailored advice, validate my thoughts, and provide valuable insights. Fortunately, I was able to connect with a former manager who was still working for the same company. I wasn't sure what to call him, but I knew he could give me the guidance I needed. I asked him if we could meet occasionally for his advice and perspective since I often felt lost and unsure of myself. Although it wasn't formal, and we didn't meet regularly, he agreed to help me whenever he was available. Each meeting with him was beneficial, as he offered valuable perspective, boosted my confidence, and served as a sounding board for my ideas. He helped me validate that I was on the right track and gave me direction when needed, which helped me build my confidence and achieve my goals.
2. Get a sponsor
When I was eight months pregnant, I applied for a managerial role, but some people were skeptical about my decision. Luckily, I had a sponsor who supported me and spoke on my behalf, which played a pivotal role in securing the position despite the uncertainties. Having a sponsor can make a significant difference in advancing your career. A sponsor supports you, advocates for you, and opens doors for you. In my case, having a sponsor was vital in securing my current position. I nominated myself for the role while pregnant, and I didn't think I could get it. The hiring manager didn't know me, and I was about to go on maternity leave. Fortunately, my sponsor knew me well and advocated for me. Thanks to their support, I got the job. Therefore, having a sponsor who can help open doors and advocate for you to succeed in your career is critical.
3. Surround yourself with supporters
Surround yourself with a network of supportive individuals who can offer encouragement and reassurance during self-doubt. These people can provide a fresh perspective, help you validate your decisions, and serve as inspiration. In 2010, my husband got a relocation offer to Denver, Colorado. I had to start from scratch, find a new job as a manager, and reinvent myself. I felt stressed and unconfident since I had to leave my previous employer of ten years and start fresh in a new country without any acquaintances. My friends, former colleagues, and some family members suggested that I lower my expectations and start as an engineer instead of aiming for a managerial position. Despite their good intentions, their suggestions did not align with what I wanted for myself and made me feel even more doubtful. To overcome this challenge, I started to seek help from people in the industry, recruiters, and anyone who could offer support. Although not everyone responded, many people did, and their support helped me eventually land a job as a manager in the US, thanks to a recruiter I had met for coffee. Therefore, my third tip for anyone facing similar challenges is to surround yourself with people who uplift you. Sometimes, we have people around us who may doubt us, and they may not be the people we need to hear from. We need people who can boost our confidence and help us achieve our goals. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals can bolster your confidence. Seek out people who inspire you, lift your spirits, and provide guidance. These individuals can help you navigate your career with more confidence.
4. Embrace feedback
In February 2016, I started working remotely, which was a new experience. Previously, I had always worked in an office environment and felt uncertain about my ability to manage a remote team effectively. I was still determining how to connect with people without meeting them face-to-face. However, I soon discovered that remote work was possible, highly effective, and preferable for me. I sought feedback from those I worked with to ensure I did my job well. Both positive and constructive feedback were essential to my growth and success. Whenever I received feedback from my manager, I asked for more specific details about what I was doing well and what I needed to improve. The feedback helped build my confidence because it reassured me that I was doing something right. Constructive feedback also helped me adopt a growth mindset and think about improving and excelling. I always recommend asking for feedback from managers, peers, and subordinates. It makes things simpler and more transparent, and you can act on it to improve your performance. Without feedback, you are left in the dark, making assumptions about what others may or may not think of you.
5. Step out of your comfort zone
When I started working remotely, I suddenly had extra time because I couldn't commute for two hours daily. At that time, I was overweight and unhappy with my appearance. So, I decided to improve my overall well-being, physical health, and energy levels. I started exercising, and I chose to start running. Initially, I thought a woman over 40 couldn't run, especially since I had a sedentary lifestyle. To my surprise, I could run, which helped me gain confidence. Running made me feel good, capable, and confident. Find an activity you enjoy: running, walking, dancing, or anything you like doing, but stretching yourself physically and succeeding will help you gain more confidence.
Personal growth often comes when you step out of your comfort zone. Becoming uncomfortable both professionally and taking on physical challenges can help you build self-assurance and resilience.
6: Stop comparing yourself to others
In December 2019, I significantly changed my life by moving back to Israel after living in the US for nine years. It was a moment when I felt extremely uncomfortable because I decided to change my career. I left the corporate world and started my own business, focusing on executive coaching. No one around me was doing the same thing, and people thought I was crazy for leaving everything behind and starting something completely new.
However, I knew deep down that it was the right thing to do. I realized I needed to stop comparing myself to others and focus on becoming the best version of myself. Instead of trying to fit in with everyone else, I worked on myself by listening to my inner voice and striving to learn and grow daily. I learned that comparing myself to others and trying to fulfill their ambitions was unhealthy. I am here to achieve my aspirations and grow, not meet other people's expectations. By shifting my focus to my own goals and aspirations, I was able to excel and become better every day.
Comparing yourself to others can be detrimental. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself and trust your inner voice. Your unique path may only sometimes align with what others expect, but following your journey is essential.
7. Celebrate wins and learn from failures
Finally, celebrate every small achievement and view failures as opportunities for growth. Acknowledging your progress and learning from setbacks can boost your confidence.
Regardless of how small it may seem, each step forward contributes to your growth. Don't shy away from failures; embrace them as valuable learning experiences. Failure can be a stepping stone to success, offering insights and opportunities for improvement.
Conclusion
Overcoming imposter syndrome is an ongoing journey. As someone who has faced this challenge in various roles throughout my career, I can attest to the effectiveness of these strategies. By seeking mentors, securing sponsors, surrounding yourself with supporters, embracing feedback, stepping out of your comfort zone, and celebrating small wins, you can build the confidence needed to excel in the tech industry.
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Limor Bergman Gross, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Limor is an Executive Coach for ambitious women in tech that want to get to the next level in their careers and achieve more through a result-oriented coaching process. Women she works with, say Limor enabled them to continuously tear down "ceilings" by challenging them to think bigger. They also say she opened their eyes to a new way of contributing to their careers. Limor loves talking about career progression in the tech industry and how to build your brand in the company and externally. Limor is married with four children; she loves running and working out at the gym while listening to electronic music.
