How to Drop the Mask of the Good Girl and Be Fully You
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 22
- 3 min read
Empowerment Coach and founder of Own Your Life, Julie Vander Meulen pioneers in researching and applying personal development strategies to help ambitious women overcome the good girl syndrome and become the powerful individuals they were always meant to be.
For years, many women wear the “Good Girl” mask, pleasing, accommodating, and polished, while quietly losing touch with themselves. Shedding that mask allows you to reconnect with your true self, reclaim your voice, and live authentically. It’s about moving from performance to presence and discovering the freedom of being fully you.
When hiding starts to hurt
For years, I was the woman who always got it right. The thoughtful message, the elegant yes, the effortless smile. I wore my Good Girl mask so well, most people didn’t even realize it was a mask. I was praised for being graceful, accommodating, kind. But under the surface, I was gasping. Every yes that meant no, every smile that hid resentment, every moment of self-betrayal layered into a quiet grief: I was disappearing from my own life.
And the scariest part? I didn’t know who I was without the mask.
The good girl mask isn’t you, it’s a survival strategy
Good Girl Syndrome teaches women to be palatable instead of powerful. We learn to hide anything that might make others uncomfortable: our anger, our ambition, our boundaries, our brilliance. We become masters of emotional camouflage, sensing what others want and shape-shifting to match it.
At first, it works. You’re liked. You’re promoted. You’re called “such a pleasure to work with.” But over time, the mask becomes heavy. Because you’re not just performing for others—you’re slowly losing touch with yourself.
You don’t need to become someone new. You need to come home to who you were before the world told you she was too much.
What happens when you take the mask off
Removing the mask isn’t about becoming loud or reckless. It’s about becoming real. It’s the shift from seeming to being. From perfect to present. From controlled to connected.
You might tremble the first time you say “no” without justifying it. You might feel raw the first time you share your truth without editing it. But every time you let yourself be seen, you reclaim power. You stop living in reaction to the world and start creating a life that reflects you: your values, your voice, your rhythm.
This is what freedom feels like: not needing to be anyone but yourself.
Becoming the woman beneath the performance
This is a journey of reintroduction. You get to meet the parts of you that were buried under politeness and performance. The part of you that says what she means. The part that takes up space without guilt. The part that moves through the world, not trying to prove her worth, but trusting it.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes you’ll want to retreat. You’ll miss the validation the mask used to bring. But that’s when you remind yourself: being fully you is not just a gift to yourself. It’s a revolution. A ripple effect. An invitation for others to do the same.
Because when one woman dares to drop the mask, she makes it safer for every woman around her to breathe deeper, too.
Julie Vander Meulen, Empowerment Coach for Ambitious Women
Julie Vander Meulen is an Empowerment Coach for ambitious women and the visionary founder of Own Your Life Academy, a premier coaching platform dedicated to personal and professional development. Through her innovative research and holistic coaching strategies, Julie specializes in guiding women to break free from the 'good girl syndrome,' empowering them to claim their worth and step into their power. Her work is rooted in the belief that every woman has an inner powerhouse waiting to be unleashed. With a vibrant community and a track record of transformative coaching experiences, Julie's mission is to inspire women worldwide to embrace their true selves and create lives they love.
Want more?
Sunday Sanctuary Newsletter: A warm, real, empowering letter to women unmasking their truth and reclaiming their fullness, sent weekly to your inbox. Join here!
Take the Good Girl Syndrome Quiz: Discover how the mask of the Good Girl shows up in your life, and what it would feel like to take it off. Take the quiz.
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