Guilty About Your Success? Six Steps To Happier
- Aug 4, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Tamara Mendelson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Doing well in an upside world?
The anxiety and fear you are feeling are natural — even healthy — during the COVID-19 pandemic. For the first time in recorded history, we are all in this together. It is a worldwide challenge. This cross-border, cross-culture, cross-political virus is everywhere, and it can make us feel helpless, especially isolated. We thought it would be over by now. And we hate the unknown, especially situations we can’t control. The inequality of vaccine distribution coupled with fellow citizens refusing the vaccine is maddening.
But, what if you personally have done really well the last six months? How do you deal with the guilt of success? Have dinner using the good china: this is the rainy day you’ve been saving it for.
One Person Can Make A Difference. Help Heal The Planet.
If 2021 has been really good to you financially, donate a little something or a bigger chunk to a cause you have wanted to help.
Tikkun olam means to repair the world. So many people are in need right now. People are being evicted. Some lives have been crushed by natural disasters that might all be caused by global warming. And so many people are suffering from the pandemic more than a year and a half later, maybe not sick, but mourning their loved ones, worrying about the variants or carriers. There is a lot of repair work to be done. Small gestures can mean a lot. Start by being kinder in public spaces and while driving. Become more aware of your impact. Get involved.
1. Make Yourself Presentable
Shower daily. I know the urge is strong to stay under the covers or to mope around home and attend Zoom meetings in sweatpants. When you dress professionally, even if you work from home, you’ll feel more like yourself and more successful. Sure, it’s okay to ignore your suit, dress, or sport coat, but you’ll feel better in a clean pair of jeans and a business-casual top or button-up shirt. Comb your hair and brush your teeth regularly. It’s important to maintain daily hygiene habits with added attention to your hands. (20 seconds is “Baby Shark to the Daddy Shark” or “Happy Birthday” twice.)
2. Set Regular Work Hours
Because fewer offices are open, be clear that being in your home office is the same as “going to work.” The whole family will benefit from these boundaries. In an uncertain world, the certainty of a schedule helps you control your life, even in the summer.
The flip side of regular work hours, of course, is actually sticking to them during non-work hours. Answering texts and posts and emails at all hours causes stress and sets a bad precedent. For all communication. If you can avoid it, don’t send work emails after actual business hours. I know it’s tempting as our phones pretty much live in our hands. Resist.
If your kids are out of school (or doing Zoom school), help them organize learning projects, especially offline, like puzzles and books. Go outside, if possible. There is scientific research that suggests that even looking at something green on the screen is good for our mental health.
Of course, deadlines are different, but in general, let people know when you are available and when you are not. There is a nifty setting on smartphones called “DND -- Do Not Disturb.” It gives you space while allowing calls from designated numbers, so you won’t miss a call from your kids or others in your inner circle, keeping out the telemarketers and establishing boundaries.
3. Dedicate A Workspace
Even if it’s the kitchen table, a little organization goes a long way. When we are all feeling a lack of control, control what we can. Make to-do lists and check things off one at a time. It gives a sense of accomplishment and keeps you on track at a time when you are easily distracted.
Try to keep your workspace clean where everything you need is close at hand. If you actually need to eat dinner at the dinner table, then clear your things to a basket or box to be set back up when you need your workspace back.
4. Keep In Contact
Reach out to friends and family, not just by text or WhatsApp, or even Facebook. Actually, talk to people. Hear their voices. Set up video calls. And if you are all videoed out, then just hearing someone’s voice occasionally will alleviate the feeling of isolation, make you calmer. Regularly checking with your inner circle makes everyone feel better.
5. Limit Your Exposure To The News
Listen to your favorite stations a few times a day. Constant negative news cycles can be paralyzing and depressing, even for the most upbeat among us. You don’t have to be committed to the 24/7 news cycle. Give yourself a break by listening to music, podcasts, or binge-watching for an hour here and there.
Since we are in unprecedented times, it is time to take unprecedented steps towards proper self-care. Be aware of your mental state. Try to stay calm, especially if you are in good health. Check-in with yourself often. If someone asks how you are, be honest. We are all doing the best we can.
6. Step Up Your Sustainability
Recycle. Buy local, especially from small businesses that are struggling. Find a local coffee shop or a local farm that can deliver fresh produce. Recycle more; buy less. Stop using plastic. Help your local hair salon and pay it forward for a year of services.
If you are struggling emotionally, I’m here to help.
I meet my clients where they are, virtually. We begin the conversation in the now, so we can get to where you want to be. I offer private Zoom conversations with email, text, and WhatsApp support outside session hours. Let’s set up a Zoom call. Or a telephone call (remember those?) to see if working together might be the right thing for you to do. So you can move forward to a better you.
Tamara Mendelson Emotional Wellness Coach, Mentor, and Human Being
Tamara Mendelson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tamara Mendelson is an Internationally recognized writer, a sought-after wellness coach, and an educator with many years of experience teaching Business English – online and in the classroom. Tamara teaches and coaches using humor, compassion, and empathy, which is her students' and clients' favorite superpower. When asked about why she started coaching, Tamara laughs, “I have been coaching all my life, being a good friend, an involved parent, and an empathetic teacher. I just didn’t call it coaching until 10 years ago.” Tamara received a Master’s Degree from Bar Ilan University in creative writing and English literature and has a certificate in Positive Psychology from UPENN. Tamara writes a weekly blog called “This Way Forward” and runs a Facebook Page with the same name where she does exactly that – helps people move forward.
