Five Practical Tips to Help You Find the Right Therapist
- Brainz Magazine
- 1 hour ago
- 9 min read
Sandtrice D. Russell is a seasoned mental health professional with nearly 20 years of experience in the helping industry. She is the founder of Unique Destiny Counseling, a virtual counseling practice, the author of the Minding my Own Mental Health Journal, published in 2024, and the host of the Self-Aware & F**ked Up Podcast™.
If you're reading this article, hopefully, it means that you're ready to begin the process of finding a therapist to help you on your journey. Deciding to go to therapy isn't an easy decision, but it is an extremely powerful first step towards beginning your healing and growth journey. There is no “right” reason to start therapy, and quite frankly, you don't need any particular reason at all to go to therapy. Many people seek help when they are experiencing things like anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, and relationship issues. So often, the first time someone sees a therapist is when they're experiencing a crisis, but maintenance therapy is equally as important as seeking therapy during those high-stakes moments in life.
In this article, we will explore how to navigate finding the right therapist to address your unique concerns.
What to know before starting therapy
One thing I encourage everybody to be mindful of before starting a therapeutic journey is that therapy is not a quick fix to your problems. Therapy takes a lot of time and effort to meet the goals that you work with your therapist to set. Progress in therapy is gradual, and it often takes multiple sessions to truly start experiencing the relief that you're looking for. It's also important to understand that therapy does not look the same for everyone. There are several types of therapeutic modalities, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), often referred to as talk therapy, as well as specialized techniques like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), EMDR, and Solution-Focused therapy.
Therapy is a space for you to learn and grow, and when you begin therapy, it's important to ask your therapist what treatment method they use and what to expect from working with them. Therapy is 100% your space, and you should feel free to ask any potential therapist questions about their therapeutic approach, their years of experience, and what to expect in the therapeutic setting.
The first session is what we call an intake session. Many therapists offer an initial phone consultation to get a feel for your style as a client and how that matches with their style as a clinician. I often refer to that initial session or that initial consultation as the first date with your therapist. Now, don't get me wrong, I do not mean dating in the sense of romantic relationships, but you should approach finding a therapist in the same way that you would approach finding a partner. You want to find someone with whom you feel you can relate and someone who has the experience to work with your unique set of challenges.
How to search for a therapist
Before you start therapy, it's important to look at different counseling directories like Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Girls, and Inclusive Therapists. You can search for therapists on these platforms by criteria such as their location, their specialty, their gender or their sexual orientation identity, as well as their therapeutic style. It's also okay to check your therapist's credentials. There are many types of therapists, each with a unique skill set based on their discipline. Let's explore the different types of therapists in further detail.
A licensed professional counselor is a clinician who specializes in providing counseling services such as talk therapy, emotional regulation, and CBT. LPCs commonly treat clients for anxiety, trauma, depression, stress, and relationship issues. LPCs may have multiple specialties and flexible approaches depending on what area they specialize in. They are a great fit for general emotional support, life transitions, and trauma recovery.
A licensed clinical social worker typically has a background in systems, which can include family systems, community, and overall societal impact. Social workers are trained in case management, and they have a strong emphasis on advocacy and social justice. LCSWs are also adept at integrating therapy with other social supports. They often specialize in providing therapy for trauma, grief, abuse, systemic oppression, and life transitions. Social workers are great for providing community-focused care. Many social workers also have a specialization in providing counseling.
A licensed marriage and family therapist is the ideal clinician to seek in instances where you're looking for someone to work with you on relationship problems, family issues, and communication challenges. LMFTs' main focus is on relational dynamics, and they are highly trained in couples therapy, co-parenting, and conflict resolution. LMFTs often use family systems therapy, emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and narrative therapy to help clients work through conflict. LMFTs are a great fit for couples, parenting challenges, and divorce.
Psychologists hold a doctoral degree, and they may be either research-focused or clinical-focused, depending on their program of study. While many psychologists provide counseling services, they are also licensed to perform psychological testing and make formal diagnoses. Psychologists have advanced training in multiple therapeutic modalities. They often have the skillset to diagnose complex mental health conditions, but many of them also provide individual counseling services.
Regardless of the clinician's credentials, you have to find the person who utilizes the modality that you feel would work best with addressing your concerns. It's important to trust your gut and remember that the therapeutic relationship matters just as much as a therapist’s years of experience. Don't be afraid to shop around until you find someone that you connect with.
Finding the right fit
Over the years, I've gone through several therapists, and it wasn't until I found myself in couples therapy with a licensed marriage and family therapist that I finally felt like I could truly be myself with a therapist and not have to be performative because of my profession as a therapist. My therapist made me feel safe. I struggled with this with previous therapists who did not have experience working with LGBTQIA+ identified people. Another great thing about my therapist is that she worked with me in couples therapy before becoming my individual therapist a year later. As a result of this, she has the unique experience of having met my wife when we were first dating and has some context about our history.
I've been with my therapist for nearly six years at this point, and I truly wouldn't trade her for the world. Before deciding to work with my therapist again, I had a therapist who couldn't even remember from week to week that I was a lesbian and often misgendered my partner and failed to understand some of the family dynamics within my family of origin. This was a big shock to me because this therapist had over 20 years of experience working with clients, but her cultural competency as it related to working with LGBTQIA+ people was lacking. Luckily, I found my perfect fit in 2019, and my therapeutic alliance has helped me grow in tremendous ways. Finding the right therapist is 50% of the challenge, and the other 50% is you doing the work.
We have to remember that therapy is a two-way street. A good therapist works with you, not on you. The therapist is not there to give advice or fix you; rather, they are there to guide you into identifying areas that need improvement. A good therapist will respect your identity and your lived experience, and it is totally fine to ask a therapist if they have experience working with someone like you, regardless of your minority status or lack thereof.
I often chuckle when my LGBTQIA+ clients come to me, and they're a bit shy about discussing their sexual orientation or gender identity due to always being judged by society. I always try to my best to make them feel comfortable by sharing my queer identity to let them know that they are at home and that they are safe to be their authentic selves with me. You need to connect with a therapist who truly sees you and is open to being curious about your life.
What to expect in the first session
In the first session, you can expect to explore your history and current circumstances that bring you to therapy. Hopefully, before you come to therapy, you will have already filled out some consent forms for treatment and the rules around confidentiality. This is what we call an intake assessment form, where you give us a little bit of history about what is causing you to come to therapy.
During that initial session, the therapist will explain to you the limitations of confidentiality, which include our mandatory disclosure of things such as suicidality, homicidality, and child abuse or elder abuse. While these things can be jarring if you've never been to therapy before, we have to disclose this to you to ensure that you understand that we are required to report some things. It's also important to understand that just because you express thoughts of suicide or thoughts of homicide does not automatically mean that your therapist is going to call 911 on you or that they are going to have you committed to a mental health hospital.
It is normal to have suicidal thoughts and sometimes homicidal thoughts, and if you are experiencing that, I encourage you to not only get help from a therapist but to be transparent about these thoughts. Certain aspects and criteria have to be met for a therapist to have a client committed to a hospital, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable, but be prepared to work with your therapist to create a solid safety plan.
Another key factor to be mindful of when going to your first session is setting goals before starting the therapeutic process. You want to be able to explore what areas you'd like to work on. You don't have to have all of this figured out during the first session, but it is something that your therapist will want to explore because therapists are required to complete a treatment plan within your first couple of sessions, especially if you're using medical insurance. When a therapist is exploring the goals that you want to set for yourself, we are also thinking about what tools we need to share with you to help you meet your identified goals. Some goals may be very simple for things like depression and anxiety; however, when coping with things like complex trauma or more severe mental health concerns, the goals may be a little bit more nuanced.
The main thing to remember here is that your goal during that first session is to explore if this therapist is a good fit. Do you feel the therapist is attentive in listening to your concerns, or are they just checking boxes on an assessment form? Do they truly hold space for you? Do you feel heard and seen? It's fine for you to take notes on how you feel about the session and determine whether or not you're open to a second visit.
I tell a lot of my clients, especially my clients who have never been to therapy before, that our first session is to figure out if we are a good fit. It's important to note that you may also, as a client, not be the best fit for a therapist. Therapists have what we call implicit bias, which means that certain types of clients are not a good fit for us based on our personal values and lived experiences. Not every client is for every therapist, and not every therapist is for every client. At the end of each initial intake session, I always ask my clients how they feel about our session, and inquire regarding if this something that they feel like they want to set up a follow up appointment for or if they need time to think about whether or not we're the right fit for each other.
Remember that you're not locked in or committed to a therapist after one visit. If it doesn't feel like it is the right fit, always feel free to explore other options without guilt. You're not going to hurt the therapist's feelings if you don't want to continue working with them. The therapy session is about you, and if the therapist does gets in their feelings because you did not want to work with them, that is something that they need to work out with their therapist.
Next steps
Hopefully, this article has helped you identify if you're ready to take that next step. Below is a list of items of things to consider prior to starting your therapeutic journey.
Reflect on your Needs- Write down what's weighing on you and identify what areas you want to change, understand, or heal.
Start Your Therapist Search- Use trusted directories to begin browsing potential therapists that fit the criteria you're looking for. Also, be sure to assess if that therapist takes your insurance.
Write Down Your Must-Haves- Identify what matters most to you, considering things like cultural competency, gender identity, spiritual alignment, and other areas of concern. Make a checklist to help you filter your options.
Try the Until I Find a Therapist Journal- Use this guided tool to clarify your thoughts, track your mental health, and prepare for your first session. This is your pre-therapy self-care plan.
Take the First Brave Step- Send an e-mail, schedule a consultation, or leave a message. It might feel scary, but you have to start somewhere.
If you're ready to take the next step in finding a therapist, I strongly recommend purchasing my journal, Until I Find a Therapist. This journal was created with you in mind. It provides a space for you to identify your therapy goals, explore what you're looking for in a therapist, and set your intentions for what you want your therapeutic journey to look like. Good luck on finding the right therapist for you!
Read more from Sandtrice D. Russell
Sandtrice D. Russell, Unique Destiny Counseling
Sandtrice D. Russell is a fierce mental health advocate whose life's mission is empowering others through education. Her childhood upbringing led her into the helping profession and she is committed to helping remove the stigma associated with pursuing mental health services. Sandtrice is a Licensed Professional Therapist in Georgia and Texas. She is also the founder of Unique Destiny Counseling, the author of the Minding my Own Mental Health Journal, published in 2024, and the host of the Self-Aware & F**ked Up Podcast™.
