Fit-ness as Frequency and Love as a Way of Being
- 14 hours ago
- 5 min read
Written by Caren Carnegie, Founder of Transform Fitness Coaching | Intuitive Momentum Coach | Speaker & Writer
Caren Carnegie is a coach, psychic channeler, and the creator of Transform, a space where fitness, healing, and intuition meet. She helps people return to themselves by honouring the body and awakening the coach within.
Love is often spoken about as something we feel, something that arrives, fades, or changes form depending on what life brings. But in its truest expression, love is not fleeting, and it is not something reserved for someone else, it is something we live from. It is the frequency we return to, again and again, through awareness, presence, and the choices we make in the moments that shape us.
In my own life, as my relationship with my body deepened, so did my understanding of love itself, not as something directed outward, but as something lived from within. That awareness continues to shape how I move, how I listen, and how I guide others.
Recently, a message came through during meditation that felt deeply aligned with this truth: “You are attached to no-thing and connected to everything.”
When we begin to live from that understanding, love is no longer something we try to hold onto. It becomes something we live from, even in the seasons that seem to test us the most.
Grief is one of those seasons. It is often accompanied not only by loss, but by expectations: how long it should last, how it should look, and when we are supposed to “move forward.” Yet healing often begins not when grief disappears, but when we allow ourselves to move with what we feel rather than against it.
Wanting to expand this conversation beyond my own experience, I invited a lived reflection from my friend Tara Porter, whose journey through grief has become a powerful expression of love as a way of being.
Moving with love through grief
After the loss of both her daughter and, shortly after, her mother, Tara Porter found that the most profound shifts in her healing did not come from trying to return to who she once was, but from learning how to stay present with who she had become.
Looking back, she shares that the biggest shift in her grief came when she stopped questioning why she was still feeling the way she was and instead gave herself permission to let what was present simply be there. She allowed her heart, mind, and body to acknowledge that the pain deserved space because it was born from deep love that could no longer move or express itself in the same way.
When she stopped numbing herself and allowed grief to surface, leaning fully into how deeply it hurt, rather than pretending for the comfort of others, something shifted. What she had been resisting wasn’t weakness; it was love asking to be witnessed.
Moving with her experience instead of against it changed everything. She stopped asking how to return to who she was, recognizing that version of herself no longer existed. What grief stripped away wasn’t who she was meant to be, it revealed her. The question became: how do I stay present with who I am now? That practice, she says, is something she returns to again and again, some days with ease, other days with effort, but always with greater honesty.
Through this awareness, Tara came to understand that grief and joy are not opposites. Her heart could ache deeply while still experiencing love, joy, and meaning. Grief and love come from the same place. As she describes it, “Grief rides shotgun. Joy gets the wheel.”
A powerful part of her healing was learning to offer herself the same grace she so freely gave to others. Carrying shame about not being the mother she believed she should have been while navigating overwhelming grief, she eventually met that earlier version of herself with compassion instead of judgment. As self-forgiveness grew, resistance softened, and life began to flow more smoothly.
Rather than fighting grief when it surfaced, Tara learned to recognize where it lived in her body and allow it to move through her, tears included. As she did, something unexpected happened: more joy emerged, more love, and the resentment and anger she carried from losing her mother and daughter just a year apart gradually gave way to gentleness.
Healing, she learned, isn’t linear, it spirals. Each cycle of anniversaries brings her to a deeper layer, asking for more tenderness than the last. Living from love now doesn’t mean grief is gone; it means grief is allowed to walk beside her, hand in hand with joy.
From this understanding, “On Fridays We Dance” was born not as a performance of happiness, but as a commitment to remain in relationship with life. Each Friday, Tara shares a short social media reel of herself dancing sometimes alone, sometimes in community, always to a song that carries personal meaning, a simple, living reminder that movement can be a way of choosing presence, love, and connection again and again. In those moments of movement, Tara feels deeply connected to her mom and to Harper, sensing their love and encouragement beside her as she continues choosing to live fully and openly.
Through grief, she learned that love wasn’t something she lost. It became something she lives from now, not only something she feels, but something she is.
Love as a way of being
Love, in this way, is not the absence of sorrow. It is the presence of awareness. It is the willingness to meet ourselves again and again with compassion, honesty, and movement toward life.
When we begin to understand fit-ness as frequency, movement is no longer about performance or outcome. It becomes participation, a way of saying yes to life, even when life feels heavy. Each time we choose awareness, each time we meet ourselves with compassion rather than judgment, we strengthen our relationship with the version of ourselves that is unfolding now.
There are so many people longing for love, for something outside of them to sweep them off their feet. Yet the quiet truth is that love often begins much closer than we think. What if our own reflection, our body, our soul has been asking us for that date, that moment of presence, an invitation to sit, to listen, to meet ourselves with the same tenderness we so freely offer others?
Perhaps the invitation has never been to search farther, but to come home. To sit with ourselves. To move with what we feel. To live from the love that has been within us all along.
If Tara’s reflection resonated with you, I invite you to follow her journey as she continues to share “On Fridays We Dance,” choosing week after week to move with life, to move with love, and to remind others that it is safe to do the same. Find Tara here.
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Read more from Caren Carnegie
Caren Carnegie, Founder of Transform Fitness Coaching | Intuitive Momentum Coach | Speaker & Writer
Caren Carnegie is an Intuitive Momentum Coach, Certified Personal Trainer, and Speaker. She is the founder of Transform Fitness Coaching and creator of Transform HQ in Sebringville, Ontario, a holistic training space redefining strength for the New Human. Caren is an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine and an emerging voice in embodied leadership and soul-aligned well-being.
