Financial Intimacy – How To Mix Love And Money
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 27, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 5, 2024
Written by: Tracey Sofra, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Financial intimacy is where two people in a relationship are honest about their beliefs about money. That’s where both partners are in tune to create a healthy financial relationship with trust and honesty at its very core. Of course, all types of intimacy in a relationship are important but financial intimacy can either make or break your relationship and is, therefore, an essential component of any relationship.
Issues from Lack of Financial Intimacy
Secrets about debt or money problems
Financial imbalance leads to resentment (when one partner earns more or has bigger financial obligations)
Communication breakdowns
Lack of trust and financial infidelity (If one partner has been caught lying about money)
Improve Financial Intimacy in every stage of the relationship
1. When dating
If you are just getting to know each other, it's a great time to ask questions: How does your partner value money? Do you share similar beliefs and financial aspirations? You may not want to ask as many questions as your accountant would. But you can find out if they’re keen to buy a home and save for the future.
2. Moving in together
When things are more serious, you might decide to move in together. Sit down and discuss your money management plans. Ideally, this conversion should happen before you've officially moved in together.
How will you split the bills?
Will you have a joint account?
Will you split the rent 50/50 or each pay a proportion based on your salaries?
There are no right or wrong answers here. The point is to have an honest discussion to ensure you’re on the road to financial compatibility and that you're comfortable with the plan.
3. Getting married
Newly engaged? Congratulations! This is a great chance to have a chat about your finances with your partner! Before you get carried away with looking at dresses and venues, have an open discussion about how much you plan to spend on your special day. You also want to discuss and establish your joint short- and long-term financial goals if you haven't already.
4. Buying a home together
This is a big step in a relationship. Financial intimacy here means discussing how you'll afford a deposit on your first home. Will you each save 50%? Perhaps this isn't possible. In which case, will you choose a different split based on your earnings? Consider if you purchase the property in joint names or tenants in common. Don't forget to discuss how you’ll split the mortgage costs and repairs.
5. In a long-term relationship
Set some time aside often to talk about goals, budgeting, paying off debt, investing, and other money goals. I call these Money Dates and simply put money dates are allocated time you spend budgeting, managing, and planning your finances. They allow you to check in with your money regularly and ensure you are showing it the love and attention it deserves. You don't need to have the entire conversation in one sitting instead, be intentional about bringing it up so you can both get on the same page financially.
Financial Intimacy takes teamwork
Don't feel like you need to go at achieving financial intimacy alone! Professionals are available to speak to you depending on your relationship stage and your specific concerns. For example, you might speak to a financial advisor, accountant, mortgage advisor, tax advisor, or relationship/marriage counselor.
It’s never too late!
Whatever relationship stage you’re at, financial intimacy is worth achieving. And this is a goal within reach. Begin by opening up to your partner about any concerns you have. Even if financial intimacy has been lacking, it’s never too late to get back on track. Begin with an open and honest discussion about how you both view money and create joint financial goals together. Don't forget to seek professional advice if you need it to help you stay on track.
I'm Tracey Sofra and I believe women should take control of their money and create the financial independence they deserve to live a life of choice. If you are ready to take the next step in your journey to living a life of choice, take the Financial Confidence Quiz and find out how you score to move forward in your financial life.
Tracey Sofra is Australia’s leading Financial Advisor specialising in Women’s Financial Confidence. As a Business Leader, Mentor, Financial Advisor, Author, Speaker, and Mum, for over three decades Tracey has shared her proven method for shifting mindsets and the limits to financial success for thousands of women. Her passion for financial freedom is infectious leaving you inspired to challenge the status quo, build confidence and create change. To enquire about her working with you or your organisation please contact us at info@wowwomen.com.au
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Tracey Sofra, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tracey Sofra, is Australia’s leading Financial Advisor specialising in Women’s Financial Confidence. As a Business Leader, Mentor, Financial Advisor, Author, Speaker and Mum, for over three decades Tracey has shared her proven method for shifting mindsets and the limits to financial success for thousands of women. Her passion around financial freedom is infectious leaving you inspired to challenge the status quo, build confidence and create change. Tracey is dedicated to Investing in Women's Empowerment across the globe as part of a greater social impact across the UN Sustainability Goals.
