Written by: Jeremy Stegall, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Our experience of life is finite, and in my opinion, the time we have is too short, only to complain every day and too long to complain and not claim ownership for creating our experience now. We are all human, and our lives result from our choices. I assert we want the best for ourselves and our families, and, one day, we will all die. What don't you want anyone to ask about what you want out of your life experience? Does anything come to mind?
What do you desire that maybe scares you a little? Rather than running away from the ego's need for self-protection and desire for comfort and survival, why not begin making choices from a place of possibility and commitment rather than fear as we create our new normal?
Notice what fills that space after asking the question. Is there doubt about what's realistic? Does a lack of opportunity scream your hindrance? Have you been burned before and built walls of self-protection around yourself? This year, I challenge you to reconsider the context in which you view the world, your work, and from what place you're choosing. Imagine the end of this year having empowered your choice and leaning into what you want of it and the breakthroughs you'd encounter. What transformation creates your new experience?
Integrating Support and Feedback
The voices that want to support me can sometimes sound like the outside chatter that would trigger survival mechanisms and lure me into self-doubt, doubting what I want. They can also be intentionally trying to trigger me in the process to help.
In the year of making an empowered choice in 2022, consider the structure of how you're holding yourself accountable if you don't do what you said you would. How is this acknowledged when we aren't acting around our commitments? It's taken years to recognize that I don't need to make that process mean something about me or my value.
My opportunity is around receiving and integrating feedback. It doesn't mean that I have to take it personally or make it mean something. I'm looking at it as a gift that I can accept, acknowledge, and integrate or do nothing with. Starting with what happened and my interpretation of it that's getting me.
If support gives me feedback and a challenge to stretch what I'm willing and able to be with moving forward to expand my capacity to perform. I can acknowledge that this is something that I don't see from a different place of experience. I can hear them out.
Some people put feedback in a box, some people cut you off, some of us build walls around ourselves to protect the castle. But what I keep from myself is the greatest gift in life — to create, expand and realize. Perhaps this is the entrance ramp to an opportunity.
Our Choice in Action As I begin looking a level deeper with life coaching, I’ve appreciated the support in conversation because it helps me identify a few things that contribute to my experience. It provides insight into why walls have been built around past experience and the purpose they intended to serve.
It's also about being challenged and feeling confronted. Being held accountable can sound like someone checking in to see what's there in that space. It doesn't make any of our choices right or wrong. It's acknowledging what was or wasn't done and perhaps what's gotten us stuck in our way.
Can I sit in that space in a conversation that is triggering and not be triggered? Can I be present with a different opinion and be OK with my choice? Will I choose for myself from a place of integrity and commitment who I will be?
In my practice to notice what draws my mind into a cycle of doubting myself, it would be helpful to be reminded of the “Universal Human Paradigm” from The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss. It’s a context that we sometimes view the world through that says, “There is a way that things should be. And when they are that way, things are right. When they’re not that way, there’s something wrong with me (the interpreter of events), with them (other people), or with it (anything in the world).”
The opportunity I see is to practice being out in the world and put the rubber to the
road, embracing imperfections, strengthening relationships and community, and
leaning into trust and empowerment. For me, that looks like being in integrity — to have
my thoughts, words, and actions in alignment without being drawn into the cycle of doubting myself. Demonstrating how I am trusting my inner voice vs. the nuisance of voices on the outside.
What Next? In 2022, I intend to integrate advice and feedback from coaches and my support network into my being by imparting another suggestion. Advice like what I read in The Last Word on Power to “shift your focus of attention from what you were doing to the way you are being. Specifically: are you being the ‘invented future and context’ that you created, or are you being ‘right,’ dominating and avoiding domination, and justifying the way you are?”
Wherever we fall on the spectrum of making an empowered choice for what we want to create as our new normal, our lives are determined by what we choose to take committed action around consistently and working together for our communities. Do you see any areas in your life that you could take on a practice like this? Will you stand for your commitment and be OK with someone else's feedback, perspective, and experience this year?
If so, let me ask you, what do you really want from your experience? What dream or desire do you have that scares you a little bit? Follow me on LinkedIn and visit my website for more info!
Jeremy Stegall, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jeremy Stegall has been fascinated by people and what motivates them since he was a child. His curiosity into why we do what we do lead him to Iowa State University in 2004, earning his B.A. degree in Psychology in 2008. Beginning his blog, Where the Change Happens, in 2018, Stegall’s writing provides readers in over 30 countries the tools to process questions we all have about making personal development growth a consistent habit.
Jeremy is a life coach and business success coach with Where the Change Happens Coaching, LLC. As an author, coach, and speaker, Jeremy has used his education and professional experience to bring new creative energy to the workplace, encouraging entrepreneurs on their journey to improve client relationships in their businesses. In 2020, Jeremy self-published his first book, Where the Change Happens, which has found international success.
