Written by: Janette Ghedotte, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The truth is in the vault. Understanding body language is your secret weapon because detecting and decoding body language offer the blueprint and the roadmap to:
connect the dots,
crack the code, and
unlock the mysteries of what is really being communicated.
The BODY Shows the Truth
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. When people tell the truth, then their bodies feel, know, and show it. Truth conveys natural ease and flows as the brain, body, and words are aligned. Verbal, nonverbal, and paralinguistic aspects of communication flow and synchronize together. When people are telling the truth, then their selected words, vocal pitch, volume, rate of speech, modulation, and body language expressions are congruent and credible.
Objectives vs. Subjective Truths
The actual truth is objective and definitive, based on verifiable or provable facts and evidence. Personal truths are subjective. Similar to beauty, subjective truth is in the eye of the beholder. Subjective truth is what people believe based on personal or life preferences, values, opinions, experiences, and biases. Subjective truths are perceived as facts, but may be based on personal, limited, or faulty information. People may stand firm in subjective truths even if their perspectives are incorrect. The facts for some may be viewed as opinions or flawed logic to others. Errors in perception cloud and distort the interpretation of information.
People do not like to find out or admit that they were wrong. The embarrassment can be too much to face. People do not want to disturb or destroy their self-esteem, beliefs, or identity within themselves or within the groups where they belong. Therefore, they will defend their values and interpretations of the truth no matter what, even if they were presented with contradictory evidence.
The truth may be spread across different sources or beyond the reach of some. Perhaps important aspects of the truth are not available or are withheld by others who are involved. Truth and lies fall within a spectrum and are subjectively defined. When people believe their version of the truth (even when their version of the truth is incorrect), then their words and bodies complement and flow together because they believe.
When people unknowingly pass on false statements or information, then they are not intentionally lying. Individuals are not lying if they believe and convey something to be true, even when it is not. They are simply unaware that the information is false and lack the intention to deceive. For example, close family members, friends, supporters, and fans of a deceptive person may enable the deception to continue without realizing the full extent and severity of the situation. Many may remain loyal to the deceptive person and reject anything that disrupts their view of reality. If the truth is too difficult to face, people often protect themselves with denials or refusals to discuss it. Family members, supporters, and fans who have unquestionable blind loyalty tend to display body language that is congruent with their beliefs. If they start to have doubts or suspicions, then their body language will reflect their uncertainty or apprehension.
Deception involves motivation and intention to confuse, distract, or guide others in the wrong direction or to an incorrect conclusion. Liars know the facts, but omit, conceal, change, or redirect relevant information to mislead others or create fallacies. Liars want to keep the truth hidden. They distort reality to keep others from discovering the truth.
For many, the bigger the prize, the stronger the motivation to deceive. Therefore, it is important to assess the intentions of others and determine if they have a motivation to tell the truth or more motivated to lie. Figure out what they stand to gain for lying or what they stand to lose if the truth is known. Motivation and intention are important to uncover or discover when people are deciding whether or not to be truthful.
From Head to Toes, the Body Shows the Truth
When people withhold elements of the truth, their brains and their bodies know it and show it. However, despite the liar’s deceptive attempts, aspects of the truth will leak out in the words and in the body. These leaks may be subtle hints or obvious hot-spot giveaways.
As you interact with others, notice what is said and what is shown. Also, be alert to what is not said and what is not shown. Are the behaviors unexpected, peculiar, and inappropriate given the context of the situation? If so, start to wonder why. During deception, words and expressions of the body may appear inconsistent or incongruent. Something in the words or the body somehow do not match up or make sense. You may sense something is off, but you cannot quite put your finger on it yet. Detecting and decoding nonverbal messages gives you in-the-moment intel so that you can adjust your actions accordingly to navigate through the conversation and interaction with others.
Shades of Gray
Truth and Lies are not categorically good or bad. Telling the truth is not always helpful and telling a lie is not always harmful. If you are getting dumped, divorced, or fired, do you really want to know why you were rejected? Sometimes you do and sometimes you do not. At times, the truth may be too much to handle. When the truth is too distressing or painful to reveal, then people may resort to lying. Lies can protect both the deceiver and the deceived. Since truth and lies fall on a spectrum, there are varying shades of gray for both.
People tell small lies in order to be socially polite and kind. Inconsequential fibs are generally harmless and can maintain harmony, goodwill, and relationships. Small lies tend to have a minimal negative impact. As lies get bigger, so do the risks of negative consequences. In order to catch the lies, big or small, you have to listen to the words and watch the body. However, when words say one thing and the body tells you something else, what do you believe?
To Believe or Not to Believe
Liars want you to believe the lies. They want to keep you in the dark by wrapping lies in layers of truth. Do you notice what is hidden in the word believe? Can you catch the clue in plain view? Notice how easy it is to spot the embedded lie once you know what to look for. BeLIEve. See how the lie is wrapped around and sandwiched within the truth? Deceptive people attempt to camouflage and embed their lies by surrounding them with elements of the truth. Understanding how to detect and decode body language shows you what to look for so the clues, warning signs, and hot spots become more obvious. So obvious that you may wonder how you did not catch the clues or warning signs in the first place.
Connect the Dots Crack the Code
Humans are emotional beings responding to stimuli. Feel. Show. Say. We feel emotions. Our bodies react and show their feelings. Then, we say the words. Are you capturing what is being conveyed? With Accurate Body Language skills, you reduce the risks of being deceived and manipulated. Why take the chance and suffer the consequences when you can develop body blueprint tools to minimize risk and maximize success? A building blueprint illustrates the technical details of the architectural or engineering design, what to do, and how to build it. Similarly, a body blueprint illustrates the details of the body design, what to do, and how to interpret the nonverbal messages.
Want to get to the truth? Then, you have to connect the dots and understand the words, body language, relationships, culture, and available information regarding the situation. Getting to the truth involves not only a micro focus of reading body language but also a macro understanding of human behavior and interpersonal relationships. The main objective is not to catch the lies. That is only the first step, not the only step. Detecting deception is the beginning, not the end.
Accurate Body Language takes you further, beyond the individual body, and shows you more. It is important to factor nonverbal expressions of the body in the context of the specific situation and takes into account the individual’s personality characteristics as well as the relationships the person has with others. Deception involves more than just reading body language. The body is an instrument and a channel to express deception.
In order to get at the center of deception, you have to understand the mindsets and motivations of liars. You have to understand how deceptive people operate and relate to others for the specific situation and in general. Until they get caught, liars benefit from deceiving others. Those who are untrustworthy attempt to create confusion and illusions to lure, manipulate, and deceive their unsuspecting targets. Liars want to distract others into wrong directions, detours, and dead-ends that take the attention off of them.
The more you learn about their tactics, the less you are to be deceived. Imagine being able to register and filter out deception before getting duped. What if you could catch at least one additional lie each day? The one that you catch may be a little white lie or a significant one. What would catching the significant lie be worth to you? Wouldn’t that be invaluable?
Think of all the time and effort you would save and the emotional pain and heartache you could avoid. The lies that you catch early can improve your quality of life later. When you master body language, you shift from being tricked to being informed. As you progress in your skills, your ability to spot deception will improve. Gradually, you will move away from deceptive uncertainty and move towards the certainty of truth, which will guide you to better decisions and more meaningful relationships.
Now or later. Now or never. The choice is yours. In this moment you can make the wise decision to take action and improve your knowledge of body language. The decisions you make will affect your life every day and in every way. Once you learn body language, you can apply your skills immediately in your interactions with others. Body language skills allow you to connect the dots, crack the code, and unlock the mysteries of what is really being communicated.
When you protect your life, family, and finances with body language blueprint skills, you can say goodbye to being duped and say hello to freedom and empowerment. You can replace the agony of deception with the confidence of the truth. As you weed out the lies, you clear the path towards the truth in your relationships, interactions, and life.
Janette Ghedotte, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Truth & Deception Detection Expert Janette Ghedotte is a MA LLP Clinical Psychologist, Founder, and CEO of Accurate Body Language.
Accurate Body Language is the KEY to cracking the code, unlocking the vault of nonverbal communication, and revealing the secrets of human interaction.
With over 20 years of corporate business, marketing research, advertising & strategic brand positioning, and clinical psychology experience, Janette specializes in understanding the complexities of human behavior, interpersonal relationships, and verbal, and nonverbal body language communication.