Calling Is the New Power Move If You Do It Right
- Brainz Magazine
- May 26
- 6 min read
Written by Annette Densham, Chief Storyteller
Multi-award-winning PR specialist Annette Densham is considered the go-to for all things business storytelling, award submission writing, and assisting business leaders in establishing themselves as authorities in their field.
When I was a kid, I lived with my grandparents. Born in the early 1900s, my Nan and Pop didn’t grow up with a phone. If they wanted to talk to someone, they did it in person, popped in next door for a chat, or went “down the street” to see the person in real life. So, when I’d get home from school wanting to call my friends for a chinwag, my Nan would say, “Why do you want to talk to them? You’ve just spent the whole day with them.” They had no idea how important it was to talk about Duran Duran’s latest video clip!
My Nan’s response was mostly driven by the fact that we had to pay for every call. There were no monthly plans. As part of a frugal generation, this just seemed like a big fat waste of money. Being the problem solver that I was, I would sneak into the study, dial the number that made the phone ring, and pretend they had called me. Clever, hey?
This was in the 80s, when phones were for talking to people. You’d spend hours on the phone, twirling the cord between your fingers, having a good old catch-up. And you didn’t need to make an appointment for four weeks on Tuesday at 3 p.m.
You’d dial a number (probably from memory), nervously wait through the dial tone, and have a full-blown, unfiltered conversation with someone. Real-time chat. No backspace. No emoji to cushion the blow. Just your voice, their voice, and that awkward moment of working out how to wrap things up without the old “You hang up first.”
Over the past ten years, around the time phones got smarter and people got more avoidant, phone calls quietly slipped out the back door. They were replaced by double-taps, thumbs-up, eggplant emojis, and a thousand different ways to communicate without actually connecting.
We used to call people to catch up. Now we send a meme and call it staying in touch.
The death of hello
Phones these days are everything but phones. They’re productivity tools, camera crews, shopping centres, newsrooms, entertainment hubs, and dating apps. The actual calling function is now buried beneath six swipes, two pop-ups, and the existential dread of “What if they actually answer?”
We’ve replaced conversations with interactions, replaced connection with convenience. Somewhere in the middle of all that efficiency, we’ve made real-time dialogue feel like an intrusion. Even when we do call, we apologise for it. “Sorry for the call, I just thought it might be quicker than texting 47 messages back and forth.” Translation: “Sorry for being emotionally available in an immediate and effective way.”
Telephonophobia: It’s a real thing
It’s easy to blame Gen Z. I’ve seen my kids flinch and cringe when the phone rings like it’s the ATO. The New York Post reported that younger employees, especially Gen Z, show aversion towards phone calls, a phenomenon termed telephonophobia. Employers are trying to reintegrate phone calls to counteract the cognitive load from constant digital messaging. But the rest of us aren’t exactly chomping at the bit to answer either. We’ve developed a mild allergic reaction to being cornered in real time.
Phone calls are full-contact communication. These days, we’re all wandering around in emotional bubble wrap and wearing “I’m busy” like a badge of honour.
They require your full attention. No scrolling while pretending to listen. You’ve got to actually be there, no turning the camera so you can watch the latest episode of MAFS.
They’re unscripted. There’s no draft mode, no way to soften the blow, and no way you can ghost halfway through unless you fake going through a black spot.
They’re intimate. There’s no tone in a text or DM. When you call someone, your voice reveals tone, hesitation, sarcasm, warmth, regret, all the human stuff that text bleaches out.
If you’re under 30, we can add grammar, which makes messaging my kids a minefield as I navigate their grammar trauma. Full stops are passive-aggressive. Proper sentence structure feels like someone’s angry. A thumbs-up emoji is a microaggression. We grew up believing good grammar was polite; they’re reading it as a digital side-eye. “Sure” sounds cold. “Ok” is when you end a friendship. Now, I can’t ring, and I’m stuck decoding vibes instead of words, where tone lives in lowercase, everything’s a soft launch, punctuation is basically shouting, and I’m not Mum but bruh.
It’s no wonder we’re afraid to call.
Texting is control, calling is courage
Text lets us control the narrative. You can edit, backspace, and craft the perfect message. You can pretend you didn’t see it. You can leave people on read with the plausible deniability of “Sorry, just saw this.” We all know you didn’t.
Calling has no such buffer. It’s vulnerable, real, and messy. Calling is the social equivalent of getting on stage without a script, which most of us would rather avoid. But it’s where real connection lives.
A place in business
Somewhere along the line, a phone ringing during the workday became the equivalent of barging into someone’s office uninvited, shouting, “Hello?” while they’re in the middle of writing an email or crying into their third coffee.
We’ve been so conditioned to async communication, Slack pings, emails, Teams messages, and ten thousand notifications that a phone call feels rude. It demands immediate attention. It breaks flow, doesn’t wait its turn, and in an era obsessed with productivity and boundaries, it can feel like a social violation. It’s not the phone call that’s rude; it’s the ambush. People don’t mind being called. They mind being surprised, with no warning, no context, no “Hey, got five minutes?” buffer.
A 2023 survey by McCrindle Research found that 61% of Millennials prefer a text before a phone call. It’s not about avoiding voice; it’s about respecting attention. We’ve all got inbox fatigue, calendar trauma, and are one eye twitch away from muting the planet. So yes, unannounced calls feel a bit aggressive.
Gen Z didn’t grow up with phone etiquette. They didn’t have to call the family doctor or speak to their friend’s mum before getting them on the line. So to them, a cold call is social Russian roulette.
The solution is
Give context. “Can I call you for 3 mins about the proposal?” = polite. Stick to the 3 minutes; it’s not a euphemism for waffling for an hour.
Keep it tight. Respect their time, and they’ll respect your call.
Read the room. Not everyone wants a phone call. That’s OK too.
Like most things in business, it’s not about the tool; it’s how you use it. Scott Hambuchen’s piece, The Power Of A Phone Call, published on Forbes.com, said, “A phone call is the most intimate form of connection a person can have with a brand, and it remains one of the most effective ways businesses can break through the noise to attract, engage, and retain customers.” Maybe it is your next marketing “innovation.”
Do people even want to talk anymore?
They do, but only when it really matters. The phone has become the emotional escalator, the upgrade from LOL to I need to hear you say it. People still call when:
It’s urgent.
It’s messy.
They’re overwhelmed and need someone who gets it.
Or when typing “hahaha” for the tenth time just feels ridiculous, and they’d rather laugh.
Maybe a phone call has evolved; it’s no longer for after-work gossip, but for meaningful conversations.
Bring back the call
Not the rambling check-in from a bored colleague, or someone waffling about the latest episode of whatever reality TV show has captured our attention, or for sales. It’s not for calls masquerading as “I’m not selling anything.” I’m talking about an intentional, warm, no-strings-attached kind of call, like the “just thinking of you” call, the “this needs a human voice” call, or the “don’t worry, I’ve got your back” call.
We’re drowning in messages, reactions, content, and perfectly curated everything. A phone call may be your rebel move, a throwback like 80s fashion that keeps coming back. If we stop treating phone calls like invasions and start seeing them for what they really are.
As Brené Brown puts it, “Good communication is in the context of a telephone call: you are not only receiving the words, but the emotions behind them as well.” That’s the gold. That’s the bit that gets lost in this world of carefully curated commas and group chats.
When we trade every conversation for a message bubble, we miss the heartbeat of what makes human connection meaningful. That human element is what makes the difference, especially when everything else sounds the same.
Annette Densham, Chief Storyteller Multi-award-winning PR specialist Annette Densham is considered the go-to for all things business storytelling, award submission writing, and assisting business leaders in establishing themselves as authorities in their field. She has shared her insights into storytelling, media, and business across Australia, UK, and the US speaking for Professional Speakers Association, Stevie Awards, Queensland Government, and many more. Three times winner of the Grand Stevie Award for Women in Business, gold Stevie International Business Award, and a finalist in Australian Small Business Champion awards, Annette audaciously challenges anyone in small business to cast aside modesty, embrace their genius and share their stories.
