After the Climb – Losing an Adult Child to Fentanyl Poisoning After Recovery
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 17
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 19
Adrienne Bender is a trauma survivor, Children's mental health therapist, grief coach, author of "The Almost Miracle Years", podcaster, and mother of 2 angel babies. Her mission is to share her story to help others navigate grief and loss.
When a child struggles with addiction, every day is a tightrope walk between hope and fear. And when that child enters recovery, truly works for it, fights for it, builds a life from it, hope begins to feel justified. You start to breathe again. You let yourself imagine birthdays, holidays, and weddings. You believe in the future.
But for many families, the story doesn’t end there. Sometimes, tragically, recovery isn't the end of the battle. Sometimes, it’s just the final chapter before a sudden, devastating loss. One accidental pill. One last relapse. One dose unknowingly tainted with fentanyl, and the light that fought so hard to return goes out.
This is the reality for thousands of families across the United States, as the fentanyl crisis claims more lives, often of people who were doing well, rebuilding, surviving. The hardest truth is this, fentanyl doesn’t give second chances.
A recovery earned
Families who have watched a loved one go through recovery understand the sheer strength it takes. It’s not just about quitting a substance, it’s about relearning how to live. From therapy to support groups, job interviews to mending broken relationships, recovery is full-time work. For parents, seeing their adult child make that effort can be the most hopeful time in years.
The person they remember begins to come back. Conversations are clearer, laughter more frequent. You start to trust again, to believe again. You celebrate milestones that most take for granted, a full-time job, a year of sobriety, a dinner where everyone shows up and no one is tense.
And then, in one night or one moment, it ends.
Fentanyl: The unseen killer
The heartbreak for many parents is not just that their child died of an overdose, but that it wasn’t even what they think of as an “overdose.” It was poisoning.
Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine. It’s often mixed, unknowingly, into counterfeit pills or street drugs like heroin, cocaine, or even marijuana. The person taking it may not even know they’re ingesting fentanyl at all. A single pill can be lethal. A single relapse can be fatal.
This distinction matters because many of the people dying from fentanyl were not “lost causes.” They were not hardened addicts. They were in recovery. They had plans. They had fought their way out of the darkness. They made one misstep and never got a second chance.
Grief with no script
Losing an adult child is already a grief few can understand. But when that loss follows a season of hope and healing, it can feel almost unbearable. There’s the added weight of what-ifs, the cruelty of timing, and the shame society still places on addiction. There’s also the misunderstanding that if they relapsed, it means they “didn’t try hard enough.”
Parents often feel they’re left holding two stories, the one of their child's triumph and the one of their death. And the world only wants to talk about the second.
But both are true. A child who fought addiction, entered recovery, and tried to build a life is a success story. That fentanyl stole their future doesn’t erase that truth. It underscores it.
What needs to change
This epidemic is not about “bad choices.” It's about a poisoned drug supply and a system that isn't prepared to protect those most vulnerable, even after recovery.
We need to shift the language from “overdose” to “poisoning” when fentanyl is involved. We need broader access to drug testing kits, more education about fentanyl risks, and widespread availability of naloxone (Narcan), which can reverse opioid overdoses. We also need to stop pretending that relapse is a moral failure. It's a medical reality, and in the age of fentanyl, it's too often a death sentence.
A legacy of love and strength
If you’ve lost an adult child to fentanyl poisoning, even after recovery, you are not alone. Your grief is valid. Your child’s story matters. Their recovery mattered. The love, the effort, the triumph, it all mattered.
Let their life be remembered not just for how it ended but for how hard they fought to live. Let their story be a call to action. Let their name be a light for others navigating the same path.
Because if there’s one truth stronger than fentanyl, it's love. And that doesn’t die.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use or has experienced a loss due to fentanyl poisoning, resources are available:
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Fentanyl Prevention and Awareness Resources
Partnership to End Addiction
You are not alone in this fight, and your story is part of something much bigger.
Read more from Adrienne Bender
Adrienne Bender, Grief Coach, Author, Health Therapist
The Almost Miracle Years, Adrienne shares the transformative power of meditation in her journey toward healing and self-discovery. Combining deeply personal anecdotes with practical insights, Meditations on Healing offers readers a guide to finding inner peace amidst grief and adversity.
