Written by Dr. Gaia Domenici, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
Fear of failure is arguably the number-one reason for self-sabotaging, procrastination and goal-missing. As a coach, I often find myself asking clients who express their fear of failure, ʻwhat if it goes well? ʼ or ʻwhat is the worst thing that can happen if you fail?ʼ. However, as a human, I have experienced fear of failure many a time in my life, and I understand that picturing best- and worst-case scenarios might not always present the client with the most effective solution – especially when fear of failure pervades more than one aspects of their life and shows up every day. In such cases, it is possible that they have lost connection with their Inner Warrior, the part of their Self representing physical, mental and emotional strength, as well as loyalty, honour and self-sacrifice. If this is you, here is how you can reconnect with your Inner Warrior and overcome your fear of failure.
The Warrior Archetype Belongs To Both Menʼs And Womenʼs Psyches
As described by Caroline Myss, the ʻWarrior archetype represents physical and emotional strength as well as the ability to protect ourselves and defend our rightsʼ. When this archetype is ʻempoweredʼ (or ʻintegratedʼ, to use a more Jungian term), the Warrior does not face his or her opponents with physical violence; however, in its ʻShadowʼ manifestation (when it has not been integrated within the personality), the Warrior appears violent and unethical. Whereas in the male psyche, the Warrior is often expressed through physical strength, in the female psyche, the ʻWarrior Womanʼ predominantly fights mental and spiritual battles. However, ʻwhen it comes to having the right instincts for survival and protection, male and female Warriors are the sameʼ (Myss 2013:431-432).
The energy from the Warrior archetype tends to be erotic in men,ʻrepresenting the height of virility and physical power as well as toughness of will and spiritʼ (Myss 2002:1105; see also Moore and Gillette 1990 and 1992; Bly 1990); in women, the energy from the Warrior archetype is mostly represented by a womanʼs ability to sacrifice herself in the name of her loyalty to her family or tribe, as it was the case with the ʻthe Amazon tribe of Warrior Womenʼ, able ʻto engage in fierce battle – even sacrificing part of their female physique to facilitate warfareʼ. Examples of female Warriors in todayʼs society are to be found in all sorts of activists and ʻSpiritual Warriorsʼ, displaying the virtues of ʻheroism, stoicism, and self-sacrifice to conquer the ego and gain control of our inner livesʼ, just like many men (Myss 2002:1107-1108).
Although an extensive literature review can show that the ʻathletic warrior girlʼ belongs to traditional imagery and myths (Campbell [1987]:95), and the ʻHeroin-Warriorʼ is a well ʻwidespread archetypal personificationʼ (Estés 1992), many women tend to forget about their close connection with the ʻWarriorʼ archetype, and reject their Inner Warrior. As a consequence, fear, self-doubt, indifference and inaction take over; in the most extremes cases, this can even lead to passive-aggressiveness, resentment or self-victimisation. Whether you are a man or a woman, recuperating the lost connection with this archetype is paramount for career success and personal growth.
5 Easy Steps to Reconnect With Your Inner Warrior
Assess your connection with your Inner Warrior. In a scale from 1 to 10, how often do you find yourself exerting physical, verbal or psychological violence (e.g. manipulation)? How often do you feel resentment, anger or frustration (to be more accurate, assess each of them in a scale from 1 to 10)? How often do you procrastinate? How often do you feel afraid of failing a task? How often do you feel unable to stick to a plan until the very end? How often do you feel tempted to betray a partner, a friend or an ideal? The higher your scorings, the lower your connection with your Inner Warrior.
Individuate the elements you need to work on: violence, anger, inaction, procrastination, self-sabotage, etc.? How important is it for you to work on each of them in a scale from 1 to 10? How urgent is it to work on each of them in a scale from 1 to 10? Write down the elements you need to work on and both scorings, so you can draw a hierarchy. For example, you need to work on inaction and self-sabotage, however, although self-sabotage scored 10/10 in importance while inaction scored 7/10, in this moment you choose to prioritise inaction (9/10 urgency) because it has been threatening your job (as opposed to self-sabotage, scored 5/10 in urgency, which you see more as a long-term threat).
Spend a few minutes every day visualising your Inner Warrior: what does he or she look like? How does he or she behave? Be as detailed as possible in your description. If it helps, you can also draw, paint, sculpt or carve your Inner Warrior, or try to feel him or her through physical activities that force you to exert physical strength and practise self-sacrifice (e.g. strength and power training, martial arts, ultramarathons and spartan races). Keeping in mind the hierarchy of elements you need to improve on, ask your Inner Warrior for advice and listen to their answers attentively. Get in the habit of interrogating your Inner Warrior whenever you need advice: the first few times you will struggle to hear their voices; with time, it will become natural to you.
Set goals and draw an action plan to achieve them based on the Warrior elements you need to work on. To continue with the above example, your main goal is bringing inaction from 7 down to 1 in 3 months, which translates into lowering its score by 2 points every month. To do so, you will create an action plan that works for your mindset and your schedule, such as volunteering for extra tasks at work, volunteering at a shelter, speaking for someone who cannot defend themselves from injustice, spending your days off driving your kids to their sports practice or game or doing housework – and anything else that resonates with you and helps you break through inaction. This process will keep you accountable for your progress. Whenever you struggle, consult with your Inner Warrior and ask them for advice; when you are unsure how to handle a certain situation, ask yourself, ʻwhat would my Inner Warrior do?ʼ and you will know the answer.
Review and readjust your goals and strategies every month, and do not be afraid to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed: you will be surprised with how many people will be willing to help you out. You can even seek help from a specialist, such as a psychotherapist, an analyst, a coach or a counsellor.
To Conclude
A healthy connection with the Inner Warrior facilitates an ongoing increase in physical, mental and emotional strength combined with a sense of loyalty and self-sacrifice. This translates into success, productivity and accomplishments on both professional and personal levels. Indeed, a strong connection with the Inner Warrior prevents fear of failure because it provides a sense of purpose and dedication stronger than any fears. Besides, it helps one see the bigger picture, transcending the myopic, ego-centred perspective of immediate comfort and rewards.
While reconnecting with the Inner Warrior is crucial for both men and women, women tend to be more in need than men, due to their tendency to miss or reject their connection with the ʻWarrior archetypeʼ. The 5 steps listed above apply to both men and women and, although best suitable for adults, can be helpful to children and teenagers, too. I wish you all the best in reconnecting with your Inner Warrior and, if you want to take it a step further, do not forget to sign up for my Shield-Maiden Tribe Bootcamp: a physical, mental and emotional challenge that will help you reconnect with your Inner Warrior at all levels. Sign up now and be notified when the next spots are available.
Dr. Gaia Domenici, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Gaia Domenici, also known as 'The Strongest Shield-Maiden', is a certified Nutrition and Health Coach, Strength and Conditioning Coach, Personal Trainer, and published author, with a PhD in Philosophy.
After spending a decade juggling between gym and academia, Gaia realised that body, mind and spirit are a whole, and, as such, they need to be trained together. So she founded 'Fitnosophy: Build Your Body Realise Your Self', a platform to share the spiritual meaning of fitness, and the impact of a strong body on a meaningful life. Following the sense of void and uncertainty left by the 2020 pandemic, Gaia founded the 'Shield-Maiden Tribe', a community in which women from across the world can share their inner and outer strengths, nourish their Inner Warrior, empower each other, and grow stronger together.
Since 2018, Gaia has coached countless clients and athletes worldwide, helping them get in tune with their Inner Warrior, and achieve physical, mental, and spiritual goals.
References:
Bly, Robert. 1990. Iron John: Men and Masculinity. Boston: Addison Wesley (Reprint. London: Rider, 2001).
Campbell, Joseph. [1987]. The Heroʼs Journey: The World of Joseph Campbell. Joseph Campbell on his Life and Work. Edited and with an Introduction by Phil Cousineau Foreword by Stuart L. Brown, Executive Editor. San Francesco: Harper Collins, 1990.
Estés, Clarissa Pinkola, PhD. 1992. Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. New York: Ballantine Books Inc (audiobook originally released in 1989).
Moore, Robert and Douglas Gillette. 1990. King Warrior Magician Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine. San Francisco: Harper Collins.
1992. The Warrior Within. Accessing the Knight in the Male Psyche. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc.
Myss, Caroline. 2002. Sacred Contracts. Awakening your Divine Potential. New York: Three Rivers Press, ePub version.
2013. Archetypes: Who Are You?. Foreword by Cristina Carlino. Carlsbad (California): Hay House, ePub vrsion.
