Written by: Jem Fuller, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many times have you made a New Year resolution and not followed through with it? Perhaps enough times that making them now seems like empty, wishful thinking. Or maybe you’ve even got to the point of not making them at all because you don’t want to be ‘that person’ who says they are going to make a change and then doesn’t. But each time the 31st of December approaches then passes, and we find ourselves in another January, we look hopefully again into the next 12 months and feel a sense of resolve to be better in some way. Why do we do this? Is there any point? And if so, how can we make our resolutions more effective and positively impactful?
As time passes, and the universe continues to expand, we experience life in cycles; another lap around the sun and the unfolding of seasons all over again. Although the dates we’ve assigned to track these solar and lunar cycles are merely human constructs, the rhythms and patterns themselves are the repeating dance of life, the life of all things, within which we are intrinsically and inextricably a part. And as all life evolves, we too are motivated to adapt, adjust and improve, whether we like it or not. The drive within to live a better life is deeply seated and ingrained. And we measure our success in this endeavour against the earmarks of the cycles through time.
We are also creatures of ceremony and ritual, making meaning and sense of life symbolically. Christmas, marriage, birthdays, bar mitzvah, funerals, pujas, prayer, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day… even the pomp and ceremony of modern-day courtrooms where judges still where wigs from days gone by, all of these are rituals or ceremonies that have become cultural ways we signify events. So to with the New Year’s Resolution; a ritual to punctuate and reinvigorate our attempts to improve our lives.
Given that this annual resolution is something we feel naturally drawn to do, whether it be as a proclamation to those around us, or as a silent internal determination, why not give ourselves the best chance possible of making our intentions become reality? These three tips here will certainly improve your chances of success.
Tip One: Keep it Simple, Specific and Achievable
Usually, a NY Resolution is to either start or stop doing something: start exercising, start writing that book, start meditating, stop spending so much time on social media or stop drinking so much etc. When you resolve to either introduce a new practice or cut back on something, start with bite size achievable chunks. Aiming for the stars can be setting yourself up to fail, which can lead to you feeling bad about yourself and reinforcing negative self-perspective.
Setting a smaller more achievable goal improves the odds of actual implementation. ‘Keep it simple’ just means not to over complicate the goal. And being specific reduces the chances of ambiguity and your intentions slipping away into the grey areas of unclarity.
For example, if your resolution was to start exercising, rather than going from zero to hero and saying, ‘right, that’s it, I’ve had enough, I’m going to exercise every day from now on!’, you could say, ‘On [Tuesday] mornings I’m going to go for a walk before work and on [Friday] mornings I’m going to do half an hour of gentle exercises from that app I downloaded last year’. Once you’ve created your new achievable exercise habits, you can always up the ante down the track and build upon your new healthy habit.
Tip Two: Create Leverage
Us humans need a strong ‘reason why’. For us to be motivated to take any action, it must mean something to us. The stronger the meaning (or reason), the more likely we are to do what needs to be done. Imagine your resolution was to ‘be more kind to yourself’ and your simple, specific and achievable resolution was to say a positive self-acceptance affirmation each morning when you get out of bed. If your reason for this was just ‘well I think it would be a nice thing to do’, there’s not a whole lot of personal leverage there. It doesn’t really matter whether you create that habit or not. But, if you said to yourself, ‘The way I beat myself up and continue to display guilt and shame for my past behaviours is teaching my children to be like that too! If I don’t start loving myself, I will propagate this broken-record scenario and my kids will end up being down on themselves too’, then you would have a much stronger ‘reason why’. (If you are a parent, the welfare of your kids is usually an awesome motivational currency!)
If you don’t have children, think about someone or something you really care about; that you would do anything for, and link your resolution in some way to this. Perhaps you could remind yourself that life is short, you are going to die at some point, AND you don’t know when! How would you want to show up today, if it was your last day? This is not morbid. This is motivational. How do you want to be remembered by those you love?
Tip Three: Accountability
The last decade of coaching has continued to emphasize how beneficial it is to have some form of accountability to our actions. This is usually most effective if you have enlisted the help of someone else. If you let someone close to you know that you’ve taken your New Year’s Resolution seriously this year, and it means a lot to you because [insert your leverage here], and you would be super grateful if they could just check in with you regularly to see how you’re going with it, you will be much more likely to take the action. This is not a burden to a loved one. Most people are looking for an easy opportunity to help someone they care about.
Sometimes you may even find a friend who wants to commence the new practice with you. When you commit to meeting each other every Tuesday morning for that walk through the park, you’re way more likely not to hit the snooze button on your alarm!
When you have the courage and conviction to say, ‘You know what, I am going to make a New Year’s Resolution, and I’m going to stick to it!’, if you keep it simple, specific and achievable, if you make sure the outcome is super important to you, and you have someone to hold you accountable, you are WAY more likely to enjoy successful implementation.
Jem Fuller, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jem Fuller is a trusted advisor and coach to executive and senior leaders across the public, private and not-for-profit sectors. He brings a fresh perspective from his colourful life of adventures and experiences around the world; from barefoot backpacker, fire-dancer and tattooist, to kindergarten teacher, travel consultant and corporate leader (and many things in between!).
His company, Leaders in Life, has been taking leaders on programs to the remote Himalayan mountains of NW India, the jungles of Northern Bali and remote desert regions of NW Australia since 2014. Jem combines his studies in various ancient healing modalities, mind practises and human behaviour to create practical and relatable strategies for improving leadership and culture.
Jem is a TEDx speaker and the author of 'The Art of Conscious Communication for Thoughtful Men', and 'What Matters Most'. He is regarded as an expert in communication and resilience. Jem's mission: Making lives easier. You can watch his TEDx talk here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lxeRsIi1S0"
