3 Steps To Survival When Being Browbeaten By Business Bullies
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 12, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Kylie Mort, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Today I had a win. I may have been in small business for twenty years, but in a regional community where most people are kind, empathetic, and community-minded, I am a very small fish in a very big ocean. And that vast global ocean is mean and full of sharks who thrive on destroying the little fish. Yet, I, the little fish, had a win today - with a little help from my whale friends.
Survival Step 1: Industry Knowledge
Mine was not the only small business shattered by the tidal wave of a global pandemic. It was an unprecedented and unforeseen wave that was easily ridden, manipulated, and conquered by many of the bigger species, but for us, tumbling helplessly in the whitewash, we focused solely on survival.
The COVID-19 era has bought out the best and worst in people, and in the commercial space also. Many stakeholders forewent their piece of the financial pie to feed those that struggled. Yet there were also the companies that went in for the kill, either washing their hands of responsibility for their misdemeanors or knowingly putting pressure on those they felt were not worth saving.
Small businesses survive through support networks that can provide the knowledge they themselves lack. Had I not had the support of professionals who knew their industry, other generous entrepreneurs who selflessly shared their experiences, and official government bodies who have been set up to protect the vulnerable, I would not be in the position I am today.
Bully businesses will play on your ignorance. They will pay lip service to your concerns as they disregard you, pretending to be collaborative as they pursue their bottom line and internal objectives. If you are floundering, seek the first-hand opinions of people who know the situation well, anecdotally, or professionally. Bullies may look powerful but, in many cases, they are masking ignorance with bravado.
Survival Step 2: Stakeholder Motivations
Also known as Emotional Quotient or EQ, Emotional Intelligence is the ability to better understand and utilize your emotions when dealing with external environments and people. It understands why you feel the need to react the way you do and to better understand and guide your response to the world around you. To continue with our original analogy, if one is to survive the dangers of the ocean, if one is to avoid becoming the next meal, one needs to understand their internal fishy instincts on which fish to avoid.
Emotional intelligence is about both awareness and management. If we are self-aware and socially aware, we are in a position to manage both ourselves and the relationships we make, including stakeholder relationships. A small business owner needs to understand who they are dealing with, not the brand, but the human element behind the brand. We all look at the world through a myriad of unique filters, and this colors our perspective. We need to consider that thoughtfully if we are to understand another’s motivations.
The more you know about people, the more you can empathize, understand, and communicate with people. The more you know about bullies, the more you understand how to manage them. A bully will not seek guidance, conciliation, or information from someone they consider less than themselves. A bully will always refer to authority, and relatedly a bully will always wash their hands of responsibility.
Bully businesses will market cooperation whilst driving individual agendas. They will proclaim their hands are tied as they profit from the spoils of your inferior negotiating position. If you are being strongarmed by a bully, seek the backing of a bigger fish with knowledge of their agenda. Bullies can always be trusted to appeal to authority to negate their actions. Therefore, use this to understand what is truly driving them.
Survival Step 3: Self-Awareness
You cannot change the bully, but you can change how you respond to them. We should always focus on what we can change. Be that the depth of our industry knowledge, the understanding of our stakeholder motivations, or our own mission and vision. This is particularly important when one is feeling downtrodden, pushed around, and browbeaten.
Why did you start this journey in the first place? What was your goal? If one is to be successful in one’s mission, one must have a map by which to navigate. This will fortify you and remind you of why you started when the bullies come out to knock you down. Focus on your own goals and have faith in your strengths and tenacity. You need to choose your battles and know when to walk away. There is always more than one way to reach your destination, so ensure you have considered your options well. Sometimes there will be a loss, but the losses could be far greater if you do not have a compass to guide you.
Do not let others detract from your peace; there is far too much good in the world to dwell on the negative. We live in an age of social media hubs that can connect you with like-minded individuals across the globe. Get help from the kind, the compassionate, and those who altruistically share their wisdom. Replicate the businesses you admire and surround yourself with people who lift you up. Above all else, learn from your interactions with healthy introspection to avoid future damage.
What is healthy introspection? It is the use of self-reflection over self-criticism. It is a healthy EQ. If you are socially intelligent, you can see the impact you have on others, but you can reflect on this with a goal of self-improvement. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, but it is important to ask four questions of your regret:
Is it important in the short term?
Does it have repercussions in the long term?
Can you negate these repercussions with future efforts?
Do you have a clear goal now you have used the knowledge?
I regret many things about my journey as an entrepreneur, but if I reflect on these with the purpose of self-improvement, they are all stepping stones to my future success. I am but a tiny fish in a vast ocean, but I know that when the sharks threaten, my ever-growing knowledge and my whale friends will provide my safe harbor.
Kylie Mort, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kylie Mort works with individuals of all ages to embrace and support the Academic Mind, Self-Awareness & the Mind-Body Connection. Assisting individuals by tailoring bespoke mentoring packages supporting academic, physical, and personal advancement and success.
Kylie is an International Author and Writer for Global Magazines, writing both academically and creatively to connect with those who seek guidance and inspiration to be their best selves. A former Secondary School Teacher & VCE Leader with 20 years of teaching experience, Kylie is a qualified & registered: School Teacher, Yoga Teacher & Performance Coach. She is also an entrepreneur, leading multiple-award-winning companies.
She is currently studying Psychological Science at Deakin University to provide holistic mentoring to her clients better, having spent decades honing her skills in face-to-face teaching, mentoring, and business & company development. Now, she is focused on the human mind and its power to empower through reimaging, redesigning, and recreating.
