2025 – The Year I Learned That Relief Is the Loudest Truth
- Brainz Magazine
- 1 hour ago
- 4 min read
Danielle catalyses children and adults to rise like a phoenix from the flames and to reach their optimum potential. She is an entrepreneur, inspiring 11+ and 7+ entrance exams tutor, rapid transformational therapist®️, business coach for overachievers, a life coach for all, and an NLP Master practitioner, and she is also certified by the ILM.
As 2026 approaches, I find myself exhaling in a way that only comes after survival. It has been an extraordinary year, full of growth, awakening, and moments of deep clarity, but it has also been profoundly traumatic. Both things can be true at once. They often are.
I don’t step toward 2026 lightly. I step forward, carrying firmer boundaries, a stronger sense of self, and a clearer understanding of what I will no longer tolerate. And yes, those boundaries came at a cost. The aftermath feels like a bloodbath, a massacre of friendships and relationships that could not survive my refusal to shrink, explain, or bleed quietly for the comfort of others.
But here is the truth that changed everything, when I cut ties, the first feeling wasn’t guilt. It wasn’t fear. It was relief.
Relief is not a small emotion. It is a revelation. Relief tells you that what you left behind was heavy. That you were living under pressure, you had normalised. That's what you called loyalty, love, or patience had slowly become oppression.
We often don’t realise how constrained we are until the weight is gone.
What fascinates and frustrates me most is how many people love to position themselves as your saviour. They are drawn to your openness, your honesty, your vulnerability. They offer support, guidance, and even protection. But too often, those same people later weaponise the very things you trusted them with. Your fears are recalled in arguments. Your past is used to undermine your present. Your softness becomes leverage.
This is not care. This is control disguised as concern.
There is a particular cruelty in someone who only loves you when you are broken enough to need them. When your healing threatens their role, their tone changes. The saviour becomes the critic. The safe place becomes a courtroom. And suddenly, you are punished not for your flaws, but for your growth.
2025 taught me that boundaries don’t destroy healthy relationships, they reveal unhealthy ones. They expose who benefits from your silence, your self-doubt, your endless understanding. And when those people fall away, it can look like a loss. It can feel shocking. But sometimes, what looks like destruction is actually excavation, clearing space for something truer.
Going into 2026, I am no longer willing to engage with the haters or entertain the noise that comes from people who refuse to confront their own unresolved issues. Time and again, it is those most unwilling to look inward who choose deflection as their weapon, projecting their discomfort, shame, or bitterness onto you. They wait for moments when you are most exposed, most vulnerable, and instead of offering compassion, they seize that fragility as an opportunity to attack. What they call honesty is often avoidance, what they label concern is frequently cruelty. I have learned that their reactions say far more about their inner turmoil than they ever do about my worth. And then comes the quiet moment of clarity, "Would I trade places with them?" When the answer is a huge, resounding, deafening no, it becomes the clearest truth of all.
And if choosing myself means fewer seats at my table, so be it. Peace has a guest list. Relief is the invitation.
At a deeper psychological level, several things are usually at play
1. Projection instead of self-reflection
When people refuse to face their own pain, insecurity, or unhealed wounds, they often project them outward. It’s easier to criticise, blame, or attack someone else than to sit with uncomfortable truths about oneself. When you are honest, vulnerable, or evolving, you become a convenient mirror, and many people would rather shatter the mirror than look into it.
2. Your vulnerability gives them access
When you open up during difficult periods, you’re not just sharing pain, you’re revealing where you are soft. Healthy people respond with care. Unhealthy people store that information. Later, when they feel threatened, jealous, or losing control, they use your most vulnerable moments as ammunition. It’s not a strength on their part, it’s fear dressed up as power.
3. Boundaries feel like rejection to the entitled
People who benefited from your over-giving, people-pleasing, or silence often experience your boundaries as betrayal. Instead of adjusting their behaviour, they attack your character. To them, your “no” feels like an accusation, even when it isn’t.
4. The saviour complex collapses when you heal
Some people are attached to being needed. Your healing threatens their identity as the rescuer, the advisor, the one who “knows better,” the one who is superior to you. When you no longer need saving, they can feel useless or exposed, and that discomfort turns into hostility.
5. Power shifts are uncomfortable
When you step into self-respect, the balance of power changes. Those who were comfortable when you doubted yourself may react aggressively when you stop. Attacks are often a last attempt to pull you back into a role that served them.
The key truth
Healthy people don’t punish growth. They don’t attack boundaries. They don’t weaponize vulnerability. When someone does, it’s a signal, not that you are wrong, but that you are no longer controllable. And that’s usually when you know you’re doing something right.
Read more from Danielle Baron
Danielle Baron, Life and Business Coach & Licensed Integrative Therapist
Danielle catalyses children and adults to rise like a phoenix from the flames and to reach their optimum potential. She is an entrepreneur, inspiring 11+ and 7+ entrance exams tutor, rapid transformational therapist®️, business coach for overachievers, a life coach for all, and an NLP Master practitioner, and she is also certified by the ILM.
One of Danielle’s much-loved abilities is being an overachiever because she thrives on the excitement and follows her passion, which is to help people live fulfilling lives.
