Updated: Mar 4
Written by: Gurpreet Kaur, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Why don’t I like myself? Like why?” said Mary while sobbing her eyes out. Mary knew something was wrong and needed help when her anxiety continued growing around taking her toddler for a stroll outside in the middle of the pandemic because she lived in a small condominium. She was suffering pretty much in every area of her life: relationship with husband, parenting her child, school, not working, physical health conditions like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and conflicts with parents. She doubted her decisions, she felt ugly, and was very anxious about the future. The reason she avoided walks because she felt people were looking at her and making fun of her body. After a couple of sessions, we realized that she was very hard on herself, judgmental towards herself, and lacked self-love.
Self-love is the most important piece of manifesting puzzle
I have worked with numerous clients on their mental health journeys, and one main common thing that people have to work on is self-love. The first thing I assess when working with my clients is their self-worth because it is directly related to their ability to heal themselves emotionally and physically.
When manifesting your desires, the most important piece of the puzzle is feeling worthy of your desires. If you have self-doubt, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence, the techniques you practice will most likely fail. Where does self-doubt, lack of confidence, or low self-esteem come from? From not feeling loved enough. When you lack self-love, you hurt your self-worth – read my blog on this here. I will talk more about different aspects of self-love and what does it look and feel like in daily life in my future articles, but for today, I want to keep the focus on you understanding that the most important thing you need for manifestation is feeling worthy and deserving of the desires you want to manifest. If your deservability level is low on any desire, you will have hard time manifesting that desire.
You construct your own future
I suffered from depression and suicidal ideation back in college. I lived a pretty sheltered life at home till I went away for college. When I got to college, the freedom, lack of sheltered structure, and the pressure of responsibility sent me into depression. I pretty much hit my rock bottom and had to learn to just cope with life. Psychology and self-help books were my best friends at that time. I started to question the meaning and purpose of life. My self-esteem was underground when I had to learn to define who I was. Existential and humanistic theories resonated the most with me but they all pointed to something like “Depression is the inability to construct future,” Rollo May. So, there I embarked on a journey to construct a future for myself. That’s when I got into the self-help books of manifestation. I am still on this quest, but it had changed slightly recently vs when I first started the journey about 20 years ago. Now I want to effortlessly manifest my desires or construct my future. Through this long personal journey and variety of clinical experiences, I have realized that low self-esteem or feeling not-loved-enough or lack of unconditional positive regard in one’s life is a very crucial piece to the puzzle of manifestation.
Feeling worthy or deserving of your desires is a must
If you are on a similar journey, I would highly suggest you to pay attention to your self-worth. When you are manifesting your desires, you feeling worthy and deserving of the desires is very important. If you skip this step, you might feel a lot of frustration along the way and might even become skeptical of the process. I am here to say that the process works, but first, you have to love yourself, feel worthy, and feel deserving of your desires.
Examine your desires and worthiness around them
What I want you to take away from this article is to start examining your desires that have not been fulfilled. Write them down and reflect on the beliefs around these desires. Do you feel you don’t have what it takes to be or have ______ (fill in the blank)? See what these desires are telling you. Pay attention to what direction these desires are taking you because it matters.
Your desires have purpose and mission
In the next article, I will walk you through how to use your desires as a part of your growth process that you feel good about. We also will go through a method to determine how to detect what desires are good or not for your growth.
grab your free 5 Essential Steps to Ultimate Self-care here!
Gurprett Kaur, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Gurpreet Kaur is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Life Coach, Speaker, and an Author. Dr. Kaur is very passionate about self-love, self-empowerment, wellness, reaching the full potential, and applying quantum mechanics principles to daily life. Dr. Kaur teaches a step-by-step self-care process to live a mentally and emotionally healthy life.