Written by April Michelle Ratchford, Occupational Therapist/Podcast Host April Ratchford, OTR/L, is an autistic occupational therapist and the voice behind Adulting with Autism. She supports neurodivergent adults across the world with relatable storytelling, lived wisdom, and empowering strategies for real-life challenges. Every January, we do the same thing. We set a long list of goals, feel motivated for about five minutes, and then put everything off until Monday. And if January 1st happens to land on a Monday? We wait for the next one. As an autistic occupational therapist, I can tell you, this isn’t a motivation problem. It’s a goal-design problem. In clinical practice, goals are not wish lists. They are structured, functional, and rooted in how the brain actually works. In this article, I’ll show you how to set goals using an OT framework from an autistic lens, so they are realistic, achievable, and sustainable instead of overwhelming and doomed to fail. Why most New Year's goals fail (and it’s not laziness) Most people fail at goals because they confuse volume with effectiveness. More goals do not equal more progress. In fact, the longer the list, the higher the likelihood of burnout, especially for autistic and neurodivergent individuals who already experience executive function overload. In occupational therapy, goals are: specific time-bound meaningful broken into manageable steps A goal that doesn’t respect how your brain works will fail every time. You actually have to care about the goal This is the part no one likes to hear. If you don’t genuinely care about the goal, if you’re doing it because you “should,” If it’s based on external pressure or expectations. That goal will fail. Not because you’re undisciplined, but because motivation does not survive against disinterest. Before setting any goal, ask yourself: Do I actually want this? Will this make my daily life easier? Am I willing to engage with the process, not just the outcome? If the answer is no, remove it from the list. Short-term vs long-term goals: How autistic brains work best Many autistic minds do not think well in long timelines. Year-long goals or even 90-day plans can feel abstract, boring, or overwhelming. Instead, I recommend: 30-day long-term goals 1-2 short-term goals within that timeframe Autistic brains thrive on pattern recognition. We want to see A - B - C and understand how changes affect outcomes. Short cycles provide feedback, clarity, and momentum. Case example: Organization is not one goal, it’s many “I want to be more organized” is not a goal. It’s a category. You must choose what you want to be organized about: your room medications clothing appointments daily routines Pick one. Real-world OT example: A dorm room reset When I walked into my son Z’s dorm room after a rough semester, the clutter explained everything. The space was so visually overwhelming that functional thinking was nearly impossible. We didn’t start by “cleaning the room.” We started by identifying tasks. Opened unopened boxes Sorted medical supplies Assigned one active medical drawer Created designated zones Then we moved one area at a time: closet, desk, bed. This process took two hours in a small room, because organization is intentional, not fast. Turning goals into systems that stick Once the physical space was addressed, routines were next. Goals fail without systems. We created: a weekly medication routine a designated cleaning day a fixed time block for room resets a written weekly schedule Autistic and ADHD brains do not reliably operate on memory alone. Time blocking reduces cognitive load and decision fatigue. Is it annoying? Yes. Does it work? Also yes. Consistency beats perfection every time You will mess up. That is expected. The difference between success and failure is same-day recovery. Failure is not proof you can’t do something, it’s data. It tells you: the task was too big the timing was wrong your body needed something else The goal is not perfection. The goal is returning to the system the same day. Big goals still work, when you shrink them Goals like weight loss, financial stability, or major life changes require breaking down the process even further. Instead of doing everything at once: choose movement or food choose structure or habit change choose one variable at a time Too much, too fast guarantees quitting. The autistic reality of goal-setting Year-long goals don’t work for me. Ninety days is too long. I operate in 30-day cycles with short-term goals nested inside. That’s not failure. That’s accommodation. Most neurodivergent people function better this way, they just haven’t been taught to work with their brains instead of against them. Key takeaways for the year ahead: Pick a goal you genuinely care about Limit yourself to one or two short-term goals Use 30-day timelines Build systems, not motivation Treat failure as data Adjust, don’t abandon This is how goals become achievable instead of exhausting. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from April Michelle Ratchford April Michelle Ratchford, Occupational Therapist/Podcast Host April Ratchford, OTR/L, is an autistic occupational therapist, writer, and global advocate for neurodivergent adults. As the creator and host of Adulting with Autism, an internationally ranked podcast with over two million downloads, she blends clinical expertise with real-life lived experience. April specializes in supporting autistic young adults as they transition into independence, higher education, and adult identity. She is known for her clear, empowering approach that makes complex neurodivergent challenges accessible and manageable. April is currently advancing her studies in neuroscience through King’s College London to further elevate her work in autistic well-being and adult development.

Written by Dr. Sandra Wilson, Business Coach, Mentor, and Consultant Sandra is renowned for her insightful approach to coaching leaders and leadership teams. With years of experience as an organisational psychologist and master coach, she brings breadth and depth to her work. She combines robust psychological theory with a practical approach to individual and team development. In a world defined by constant transformation, hybrid workforces, rapid technological advances, shifting generational expectations, and global competition, organisations are recognising that culture is not a decorative accessory, it is a strategic imperative. Culture determines how people behave when no one is watching, how decisions are made under pressure, and how resilient an organisation becomes when facing uncertainty. It influences whether employees show up with creativity and energy or retreat in silence and survival mode. In essence, culture is the invisible operating system that drives performance, innovation, and well-being. Yet despite years of leadership workshops, glossy value statements and motivational posters, many organisations still struggle to build cultures that are genuinely healthy, empowering and sustainable. I have witnessed versions of the gap, organisations that claim to value collaboration but reward competition, who say they prioritise well-being but do not address burnout, who advocate transparency but practice secrecy at the highest levels. When culture is dictated from the top rather than co-created, people disengage. When behaviours do not align with espoused values, trust is eroded. To build a healthy culture, organisations must embrace a fundamental shift, culture cannot be mandated, it must be co-created. To do that effectively, we must understand the psychological and systemic forces that shape collective behaviour. One of the most powerful lenses for understanding this is Transactional Analysis (TA), specifically the concept of organisational script. What culture really is Organisational culture is often defined as “how we do things around here”, but in reality, it is much deeper than visible behaviours or stated values. Culture is the lived experience of employees. It is the accumulation of daily interactions, unspoken expectations, leadership behaviours, and emotional climate. In essence, it is a set of unconscious agreements that influence whether people feel safe or threatened, valued or replaceable, and whether they are encouraged to contribute or pressurised to conform. A healthy culture is not soft, it is structural. Research demonstrates that organisations with strong, supportive cultures achieve higher employee retention, stronger engagement, greater innovation, and stronger financial performance. Culture shapes decisions that ultimately build or break strategy. When people feel psychologically safe and trusted, they take measured risks, share ideas, speak up, disagree without being disagreeable, and create healthy relationships. When people feel blamed, shamed, judged, or ignored, they shift into self-protection, compliance, silence, and resignation. In a modern landscape where human creativity and agility are essential, survival mode cultures are organisational liabilities. Why culture must be co-created, not imposed The traditional model of corporate culture creation has been top-down, leaders decide what the culture should be and expect everyone to adopt it. Culture cannot be installed like software. People commit to what they co-create. Co-creating culture means inviting employees at all levels to actively participate in designing the work environment. It means recognising that culture is not designed by posters and slogans but by relationships and the quality of everyday conversations. When culture is consciously co-created, ownership replaces compliance, engagement replaces resistance, trust replaces fear, and resilience emerges as a collective capability, enabling people to adapt, grow, and thrive together. Culture is not built through leadership programmes, initiatives, or value statements. These are the tools that can support culture, but they cannot create without robust alignment between intention and action. Culture is either reinforced or undermined in every meeting, every leadership decision, every performance review, and every informal exchange. It does not live in an employee handbook, it lives in the human nervous system. Transactional analysis and organisational script Transactional Analysis (TA) is a social psychological theory developed by Dr Eric Berne, and it helps us understand how beliefs, behaviour, and psychological dynamics shape relationships. One of TA’s core concepts is the life script, defined as the unconscious narrative that an individual develops in childhood to make sense of the world and that later influences adult decisions, beliefs, and relational patterns. What is less widely discussed is that organisations also develop scripts. An organisational script is a set of unspoken messages, expectations, emotional rules, and behavioural patterns that shape how the organisation functions. It determines what is permitted, what is rewarded, what is feared, and what is forbidden. It shapes whether people speak up or remain silent, whether mistakes are treated as learning opportunities or as punishable offences, and whether leadership is authoritarian, paternalistic, participatory, or empowering. Organisational scripts are transmitted through symbolic communication, such as who gets promoted, how conflict is handled, how leaders respond to being challenged, and how success is defined. Scripts are often inherited unconsciously from organisational history or industry norms. There are messages embedded in the unconscious of the system, for example: “Don’t ask questions, just deliver results” “Don’t show vulnerability, stay strong” “Keep conflict quiet, don’t rock the boat” “Don’t challenge authority, be compliant” These examples are not written down anywhere, yet beliefs such as these, embedded in the system, powerfully govern behaviour. The problem with an unconscious script is that it operates automatically, even when it does not serve the organisation. The culture of the organisation is a result of the script and, left unexamined, reproduces itself through generations of employees. Healthy cultural transformation begins with exploration of the script, once the organisation can see the narrative it is living with, it can consciously rewrite it. The act of rewriting is the essence of co-creation of a healthy culture. Creating culture through shared purpose and psychological safety At the heart of a healthy organisational culture lies psychological safety, the belief that we can speak openly, experiment, and bring our authentic selves without fear of blame, shame, or judgement. Psychological safety is the birthplace of innovation. Without it, people silence themselves, hide mistakes, suppress suggestions, and protect themselves. When people feel genuinely listened to, they fully engage. When they feel part of something meaningful, they contribute more confidently. When leaders operate from curiosity rather than control, they unlock organisational intelligence. Leaders must be facilitators of conversations, model transparency, and humility. Leadership is less about power or status and more about relationships. A healthy culture is not one where everyone agrees, but one in which disagreement is safe and productive. The work of cultural co-creation Co-creating a healthy culture is not an event, it is a practice. It requires a willingness to ask uncomfortable questions and the patience to build new habits. It requires consistency and not only emotional intelligence but also social and relational intelligence. It requires leaders to look inward because culture mirrors leadership behaviours. Culture does not change when organisations declare new values, it changes only when leaders embody behaviours aligned with those values. People follow experiences, not words. The real work of culture is the relational work, the way leaders respond to challenges, the way they deal with mistakes, their own and others, the depth with which they listen, their ability to embrace human frailty whilst driving towards excellence. Culture is co-created through conversations, experiences, and daily choices. When employees believe they can influence culture, hope replaces helplessness. When people’s voices matter, accountability becomes shared rather than enforced. When the dignity of individuals is honoured, performance becomes a natural outcome, rather than a pressure demand. The future belongs to co-created cultures We are living in a pivotal moment for workplace transformation. The 2020 pandemic exposed what had previously been unquestionable. People no longer want to trade well-being for steady employment. They want purpose, psychological safety, inclusion, and humanity. They want their workplace to be a community of contribution. A healthy culture confers a competitive advantage on an organisation. More importantly, it is a moral choice. Leaders who rise to this challenge will attract talent, inspire loyalty, and adapt rapidly. Those who cling to outdated scripts will struggle to evolve. The future of work will be built on collaboration, not control, on partnership, not hierarchy, and on trust rather than fear. Culture is something we build together, not something senior managers own. Closing reflection The organisational script silently dictates the organisation's culture. Every employee contributes through their decisions, beliefs, and behaviours. Every leader reinforces it through their presence, not their policies. At any moment, we can reinforce the old story or co-create a new one. Visit my website  for more info! Read more from Dr. Sandra Wilson Dr. Sandra Wilson, Business Coach, Mentor, and Consultant With over 35 years of experience in organisation development, Sandra is a dedicated researcher of human behaviour both at an individual and systemic level. She defines her work as helping people get out of their own way, passionately believing in the untapped potential and limitless resources within every individual. Her mission is to support people in living richer, more fulfulling lives, both professionally and personally. Sandra works internationally as a consultant, teacher, coach, mentor and supervisor advocating for rigourouse development processes without rigid formulas.

Written by Dan Williamson, Coach, Mentor, and Founder Dan is a qualified coach and mentor with 20+ years of experience helping people unlock their potential by challenging perspectives and enhancing self-awareness. He founded Teach Lead Transform, an online platform for self-discovery, learning, and language growth. Your CV looks perfect. That might be the problem. When every bullet point is polished, every gap explained away, and every description sounds like it came from the same AI prompt, recruiters don’t really see anything at all, because the CV is generic. I've reviewed hundreds of CVs over the past decade. The ones that work aren't the most polished, they're the most honest. The ones that fail aren't poorly formatted or badly written, instead they're so sanitized and are usually just a list of responsibilities, they could belong to anyone. Your "perfect" CV is probably not even being noticed, and it’s nothing to do with your qualifications or experience. The perfection problem Recruiters are trained to spot inconsistencies such as employment gaps, regular job changes, career pivots, but also a CV that seems too ‘perfect’. When everything is grammatically correct, every achievement flawless, and the presentation unblemished, this sort of CV says nothing and raises more questions than it answers. Perfect CVs signal a few things: You're pretending to be someone you’re not, you’ve hidden anything that might be controversial, or (shock horror) show a personality, or increasingly, you’ve just asked an AI to write it for you. Note: Whilst using AI is quicker, it’s a machine without the individual nuances we all have, take the time to write out your experience, it speaks volumes. Also, think about it from a recruiter’s perspective. They're reading their hundredth CV of the week. Every single one claims to be a "results-driven professional with a proven track record" or lists "strategic initiatives," "cross-functional collaboration," and something they are “Known for…” In short, all of them sound the same, making them forgettable. Ironically, by trying to be perfect, you’ve eliminated every possible way to be memorable and authentic. Five unintentional CV red flags  Red flag 1: The language of generic achievement "Increased efficiency by 30%" says nothing. What did you do? Remembering the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) methodology is very helpful here. I see this mistake constantly. A CV packed with impressive-sounding percentages attached to vague achievements. "Drove 40% improvement in team performance." "Increased revenue by 25%." "Reduced costs by 35%."  These statements say to me: "I know what a good CV bullet point is supposed to look like, so I created one." The percentages without context are meaningless. What process did you change? What problem were you solving? What did you learn that you'd apply differently next time? What was the metric at the start, and what was it at the end? That's what reveals competence, not the number, but the thinking, the action, and the result. Instead of: "Increased team efficiency by 30% through process improvements." Try: "Reduced new hire onboarding from six weeks to four by identifying three steps that added no value. Required convincing department heads to change their approach, which taught me about organizational change." The second version is longer and less polished, but now I’m interested, and I’m already thinking about questions to ask at an interview to understand more about how you think. Red flag 2: Inconsistent timelines  The CV that lists years without months to obscure a gap. Or, more common, the work history that stops 6 months or a year from the time you are making an application. Instantly, I’m asking, “What have you been doing since?”  These gaps are so easy to spot, and when I see them, I’m assuming the worst, because if you're working this hard to hide something, it must be bad, right? Usually, it isn't. Usually it's something completely understandable, caregiving, illness, redundancy, taking time to figure out what you wanted. Things that make you human and often more capable, not less. Life experience complements work experience. Remember, the explanation that comes later, if you get to an interview, must overcome the distrust you created by hiding it in the first place. Interview questions should be about what you included, not what’s missing. Instead of hiding it: "2018-2019: Stepped away from full-time work to care for a parent with declining health. During this time, I took on project work for three former clients and realized I wanted to pivot from corporate finance to financial planning for individuals.” That's honest, human, and shows values with strategic thinking. It's also far less suspicious than carefully formatted dates that don't quite add up. Red flag 3: Borrowed authority Using industry jargon and buzzwords that sound impressive but say nothing: "Leveraged synergies across cross-functional stakeholder groups to drive strategic initiatives and deliver value-added solutions in a dynamic environment." Hmmm. From experience, people who talk a lot, usually don’t really have anything of substance to say. This is a sentence that talks. A lot.  This is borrowed authority, or realistically just BS. Language that sounds professional because it sounds like everyone else's professional language when it has no substance to it. I read this and my eyes glaze over, or I just laugh because it’s such an absurd statement. All this tells me is that you know what professional language is supposed to sound like. It doesn't tell me how you think, what you did, or why it mattered. Instead of: "Leveraged cross-functional collaboration to drive strategic outcomes." Try: "Convinced three department heads who rarely spoke to each other to jointly redesign our customer onboarding. They were sceptical until I showed them how much time we were wasting with handoff confusion." The second version uses normal language to describe real work. It shows what you did, how you did it, and the challenges.  Red flag 4: The invisible person When everything is about the company or team, and nothing reveals who you are as a professional. If everything is about what the team achieved, the person who wrote the CV completely disappears. Not wanting to take credit for team efforts or overstate your individual contribution is admirable. However, the reader needs to understand your specific contribution. Not because they want you to take credit from others, but because they're hiring you, not your former team. Instead of: "Team delivered 40% improvement in customer satisfaction through process redesign." Try: "I led the research phase for our customer satisfaction project, interviewing 30 customers to understand where our process was failing. Their feedback directly shaped three of the four changes we made. The hardest part was getting leadership to hear that our 'efficient' process was actually creating work for customers." Now I know what you did, how you think, and what you learned.  Red flag 5: Strategic omission The memorable career moves and personal experiences omitted for fear they're "not professional enough." The year you spent teaching English abroad that taught you how to explain complex concepts simply. The volunteer work that made you realize you cared about mission-driven organizations. The "failed" startup that taught you more than any corporate role ever did. You left all of that out because it doesn't fit the template of what a professional CV is supposed to look like. Those are often the most interesting parts of your story! The gold nuggets that make you different! They're what I’m going to remember after reading ninety identical CVs about strategic initiatives and cross-functional collaboration. Instead of leaving it out: Include it, shout about it, but show the professional relevance. "2017: Taught English in Vietnam. This detour taught me that my ability to break down complex financial concepts for non-experts was a skill worth developing. Returning to client-facing work, it completely changed how I explained investment strategies." That's interesting and shows self-awareness with the ability to leverage and learn from life experiences. Writing an authentic CV Authentic doesn't mean casual or unprofessional. It means real. Your CV should sound like you wrote it, not like you assembled it from templates. It should reveal how you think, not just what you did. It should show the person behind the credentials. This requires different choices: Strategic disclosure instead of complete sanitization. Not every detail of your life belongs on your CV, but the parts that shaped your professional judgment probably do. Include what's relevant, frame it clearly without apologizing. Your language instead of buzzwords. If you wouldn't say "leveraged synergies" in conversation, don't write it on your CV. Context for achievements instead of percentages. The number matters less than what you did to get there and what you learned doing it. Your voice instead of generic professionalism. Professional doesn't mean personality-free. It means clear, respectful and appropriate. Your CV can be these things while still sounding like you wrote it. The integration method for CV writing Here's how to rewrite your CV with authenticity: Step 1: Identify what you've sanitized or omitted. Read your current CV with this question in mind: What parts of my career story are missing? The career gap you explained away, the pivot you didn't mention, the personal experience that shaped how you work or the failure that taught you something important.  Step 2: Find the professional relevance in your real story. The career gap? It shows values, resilience, strategic thinking. The pivot? It shows adaptability, clarity, courage. The unusual experience? It shows diverse thinking, cross-context learning. Your job isn't to hide these. It's to show why they matter professionally. Step 3: Practice language that's honest without being defensive. There's a difference between: "Unfortunately, I had to take time off due to personal circumstances." And: "Stepped away for eighteen months to manage a family health crisis. Returned with clarity about the kind of work environment I needed, now seeking mission-driven organizations." The first apologizes. The second frames.  Step 4: Test with people who will give honest feedback. Show your revised CV to someone who knows you professionally. Ask them: "Does this sound like me? Is it clear what I did and how I think?" If they say it could be anyone, you've sanitized too much. If they say it's too casual, you've overcorrected. If they say it's clearer and more compelling, you're on track. When authentic actually means strategic The fear is that authenticity will make you less competitive, that honesty about gaps or pivots will eliminate you from consideration, that personality will seem unprofessional. Sometimes, that will happen. Some organizations want conformity. Some recruiters want the template version. Honestly? Those probably weren't the right opportunities for you anyway. The CV that's authentically you does something better than impressing everyone, it attracts the right opportunities. When you're clear about who you are, the roles that fit will respond. The roles that don't will pass you by. This feels risky until you realize that getting hired for being someone you are not is the actual risk. The CV that sounds like you works as a filter. The organizations that respond positively to authenticity are the ones where you can sustain working. The ones that want the sanitized version were never going to be a good fit. Your CV checklist Before you send your next application, ask yourself: Could someone who knows me professionally recognize this as mine? Am I using phrases I'd never say out loud? Does my description sound generic? Have I included context for my achievements, or just numbers? Are there career choices I'm hiding rather than framing? If I read this as a recruiter, would I remember it? Does this show how I think, or just what I did? If you're answering no to most of these, your CV isn't working as hard as it could. The goal isn't to create a perfect CV. It's to create an honest one that makes the right people want to talk to you. What I've learned after years of this work and from personal experience: The most forgettable CVs are the perfect ones; the most memorable ones tell the truth strategically. Your career path is more interesting than your CV currently suggests, that's exactly what's making you forgettable. So, stop trying to eliminate every objection. Start showing who you really are, and the right opportunities will respond. If you are interested in an independent assessment of your CV with some observations for improvement, at TLT, we offer a free 20-minute consultation to understand more and identify how we can help.  Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dan Williamson Dan Williamson, Coach, Mentor, and Founder Dan is passionate about continuous growth to positively impact others. As a qualified coach and mentor, he empowers people to deepen their self-awareness, strengthen their personal identity, and unlock their true potential. Using his own self-discovery experiences as a foundation, he helps individuals develop bespoke strategies to enable them to live as their authentic selves. Through his writing on Teach, Lead, Transform, his online learning, language, and self-discovery platform, his aim is to stimulate thinking and awareness to empower self-directed personal growth.

Written by Angela Attar, Holistic Healer & Spiritual Guide Angela Attar is a Holistic Healer & Spiritual Guide, Reiki Master, Homeopath, and Spiritual Coach. She specialises in Emotional and Energy Healing, helping individuals release blocks, restore balance, and reconnect with their true selves through integrative mind-body-spirit practices. Many people experience an ongoing inner conflict, a sense of overthinking, emotional reactivity, or feeling disconnected from themselves despite doing “all the right things.” Life may appear stable on the outside, yet internally, there is confusion, exhaustion, or a constant feeling of being on edge. This inner tension often comes from two very different forces competing for control, the ego and the higher self. Understanding the difference between ego vs higher self, and recognising which one is guiding your thoughts, decisions, and emotional responses, can be profoundly transformative. What is the ego? The ego is not something to get rid of, nor is it inherently negative. It exists to protect us. It develops through life experiences, conditioning, and moments where safety, emotional or physical, is felt uncertain. The ego’s role is survival. It scans for danger, seeks control, and tries to prevent discomfort or rejection. It often speaks through fear-based thoughts, self-doubt, comparison, or the need for certainty. While its intentions are protective, when the ego dominates, life can begin to feel heavy, reactive, and exhausting. What is the higher self? The higher self represents the calm, grounded part of us that is connected to truth, integrity, and inner knowing. It is not loud or demanding. It does not rush or pressure. Rather than reacting, the higher self responds. It is aligned with values rather than fear, trust rather than control. Decisions guided by the higher self tend to feel steady and clear, even when they involve challenge or change. Ego vs higher self: Key differences Understanding the contrast between these two inner voices makes them easier to recognise in daily life. The ego operates through fear, the higher self through trust The ego feels urgent, the higher self is patient The ego seeks external validation, the higher self relies on inner alignment The ego overthinks, the higher self knows The ego tightens the body, the higher self softens it Neither voice disappears entirely, but awareness allows choice. Signs the ego is running your life Many people recognise ego dominance not through dramatic moments, but through subtle, ongoing patterns, such as: Constant overthinking and second-guessing decisions Emotional reactivity or feeling easily triggered A strong need for reassurance or approval Difficulty resting or slowing down Feeling disconnected from yourself despite effort and productivity These patterns are common during periods of chronic stress and nervous system overload , and they are not personal failings. Signs you are listening to the higher self When the higher self leads, life does not become perfect, but it does become clearer. Common signs include: Decisions feel calmer, even when they are not easy Emotional responses soften rather than escalate Increased self-trust and reduced need to explain yourself A sense of alignment rather than force Feeling more present in the body rather than stuck in the mind This shift often feels subtle but deeply grounding. Why so many people are stuck in ego mode Modern life places enormous strain on the nervous system. Constant stimulation, emotional suppression, unresolved experiences, and long periods of “pushing through” leave little room for stillness or reflection. When the nervous system remains in a prolonged state of stress or survival mode, the ego naturally becomes louder in an attempt to maintain control. This is especially common in those who are responsible, empathetic, or used to supporting others. Ego dominance, in this sense, is often a sign of overwhelm rather than weakness. Research into how the nervous system responds to prolonged stress  shows that ongoing stress can significantly impact emotional regulation, decision-making, and overall wellbeing. How to begin shifting from ego to higher self The transition from ego-led to higher-self-led living does not happen through willpower alone. It begins with gentle awareness. Simple practices can support this shift: Pausing before reacting Creating moments of quiet without distraction Reconnecting with the body through breath or stillness Allowing emotions to be felt rather than pushed away Receiving support rather than managing everything alone Practices that focus on calming the nervous system naturally  can be particularly helpful in creating the internal safety needed for this shift to occur. Living from alignment, not survival When the higher self begins to guide more of your inner world, life often feels less effortful. Decisions come from clarity rather than fear. Healing becomes deeper because it addresses root causes, not just symptoms. Living from alignment does not remove challenges, but it changes how they are met, with steadiness, trust, and self-respect. Start your reconnection journey Feeling disconnected from yourself can be unsettling, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Often, it is simply a sign that your system has been in survival mode for too long. If you feel drawn to explore this more deeply, personalised Emotional & Energy Healing sessions  can support you in reconnecting with your inner clarity, regulating the nervous system, and gently releasing what no longer serves you. This work can also form the foundation for a longer-term journey of inner alignment and self-trust. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Angela Attar Angela Attar, Holistic Healer & Spiritual Guide Angela Attar is a Holistic Healer & Spiritual Guide, Reiki Master, Homeopath, and Spiritual Coach. She works with individuals seeking to release emotional blocks, restore balance, and reconnect with their true selves, with a special focus on empowering women on their healing journeys. Through her integrative approach combining Reiki, homeopathy, and spiritual coaching, Angela helps clients build resilience, clarity, and a renewed sense of inner strength. Her mission is to guide others back to their authentic power so they can live with greater purpose, freedom, and fulfilment.

Records are often treated as moments of luck. In Rhode Island tautog fishing, Captain Connor MacLeod has proven they are the result of preparation, repetition, and deep local knowledge. In 2021, MacLeod made statewide headlines when a fish caught aboard his Newport-based Tall Tailz Charters shattered a Rhode Island tautog record that had stood for nearly seven decades. When that record fell again in 2024, many assumed the story had ended. On November 9, 2025, Tall Tailz Charters reclaimed the title – making Connor MacLeod the first skipper in Rhode Island history to break the state tautog record twice. “This isn’t about chasing records,” MacLeod said. “It’s about doing things the right way, trip after trip. The results come when everything else is right.” The first record: Breaking nearly 70 years of history The first milestone came in 2021, when a 21.57-pound tautog measuring 33 inches was landed aboard Tall Tailz Charters. The angler was 17-year-old Paul Newman of New Jersey. That fish broke the previous Rhode Island state record of 21.25 pounds – a mark that had stood for nearly 67 years. “It was special for a lot of reasons,” MacLeod said. “A young angler, a historic record, and years of preparation coming together in one moment.” But for MacLeod, the catch was never about headlines. “You don’t stumble into fish like that,” he said. “They come from understanding the fishery and putting in the work season after season.” Losing the title – and setting the stage for a return In 2024, the 2021 record was surpassed by a 22.33-pound tautog. While the record moved on, MacLeod stayed focused on his process. “Records come and go,” he said. “What matters is consistency.” That consistency would soon rewrite the story. The reclaim: A bigger fish, same charter, same captain On November 9, 2025, Tall Tailz Charters reclaimed the Rhode Island state tautog record with a 23.94-pound fish, measuring 33.5 inches in length with a 24.5-inch girth. The angler was Vlad Vaynshteyn of New Jersey – a regular client aboard MacLeod’s boat. “That part matters,” MacLeod said. “Repeat clients mean repeat results. This wasn’t a fluke.” Both the 2021 and 2025 record fish were caught using locally sourced white crab, also known as sand crab – a bait rarely available through local shops. “During tog season, I trap my own crabs,” MacLeod explained. “If you want premium results, you need premium bait.” Why it keeps happening on Tall Tailz Charters MacLeod’s reputation isn’t built on a single fish. It’s built on volume, discipline, and endurance. Each year, he typically runs: 15-20 tautog trips in the spring Approximately 75 trips in the fall, weather permitting Fall tog season is relentless. MacLeod often fishes 30-40 consecutive days before weather allows a break. “Those rare off days aren’t rest days,” he said. “They’re maintenance days. Boats, gear, everything has to be perfect.” That attention to detail has made Tall Tailz Charters a destination for serious anglers. Newport: The Holy Grail – and the captain who rules it Newport, Rhode Island is widely regarded as the Holy Grail of tautog fishing in the Northeast. Heavy structure, tidal flow, and pressure make it one of the most challenging fisheries in the region. MacLeod thrives there. “Fishing here exposes mistakes fast,” he said. “If you don’t know what you’re doing, the fish will tell you.” By reclaiming the state record in 2025, MacLeod cemented his standing as Rhode Island’s top tautog charter captain – not by chasing hype, but by executing at the highest level, year after year. More than a record For MacLeod, the significance of breaking the record twice goes beyond personal recognition. “It shows what’s possible when preparation meets opportunity,” he said. “Anyone can have a good day. Not everyone can repeat it.” Tall Tailz Charters’ record-breaking fish weren’t accidents. They were outcomes. And in Rhode Island tautog fishing, no one has proven that more clearly than Captain Connor MacLeod.

Cambridge, United Kingdom, January 2026. Leadership researcher and technologist Aravind Sakthivel announces the release of his new book, The Leadership Trap: Why Smart Leaders Fail and How to Break Free, available worldwide on Amazon from February 2026. The book is the result of a multi-year study of globally documented leadership failures, drawing exclusively on public information, including congressional investigations, regulatory reports, court filings, academic research, and long-term media analysis. Rather than relying on personal experience or internal corporate access, the book synthesises patterns found across some of the most widely reported organisational crises of the past three decades. A research-driven framework based on global cases The Leadership Trap identifies six systemic traps that repeatedly appear in large-scale leadership failures across industries and geographies. These traps are derived solely from publicly documented cases and cross-industry research. All company and individual names are changed to ensure the focus remains on leadership patterns and system failures rather than on specific organisations. Illustrative cases include the Stratford Aerospace Horizon 900 crisis, the Atlantic Foods capability collapse, the FlexSpace IPO breakdown, and the innovation failures at Apex Industrial. These cases are used because they are extensively documented in the public domain, allowing readers to examine recurring failure patterns without relying on confidential or proprietary information. “These patterns are not speculative,” says Aravind Sakthivel. “They are visible in the public record. What has been missing is a coherent framework that explains how these failures form, why they remain invisible to leaders, and how they can be prevented before damage becomes irreversible.” The six leadership traps The book outlines six recurring traps: Echo Chambers, where truth fails to reach decision makers Cost Cutting Illusions, where short term savings erode long term capability Leadership Absence, leaving organisations directionless during crisis Innovation Theatre, where activity replaces outcomes Fortress Cultures, where loyalty is rewarded over performance Metric Mirages, where dashboards hide underlying deterioration The three systems that prevent failure Alongside the traps, the book introduces three practical systems: the Challenge System, the Capability System, and the Cadence System. Together, these form an operational architecture leaders can use to prevent traps from forming or to reverse them once they appear. Each system includes diagnostic tools, weekly and monthly health checks, and documented escape routes grounded in public examples from resilient organisations, including Titan Industries, Southwest Airlines, and Microsoft. What readers gain Readers will gain: An evidence-based diagnostic framework Practical tools that can be applied immediately Public case studies showing how traps form and how they are reversed A 90-day implementation roadmap A research-backed model suitable for use across sectors About the author Aravind Sakthivel is an author, technologist, specialising in the intersection of AI, leadership behaviour, and organisational psychology. With more than 22 years of global technology leadership experience, he has served as CIO in complex multinational environments. Based in Cambridge, United Kingdom, Aravind’s research focuses on why intelligent, high-performing leaders fall into predictable organisational traps and how those failures can be prevented through system design rather than individual heroics. His framework, The Leadership Traps, provides a practical lens for diagnosing leadership decline and restoring organisational health. He holds an MBA from Nyenrode Business Universiteit and has completed executive education at Harvard Business School.  Book details Title: The Leadership Trap: Why Smart Leaders Fail and How to Break Free Author: Aravind Sakthivel Release Date: 3rd Ferbuary 2026 Formats: Print and Kindle Publisher: Amazon Website Media, interviews, and speaking For interviews, review copies, or speaking invitations, contact: Aravind Sakthivel Cambridge, United Kingdom Website LinkedIn

Sylwia Krawczyszyn works with people who have tried almost everything, yet still find themselves looping back to the same physical or emotional patterns. Rather than treating symptoms as problems to eliminate, she approaches them as signals that point toward something deeper that hasn’t yet been met. Her perspective is shaped not only by professional training, but also by her own lived experience of severe chronic illness and years spent searching for answers that actually last. Her work sits at the intersection of subconscious patterning, embodied awareness, and energy-based modalities. Drawing on Compassion Key®, Quantum-Touch®, and a background that bridges analytical thinking with lived, somatic experience, she helps clients reconnect with their inner technology, an innate capacity for regulation, healing, and choice that was never broken, only muted. She is not interested in surface-level fixes, bypassing, or outsourcing responsibility to a method or a healer. Instead, she works with awareness, resonance, and readiness. The focus is not on becoming someone new, but on unlearning long-running imprints, including beliefs, nervous system responses, and identity patterns that quietly shape how life is experienced day after day. Sylwia Krawczyszyn, Subconscious Healing Guide Who is Sylwia Krawczyszyn, and what inspired you to start your self-development journey? I like to describe myself as a mixture of an archetypal Rebel, Magician, and Artist. I offer guidance in the self-healing process, but I'm also a bit of a computer geek who loves thunderstorms and heavy music, especially progressive metal and hardcore punk. I definitely don't wish to be seen as a guru or even a healer, because I believe the only guru and healer you need is the one already inside you. The first steps of my self-development journey happened about ten years ago, when I started learning mindfulness and yoga. I found both very helpful for managing stress while entering my professional career in the demanding VFX industry. The deeper dive began a couple of years later when I went through Topical Steroid Withdrawal, and my health declined so dramatically that I was afraid to look in the mirror. I struggled with pain and extreme discomfort for about a year, completely unable to work. This is when I started looking into unconventional ways of healing that produce real results. I tried numerous different approaches, including diets, detoxes, affirmations, natural remedies, acupuncture, miracle programs, and quantum manifestation. Despite all this effort, my skin continued to be reactive, chronically inflamed, and dry, even several years after the TSW. Everything changed when I dug deeper and resolved subconscious patterns that were causing the skin issues in the first place. Today I am delighted to say I'm about 95% eczema free. I finally feel comfortable in my body and have stopped worrying about looking "perfect" when being seen by other people. I haven't had major flare-ups for several months now and continue to improve with this work, and that includes other areas of my life, not just my skin. How would you describe your approach to personal transformation and growth? I'm all about "Doing It Yourself". I believe I am the only person who truly knows what's best for me. I don't like to rely on external means, be it wellness hacks, hi-tech gadgets, even an organic diet or herbal medicine, because I consider these to mostly address symptoms and not the actual causes of our issues. I'm particularly interested in methods that are practical and easy to use in the mess of everyday life. Deep down, I've always known that the most advanced technology on Earth is already within us. The fact that science doesn't necessarily understand everything about it doesn't mean we can't use it. Quite the contrary. And I'm definitely one of those people who has experienced this firsthand with my own healing and continues to see it in the incredible shifts my clients report. What key principles guide your work with clients? First and foremost, I do not aim to create repeat clients. I would rather give you the fishing rod than a bucket of fish, meaning I’m happiest when you apply what you've realised and learned while working with me on your own, instead of coming back for help every time. Of course, that being said, I would never leave you without advice or ignore your messages. If you need me, I'm here, even outside of 1:1 session work. It's quite likely I will point you towards the ways you can be of support to yourself, simply because I find this the most beneficial in my own healing. I also only work with people who are ready to accept full responsibility for their lives. This requires a certain amount of courage and an understanding that we are never truly victims of our circumstances, or enough frustration with the life you're living right now that you're open to such a possibility. Last but not least, your safety is of great importance to me. If I feel I won't be able to help you, I will recommend someone who is better suited to your needs. I have some really amazing therapists in my network. How do you help individuals uncover their true potential and unlock lasting change? It all comes down to contacting what I call our True or Highest Self. This is the unique part of us that is not touched by trauma or limiting beliefs. It holds our greatest potential and knows exactly what we're meant to achieve in this lifetime and what we need to learn to get there. Lasting change is a direct result of: trusting and allowing this part to lead us, even if what it asks seems scary or illogical, and especially when this doesn't seem available, meeting those other, fragmented aspects of ourselves that keep us stuck in emotional or mental loops. These may be wounded inner children, or even versions of ourselves from different lifetimes that experienced some kind of traumatic event. Both of these are key elements of my 1:1 subconscious healing sessions. Can you share an example of a transformation story from your clients that really stands out? A client came to me feeling completely stuck in life. He worked a job he hated and lived with his parents, who didn't understand him. He had tried rounds of psychotherapy and even taken medication, but didn't feel it was of much help. During our session, he contacted the part of himself still in his mother's womb, at the exact time when his parents considered abortion. It was truly remarkable to see him offer love and compassion to this little version of himself. I asked him to take this into his everyday life and continue to offer the loving support that this part had needed for so long. It's mind-blowing how much information our subconscious mind stores. Obviously, this isn't something a person would readily remember. Yet he was able to access this memory, and after the session, he said he felt incredibly light, as if he'd just shed a massive weight he wasn't even aware of. About a month later, when I asked how he was doing, he was about to move to a big city and start a new life. Even if the session didn't do it all for him, it certainly seems like it unlocked something and gave him the courage to take that step. He was shaken but very excited. What common challenges do your clients face, and how do you help them overcome them? Just like me, most of my clients have tried many therapies, workshops, retreats, and techniques, both conventional and alternative. Despite all these efforts, their life remained the same and their problems persisted. This often shows up as chronic illness or pain, exhaustion even after resting, or being unable to truly rest or sleep. It can also look like feeling stuck in an unsatisfying life, chasing too many passions at once, and never completing anything meaningful. They may feel afraid of being seen or judged by others, or completely stuck in believing they can never heal, conceive, find a partner, or discover their life’s purpose. More often than not, a major underlying issue is not feeling worthy of love or of living a beautiful, abundant life. The number of things in our lives that stem from unresolved trauma and long-running imprints is staggering. Often, we don’t remember these experiences or see how they relate to our current struggles. This is the focus of my 1:1 work. I help people safely go deep enough to gently dissolve the roots of what’s stopping them from feeling whole, healthy, joyful, and at ease. How do you tailor your approach to meet the unique needs of each individual you work with? My sessions have a certain structure that helps them be precise and effective, but each session relies first and foremost on the information given to me by the client. I use my intuition and certain digging deeper techniques only when the client, or their wounded aspect, is reluctant to share information. Otherwise, the session is led entirely by their own experience and interpretations of subconscious imagery. In this way, each session is unique and will look and feel different every time. My task is to be neutral and regulated, to listen closely to whatever unfolds in the client's mind's eye, while also making sure they feel safe and remain at a comfortable distance from anything that may be too emotionally overwhelming. When it comes to booking sessions, I like to first discuss the challenges my client is experiencing. This helps us decide if working together may be a good fit, and whether one session or a package of sessions would be best suited to their situation. It's never one-size-fits-all. "The Return" package comes with a pre-recorded self-healing meditation that can be used whenever needed, and it also includes a money-back guarantee. If nothing shifts after 2 sessions, I'm happy to refund the full investment. What role does mindset play in the transformation process, and how do you cultivate it with your clients? For me, this work produces the greatest shifts when I’m regulated, grounded, and not overly emotionally invested. I cultivate this state through breathing and body awareness practices that I use both in everyday life and during sessions. It’s similar for my clients. Feeling safe and balanced is essential, which is why subconscious healing sessions always begin with grounding and nervous system regulation. From there, most clients naturally access a calm, spacious state connected to their True Self, which tends to deepen as the session unfolds. Another key element in this work is self-compassion. While it may sound too simple, it’s one of the most powerful self-healing tools available once people learn how to access it without judgment or force. What tools or techniques do you use to guide your clients towards their goals? The main tool I use is Compassion Key®. It shares certain similarities with hypnotic regression. However, it doesn't require hypnosis at all, and personally, I find it much more effective, quicker, and less heavy on the system. It relies on the client's somatic experience, subconscious imagery, and a precise use of specially formulated self-compassion mantras in order to access and dissolve dissonant emotional loops and limiting beliefs. My secondary tool is Quantum-Touch®. This is an energy healing modality that ensures a coherent and stable frequency field, supporting the client's self-healing mechanisms. I use it during all my Compassion Key® sessions to balance myself and the client, but I also offer it as separate mini sessions for energy boosting, alignment, and restoration. It's especially useful to weave between the deeper, more emotional CK sessions, but also very effective for many acute problems and skeletal misalignments. I'm officially certified in both of these techniques. What would you say to someone who feels stuck and unsure of where to begin their personal development journey? Notice your emotional triggers. What makes you feel sad, angry, frustrated, or fearful? These are great starting points. If you can't sleep, notice what kind of thoughts come to your mind as you're lying in bed. More often than not, things we don't like about other people resonate with certain parts we don't like about ourselves. Start taking note of these. For example, write them down along with associated emotional states in your private journal. Observe which patterns are especially present in your life. Try not to run away from or drown out difficult feelings. What you resist, persists. Be curious and always very gentle with yourself. If you catch yourself judging the way you feel, take note of that as well. It may seem contradictory at first, but the more presence and compassion you give to those aspects of your being, the less they're going to run your life. If you're interested in working with affirmations, you may want to check this guide   on how to use them most effectively . How can potential clients start working with you, and what can they expect from the process? I currently offer single subconscious healing and energy healing sessions, as well as a package of 8+3 sessions called "The Return ", which I briefly mentioned before. You can find more details on this website . If you're considering booking a package, I will first ask you to attend a free 20-minute Resonance Call, so we can both get to know each other and explore whether this could be the right way forward. Expect the unexpected. Many sessions are surprising. Most produce unforeseen improvements in my clients' lives, such as loved ones or co-workers behaving differently towards them, or being able to sleep more deeply than ever before. All are great opportunities to create the change you want to see in the world. This work is definitely not just about you. Whatever you alchemise inside yourself heals in the collective as well. If you feel the call, I would be honoured to hold space for your unique journey. Reach out via Instagram or email me here with any questions and booking requests. Follow me on  LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Sylwia Krawczyszyn

Written by Debra Whitson, Attorney, Mediator, Certified Divorce Specialist™ For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence. The new year has long been associated with fresh starts, personal reflection, and major life decisions. In family law, January consistently emerges as one of the busiest months for divorce inquiries, a phenomenon often referred to as the “January effect.” While popular culture sometimes portrays this as impulsive or emotionally driven, the reality is far more nuanced. For many individuals and families, the new year represents a moment of clarity after months or years of internal deliberation. The decision to divorce is rarely sudden, instead, it is often the result of extended reflection, compounded by the emotional intensity of the holiday season and the natural reset that comes with a new calendar year. Understanding why the new year prompts so many to take action and how to approach divorce strategically during this period can make a meaningful difference in outcomes. Why divorce filings rise in the new year Several factors contribute to the seasonal increase in divorce consultations and filings: Emotional visibility during the holidays: The holidays often magnify underlying marital issues, making conflict, disconnection, or dissatisfaction more difficult to ignore. A desire for stability: Many couples delay action during the holiday season in an effort to preserve family traditions or avoid disrupting children’s schedules. Once the holidays conclude, there is often a renewed focus on long-term stability. Financial clarity: Year-end financial planning, tax considerations, and bonus cycles can provide individuals with a clearer picture of their financial position, enabling more informed decision-making. Psychological momentum: The new year is culturally associated with change. That momentum often gives people the emotional resolve to take steps they have been contemplating privately. Rather than being impulsive, many January divorces are the result of months of careful thought. Divorce as a strategic life decision, not a reactionary one One of the most persistent misconceptions about divorce is that it is driven primarily by emotion or failure. In reality, many individuals approach divorce as a strategic decision about the structure of their future, particularly when children, long-term financial planning, or complex assets are involved. From a legal perspective, divorce is not simply about ending a marriage. It is about: Redefining financial independence Establishing long-term parenting frameworks Protecting assets and earning capacity Creating stability in a new family structure Approaching divorce with intention, rather than urgency, is critical. The early decisions made, sometimes before formal filing, often shape the trajectory of the entire case. Uncontested vs. contested divorce: Understanding the landscape Not all divorces follow the same path. Broadly, cases fall into two categories: Uncontested divorce, where parties are able to reach agreement on key issues such as property division, support, and parenting arrangements. Contested divorce, where disputes require negotiation, litigation, or court intervention. Many cases exist somewhere between these two extremes. What matters most is not the label, but the strategy employed. Early legal guidance can help: Preserve negotiation leverage Avoid common procedural mistakes Prevent unnecessary escalation Protect long-term interests This is particularly important in the new year, when court calendars, financial planning, and parenting schedules are being reestablished. The impact of divorce timing on children and families For families with children, the timing of a divorce can be especially significant. The transition back to school after the holidays, the establishment of new routines, and the emotional rhythms of the academic year all factor into how children experience family change. Research and practical experience both indicate that children benefit most from: Predictability Reduced parental conflict Clear communication Stable routines When divorce is handled with structure and foresight, it can mitigate disruption and provide children with a sense of security during a period of change. From a legal and practical standpoint, early planning allows parents to design parenting schedules, decision-making frameworks, and support structures that align with the child’s developmental needs and daily life. Why the approach to representation matters The legal representation chosen at the outset of a divorce can significantly influence both the process and the outcome. High-volume practices and generalized approaches may move cases efficiently, but they can overlook nuance, long-term impact, and individual family dynamics. Boutique family law practices typically emphasize: Case-specific strategy Direct attorney involvement Thoughtful negotiation approaches Long-term outcome planning This level of personalization is particularly valuable in cases involving children, closely held businesses, professional licenses, or complex financial arrangements. The new year as a natural point of transition From a sociological and psychological standpoint, the new year functions as a symbolic dividing line between “before” and “after.” For individuals in difficult marriages, that line often becomes the moment when internal uncertainty gives way to external action. Rather than viewing this as a seasonal trend, it is more accurate to see it as a reflection of human behavior, people seek alignment between their internal reality and their external life, and the new year provides a socially acceptable moment to pursue that alignment. Information as the first step One of the most important, and often overlooked, aspects of navigating divorce is the role of information. Understanding legal rights, financial implications, and procedural options empowers individuals to make decisions from a position of strength rather than fear. Consulting with experienced family law counsel does not commit someone to filing, it simply provides clarity. In many cases, that clarity alone reduces anxiety and creates a sense of control over the process. Conclusion: A deliberate beginning, not just an ending Divorce, particularly when initiated in the new year, is rarely about impulsivity. It is about resolution. It is about acknowledging what is no longer sustainable and choosing a different structure for the future. When approached with strategy, foresight, and professional guidance, divorce can be a constructive reorganization of family life rather than a destructive event. The new year, in this context, is not merely a date on the calendar, it is an opportunity to move forward with intention. Call us at 518-412-4111 today or visit our website to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can support you during a divorce matter. Follow me on  Facebook , Instagram , and visit my LinkedIn  for more info! Read more from Debra Whitson Debra Whitson, Attorney, Mediator, Certified Divorce Specialist™ For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence. Debra believes that legal battles are more harmful to families than helpful, and is passionate about helping people find ways to make their own decisions for their families, rather than leaving their outcomes in the hands of a stranger in a black robe. When court is unavoidable, Debra aims to educate and support people to make the legal process less costly, scary, uncertain, and stressful.

Written by Christopher A. Suchánek, Founder, Chief Strategy Officer, and Speaker Chris Suchánek is the Founder and Chief Strategy Officer of Firm Media, an award-winning national marketing agency specializing in helping plastic surgery, oral surgery, and med spa practices thrive. On Christmas Eve, I sat at a table surrounded by people I love and trust. We talked about our biggest breakthroughs of 2025. Not accomplishments. Breakthroughs. The moments we stopped betraying ourselves. The boundaries we finally honored. The truths we allowed ourselves to name out loud. The conversation was warm and safe, and it stayed with me long after the night ended. What struck me most was not what was said, but how it felt. There was no tension in the room. No careful navigation of topics. No unspoken rules. Just honesty, laughter, and the quiet ease that comes when you no longer disappear to belong. It made me realize how rare that feeling once was, and how much it says about the work required to arrive there. That night inspired me to reflect on what I finally stopped doing in 2025. I stopped believing that healing had to look dramatic to be real. I stopped waiting for a single moment that would explain everything or make it all make sense. What changed me happened quietly, in the spaces where I stopped abandoning myself to keep the peace. One of the hardest truths I faced this year is that healing often means grieving the family you needed while accepting the one you had. That grief is not dramatic. It is slow and disorienting. It shows up when you realize you were never asking for too much. I stopped blaming myself for that. I was asking the wrong people. I stopped believing unconditional love was something every family offered, even if imperfectly. In many families, love is conditional on one thing only, that you never outgrow the system. You can succeed, as long as your success does not threaten the story. You can heal, as long as your healing does not expose what everyone else worked so hard to hide. I stopped wondering why becoming whole felt so disruptive. Most families do not reject you for being broken. They reject you for becoming whole. I stopped thinking trauma was about a single event. It is an adaptation to unspoken truths in a family system. You learn who to be by reading the room. You learn what not to say. You learn which parts of yourself are inconvenient. Over time, survival becomes performance, and performance becomes identity. I stopped protecting the secret. The most damaging thing in a family is not the secret itself. It is the agreement to never name it. Silence becomes a rule. Loyalty becomes compliance. Love becomes something you earn by pretending you do not see what you clearly see. I stopped pretending the body was not keeping score. Those secrets do not stay in the past. They live in the body. Chronic tension. Hypervigilance. Anxiety that seems to have no clear source. Even when the mind forgets, the body remembers. I stopped being surprised by how hard healthy relationships felt. The quiet battle most people never see begins later, when someone who learned to survive tries to build a partnership. True partnership can feel foreign when you were taught that love requires self-abandonment. Safety can feel suspicious. Being chosen for who you are, not what you provide, can feel almost unbearable at first. I stopped minimizing the loss that comes with clarity. There are not many people who truly understand this struggle. It hurts to realize that some of the people closest to you never wanted you to win. They wanted you to stay small, stay quiet, stay loyal to the version of you that made their lives easier. I stopped believing that speaking the truth would fix the past. It does something far more important. It frees you from repeating it. This year, for the first time, I stopped dreading the holidays. I stopped rehearsing conversations that never happened. I stopped bracing for disappointment. I did what made me happy. I spent time with people who wanted what was best for me, not what was safest for them. And who knew it could be this simple. Not easy. Simple. I stopped waiting for permission to choose myself. Healing is not about confrontation or closure. It is about choosing yourself without apology. It is about surrounding yourself with people who celebrate your growth rather than fear it. It is about building relationships that do not require you to disappear in order to belong. The greatest shift for me this year was realizing that peace is not something you negotiate. It is something you protect. When I stopped betraying myself to maintain false harmony, something remarkable happened. The right people stepped closer. The wrong ones fell away. And for the first time, my nervous system got to rest. That is what I finally stopped doing in 2025. Not fixing the past. Not winning old battles. But abandoning myself to be loved. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info. Read more from Christopher A. Suchánek Christopher A. Suchánek, Founder, Chief Strategy Officer, and Speaker Chris Suchánek is the Founder and Chief Strategy Officer of Firm Media, an award-winning national marketing agency specializing in helping plastic surgery, oral surgery, and med spa practices thrive. With over 25 years of experience spanning the entertainment and specialty medical sectors, Chris has worked with iconic brands like Warner Bros., MTV, and EMI Music, earning international acclaim, including a Grammy Award with Brainstorm Artists International.

Written by Martin R. Mendelson, Executive Coach, Speaker, and Author Dr. Martin Mendelson transformed a medical disability into a mission to empower leaders. Founder of Metamorphosis Coaching and author of One Move Makes All the Difference, he helps professionals master mindset and create high-performing cultures. If you’ve ever looked at your accomplishments and quietly thought, I don’t belong here, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome shows up for capable, driven professionals more often than we like to admit, especially when we pause to reflect on where we’ve been and where we want to go next. What most people misunderstand is this: imposter syndrome is not a lack of confidence or proof that you’re unqualified. It’s a predictable thinking pattern that quietly influences how you feel, how you act, and ultimately the results you create. Once you understand that pattern, you can interrupt it. And when you do, everything begins to shift. What is imposter syndrome really? Imposter syndrome is often described as a lack of confidence or self-belief, but that description misses the mark. Many people who experience imposter syndrome are competent, accomplished, and respected in their fields. The issue is not competence. It’s interpretation. At its core, imposter syndrome is a mental habit of questioning one’s legitimacy, even in the presence of evidence to the contrary. Achievements are minimized, successes are attributed to luck or timing, and internal doubt carries more weight than external validation. Over time, this pattern creates a quiet but persistent tension between who you are and who you believe you are allowed to be. Why imposter syndrome often surfaces when you’re moving forward Imposter syndrome rarely appears when you are standing still. It tends to surface when you are stretching, growing, or stepping into something new. A promotion, a new role, a leadership opportunity, or even setting meaningful goals for the year ahead can all activate it. Progress creates visibility. Visibility creates evaluation. And evaluation can trigger old mental scripts that question whether you truly belong in the room. The irony is that the presence of imposter syndrome is often a sign that you are on the edge of growth, not evidence that you should pull back. This is why imposter syndrome often shows up in professional environments where growth, leadership, and increased responsibility intersect. The hidden pattern behind imposter syndrome Imposter syndrome does not appear randomly. It follows a consistent internal sequence that often goes unnoticed. A thought arises questioning readiness or legitimacy. That thought triggers an emotional response, which then influences behavior. Over time, those behaviors shape outcomes that seem to confirm the original doubt. Thoughts, where the imposter story begins Within the TEAM framework, thoughts form the foundation of leadership and performance. Not the loud, obvious thoughts, but the quiet assumptions that shape interpretation. Once accepted, they influence emotional responses and decision-making. Emotions, when thoughts start to feel like the truth From a neuroscience perspective, the brain responds to perceived threats as if they were real. Stress hormones increase, emotional reactivity rises, and logic becomes less accessible. This physiological response is why imposter syndrome feels convincing, even when it is not accurate. Actions, how imposter syndrome changes behavior Imposter syndrome often leads to overcompensation or avoidance. Some people overprepare and overwork, while others hesitate, delay, or avoid visibility. These behaviors can quietly limit growth and sustainability. Manifestation of results, how the pattern reinforces itself When actions are shaped by self-doubt, results tend to reflect constraint rather than potential. Missed opportunities, burnout, or stalled progress reinforce internal narratives, even when those narratives were never accurate. A TEAM reset, how to intentionally interrupt the cycle One of the most empowering shifts people can make when dealing with imposter syndrome is recognizing that the cycle does not need to be broken in only one place. It can be interrupted at several points, and even minor adjustments can change the overall trajectory. The TEAM framework offers language and structure for understanding this process. TEAM stands for Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Manifestation of results. Rather than viewing imposter syndrome as a confidence issue, this framework highlights how internal patterns quietly influence external outcomes. A TEAM reset focuses on awareness rather than correction. When individuals learn to notice where they are in the sequence, they gain options. A thought can be questioned. An emotional response can be regulated. An action can be chosen intentionally rather than reflexively. Each point of awareness creates space for a different outcome. This is why small, strategic shifts matter. One reframed thought or one intentional action taken despite discomfort can change how the entire pattern unfolds. In One Move Makes All the Difference, the TEAM framework is explored alongside reflective tools such as the Wheel of Life and gap-based exercises, helping individuals identify where patterns exist and where meaningful change can begin. One Move Makes All the Difference is available wherever books are sold and is published by Morgan James Publishing. Start your journey forward Imposter syndrome often convinces people that something about them needs to be fixed before they can move forward. In reality, progress begins when the experience is understood differently. When imposter syndrome is recognized as a pattern rather than a personal flaw, it becomes something workable. Awareness replaces self-judgment, and curiosity replaces avoidance. This shift alone can change how challenges, opportunities, and transitions are approached. For many professionals, having an external perspective helps accelerate that awareness. Coaching provides space to examine thinking patterns, emotional responses, and habitual behaviors with clarity and intention. It is not about telling someone what to do, but about helping them see what they may not notice on their own. If you would like to learn more about my work, coaching approach, and resources, you can explore them here . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Martin R. Mendelson Martin R. Mendelson, Executive Coach, Speaker, and Author After a medical disability ended his dental career, Dr. Martin Mendelson rebuilt his life with a mission: to help leaders thrive through mindset science and optimism. He is the founder of Metamorphosis Coaching, an international speaker, and a trusted coach to executives, entrepreneurs, and healthcare professionals. With certifications in executive coaching, emotional intelligence, and happiness studies, Martin brings both expertise and empathy to his clients. His TEAM™ framework helps professionals overcome overwhelm and cultivate high-performing, transparent cultures. He is also the author of One Move Makes All the Difference, a guide to making small yet powerful changes that lead to lasting results.

Written by Sam Kaur Evans, Emotional Intelligence & Legacy Mentor Sam Kaur Evans is an Emotional Intelligence & Legacy Mentor, bestselling author, and CREA Awards Winner 2021. Creator of the DIA:EQ™ Diagnostic of Infinite Ascension™, she equips high-performing women to lead with truth, conviction, and divine order in life, business, and legacy. In a world where AI dictates visibility, Sam Kaur Evans reveals why emotional intelligence and divine alignment will determine who truly leads in 2026. AI can write your copy, build your funnel, mimic your tone, and even finish your sentences. But it still can’t feel conviction. It can’t carry peace. And it definitely can’t discern truth under pressure. That’s why 2026 won’t be about who uses AI best; it will be about who stays human while using it. We’ve entered an era of Artificial Influence, where algorithms decide which leaders appear trustworthy. It’s efficient, impressive, and, if you’re not emotionally grounded, completely disorienting. I’ve watched brilliant women lose themselves chasing every new digital promise, jumping to the next shiny object, praying for a quick win. They run their content calendars like slot machines, chasing virality yet still feeling invisible. They try quick messaging hacks, viral hooks, and copy tricks, hoping to outsmart the algorithm. But it’s not working. They’ve learned the language of optimisation but lost the rhythm of obedience. They are building louder signals, not clearer ones, and confusion has become their normal. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV) Confusion about whether to use AI or avoid it only adds to the noise. The danger isn’t AI itself. The danger is emotional blindness while using it. The rise of artificial authority Brainz Magazine’s CEO, Caroline Winkvist, recently wrote about something called Generative Engine Optimization (GEO), a new layer of digital strategy where AI tools like ChatGPT, Gemini, and Perplexity decide who to recommend. Read it here . It is a brilliant concept, and a sobering one. When machines start curating credibility, the question becomes simple, “Who is shaping your signal, truth or trend?” You can train an algorithm to know your name, but if your message is built on performance instead of peace, if it is not your authentic voice grounded in faith and truth, it will disappear as quickly as the next update. Artificial authority may look polished on the surface, but it is hollow inside. It is visibility without integrity. And that is where DIA:EQ™ comes in. The DIA:EQ™ counterbalance DIA:EQ™, The Diagnostic of Infinite Ascension™, is more than a framework. It’s the human algorithm of discernment. It was born in silence, not strategy. After losing everything, I realised that true success isn’t built from ambition; it’s built from alignment. DIA:EQ™ teaches women how to govern their inner world so they can lead their external one with precision. It dismantles emotional interference, re-establishes divine order, and rebuilds identity around peace instead of pressure. AI may analyse data, but DIA:EQ™ discerns spirit, and that’s the one advantage no system can replicate. Because when you operate from emotional authority, your leadership becomes unhackable. The 2026 forecast, who wins Here’s what’s coming: Leaders who merge emotional intelligence with digital precision will rise. Those addicted to validation loops will drown in automation noise. Video and voice will become the new currency of trust. Peace and discernment will become the new SEO. The world is tired of overstimulated entrepreneurs shouting “authenticity” while secretly burning out. The ones who win in 2026 will be those who embody stability, the rare leaders whose energy feels safe in a chaotic feed. “AI will amplify what’s already in you. If chaos leads, chaos scales. If peace leads, peace multiplies.” Sam Kaur Evans That’s the frequency shift happening right now. YouTube, the human signal system If AI is learning who to trust by reading the internet, YouTube is your greatest weapon. Every video, caption, description, and transcript becomes a digital fingerprint, an energetic signature that AI learns to associate with your name. But the goal is not just consistency. It is coherence. That is why I created The YouTube Power System, a deep-dive experience where women learn to build not just a channel, but a signal. A platform that trains both people and algorithms to recognise your emotional authority and connect you with your true niche and audience. More visibility means more impact, and yes, more sales. YouTube doesn’t just reward views; it rewards clarity. And clarity is emotional intelligence in action. Here’s how you future-proof your visibility for 2026. Clarify your signal: Decide exactly what you want AI and your audience to learn from you. That is your core frequency. Your content is not random; it is your revelation. When every video, caption, and keyword points back to that same truth, the algorithm begins to recognise your stability. You are not teaching everything. You are embodying one thing, clearly. Codify your voice: Your voice is the pattern AI learns from. Consistency creates confidence, and confidence creates trust. Use clear titles, aligned language, and emotionally intelligent messaging. When your tone, values, and visuals stay coherent, AI and your audience both learn who you are. You become unconfusing. You become recognisable. You become the signal. Quantify your legacy: Legacy is not measured by likes; it is measured by alignment. Every piece of content must tie back to your core system, your method, your truth. AI links repetition with authority. Humans link consistency with integrity. When both align, your presence becomes unshakable. You are not just uploading videos; you are constructing the digital architecture of your legacy. The new wealth identity Wealth in this next era isn’t measured by numbers alone; it’s measured by stability. In a machine-led world, emotional mastery becomes the rarest currency. It’s what allows you to scale without splitting your soul. I know, because I’ve lived both sides. When I rebuilt my life and business from nothing, I stopped chasing visibility and started mastering peace. From that peace came clarity, partnerships, property ventures, and the ability to lead without leaking energy. That’s what DIA:EQ™ cultivates. That’s what AI can’t fake. “Machines can create content, but only conviction creates legacy.” Sam Kaur Evans The revival of the human signal As AI systems grow smarter, the world will crave something they can’t offer, presence. Real leadership will no longer be measured by the volume of your output, but by the integrity of your frequency. So, as we step into 2026, here’s the invitation: Let technology serve your truth, not shape it. Let AI amplify your order, not your overwhelm. Let emotional authority become the ultimate SEO, the Signal of Eternal Order. Because the future doesn’t belong to the loudest voice. It belongs to the most aligned one. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 (NIV) Connect Explore DIA:EQ™, The Diagnostic of Infinite Ascension™, here , and join The YouTube Power System to future-proof your voice, visibility, and legacy for 2026 and beyond. Subscribe to my YouTube channel , where emotional intelligence meets the new era of digital leadership. Follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram ,  and  TikTok  for more info! Read more from Sam Kaur Evans Sam Kaur Evans, Emotional Intelligence & Legacy Mentor Sam Kaur Evans is an Emotional Intelligence & Legacy Mentor who turned personal grief into a global movement for truth-led leadership. After losing everything and walking through deep healing, she shut down her six-figure business in obedience to rebuild from divine order. From that surrender came the DIA:EQ™ Diagnostic of Infinite Ascension™, a system merging emotional intelligence with spiritual alignment to restore clarity, conviction, and peace to high-performing women. A two-time bestselling author and CREA Awards Winner 2021, Sam is redefining what leadership, wealth, and emotional authority look like in the next era. As CEO of Leoship Property Ltd, she proves that faith and precision can build both profit and purpose.

Written by Jean-Gabrielle Short, Clinical Director Jean Short is highly experienced in treating Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is the Clinical Director of Wise-Mind DBT Brisbane and Brisbane EMDR Clinic. At the beginning of each year, month, or even week, many people feel a renewed pressure to change. New Year's, birthdays, Mondays, and anniversaries are treated as symbolic reset points, carrying the expectation that motivation will suddenly appear and that long-standing emotional or behavioral patterns will loosen simply because the date has changed. For many people seeking therapy, this belief quietly becomes a source of shame. When change does not arrive on cue, it is often interpreted as a personal failure rather than an accurate reflection of how human change actually occurs. Emotional regulation, behavioral change, and identity development do not operate according to the calendar. They develop through repetition, practice, and time. Letting go of the calendar as a measure of progress can be the first meaningful step toward change that is realistic, compassionate, and sustainable. The myth of the fresh start Symbolic dates are appealing because they offer a sense of order and control. They suggest a clean break from the past and the promise of becoming a different person without carrying previous patterns forward. This idea is deeply embedded in cultural narratives about productivity, self-improvement, and success. From a psychological perspective, however, the nervous system does not reset at midnight. Emotional sensitivities, attachment patterns, coping strategies, and stress responses remain intact. When a sudden change is expected, the gap between expectation and lived experience often intensifies self-criticism, avoidance, or emotional collapse. In clinical practice, many people describe repeated cycles of recommitment followed by disappointment. Over time, this pattern can erode confidence in the possibility of change itself. How change actually happens Meaningful change is usually gradual and often subtle. It is shaped by small, repeated actions rather than decisive moments of motivation. Emotional regulation strengthens through repeated experiences of safety, containment, and choice. Behavioral change develops through practice in real-life situations, including moments where skills are applied imperfectly. Identity shifts emerge after people have responded differently many times, not after they decide to be different once. This pattern is explored in more depth in " Why Change Feels So Hard and How DBT Helps You Move Forward ," which outlines why sustainable change relies on skill development rather than motivation or symbolic turning points. When change is expected to be immediate, people often abandon the process too early. When change is understood as cumulative, it becomes more workable and more sustainable. 1. Stop waiting for motivation and start with structure Motivation is often treated as the prerequisite for change. From a DBT perspective, motivation is a state-dependent experience that fluctuates with emotional intensity, fatigue, stress, and context. Waiting to feel motivated before acting often results in cycles of recommitment followed by collapse, particularly when early efforts are met with discomfort or imperfection. Change is more reliably supported by structure than inspiration. Small, repeatable practices, such as pausing before responding, completing a brief daily check-in, scheduling skill practice into existing routines, or using reminders and cues, can create conditions for change even when motivation is low. Structure also reduces reliance on willpower, which is especially vulnerable when people are tired, overwhelmed, or emotionally activated. 2. Shift the focus from outcomes to responses When change is measured primarily by outcomes, progress can feel invisible. Outcomes are influenced by factors outside our control, including other people’s behavior, environmental stressors, and physiological vulnerability. A more sustainable focus is the quality of your responses when difficulty arises. Noticing that you paused instead of reacting, repaired more quickly after conflict, asked for support rather than withdrawing, or returned to a skill after forgetting it are all meaningful indicators of change. These responses reflect increasing capacity, even when outcomes remain imperfect. Over time, consistent changes in response patterns tend to shape outcomes as a secondary effect. 3. Understand emotional regulation as a capacity that develops Emotional regulation is often misunderstood as a decision to feel differently. In reality, it is a capacity that develops through experience. For many people, intense emotional responses have been present for years or decades and were once adaptive. They may have helped someone survive, cope, stay alert to danger, or maintain attachment in unpredictable environments. Because of this, emotional patterns tend to be deeply ingrained. Regulation emerges when people learn to notice emotions earlier, tolerate discomfort for longer, and respond with skill rather than urgency. This approach reflects " Beyond the Skills: The Comprehensive Understandings of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy ," where emotional regulation develops through repetition, therapeutic relationships, and lived experience rather than quick behavioral fixes. Expecting emotions to disappear quickly often reinforces frustration and self-blame. A more workable approach focuses on how emotions are met and responded to over time, including how you recover after emotional intensity, how you relate to your internal experience, and how quickly you return to skills when things go off track. 4. Practice new behaviors in the same contexts where old ones appear Insight alone rarely leads to behavioral change. Understanding why a behavior exists does not automatically make it easier to change, particularly when the behavior functions to reduce distress quickly. New responses must be practiced in the same environments where old patterns are triggered, including situations involving conflict, perceived rejection, exhaustion, or uncertainty. Importantly, practice includes attempts that do not go well. Each attempt provides information about what escalated emotion, what skills were difficult to access, and what supports might help next time. Over time, this information supports refinement, flexibility, and confidence. Behavioral change becomes more reliable when it is treated as practice rather than performance, and when setbacks are interpreted as data rather than proof of failure. 5. Reduce shame through mindfulness non-judgmentally One DBT skill that strongly supports sustainable change is mindfulness non-judgmentally. This involves observing thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and urges without labeling them as good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure. Judgment intensifies emotional distress by activating shame-based threat responses such as avoidance, self-attack, appeasement, or emotional numbing. Non-judgment creates space. It allows experiences to be noticed accurately without escalation, which makes it easier to choose a response rather than being pulled automatically into familiar patterns. This dynamic is discussed further in Emotional Vulnerability and Self-Invalidation in DBT , where shame and self-judgment are understood as significant barriers to returning to skills after setbacks. Practicing non-judgment does not mean approving of harmful behavior or abandoning the desire to change. It means naming what is present without adding unnecessary layers of criticism. For example, “I am feeling overwhelmed, and I want to withdraw” is a radically different internal stance from “I am hopeless, I never improve.” The first supports skill use. The second fuels collapse. 6. Allow identity to change as a byproduct, not a goal Identity does not shift through intention alone. It develops through lived experience and accumulated evidence. People begin to see themselves differently after responding differently many times. In therapy, this is often one of the most overlooked aspects of change, because it happens quietly and often later than people expect. Clients frequently notice identity change retrospectively. They realize they paused longer than they would have before, recovered more quickly after emotional intensity, or acted in line with their values during difficulty. Allowing identity to evolve naturally reduces pressure and supports more stable self-trust. Rather than trying to “become” someone new through force, identity shifts when repeated actions provide credible evidence that you can cope differently than you once did. Letting go of the calendar as a measure of progress When progress is measured against the calendar, meaningful change can be overlooked. Subtle shifts in response, recovery, and self-respect often matter more than dramatic resolutions. The calendar can be used as a prompt for reflection, but it is a poor measure of whether your nervous system has learned new patterns. Therapy is not about becoming a new person overnight. It is about building capacity over time. Each moment of awareness, each return to a skill, each attempt to repair, and each decision to respond with care contribute to change, even when it feels unremarkable. Start your journey today If you find yourself caught in cycles of recommitment followed by self-criticism, you are not alone. Many people seek therapy not because they lack insight or effort, but because change feels harder than expected. Support can make a meaningful difference when progress feels slow, when shame is loud, or when old patterns reappear at the exact moments you most want to do things differently. Dialectical Behavior Therapy offers a structured, evidence-based approach to building emotional regulation, behavioral flexibility, and self-trust over time. If you would like to learn more about working with me, you can visit here . You do not need to wait for a new year or a symbolic turning point. Meaningful change begins with the next small, workable step, repeated over time, within the right kind of support. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Jean-Gabrielle Short Jean-Gabrielle Short, Clinical Director Jean Short is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Clinical Director of Wise-Mind DBT Brisbane and Brisbane EMDR Clinic. She specialises in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Eye-Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), and trauma-informed practice. Jean is completing postgraduate study in Sexology, deepening her understanding of identity, sexuality, and relational wellbeing. Her work integrates compassion, evidence-based treatment, and social justice values to support clients in rebuilding their lives.