Ciara is an accomplished mindset and peak performance coach, working with professionals and corporate leaders on a global basis to deliver transformational growth. Ciara's mission is to see people THRIVE and not just survive. She believes that people can reach their full potential in a way that promotes their mental stability and their happiness. Ciara is the Director of Liston Ferry Partnership Ltd, a company leading in the field of successful professional, personal and corporate transformations. Ciara coaches ambitious professionals and entrepreneurs to identify beliefs that are holding them back and permanently shift them, unlocking their strategies for change and propelling them to action. She also works with forward-thinking Corporations to put in place programs to support more women to reach the top and improve mindfulness throughout the workplace. Ciara draws on her Psychotherapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming training in her coaching practice, on top of her personal experience as a corporate high-flier turned business owner, wife, and mum! Ciara Banerji, Peak Performance Coach Tell us a little about yourself, Ciara. I’m a mindset, and peak performance coach, mum, avid music fan, and sports fanatic…and I’m on a mission to help women truly thrive: breaking through glass ceilings to reach their true potential without compromising in any area of life. I truly believe that we can have it all! The key is unlocking the power of the mind to identify your purpose and breaking down limiting beliefs to reveal strategies for growth that are aligned with that purpose. Once you reach that level of clarity and release, the newfound energy can be channeled towards success with consistent momentum. I absolutely love my one-to-one work with clients, and I revel in every success story - and I’m also a huge advocate for future-forward corporations with whom I work on a strategic level to invest in their female talent. What brought you to work as an executive life and career coach? Since the mid-2000s, I have been coaching and recruiting senior executives in the corporate worlds of oil and gas, tech, and consulting. Over that time, I learned how building people’s confidence had a direct impact on their results. Results I just absolutely loved being a part of. I identified patterns of underlying beliefs that were holding highly talented people back from the senior posts they so richly deserved. Without stereotyping too much, there were notable consistencies between the issues that came up for women, and somewhat different themes present for men. Still, it was clear to me that the difference between those that thrive, and those that survive or are struggling, was not capability but a mindset. And I firmly believe that people can reach their potential in a way that promotes their mental stability and happiness, and without paying the price in their home life or relationships. So I created my own high-performance coaching technique (the LFP framework), which I use in consulting with my clients globally to reprogramme limiting beliefs, build new mental blueprints, and actively propel them to take action towards their goals. At the same time, I’ve taken my own journey of personal growth to be where I am today. From a young age, I was taught the power of the mind and excelled in the fields of music, sport, and academia from a foundation of setting a vision and working hard towards that goal, building belief along the way. I have always been around very successful people, with both my parents and my husband (with whom I have played a major part in his leadership development over the past 11 years) holding C-Suite positions in global organizations. I want to see the badge of burnout taken off the corporate jacket and for women to have the tools to solve what I call the “Rubik’s Cube of life”. I have also experienced my own career twists and turns to lead me to where I am today. For example, just as I was due to begin a role as a Partner in a well-known firm, I found out I was pregnant. I chose to be upfront even though I was only 7 weeks pregnant at the time, largely because the company had sold family values as one of its core principles. To my shock, on hearing my news the four male directors strongly discouraged me from coming on board. I was fortunate: I walked away and channeled my disappointment into action by creating my own business. However, this discrimination is probably one of my biggest drivers to be an agent for true, long-lasting, breakthrough change for women. I also had to learn to commit to trusting on a deeper level than I had ever known after the loss of my second daughter during full-term childbirth. I believe it’s my responsibility to use my voice and teach others how to use theirs toward their dreams because she - and sadly, so many others - are not given that opportunity. I’m Irish by birth, Aussie by upbringing and I’ve also lived in India before settling in London, so I’ve learned to see from a wide range of perspectives - and I’m so pleased I get to serve so many clients internationally. Today! Most of all, I love to bring sparkles of joy and kindness to those around me: my precious family, friends, and clients. What is it that you do for your clients? Well, first, it is important to say that my transformation coaching is bespoke - not solely based on a one-size-fit-all video program - which means the content is always tailored depending on where my client is at, and the particular needs and goals they have. That said, my LFP framework is designed to take them on a journey in which they will uncover progress-limiting subconscious beliefs, completely shift them, build momentum and generate immediate, tangible life and business results. Unlike with some coaching, where theory is imparted, but you are left to your own devices to apply it, my coaching is exceptionally action-oriented, and I actively support clients to take clear implementation steps between sessions. For those on my more career-focused peak performance program, mindset work is complemented with an incredibly effective system to get my clients mastering their career story and out-perform in the recruitment and interview processes. This comes in handy for the entrepreneurs that I work with also when they start to scale their companies, as recruitment is a very costly thing to get wrong. I’m so proud of the results my clients obtain, often before coaching has even been completed. For example, 90% of my 2020 coaching clients secured promotions, new roles, or significantly grew their own business, and every single one of them described having shifted limiting beliefs and improved confidence. Who should work with you? I tend to work with three kinds of clients. Firstly I work with entrepreneurs who know that they have greatness inside but are struggling with how to build their path to growth. They come to me to both improve their business results and also ensure they are supporting their personal happiness with their business journey. Quite often, they need to scale yet are afraid to delegate or have limiting beliefs about what impact they can truly make and therefore start self-sabotaging habits. I absolutely love working with entrepreneurs and helping them to exceed even their own expectations. Secondly, I work with senior professionals who know they want and can achieve more in life and are truly ready to stop excuses and take action required to get there. These are often executives that are excelling on paper but sense they are leaving something on the table. I will support them to make bold moves like stepping up further or discovering how they can contribute in wider ways to increase their impact satisfaction. Other times, they are successful professionals who are struggling to balance work, relationships, parenting, and passions and maybe experiencing stress or suffering as a result. I help them solve the Rubik’s Cube of life and to find harmony. Some of my most experienced clients have gradually become aware of how much of their authentic selves they may have buried in their career journey. I support them to continue performing whilst becoming true to themselves and their purpose. Thirdly, I work with forward-thinking- thinking committed corporations who want to see more women at the top and want women-specific leadership programs. I provide strategies to assist the CEO in getting a better gender balance through their management teams. Let’s dive into that a little - tell us about your framework and coaching approach. In developing my methods, I’ve been able to draw on training in Psychotherapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming as well as many years of experience to devise highly effective systems to deliver permanent change for my clients. However, I think it’s really important to point out that I’ve also walked the walk, as a senior female leader and business owner - and so I’m able to draw on my own experience as well as that of helping hundreds of professionals to reach the next level. In my view, strategies are very important, personal experience is essential, but passion… that’s the real magic ingredient! And I’m my clients’ biggest cheerleader. What is your big goal? Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Well, as I mentioned above, I’m passionate because I’m on a mission! In 10 years' time I plan to have helped thousands of professionals and entrepreneurs to reach their potential without sacrificing their mental health and personal life. After running successful businesses for the past 10 years myself - and living the benefit of that daily, I fully intend to spend the next 10 supporting others to live their dreams too! So my goal is to deliver the mental platform for success - for both corporate professionals and entrepreneurs, serving their markets, customers, or shareholders, by fundamentally supporting themselves. I also want to see more and more talented women reach their true potential and not fail because of a false belief instilled at a young age. I love the work that I do now, helping women overcome their obstacles and soar past what they thought they could aim for. But I would like to intervene at an even younger age to prevent some of the limiting beliefs from forming and build confidence from the get-go. So helping children and young girls develop an empowered mindset is something I’ve started working on with an amazing organization called Inner Wings. I would love to continue working in this space as it’s going to have a huge impact on all our futures. I also want to see far greater gender parity in the boardroom and Senior Management in general in my lifetime - and in particular for women leaders to feel empowered AS women in their own right. It’s therefore really important to me to grow my work with future-focused corporations that share that vision and are willing to invest in their female talent at all stages of their careers. I also fully expect to feel 10 years younger, ten years from now! ;-) It’s my firm belief that how you thrive in one area of your life is how you thrive in them all. I am unwavering in prioritizing my self-care, family life, and my passions for music, sports, and the outdoors, and I receive so much joy and love in return. What would be your biggest piece of advice for Entrepreneurs and Professionals for whom this really resonates? My most important tip is that getting out of your comfort zone is an absolute must if you are going to reach your potential. In my experience, getting into that place is uncomfortable, yes, but it can also be done with the deepest sense of trust and self-belief - and doing that consistently drives enormous change in the results, you will see, as you progress towards your goals. Not easy to do, but essential! And super exciting for me, as a coach, to witness and be a part of inspiring this journey for my clients. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Ciara!

Written by: Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. You might not even have heard of it, yet it has probably entered your life, posing a constant threat already. The dreaded BUT-Factor sneaks in and often takes over life before it kills potentially. It is deadly, it may create chaos, and it may kill. It may kill your dreams, your vision, your ASPIRATIONS . Your dreams of being healthier, having more meaningful relationships, more free time and flexibility, more impact, more courage, and a more fulfilled life. Not a life in default, but a vibrant Life by Design. As you may have guessed by now, it’s not a real virus or bacteria, yet it impacts people’s life big time. The threat is real. Let me share with you what I found doing research, working on my own personal growth, and working with thousands of clients and students over the last 40+ years. I identified 3 main “strains. Want to know what they are so that you can protect yourself better to not only survive but thrive? Strain No. 1 It’s too expensive. I don’t have the money. What’s the cost of not investing in yourself, in your growth, in learning new skills, getting a coach or mentor to fast track? What’s the cost of not having clarity, energy, courage, influence, to name but a few? Have you noticed saying this to yourself – “It’s too expensive”? I want you to know, I don’t criticize or judge you in any way as I don’t know your circumstances, but have you been saying this to yourself more often than not? Answer truthfully for yourself. Eating healthier doesn’t have to be more expensive than eating junk food. It comes down to making choices that will support you on your journey to managing your weight, generating enough energy to show up fully every day without burnout. Maybe you tell yourself you need to invest all the money in your kids, and your life has to be on the back burner. How can you give and support your loved ones if you yourself are not in good shape, physically, mentally, emotionally, and yes, financially? If you love to use this “excuse” of “I don’t have the money,” then probably this dream is not really important. “If it’s important, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse .” I know that this may sound harsh to many of you, but as a coach and mentor, it’s my obligation to tell you the truth, and I do it with integrity and full respect. A friend may tell you to want you to and want to hear. A great mentor will tell you what you need to hear. My mission is to empower, not only to inspire, and to share doable action steps. I had been struggling with this like many of you before I worked with a mentor. As a result, I chose to shift my mindset from closed to open. I got clearer on my mission and implemented the moves. If I can do it, you can do it. Strain No. 2 It’s not the right time. Really? When is the “right time”? Was it the right time for the prince to die prematurely and not to share his gift of music with more people for many more years? Was it the right time for Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, or maybe someone you know, a friend, acquaintance, a family member who passed way too early? When is the right time? It’s not after your kids have graduated, after you have lost weight after you have made a massive profit, because this time may never come. I don’t want to sound pessimistic; I want to give you a reality check, though. Here’s something to think about (learned this “exercise” from one of my mentors, Joel Bauer): Write down the current average life expectancy based on insurance feedback etc. If you are a man = 78, if you are a woman = 82 Distract your AGE Distract sleep say 4 years Tally= the years you may potentially have left on this planet. So, how much longer do you want to wait until it is “the right time”? Mind you, there may be potential hazards waiting, from inflammation, cancer, stroke, to name but a few, so the number of years left may be decreased even more. Vow, this may be an eye-opener to not postpone what’s important in your life. How much longer are you willing to use excuses? What would need to happen to start today to go for your big vision? What would you need to commit to? Strain No. 3 I have to consult with someone. This one is huge, isn’t it? Why would you need to consult with someone who doesn’t understand your vision, who doesn’t understand your innate drive and longing to be extraordinary and live like it every single day? I am not saying you can’t be extraordinary in some areas, but wouldn’t you agree that living an extraordinary life means leveling up in any area of your life in a doable holistic sustainable way This is a very important distinction I focus on in my High-Performance Coaching™ program. Question for you: Why would you listen to someone who dreams small? Why would you listen to someone who hasn’t done what you are about to do? What would you need to stop doing right now, today? What would need to happen for you to trust yourself? I want you to take the time, well, actually to make time and go through these questions. If you are not completely fulfilled, if you know there is more out there, more for you to step into your power, overcome those excuses and obstacles, turn them into steppingstones. It’s your life. It’s your responsibility. It’s your time to shine. It’s your time. Would it be useful, would you consider me helping you, holding your hand, on your journey to deal with the BUT-Factor™? You can try to figure it out yourself, or you can potentially save yourself a 15, 20, or even 30-year learning curve working with me as your coach and mentor. You can read inspiring articles all day long. What really moves the needle is you taking action. If you would like to be considered for my bespoke coaching to take your life to a whole new level, apply for your FREE 15 minute private VIP Clarity call via https://www.calendly.com/renateprandl-consultation-enquiry . If I feel we are a good fit , I may be inviting you to dive deeper. If I decide we are not a good fit, please don’t take this personally. You will still get lots of value from the consult as I take you very seriously. It doesn’t have to be me. It’s okay, but find someone, a coach or mentor, a sensei who cares as much as I do and who has done what you are about to do. “Excuses will always be there for you, opportunity won’t.” For more info, follow me on Facebook , LinkedIn , Instagram and visit my website . Read more from Renate! Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Renate Prandl is Asia's Premier Sustainable Life Mastery Strategist, Certified Feldenkrais® Expert, sports coach, mentor, and Certified High Performance(™) coach. With over 40 years of combined experience as a Professor in a business school and entrepreneur, Renate uses a variety of proven techniques and applications to help you reach your highest potential, get to the Next Level, and potentially live your Life by Design - in a holistic, doable and sustainable way. Her "Power of 3" systems help you turn obstacles into stepping stones and build Physical, Emotional, Financial Resilience. Renate is the CEO of Body & Brain, Founder of Body And Brain Mastery, International Bestselling Author of 3 books, and has lived on 3 continents. Her mission: Anything is possible.

Written by: John Kenny , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When you first meet someone, I am sure you have had a conversation with yourself and probably someone close to you, which will be something like ‘do they really like me?’ and ‘how do I know?’ There are signs that we notice, but others we can overlook. There are reasons why this may be the case, and one of them is that you are subconsciously ignoring the signs as you are not ready to connect yet. They may even be stopping themselves from just saying it as they don’t really know how to - are you brave enough to ask? This brief list gives you an idea as to whether someone likes you or not with a few caveats because we also know that people know how to make you think that they are interested, only to use information against you or back off somewhere down the line because of their avoidant style. Leaning Towards You and Maintaining Close Proximity When someone likes you, they have a tendency to subconsciously lean towards you when you are together. It creates a physical closeness that shows they want to be closer to you, are drawn into your energy and are attracted to you. If you find yourself moving away, it is a sign that you may not find them as attractive, and you feel your space is being invaded – you are not comfortable in their energy. This is an indicator that you shouldn’t ignore – it could be because you are subconsciously aware of something you need to back away from, or it could be your own avoidance mechanisms kicking in. They Remember Your ‘Small Stuff’ If someone remembers what you have said, no matter if just in passing and comes back to it in the future, then it is likely they are interested. They have clearly taken notice of what you have said, and it is a priority for them to remember it. Because of ‘selective filtering,’ your brain will allow space to recall things that are important to you. If your brain is telling you it is important, it is generally because you care about it – so the person is very likely to care about you. Caveat time – there are those who remember things about you because they see it as important to come back to later in order to use it against you. This obviously doesn’t relate to the small things, so if it is the small things and not the personal stuff you have shared, then you can rest assured they are interested. They Make an Effort to Converse If someone wants to get to know you some more, they will instigate conversation to find out what you are interested in, what you like to do, where you have been, and whatever else they can think of to keep the conversation going. This is one of the most common behaviors you’ll see when someone likes you. They are looking for things in common to see how compatible you are. This may not happen if someone is shy or struggles with self-worth and self-confidence, so don’t write them off if you like them. After a few meetings, they will open up and engage some more. If they don’t, then it is likely they are just not interested. If they keep making conversations about you, your past, and the difficult experiences in your life, or talk a lot about their own difficulties – red flag waved, walk away. They Show Curiosity Curiosity is an interesting thing; if you are not a cat, of course! When you become curious about something, you want to know more about it so you can understand the situation better. In a romantic context, this is amplified as your brain is searching to know more about why it has been triggered, and so it becomes wildly interested in the thing person that has triggered it. It will keep sending questions out in order to satiate that curiosity. The person interested in you will do the same and once they meet your friends is likely to ask them about you too! Note the caveat to this in the point above – be mindful of where their curiosity leads! They Will Smile – A Lot When someone is attracted to you, then they will make eye contact and smile. If you notice that they glance away and are still smiling, then they are definitely in a good space around you. When you are around someone, you are attracted to, the rate of smiling increases. Not only that, the smile is bigger, broader, and longer. Watch out for the wrinkles around the eyes, the raising of the cheeks, and the light in their eyes, all signs that the smile is genuine. Notice Their Energy Around You Being around someone who likes you has a physical impact on their state. It has the effect of making them nervous, and in this case, being nervous is a form of good stress. Adrenaline and other hormones will be released; your heart rate speeds up, pushing blood around your body, maybe causing blushing or even more perspiration. It is something people can’t help doing and will impact the energy they give off to you. It should feel like they are excited to be around you, but it could also indicate that they want to get away from you. Keep an eye out for the difference when taking the other factors I have mentioned into account. They Find the Time to See You and are Consistent In fact, they don’t just find the time; they make the time! This is a common indicator that they are interested and want to spend as much time with you as possible. The fact that they are consistent – turn up on time etc. is also a positive sign as it shows they are making an effort and really want to be there. This is very apparent when you first start dating or if someone in your friend group or at work likes you too. Is there someone who will always want to be where you are? Finds ways to see you? Makes time to talk to you? Be mindful of those who come on strong at the beginning, though, as they may have a type of avoidant attachment – wanting to be with someone, but when they get close, they become uncomfortable and back off. If they seem too keen at the start, this could be a red flag, f and you need to hold back a bit in case. You should be able to glean whether this is the case when you get round to talking about their past relationship experiences. To Summarize If you want to know if someone is interested in you and they don’t just come right out and say it, keep an eye out for the signs! They may not exhibit all of them, but a couple of them is a sign of wanting to get to know you. Remember that some people find it difficult to come forward, so if you like them, show them the signs instead. Or, just tell them. I know it can be difficult to do this if you struggle with acceptance or fear of rejection and want to create a little more certainty about someone before you let your feelings show, but seeing the signs will help you to establish whether you are safe to reciprocate or not. Do be mindful of the warning signs, too. Some people know what they want but won’t allow themselves to have it or have issues that mean they want you to be interested in them, just to get what they need. Take the pressure off of you — go out, have fun, relax, be yourself and see where the world of relationships takes you, having the idea of the person that you want in your life with you at all times. Be good to yourself, John For more info, follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn and visit my website ! Read more from Kenny! John Kenny, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine John Kenny is The Relationship Guy - relationship coach, author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme, documentary maker, and speaker. After living a life full of unsuccessful and toxic relationships, John has created Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC) to help successful singles who struggle with intimate relationships of their own. He has been in the field of personal development since 2004 and has helped thousands of clients to live the relationships and life that they choose, rather than the one they always have or feel they have to or should! John will not only help you to understand why you think, feel and do as you do, but also the intricacies of deeper human behavior.

Interview with Dr. Ferlin, Specialist in general medicine and Certified cosmetic injector Beauty treatments among men are becoming more and more popular, and we are increasingly seeing how men look for clinics to do treatments for both medical and cosmetic reasons. In July 2021, the law on aesthetic treatments enters into force, and we have contacted Dr. Ferlin, who is a specialist in general medicine. Dr. Ferlin has been a trained doctor since 2008, but with a great passion for beauty, he has been a certified injection doctor since 2013. After working in the field in both Norway, the Netherlands, and now also Sweden, he started Dr Ferlin Esthetic Clinic in 2020. "What has also increased interest for men may be a desire for less visible fatigue, smoother skin and relaxed tension." How common is it today for men to want to do botox®? We see more and more often that men have questions about muscle relaxant injections with Botulinum Toxinum A. Customers often use the word 'Botox®' which is the brand. It is becoming more common and we see that it is also easier for men to talk about their appearance. We now have the same number of treatments for men and women at our clinic. What differs for us is that it is also a group of "younger" men around the age of thirty who do treatments. What areas are popular with men? Is it different from women? Areas in which we see an increased interest are treatment for grinding teeth, sweat treatment and headache treatment. Some come for preventive purposes regarding wrinkles and then it is mainly the frown lines and forehead that are treated. It differs from women because men more often have a stronger muscle and need a higher dose or extra treatment on return visits. At the same time, we see that both men and women do treatments to achieve a better cosmetic result. Why do you think the interest has increased among men? Beauty treatments and aesthetic injections, such as Botox® and fillers, are a positive aid for both women and men for a healthier face. What has also increased interest in men may be a desire for less visible fatigue, smoother skin and relaxed tension. What we often hear is that they want to look fitter and fresher. It has also been shown in our research study that botox® treatments can also have a positive psychological effect and you feel better. Nowadays, information is more accessible online and through social media, which means that interest is greater and it is easier to read about other people's experiences. It seems that many people take care of their appearance, not only actors and athletes, but also friends around them. It is not as taboo to do botox® today, what do you think is the reason for that? Much depends on how society changes and that you see more people around you also take care of their appearance and are open and honest about it. It is obvious that it is perfectly normal to take care of oneself and one's appearance. How long does the treatment last? How long the treatment lasts depends on the treatment, muscle strength and dosage. Men with stronger muscles often need higher doses. On average, it can be said that toxins in the face last for 3 months, sweat treatments for 9 months and headaches around 6 months. However, each patient receives an individually tailored treatment plan and follow-up. What can botox® be used for more the beauty? It is mainly also for medical purposes such as migraines, spastic muscles or an overactive bladder. Before being treated with Botulinum Toxin A for migraines, you need a thorough examination and attempts with other medical treatments have failed. The treatment is only performed by a neurologist and a referral is needed*. Your doctor at the health center can help you with this. (*regulations may vary in different countries) How long does it take before I see results? After the treatment, it begins to feel that the muscles relax after 3 to 5 days. A complete result is visible after 14 days. With us at Dr.Ferlin, we always book a follow-up after 14 days to evaluate the result and, if necessary, do a 'touch up' at no extra cost. Will botox® disappear completely if I choose to stop it? The toxin is broken down by the body and disappears completely if you choose not to refill. It is definitely an advantage that it does not stay in the body. If you treat wrinkles for preventive purposes, however, we recommend repeating the treatment every three months for better results. What is the difference between botox® and fillers? Botox® is a medical drug that contains Botulinum Toxin A that makes muscles relax. It can only be prescribed by a doctor. Botulinum Toxin A acts on the connection between nerves and muscles and prevents the release of a chemical messenger called acetylcholine from the nerve endings. This prevents the muscles from contracting. This muscle relaxation is temporary and gradually diminishes. "Popular areas to use fillers for men are tear trough, chin and jaw line." Fillers contain hyaluronic acid are a soft tissue filler that is injected into the skin at different depths to fill wrinkles or create face volume. Fillers bind water. Popular areas to use fillers for men are tear trough, chin and jaw line. What are the side effects of the treatment? Side effects rarely occur and what can be experienced is redness at the first hour and sometimes a little headache the first day. We go through all the side effects and things to think about before the treatment. Some examples may be to avoid alcohol on the day of treatment, not to massage the face and not to exercise. Can you tell us more about the new law on aesthetic treatments that came into force in July, 2021 in Sweden? The law contains provisions that only licensed doctors, dentists and nurses should be able to perform aesthetic injection treatments. The clinic must have a patient insurance and be registered with the Swedish Health and Care Inspectorate, IVO. It is also important that patients receive a consultation and reflection time of at least 48 hours before treatment. During the consultation, information is given about possible results as well as side effects / complications. What does a treatment cost? Prices can vary from SEK 2,500 up to SEK 10,000 depending on what kind of treatment and how large area is being treated. If you are interested in knowing more or have any specific questions, contact Dr Ferlin here: Instagram: dr.ferlin Website: drferlin.se BokaDirekt: Dr. Ferlin

Written by: Kimberly King, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. How to do a Fast and Complete Tick Check on Your Child That Keeps Your Body Safety Rules Intact. We are all heading outside this summer! Especially after being quarantined and confined for a big part of the year. But, don’t forget about those Lyme disease-carrying critters -ticks! Most of us know there are plenty of great prevention strategies to avoid getting bit by that tick . If you are going outside, have a pet, or play in the grass… wear socks and spray. If it is not too hot, wear pants! Always Shower or have a bath right after being outdoors, especially in the grass. You can find plenty of pesky ticks in the shower, before they fully attach to you. So… scrub, scrub, scrub! It’s always a good idea to do a TICK ✅ But, it is important to respect body boundaries and consent while you teach your child to tick check. Before you do a tick check with your child, do a quick reminder of what ticks are and where they hide. Kids need to know the why’s and the how’s of this important topic. Young children will need your help to check themselves. And once your kids are old enough, they can make tick checks a daily habit during the summer as part of their summer hygiene routine. For young children, try to remember: The shorter your child, the closer they are to the ground… and the ticks! Script: “Mom needs to do a tick check! You go first! Look at your body and see if you notice or feel any weird bumps, itches, or spots. These ticks are small! We might need a flashlight.” Help your little one look on their own first. Their eyes are better than ours! They may just find something. After your child does the self-check, you redo! “Great Job! Ok, mom is going to do a quick tick check too!” You can sing the tick check song and be done before the song is over! https://youtu.be/5xNMRwZkyAc You can start and the top! Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes… and all the other spots in between. 1. Start with the hair Run your fingers all through your child's hair, feeling the scalp - a trendy tick spot! Don’t forget the hairline at the nape of the neck. If hair is long, brush it out. 2. Check the ears Take a peek inside the ears, and look carefully behind the ears - this is another prime real estate spot. 3. Look under the chin, then under each armpit . 4. Look carefully down the front and back torso. 5. Check carefully around the legs, front and back. Even with little kids, it can be easy to just skip this step. But remember, most ticks jump on at ground level and crawl up your socks to warm places. If you feel concerned about checking the private areas, review the body safety rules. Always ask for consent to do a quick tick check. Explain what you are doing. If your child is old enough, they can tick check themselves with a flashlight and mirror. 6. Scan down each leg, front and back. 7. Toes and feet too! Top, bottom, and between toes. Yes, I've found ticks ALL OVER my kids when they were little. The worst was a diaper change post-hike in Connecticut! I will spare you the details! I have also missed a tick that looked like a freckle… until it started moving. No place can be taken for granted- even the belly button. That is why ticks are so terrible! They are so hard to see. ✅If you do find a tick and it's not yet attached, remove and flush. ✅If you find a tick and it has already bitten your little one try to be calm. Kids feed off of your fear. Be calm, be clear, and explain that you are removing the tick. ✅Grab the tick as close to the head as possible and pull it out. Use tweezers! Or, in a pinch, you can use duct tape. 👉Check the CDC page on prevention and removal. And learn the signs! Although that bullseye spot is what we all look for, sometimes the signs can be more subtle and include cold or flu-like symptoms, aches, and pains. For questions, concerns, resources, and support, please visit my website and follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or Linkedin. Read more from Kimberly! Kimberly King, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kimberly King, "The Safety Mom," is the author of the best-selling, most highly recommended book for children on prevention called I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping private parts private. Kimberly is a mom of three children, a survivor, a Sexual Abuse Prevention Facilitator with D2L.org, and a Sexual Assualt Crisis Counselor with The Rowan Center. ​She spends her time training adults and children on prevention strategies and sharing her expertise as a consultant, advisor, and media source. Her work has been featured in various magazines, podcasts, and blogs, including; NBC, Ticker News, The Chicago Tribune, Women’s Fitness, Child Mind Institute, Social Work Now, US News and World Report, The Health Journal, Modern Mom, PopSugar, Child Life Mom, Harvard Graduate School of Education, Thrive Global, Medium, Dads Divorce, Split, Sex Ed Rescue, Consent Parenting, Pretty Wellness Podcast, iHeart Radio, and is highly recommended as a resource by national prevention organizations. Please contact her directly for any media requests. Contact Kimberly King at 757-375-5020 or email her at Kimberlykingbooks@gmail.com. Reading Resources: https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/zoo/tick-workbook.pdf

Written by: Tina Paulus-Krause, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I’ve fallen into the trap (again) of taking on too much. Here I am again overcommitted. We all have one thing in common. We have 24 hours in a day. In the 24 hours we have, work consumes much of our time and energy. I love the weekends because they give me a chance to recharge and get myself ready for the next week. I’ve created really good habits, including using Sundays to prep my food for the week and doing meditation and exercise, a consistent part of my routine. Because these new habits made such a positive difference for me and because I still get off track, I created a Top 10 list of daily “non-negotiables”. Facts I hate to say no. I want to help everything and everyone. I want to be involved in it all. And, in the pursuit of it, I over-extend and end up letting people I love down. Ouch. Not my best self. I decided I needed to unplug for the weekend and get back to the center. Over time, I have started to really understand just how important this is. Solution I started my weekend off with yoga, and it wasn’t 5 minutes into the practice I realized that yoga was precisely what I was missing. I had been so “busy” that I slacked off. I spent the rest of the day reading, meditating, and journaling. Here’s the thing. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the important things or the good habits I’ve worked hard to create. These habits have changed my life. They keep me centered and whole. Every single person on this planet has one thing in common. We have 24 hours on any given day for as long as we are alive. When I think about living life on those terms, it changes my perspective. My list of non-negotiables has been a valuable tool. When something is not going right or feeling “off,” I go to this list. As I look down the list, I always know right away what is missing that is making me feel “off”. Non-negotiables on my top ten include drinking plenty of water, eating clean, saying positive affirmations, and doing yoga. I know that when I honor my non-negotiable list, I am creating happiness and operating from a solid place. When I was not feeling grounded, I remember my list, and what was missing was yoga and meditation, neither of which I had done all week due to being “busy.” Busy is an excuse. It’s not about being “busy.” It’s about priority and choice. We all define our priorities with the choices we make. Lessons Stick to my non-negotiable list…always! It’s what keeps me in balance and showing up as my best self. Stop overcommitting. Shake it off and do better next time. We are all constantly evolving. We all have 24 hours in a day. What Are Your Non-negotiables? If you haven’t written them down, please do that right now. You owe it to yourself…and to those you who love you. In Love, Light, and Leadership, Tina Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Tina Paulus-Krause, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tina is a captivating speaker, author of The Strength of our Anchors and the host of an award winning online show called Your Leadership Legacy. After 22 years in corporate, Tina took the leap and founded a leadership development company dedicated to helping leaders become stronger, healthier, evolved leaders. Her passion is transformational training, coaching and speaking, helping leaders transform their teams into the future of work. After a complete transformation of her own, Tina learned how to powerfully reprogram long held beliefs, change toxic habits and create sustainable results. Tina has made it her mission help leaders and teams dig deep and learn to empower themselves to reach their fullest potential.

Written by: Cheryl Whitelaw, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. As we age, balance becomes an issue. Before we feel the impact of our aging process enough to be afraid of falling, balance tends to be more of a quality-of-life metric, our work-life balance. Balance is a funny thing – we really only focus on it when we lose it. How do you know you are balanced? When you fall, you protect yourself. There is no time to make a plan, you react; your reflexes take over. You stop losing your balance when you reach a more stable shape, like hands and knees on the ground. Or you can recover it, coming back to an upright position. What do you imagine when you think about work-life balance? I conjure a kind of image of me holding two scales – work on one side and life on the other. When I am balanced, I stand tall, holding each side of my personal scale easily and well. When I am unbalanced, I am distorted as the work side, or the life side gets heavier, harder to hold. When one side stays heavy, it feels harder for me to find a position that feels right, harder to restore myself to an upright position, slower to recover. Even a binge night on the couch or a weekend of relaxation doesn’t restore my uprightness. I think that using balance as a way to measure the quality of our lives is a trap; one we will never escape. What’s wrong with balance? With this kind of image, we blame ourselves for falling out of balance as if we should be a better scale to we would not feel out of balance. It is a poor use of our attention. We focus on what we did wrong, making a mental inventory of what we did or should have done to be more balanced. We make our falling out of balance experience about performance only. Did I stay in balance, or did I lose it? How do I avoid losing my balance? When we focus on performance, we don’t learn about balance; we strive not to lose it. The path to improve balance, if life is taking you to (or past) your edge, is to consciously lose it. Surfers know this path to finding their balance – riding a wave, their balance is constantly changing until they run out of waves to balance on. Their balancing apprenticeship includes falling, over and over. And in those falls, they learn, both from their movement and from their environment. How to stand and shift their weight on the board. The feel of the shape and the momentum of the wave as it forms and dissipates. The fine line between riding inside or outside of their balance zone. The push hands practice in Tai Chi is a testing ground to cultivate balance. Two people stand, connected through their hands and forearms and move together, seeking both to retain their balance and to disrupt their partner’s balance. This practice can be only about performance – who succeeds in disrupting the other person the most. But to cultivate resilience in balance, practitioners must consciously fall out of balance so they can learn about what conditions create balance and what leads to losing balance. How far can you go before you lose balance? Do you know? What tells you that you are getting close to losing it? Does a physical sense of balance have anything to do with a quality of balance in your life? Learning from your failure to keep your balance lets you find the place of up-rightness within you, the place where it feels like it is possible to move freely, this way or that way without cost, without fear, without resorting to some kind of reflex to keep you safe. This place of balance within is created when you repeatedly practice being curious at the edge of your personal limit. On a recent hiking trip, I fell on the trail. I was walking up a gentle incline, stepping on roots and rocks. And stepped into a shallow hole that sent me forward. I fell and I didn’t lose myself in the falling. Even in the second, it took to lose my balance, I asked myself, “Can I recover my balance?” The answer was no. So rather than bracing, I expanded out and forward. Other than losing a little skin on one knee, this complete failure of balance had no other consequences. I fell and I was consciously resilient. I relied on my trained reflexes, training in aikido and Tai Chi, to fall, without losing myself. This is a life metric of balance that works for me. Thinking of balance as a static form, something I have or I don’t is not helpful because that is not actually how we do balance. Balance is dynamic; when I sit or walk or bend over, my base of support is constantly changing. I need to stay open to the information from my environment to balance as I move. Moving to and beyond the edge of my balance expands my capacity to regain my balance or to lose it, without losing myself. So, I think of balance as a verb to learn from, not a noun that is held and lost. To reverse the impact of aging whether we are 65, 45 or younger, we need to practice staying in the flow of our balance so the fear of poor performance doesn’t lead us to shrink away from our personal edges. Lead us to live a smaller life. When balance is about learning, resilience and includes falling, at any age, if you happen to fall, you can stay whole and go with the wave as it rolls through. To embrace balance as resilience rather than the absence of falling. Last year I taught a series on learning to fall well. One of my clients, an older woman with a lively spark in her eye who keeps active, called me after being in the class for several weeks. She told me, “Cheryl, I fell.” I held my breath, concerned about her. She continued, “No Cheryl, it’s ok – I fell lightly!” Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Cheryl! Cheryl Whitelaw, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Cheryl is a leader in using movement to improve brain and body performance, reversing the impacts of aging. As a child, Cheryl asked, “If we can do war, how do we do peace?” Her lifelong exploration of that question led her into embedding transformative learning technologies into adult education, coaching, inclusion, and diversity training and supporting people to recover their personal sense of wellness and wholeness after injury and trauma. A devoted practitioner of aikido, Tai Chi, and Feldenkrais, she is committed to her personal evolutionary path to integrate body, mind, and spirit in service of peace in the world. She has coached individuals in private, public, non-profit organizations, unions, and utility companies from over 12 countries around the world. She is a published author in the field of diversity and inclusion and is well regarded for her blog on how our movement can help us create a more potent and peaceful self in the world. Her mission: Move more; react less, and live more fully with no regrets.

Written by: Suzie Suttles, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When things feel like they are out of your control, how do you respond? Do you speak to yourself and others in harmful ways? Treating yourself unkindly is a form of psychological abuse and usually stems from childhood psychological and relational abuse. When you treat yourself with compassion, it builds resilience and clarifies your thinking. You realize the only thing under your control is your response to the circumstances. Here are 5 ways you can show yourself compassion daily and build a healthy love of yourself and others. 1. Tough times don't always last, and training your mind to think positively is a challenge, but if you truly desire for your circumstances to change, you must learn to look on the bright side. Try to avoid sayings like, "It could be worse." I highly recommend saying things like, "I'm thankful (grateful) for and start naming every gift you currently have in your life. Doing this simple practice daily will assist with lifting the fog of depression. When you're feeling depressed, watch what you are thinking. Depression typically surfaces after thinking about past events (positive or negative) or worrying about your present circumstances. Focus your mind on gratitude in difficult situations and watch how your perception changes. 2. A sense of purpose adds value and longevity to your life, but you'll never find your purpose if you don't start moving or challenging yourself to do difficult things. Creating a vision board, manifestation (goal/intention) list will help create a direction for your life. Setting short-term and long-term goals for yourself gives you a sense of purpose. Make sure they challenge you to grow. They must be attainable, set a realistic timeline for yourself, and discipline yourself to work toward them daily. Remember to encourage yourself even if you attain one or none. Don't focus on what you don't accomplish, and give yourself a pat on the back when you complete a goal. Write them down and post them where you can view them. This will help you work toward them every day. 3. We all experience tough times, and a great way to build compassion for yourself is to serve others who are where you used to be. Giving to others in the form of time builds a sense of compassion for yourself and others. Although you may not be where you used to be, serving others from a space of remembrance keeps you grateful for everything you currently have in your life. When you remove the focus from yourself and give to others by sharing your time, money, and gifts, your problems don't look so bad. 4. Depression will manifest in our lives in many different forms, and to win the daily battle with depression, you must create a daily self-care routine. I begin each day with prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations. You are the only one in control of your internal world, and most depression stems from you allowing your external world to control your internal world. Gaining control of your internal world allows you to control the feelings and emotions surrounding your depression. Creating a regular routine that keeps you grounded, aligned, and fluid minimizes your days of depression. 5. Seek out the proper resources and support you need to get through your days of depression. If what you've been doing isn't providing you with the results you need, you may need to seek out a coach, guide, or therapist who can assist you professionally along your journey. Sometimes what we've been doing is causing us more stress and days of depression than seeking out new ways of relieving ourselves of these emotions and feelings. Everything I suggest may not work for you, so take whatever resonates with you and apply that to your life and leave the rest behind. The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for your external relationships, and how you show up for yourself is how you will show up for others. Protecting your wellbeing and showing yourself kindness and compassion will create a healthy and happy life for yourself and everyone around you. Self-love is the key to inner happiness and success and is a skill that can be developed with the proper training and assistance. Without self-love, you face an obstacle with self-development. Join our FREE private mental health support community today by subscribing to our monthly self-care newsletter, and start cultivating healthy self-love. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , Youtube , Twitter , and visit my website for more info! Suzie Suttles, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Suzie is a Certified Intuitive Guide, Healer, and Reader, who is a survivor of childhood psychological abuse, and domestic violence abuse. She is a thriver of PTSD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and an Intuitive Guidance Coach fostering the heart of men beyond the abuse of their past. Empowering men to move from the mindset of the victim to the mindset of the victor. She is a published author of 6 books, and her work was featured on HubPages, HealDove, and The GTCC Titan Review. Suzie is a proud member of the Phi Theta Kappa National Honors Society.

Written by: Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. How many of you are still looking for that validation? Go ahead, raise your hand. I also fell into that trap at one point in my life. After much self-evaluation, way cheaper than therapy and learning not to give a damn, I got over it quickly! After this article, I hope you will too! Ready? Here we go! Somewhere, I believe we were messed up as children in our lives by our parents . Yes, parents, I am blaming you. Why? You were the ones who wanted us to be the best at almost everything that we did. You praised us, and we got used to having the validation. So, every time your therapist sends that monthly or for some weekly bill, yes, look at your mother and father. Don’t worry, mom and dad, we still love you. Why do we feel that we have to be perfect at almost everything? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Are we in a world where everyone must be something else to be accepted? Why can’t I have curly hair, freckles, and snort when I laugh? Why can’t I drop an “F”-bomb at an inappropriate moment now? Don’t go and do something that will get you fired, and then blame me. Why do we feel that we have to? Yes, I am using that “P” word again, perfect! I personally love someone who shows me their authentic self. Remember that quote from one of my favorite poets Maya Angelou, “ When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” That’s the person I want to know, not the misrepresentation of themselves. Authenticity. Such a refreshing and liberating word . People don’t want Polly Perfect; they want Anna Authentic. Trust me. There are enough suggestive perfect people out there, we don’t need anymore. I appreciate the person who is not afraid to show you who they are. These are the ones that you respect more because you know exactly where they are coming from always ! I can comfortably say that I am in that category now. My high school teacher Ms. Samuels would be so proud of me now. Trust me, it took a while to get here, but I am so glad that I did. Trying to be perfect in all aspects of your life is so exhausting. We all have gifts that were given to us when we were born. I always ask, “what is your Superpower?” The answer is simple. Your Superpower is that no one is you. It makes sense, right? No one can do what you can do, whatever that is. Embrace your gift, share it with the world, and stay humble through the process. So, my friends, as you continue through this thing called LIFE, remember to stay true to yourself and, most importantly, be your best self. Authenticity lasts a lot longer than perfection ever will. My wish for all of you is that you find your authentic self while finding your tribe and building your empire. Have a great day on purpose! For more information, follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn and visit my website ! Read more from Felicia! Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Felicia Shanken is a Women Strategist and Builder. She is the Founder/CEO of the Philadelphia Women's Network Connection, LLC and PWNC Foundation 501(c)(3). PWNC is about helping local businesswomen build their businesses, connect with like-minded individuals and benefit from shared resources. The Foundation is committed to helping women growing a business as solo entrepreneurs transition from a full-time or part-time job to full-time entrepreneurship. Felicia has also been recognized and honored by " Fun Times Magazine " in their March/April 2020 edition for being " 2020 Philadelphia Who's Who Black Women of Influence". Felicia had the opportunity in September 2019 to have her own show on RVNTV , a digital television platform called " Power Up Your Passion" where she brings guests on to talk about their passion in life and how it leads to where they are now. Felicia was raised in Queens, New York. She moved to Philadelphia over 20 years ago, where she met her husband, Paul, a native Philadelphian. They live in the Fairmont area of Center City, Philadelphia.

Written by: Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Let’s face it, as much as we might hate to admit this, fear is real, and it’s present in all of us. No one is immune. It’s a part of life, absolutely, but why do some seem to have it under control while others get completely controlled by it? The truth is we all have the power to overcome the stress and fear we experience. We all have the power to get out ahead of it by staying in a more neutral state more often (aka, regularly practicing using the internal tools we already know to tap into such as journaling, meditation, mirror work, improving self-talk, etc.) So, what’s stopping so many from helping themselves in dire situations when they already have all they need to manage it successfully? What’s causing so many to be reactive and feel so out of control with their life that they give in to the emotions that are bringing them down? In my 12 years of mentoring countless women, and now nearly two years working with and interviewing women in my coaching business, I’ve found one of the biggest culprits to be that there’s a misunderstanding around what fear is. This misunderstanding is causing an overwhelming amount of unnecessary panic and a sense of helplessness because they don’t know exactly what’s wrong and therefore have no idea what will help release the stress. It’s all a guessing game filled with hoping and finger crossing. And no one is to blame for this. There’s just simply been no education around the meaning of fear and building a relationship with our fears to help them dissolve from the heightened state they create. It is not what society has normalized doing. Below are some of my top tips to living a freer existence that will help you get out of the fear and into a consistently more peaceful state. With enough practice of implementation, it will become easier and more enjoyable. You will start to understand your fear (and, dare I say, even embrace it). 1. Surrender To The Fear The toughest part about being in a state we don’t desire is the resistance felt in experiencing it. There’s a push/pull happening were, while the emotion is occurring, we are expending effort into a useless energy field of convincing ourselves it isn’t happening. Our reasoning for why it shouldn’t be and creating mental stories that make the situation catastrophic in the moment. There must be a surrender that instead accepts the moment. When you do that, your body lessens its tightened grip, your breathing slows down and allows oxygen to go into your entire body, and there’s a calm that covers you like a weighted blanket. You feel safer, and essentially, you are. This surrender (aka: pause) allows for clarity to come in, which serves as the foundation for the next right move to make. It’s the idea of “slowing down to speed up” where the pause becomes the catalyst for aligned motion. Having space for a clear mind during overwhelming will take you far and decrease the pain of the scenario dramatically. 2. Evaluate And Track Your Fear (It’s different for everyone) One of the key reasons fears can take us over is because it’s easy to immediately group it into general terms in our mind of what’s really happening vs. breaking down the experience. It’s like when we have what feels like a giant to-do list and say, “It’s going to take me forever to finish this.” Yet when you take a real look at the items, you see it’s only a lot of little things, and in all reality is probably going to take a max of 30-60 minutes of your time (as an example). It’s important to bring the experience off the pedestal and take a real look at it. Understand what you’re working with and recalibrate your perspective from the bird’s eye view down to a more up close one. Write down the following: Ask yourself if there are any patterns you notice where fear tends to pop up consistently. Ask yourself what occurs in your mind right before and during the experience of that fear. Ask yourself why it feels scary and what you’re REALLY afraid of. Get honest with yourself. (If you stop at “I don’t know,” this is a huge sign of being patient with yourself as you dig deeper. If you give yourself time to think about this, an answer will come). Ask yourself what you believe to be the worst-case scenario of this thing occurring and how likely you are to experience that. Ask yourself what the best-case scenario would be if you moved towards the fear, and it all worked out. THIS is the key thing you want to focus on and place energy towards. Doing that exercise will help you understand the stories you’re creating in your mind vs. what’s really being experienced. 3. Speak To Your Fear This one might seem a little out there but hear me out. Remember when I used the term “relationship” regarding dismantling and dissolving the power that fear can have over us? This is what I was talking about. We want to start seeing the “bad” emotions as data vs. something to be scared of. We want to start thinking about these undesired feelings/emotions as our bodies simply speaking to us a little more loudly, so we will pay attention to what it has to say. It’s all just guidance (or an internal compass, if you will). The more we can tune in and listen to what our body is trying to say to us, the more knowledgeable and the less afraid we will be when heightened emotions come to the surface. And funny enough, you will notice them come up less and less because your body doesn’t need to talk so loudly to get your attention anymore. There’s established communication and understanding happening. If you want to understand the messages your body is trying to send you, allow that curiosity to be the question you bring into your next meditation session. Become curious with your body’s language and watch your awareness of what it’s saying to you become effortless. Soon enough, you will not even question any fear that comes up but instead be able to say thank you for the information, make sense of it, and move on, removing its once-powerful grip. Another key thing to remember is that both fear and excitement sit on the same emotional scale, just at opposite ends. Therefore, that means your perception of your experience is what determines the placement of it on the scale. If you can tune in more and work on that relationship every day, your emotions will naturally gravitate towards a placement you desire simply because you know that’s where it belongs. At the end of the day, the most important thing to know is that you do not have to be a victim of your circumstance. You do not have to be stuck in an emotional state you do not desire to be in. The choice is yours. It is up to you to decide what you want different and then find a way to make it happen. Especially now that you know more is possible. Follow Jesi on Facebook , Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website . Read more from Jesi! Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jesi Carroll, Life Design Coach, is a certified Interior Designer and Mindset Coach who can show you how to Re-design your life (AND home) in the way you're worthy of. She specializes in taking her clients from decorating overwhelm and debilitating people-pleasing and perfectionism to relief at home and in life. She believes that design is a mirror that can reflect our inner world back to us. When leveraged properly, it can be life-changing and allow us to dive deep into the subconscious to truly heal. This tool is available to all of us, and she is here to show you how to harness it!

Written by: Ailsa Keppie , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Like it or not we are essentially social creatures. We react and respond to our environment and we rely on other people to help form our self-image. We have a spectrum of social emotions that come alive in us as we participate in our social culture and community. These social emotions can be put into two basic categories depending on whether they make us feel good about ourselves or bad about ourselves. Through these self-conscious emotions, we become aware of what we feel about ourselves and also how we are seen in the eyes of others. Shame - which includes guilt, embarrassment, and humiliation Pride - which includes self-esteem, arrogance, and vanity These social emotions act as a mirror so that we can see ourselves through another’s eyes. Because of this, there is a possibility to receive both helpful or harmful messages about ourselves that can really shape our relationships throughout our entire lives. If we are extremely lucky, we receive more helpful and positive messages growing up but the possibility to be harmed by the underlying messages that are communicated by others, either consciously or unconsciously, is always present. We can be harmed when someone else communicates the underlying message that we are worth less than they are or even worthless. These types of underlying messages fall on the side of the Shame emotions. See the above diagram. We could also experience that someone thinks us of higher value than they are, and this could also cause harm, although usually to a less painful degree. This would fall under the Pride category. See above. Social engagement, trust, love, and compassion are really only experienced when we can feel and communicate with each other as beings of equal worth. In this way, we feel at ease, seen, and heard as our own unique selves. My curiosity is to support and even build skills for people to learn to regard each other with this equality of humanness. You and I are of equal worth in this world. It is not lost on me that this requires much commitment and attention to the awareness of our social emotions. Repairing harm, we may have caused to others becomes a moral obligation to look at where we fall short of this equitable stance and to rectify our balance of Shame and Pride in ourselves. We also must be aware of the underlying messages inherent in our communications with others as these messages belie our true thoughts of people around us and of ourselves. Perhaps an integrated approach that begins with both repairing our view of ourselves and also our views of others so that we think, act, and speak with both sincerity and love. We ask questions such as: Where do I not accept or love parts of myself? Where do I judge, envy, or belittle aspects of others? How can I come into balance so that I mirror back to others and see in myself the perfectly imperfect humanness of all of us? This is my inquiry. I hope you find something here worthy of pondering in your life and relationships. With curiosity and love, Ailsa Want to learn more from Ailsa? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Youtub e , and visit her website. Read more from Ailsa! Ailsa Keppie, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ailsa is a trained intimacy Educator and Somatic Therapist and has been working in hands-on bodywork, somatic coaching, and healing for over a decade. Ailsa Keppie brings aspects from her background in circus arts, physical theatre, music, dance, myofascial release, bioenergetic processes, archetypes, and spirituality to her work with clients. She is a published author of her compelling memoir entitled "By the Light of the Crescent Moon," which describes her incredible journey into Islam and polygamy and how it lead to her awakening and reclamation of her own Eros and power. Ailsa works with individuals, couples, and groups both online and in-person at her retreat center, Our Celtic Hearth, in Nova Scotia, Canada, where she resides with her current life partner.

Written by: Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Am I a good enough mom? The unexpected expectations of motherhood! The memory of finding out you are pregnant is quite literally seared into a mother’s memory bank because it changes your life. From the moment a woman discovers she is going to be a mother, she takes on a completely new identification. She will forever be defined as a mom. It might be the only identification she’s ever really dreamed of having, but maybe at the same time, in becoming a mom, and she must form a new identity. Either way, in her new role, she absorbs all types of new expectations. There are expectations placed on her from society, from her own family, from her job outside the home, and even her expectations, or what some might call ‘goals’, for herself as a mom. Like any parent, a mother doubts themselves and their ability to meet all these expectations. We think to ourselves, “Am I good enough at being a mom to successfully fulfill all of these responsibilities?” The term “good enough mother” started to be thrown around in the 1950s by Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst. The term “good enough mother” is very subjective, yet there is a baseline that needs to be met. The doubt of whether or not we are a good enough mother for our children is too often floating around a mom’s brain. It’s probably because we compare our efforts and parental achievements to any parent and child within a 10-mile radius. Even the most confident moms will parade their achievements subtly at the local library story time or on the neighborhood playground just for the reassurance that they are indeed a good enough mom for their kids. Seeing their child in comparison to another can be reassuring, and it can also be a huge blow to a mom’s ego. Are You Mom Enough? The controversial TIME Magazine article Are you mom enough? Why attachment parenting drives some mothers to extremes and how Dr. Bill Sears became their guru that showed an image of a mom breastfeeding her 3-year-old child tugged at the heartstrings of caregivers around the world. As usual, as the memories of feeding our children when they were babies start to flood a mom’s brain, and we start comparing ourselves to the mom on this cover. Most likely, this image would instantly remind any mom, parent, or caregiver out there of their own experience with feeding. For many women, breastfeeding is a difficult memory of being a mom. No wonder it’s freaking hard work. For other moms, breastfeeding was a triumph and a way of life in the infant years of parenting. Suppose you read the feature article, though, you’ll discover that this triggering cover image is addressing a parenting style called attachment parenting. Not everyone subscribes to this style of parenting. However, it does seem to be a modern parenting approach that many parents are using whether or not they realize it. What is Attachment Parenting? Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that encourages the attachment of a parent and his/her infant using empathy and responsive parenting styles in conjunction with physical closeness and bonding strategies. The goal of attachment parenting is to raise children who can create and maintain healthy emotional connections with other people throughout their life. Parents who take on the mentality of attachment parenting believe that their own respectful and emotionally rich relationship with their child is the first step towards their child’s social-emotional development. Attachment parenting is not a new trend or strategy but a new way to describe a mentality of parenting that’s been done for centuries. Coined by the pediatrician, Dr. Bill Sears, in the million-copy bestselling book titled, The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two . Practically speaking, many parents already have taken on some of the strategies of attachment parenting. For example, many moms breastfeed their children, or co-sleep, and/or wear their baby in a baby carrier or sling. These tactics improve the physical, emotional, and mental bond between a parent or caregiver and the child. If attachment parenting is something that fits your family’s needs and values, then one of the most important things to do is to uphold the overriding principles of attachment parenting. According to Attachment Parenting International, there are eight principles parents should live by to raise children who can flourish socially and emotionally at every age. Principles of Attachment Parenting 1. Prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting Parents need support, preparation, and practice as they prepare for and endure pregnancy, birth, and the ongoing role of parenting. Example: When planning health care for your child, you explore, research, and are open to different types of prenatal care, birthing options, and postpartum care. 2. Feed with love and respect Parents believe eating and feeding are a means to show love and mutual respect. They use mealtimes to model healthy relationships with food, positive social connections, love, and relationships with family and close friends. Example: Picking out a new fruit or vegetable with your child during the weekly grocery store run. 3. Respond with sensitivity Parents are aware of their child’s emotional and physical needs. Parents respond in a respectful, appropriate, and consistent manner. Example: When your child is trying their best yet gets upset. Re-assure them to keep trying. Share a story from when you were young and struggled. 4. Use a nurturing touch Parents provide physical contact, affection, security, stimulation, and movement to their children during all phases of childhood to promote the development of healthy attachment. Examples: Wearing the baby or giving hugs, messages, and/or playful wrestling with older children. 5. Ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally Parents need support and education on safe sleep arrangements from child to child as all children are different and have different wants and needs as they develop. Example: Your child may need the comfort of a weighted blanket. Talk about all options with a sleep consultant in your area. 6. Provide consistent and loving care Parents and caregivers are consistently physically present and give loving, responsive care that allows the infant or the child to bond with them through trust and mutual respect, and play. Example : Your child is entering kindergarten and heading into a new school setting for the first time. Instead of shoving them out the door with a good luck pat on the back, a parent or caregiver can take the child to the school building and give them a tour of their new classroom, playground, restrooms, and cafeteria. This shows respect for the child’s anxiousness about readiness to separate from their current routine and environment. 7. Practice positive discipline Positive discipline uses techniques like prevention, distraction, and substitution to help a child develop self-control and self-discipline. Example : Instead of spanking a child for not cleaning up his toys, a parent would give the child a choice to either put away his/her toys where they belong, or they could be thrown away in the garbage. Allow the child time to choose from those options, and whichever choice he/she makes is what happens next, even if the child chooses to throw away his toys. Follow-through is key to positive disciplining. 8. Strive for balance in your personal and family life Life has ups and downs, yet keeping life in ebb and flow is a must for the family’s overall well-being. Example: Keep a family journal. Sharing a journal with your children and/or spouse keeps communication open along with balance in the house. You can learn more about the principles of attachment parenting on the Attachment Parenting International website . No matter the parenting style or blend of styles you choose to implement; you must satisfy the essentials: Meet our child’s health needs Promote our child’s developmental needs Putting our child’s safety needs first Provide routine and consistent care Acknowledging difficulties Provide support Mom Labels Now that we realize what is needed. No matter how we identify or label our style of parenting from free-range to attached parenting, we are good enough moms. From a “ unicorn mom ” to a “ resilient mom ,” even the introverted moms , we are all doing our best for our thriving children. Putting the “mom labels” aside. We are all trying our best. Everything Mama Bear Domain implements, we believe in challenging moms to be confident, we believe in support, we believe self-worth in motherhood is a must! Join NOW The Mom Coach™ “on-demand” to improve your mindset, conquer your goals because we all deserve to stop existing and start living. You are doing a great job, mom. Follow Kelly on Instagram , Facebook , YouTube , Pinterest and visit her w ebsite . Read more from Kelly! Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine Kelly Hater, the owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience and a B.S. in Health Promotion specialized in Exercise Science. She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout, providing a clear, decisive plan that leads her clients on a path of success. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live fulfilling lives. She personally has overcome overwhelming struggles herself. Get the accountability needed to take action. As a mom of two, she gets it.