Written by: Marianne Ewasyn, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. You have a dream for a great life - achieving something that you would absolutely love! Maybe you are passionate about starting a new business or finding your soul mate. But then you feel stuck and find it hard to take steps towards your dream. Your thoughts move in to distract or dissuade you. You hear a familiar voice that says it's here to keep you safe. It says that "now" is not the right time for you. Later would be better …. So, what do you do? Do you stay with the safe and familiar, or do you pursue your dream? That voice you hear is the voice of Fear. Fear is your primitive fight or flight system trying to keep you safe so you can survive. It wants you to stay in your current situation because it doesn't know what change might lie ahead. Fear is simply the border between the “reality” you have known and your "dream," which is a life beyond that border. You will come up against fear on the path to achieving your dream. And you succeed in the presence of your fear, not in the absence of it. To succeed in building the life you would love, learn how to turn your attention from your fear and fix your attention on your dream. Befriend Your Fear What does it mean to befriend your fear? It means to acknowledge fear, even embrace it, but not let it have control of your life. It's about having fear, without being consumed and immobilized by fear. We all have fear – there's fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of the opinion of others …. almost an endless list. We also have Dreams we would love to achieve. It's impossible not to have some fear in life, so you must acknowledge your fear and learn how to befriend it. In this way, you honor fear's presence, but kick it out of the driver's seat to advance confidently toward your dream. Remember, there is a difference between “having fear” and the “fear having us.” Courage is moving ahead with our fear. Know that Fear is Feedback Fear alerts us to the signs and signals of growth. If you have fear about taking the next step towards your dream – that's good news! It means that you're on your "growing edge" and about to step into a life that you love. We need to embrace our fear and know that it's just a companion on our journey. And if you let ideas of fear, anxiety or doubt be your guide, you will always find yourself contracting and reacting to your circumstances. What you put your attention on, the universe hears as your intention. With this awareness, you can manage the energy of your fear so that it becomes a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Fear doesn't mean we can't, it simply means that we haven't yet. Fear also wants to keep us from experiencing failure. But failure is just feedback too, and there's nothing wrong with failure. It's the opportunity to have feedback about our learning cycle. Don't be afraid of making a mistake or experiencing failure. Be more afraid of staying stuck. We often don't realize how much "failure" highly successful people had before they achieved their dreams. TV Star, Oprah Winfrey, was fired by television executives and told that she was not fit for TV. Disney Founder Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for "lacking imagination, and having no original ideas." And children's author, J.K. Rowling's, first "Harry Potter" novel was rejected by 12 publishing houses before she achieved great success. Move Outside Your Comfort Zone The greatest dream builders in the world have all been afraid. People who are never afraid are always staying in their comfort zones. You have power you are not using. Take your foot off the brake! When you learn to drive a car, it can be daunting and scary at first and you may want to have your right foot on the gas pedal and your left foot hovering over (or even touching) the brake pedal. You know there's lots of power available to propel you forward, but you are afraid to access it. However, with practice, you soon become more comfortable and take your foot off the brake. Now you're going places! It's the same thing with pursuing your goals and dreams. There's a part of you that wants to expand and move forward, but it can be scary to leave your comfort zone, so you "put on the brakes." If, instead, you put your attention on what you want, you can use your power to advance in that direction. The "magic" happens when you step outside your comfort zone. Understand that Greatness includes Fear If you decide to step into your greatness, fear will be a companion. Therefore, you must be willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth. When someone is on their death bed, their greatest regret is not what they've done – but rather what they "didn't do", and wished they had dared to do. Realize that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. You have an infinite side and live in an abundant world of unlimited possibilities, with a connection to an infinite source of energy. It's the human side of you that feels afraid and the spiritual side that urges you to expand and grow. If you live to be eighty years old, you will have lived seven hundred and fifty thousand hours. Now, what if you were to invest just the next twenty-four hours in learning how to develop your ability to choose which thought you are going to give your creative energy to? Here's something to try for just a day: For the next twenty-four hours, pay attention to your thoughts and decide to direct your energy to positive thinking. When your mind wants to pick up old thoughts that are fearful or life-diminishing, simply turn your attention back to a powerful thought that is in harmony with the life you want to live. It's important to notice what you're paying attention to. You can say you want this great life and this dream, but if your attention goes to all the things that could go wrong, the universe will always deliver to you that which you put your attention. By noticing your constrictive thoughts and pivoting to life-affirming thoughts, you begin to build an arsenal of positive power thoughts that you can use as a foundation to stand on. It's necessary to acknowledge your fear, and to "have fear without fear having you." Realize that the life you want is just outside of your comfort zone, and be willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth. Now, are you prepared, despite any fear, to take steps to achieve your dreams and live a life you truly love? Or are you content to stay in your comfort zone and live the same life day after day? Just think, you can live another 365 days by default or you could live another year by design and be living into your dream. The infinite part of you is urging you to expand and grow – like an angel whispering in your ear. You can say this to yourself: "There is something in me that's greater than this fear. And that same power guides my life and I move past every obstacle, step by step, towards building my dream." Befriend Your Fear to Achieve your Dreams! Yes, you can! I believe in you and the power you have within you! If you found this article to be helpful or inspirational, please claim your complimentary 11 Tips to Unlimited Happiness And I would love to connect with you to support you with Dream Building and moving past your fears. Visit my website here and follow me on Facebook! Marianne Ewasyn, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marianne Ewasyn is grateful to be living her passion and purpose as a Transformational Life Coach and Healer. She inspires and guides others to discover and build their dreams so they can live a life they absolutely love! As a life-long student of personal development and heart centered mindset she has immersed herself in premium coaching, healing and mentoring with Marci Shimoff, Christian Mickelsen and Mary Morrisey’s Brave Thinking Institute, among others. Marianne knows first-hand what it’s like to be weighed down by worry and struggle and she now empowers others to achieve new heights of authentic happiness, vibrant health, spiritual aliveness and success through a proven system called Dream Builder. She believes that each one of us is far more powerful and contains more potential than any circumstance, situation or condition. Marianne would love to support you to create and live a life that you would truly love! Her motto: “It’s your life, make it a great one!”

Written by: Ewa Adams, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Imagine an organisation with emotionally mature team members that feel responsible for their actions and understand that company’s success and company’s culture is a direct result of how they work and communicate with one another. Organisation, where you are allowed to make mistakes; organisation with “no blame” culture. It’s a place of transparency and understanding where you are encouraged to experiment and be creative. Who wouldn’t like to work in a place like this? Paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt “with freedom comes responsibility”, it is no different in the case of a “no blame” culture within organisations. It’s a great concept that can become a company culture when implemented correctly. And the main ingredient needed is the understanding of ownership and accountability. You are given the freedom to experiment, to try and fail , to be bold, and implement a new way of thinking or doing things. It was a necessity of high-reliability organisations like hospitals or airlines to report quickly about any possible errors to avoid catastrophic consequences. Reporting is crucial in a “no blame” organisation; it is not about pointing fingers “you’re guilty” but creating a safe place to encourage error reporting in order to find a solution and to do so quickly. These principles are getting more and more popular in the office environment. Organisations of any size or in any sector can benefit from it. We just have to watch out for some common pitfalls. If you are creating a culture without blaming, you must have accountability in the first place. And this is not the same as blame. To be accountable means to take responsibility for own actions and their results, it doesn’t matter good or bad. Accountability puts pressure on finding solutions and learning from mistakes to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. Being accountable means being responsible and respectful, understand that we do not live or work in isolation, that our actions impact others. Accountability looks at the future, with the anchor in “now” to determine how our actions today will impact our results in the future. Accountability comes with process ownership and understanding of the role and processes of other team members, in the end, the principle of communicating vessels applies here too. We can point out processes, errors, broken links, blockages but once that is identified and someone is asked to do a certain thing to improve the process, they, yes, these people must be held accountable, otherwise, we will have anarchy, where no one feels responsible, and everything is allowed. Focus however is on finding the solution, not stigmatising someone for making a mistake. Few important points on how to maximise successful implementation of “no blame” culture in (your) organisation It is in human nature to connect errors with people rather than process. Take time to educate your team, set clear rules, and explain why the focus is on the process and finding solutions. Allocate time to explain and demonstrate the processes of all team members so everyone can understand the workflow of others. If they understand the process, they will more likely understand where the error is coming from, rather than just blame the person and their performance. As an organisation, team, and individual, know your values and your mission. Set your standard and be consequent. That’s your anchor to do things right. As humans, we understand that we are not perfect, and mistakes are part of our life. Ideally, we should learn from failure and move on. Often, the minute we enter the office, we forget about it, and when the results are far from expected, and a witch-hunt begins to find someone to blame. Trust yourself and others. Experiment and encourage experimentation. Create, test, and implement; fail to succeed. Balance “no blame” culture with accountability and your organisation will be one step closer to the place where people can’t wait to come to work on Monday. And that’s exciting. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Ewa Adams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ewa Adams is a professional coach and business improvement specialist, proud founder of Your Everest Coaching. Over the past 15 years, with successes, she gained hands-on experience in business management, recruitment, and team building. Coaching and Lean are her two passions, and she combines them to find the best solution when working with her clients on their personal or professional goals. She believes in holistic approach in coaching, while she looks at all aspects of her clients’ life. This way she can support her clients by identifying areas for improvement, eliminating unproductive habits and limiting beliefs. Ewa supports her clients and leads them to a re-designed harmonious life and profitable business.

Written by: Jeanne Savelle, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. This month, in Part 4 of Re-Awaken Your Creativity to Live a Better Life, I share what I’ve learned about the effortless nature of creativity. Creativity Is Naturally Easy Creativity is the natural way of life. When you look at nature, you see the magnificence of life’s effortless creative power. This same power resides in you, in all of us. You only need to reconnect with your inner creative power to unleash it into the world. When you don’t connect with your creative power, you build an internal wall of isolation that shuts down and rejects your essential nature. When you resist or reject any effort, urge, or desire to create or to think creatively, you stop allowing life’s expression from emerging through you. Creativity benefits from sustained work but not from struggle. Struggle arises from fear; fear that you won’t get it right, do it well or will fail. But nothing about creativity is right or wrong, good or bad, of success or failure, or a mistake. Creativity is only about exploration and expression. Shakespeare’s Hamlet said: “… for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so .” The key is to let go of assumptions, opinions, concerns about the outcome, and judgments. Stop resisting and surrender to the joy of creation. When you explore with curiosity, you’ll find creativity comes easily and naturally. You’ll still meet challenges, but you’ll learn, improve, and grow as long as you keep exploring. You are not in control of what someone thinks about your work, but you don’t have to show it to anyone. What you create belongs wholly to you, so treat your creations with love and respect. Creativity Is A Feeling When you embrace creativity, you’ll realize how effortless it arises and how naturally it flows. Feeling resistance, heaviness, or struggle, indicates you are moving away from it. Because these feelings block creativity, walk away and start again later. Your feelings are your guides, so pay attention. When you stay in the positive feelings with your project, keep going. When your feelings shift, check to see what’s going on. You might want to make changes, take a break, or try another idea. You can always stop, pivot, or move on to another idea. When you stay open with curiosity, new ideas will come. Pick an intriguing idea to play with until you don’t want to play with it any longer. Don’t try to pick the “best” idea because there isn’t one. Every idea is the same. Play with the ones that attract you. Negative feelings indicate you are straying from the creative path. Wait for a new feeling to emerge then follow where it leads. My Journey Most of my life, I associated creativity with the arts. I was astounded when I learned that life itself is pure creativity. I never associated the creative abundance of nature with human creativity. Once I started to see this, I began to understand creativity in a broader context. For example, the development of the COVID-19 vaccine was an enormous example of creative thinking. But even developing a better way to clean your bathroom is an exercise in creative thinking. When I retired and stepped into an unknown future, I entered a creative space without realizing it. By exploring various ideas, reading about and learning new things, trying new activities, and developing additional skills, I was connecting with my inner creativity. I started making new connections with people who thought and did things differently and challenged me to look at life in uncommon ways. For example, I took a bold step one day by signing up for a short video class, which I NEVER would have done before. I learned to make 1-minute videos on my phone without regard to how I dressed or did my hair. These videos were only for me and I didn’t show them to anyone. But by being curious to see how it worked, I realized I could be on camera without throwing up! So, don’t worry about what anyone thinks, create for yourself, just for the joy of it. Effortless Creativity Creativity is effortless when you tap into your internal creative power and experience this deep truth. You were made to create. It is your nature. For too long we have separated ourselves from our innate creativity and denied ourselves the experience of natural living. So, stop thinking about your talent and what your friends think, and allow yourself the freedom to bring ideas to the surface and see what they show you. When it gets hard, you’ve moved away from the source. Give yourself space to reconnect and try again. Don’t quit on the verge of your breakthrough. If you had no expectations, what could you create just for the fun of it? Follow me on LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Jeanne! Jeanne Savelle, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jeanne is a Gentle Guide and Transformation Agent living in the Atlanta, GA, area. After 30 years as an international corporate finance executive, she chucked that life to reinvent herself. She is now a transformational coach guiding older adults to living life through their inner creativity. She is a writer and author, writing about transformation, creativity, retirement, and wine. She's earned certifications from The Retirement Coaches Association, The Life Coach School, and Modern Elder Academy. Her previous life included a Masters in International Management from The Thunderbird School of Global Management at Arizona State University.

Written by: Aimmee Odom, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you noticed that some people don’t like you or give you the time of day as you are going through life? And at that moment, you have probably wondered why it is that? How did I rub them the wrong way, or better yet, I was just existing and did nothing? Have you experienced that, my friend? Well, you are not alone! We are all mirrors for each other. What we do not like in someone else is something inside us that needs healing—a feeling, emotion, or action that we need to allow ourselves to heal. So, if you find yourself not liking someone, stop and look within and ask yourself what is it in them I don’t care for and see if you can spot it within yourself. Then, allow your fabulous unique self to heal. That is freedom. Freedom to look within and see what is no longer serving you. The same holds true when someone turns their light away from you. You triggered a feeling they have not yet dealt with: anger, hurt, jealousy, or even hatred. Next time this happens, you can hopefully have compassion for a fellow human and not take their indifference personally cause it’s their healing that needs to occur, not yours! On the other side of the coin, when you see someone you are drawn to either by their charisma, determination, laughter, love, or even beauty, it’s because YOU have that inside of you too! In another person, we are drawn to an essence that we already have but not fully developed. Or something that is lying dormant and is ready to blossom. If you ever can’t see the next version of yourself, this is an excellent formula to use. Take a look at all who inspire you, who lights you up, who do you admire, and make a list of the qualities you absolutely love that are inside of them. Once you write these down, you will see a commonality of traits. When you see the commonality, that means it’s inside of you too! Commit to yourself to see what has not been yet seen. See it before it’s there. If not, no one else will. Remember, there is always a reflection in a mirror, but it’s our choice to see the beauty or not. So keep shining your glorious light and be the beacon for others. Want more info? Follow Aimmee on her Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube Channel. You can also visit her website to get in touch. Read more from Aimmee! Aimmee Odom, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Aimmee Odom is on a mission to inspire people to tap into their own uniqueness. To live life to the fullest, we need to look within. After many hardships of life, including weight loss, divorce, and learning disabilities, Aimmee has unlocked the key to fulfillment! Her teachings are a pyramid of change through body, mind, and spirit. This change pyramid will ignite your personal power, get clear on who you want to be, and learn how to listen to that little voice we call intuition. The most powerful key of all is LOVE. Love is the key to enlightenment, joy, and The Uniqueness of You!

Written by: Beth Brown, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Greetings, Beloveds! I hope you caught the previous two articles where I introduced the Erotic Blueprints™ and how knowing what our Blueprint is can break us open to the Great Awakening of our divine erotic power. If not, before we go any further, click HERE to take the Erotic Blueprint Quiz™ to determine what your Erotic Blueprint is and take a screenshot of your results so that you’ll remember. Got your Blueprint? Perfect! Now follow me as we delve a little further into determining, feeding, and speaking the Blueprints! Now that we’ve determined what your Blueprint is via the quiz, another way I help my clients discover their unique Blueprint is by guiding them in a tantalizing game called “The A/B Game.” This can be done solo or with a partner and involves exploring a variety of sensations on the body representative of the different Blueprints to determine what does or does not feel pleasurable. Here’s a teasing taste of what this touch exploration might look like. A/B Game Touch Preferences and somatic responses that may happen with each Blueprint: Energetic – Hovering over skin, very light touch, teasing touch. You’ll know their Energetic is getting fed if their body quivers or shakes with these touches. Sensual – Feathers, fur or soft objects, a slow & luxurious touch, massage with essential oils. They may moan with delight or cry when touched a certain way that feeds them. Sexual – Direct touch to genitals, nipple touch, vibrator directly on genitals, deep massage using sensation item. Good to note that if their genitals are not touched, they may get bored with the process. Kinky – Slaps, spanking, scratches, playful nipple touch or pinches, feeling restraints on wrists. Notice if they growl or giggle when given the type of touch that feeds them. Shapeshifter – All of these and more! Their body will probably adore all the things! And now, my lovers, let’s get your Erotic Blueprint properly fed! What is feeding a Blueprint and why should you care? To feed your Erotic Blueprint is to give the body what it wants and needs to feel safe, nourished, satisfied, and loved. It’s a beautiful way of honoring yourself and your partner in the giving and receiving of what brings you both the most arousing pleasure. When our sexuality is properly fed, we are more connected, grounded, and turned on to our vital life energy. Here are some exquisite ways to feed yourself or your partner(s) in the different Blueprints: Energetic: Find the “vulvas” that exist all over the body, like the palm of the hand, the top of the skull/crown chakra, the many crevices of the body, and lightly stroke as if stroking the vulva. Have your partner feed you by lightly hovering hands over different areas of your body to determine what is energetically pleasurable, Create a tantalizing space for a super slow, anticipatory Energetic foreplay session. Sensual: For solo play, put on some old-school seductive music a la Marvin Gaye or some slow sensual trip-hop in the vein of Morcheeba—feeding yourself decadent cacao truffles with juicy fresh strawberries; savoring each bite. Have your partner blindfold you, gently lay you on the bed, then seductively kiss and caress your body with feathers or something silky—exploring every delicious crevice of your body. Sexual: Indulge in some blazing hot solo toy play all over your body, particularly focusing on your genitals. Make your partner squeal with direct genital play and massage using vibrators, dildos, etc—not forgetting the landscape of the perineum. Kinky: Go solo and create the fantasy of your choice by indulging kinky sensation items on your body such as chains, whips, paddles, ropes, etc. If you’re just slipping into kink, maybe start with some light thigh slaps, scratches, neck biting, nipple pinches, combined with some dirty talk, restraint and power play. (For deeper kink play, please find a good kink instructor to show you the way.) Shapeshifter: Feed yourself with all the things: blindfolds, feathers, dildos, wands, ropes, chains, crystals, silky things, etc. Having your partner teasingly taste your genitals and then move up for a kiss of the lips then a slap on the thigh would meet your Energetic anticipation needs, as well as your Sexual and Kinky. Another juicy component of feeding the Blueprints is speaking the Blueprints! Being able to speak in our partner’s Blueprint is a way to honor, arouse and vibrationally connect with them. Try these ways of Speaking the Blueprints: Energetic: Speak slowly with a light tone and low volume, very spacious and flowing as if riding waves of light and energy and say, “Ahhhhh, I would love it if you would worship my portal tonight.” Sensual: Speak in a “Barry White” tone with a low pitch, resonant in the chest and with a slow speed as if savoring every... single... word... as if dripping with chocolate... and deliciousness... mmmmmmmm. Gaze into your lover’s eyes and say, “I want to explore every. single. crevice of your decadent body.” Sexual: Speak direct, but filled with desire in a low to mid-volume range and low pitch, with medium-high air. A classic sexual go-to phrase that never disappoints, “I want your cock in my pussy…now!” Kinky: For Doms, be very direct and condescending in a low monotone voice that elicits control and say, “You’re a pretty little slave, aren’t you? Tonight, you’re mine and I expect you to behave.” And to that the Sub may respond in a soft, low-volume tone...head down, eyes looking up, “Yes, Master. I promise to behave, sir. It is my pleasure to serve you.” Shapeshifter: Move chaotically like a chameleon between each of the Blueprint words, moving from direct to indirect, low to high volume and pitch, with an all-over-the-place melody at a low to high speed then say, “You’re a fucking God. Now, put on this blindfold. I’m going to devour your delicious body in such a cosmically orgasmic way.” Ahhhh, beloveds, now see how we put it all together? It’s a beautiful thing to be able to feed and speak to your lover in the way that best honors and gets them aroused. Stay tuned to future issues of BRAINZ Magazine, where I’ll divulge even more sultry secrets of the Erotic Blueprints. Follow me on Instagram, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Beth! Beth Brown, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine As a Certified and Licensed Erotic Blueprint™ Coach trained directly by world-renowned Somatic Sexologist, Jaiya, Beth is clear on her mission to anchor the frequency of love and to help shift consciousness on the planet around sexuality from shame to full self-expression. Her passion is helping middle-aged women reclaim access to their divine creative life force and erotic power so that they are shining in their full radiant bloom. Beth is also a gifted and internationally known therapeutic harpist and sound healer, incorporating her talents to enhance and deepen her clients’ healing and embodiment experience. She is a graduate of the International Harp Therapy Program in San Diego as a Certified Therapeutic Harp Practitioner (C.H.T.P.) and studied sound healing at the Globe Institute of Sound & Consciousness in San Francisco. She is also an Accelerated Evolution Transformational Guide, having studied under the tutelage of Satyen Raja of the Accelerated Evolution Academy.

Written by: Lorraine Miano, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Many peri and postmenopausal women ask me, as a health and hormone coach, which supplements I recommend for their optimal health. Eating a healthy diet that includes the essentials we need should be at the top of our list. However, there are several supplements that can benefit all women and some specific ones for women experiencing certain symptoms of hormone imbalance or other health concerns. To make it simple, I’ll start with the supplements that most women would benefit from on their daily menopausal health journey. Please Note: The information provided is for educational purposes only and does not take the place of medical advice. If you have a medical question regarding Perimenopause or Menopause, please speak with your doctor. Talk with your doctor before taking any supplements. Fish Oil: Omega 3 Fatty Acids What is Omega-3? Omega-3 fatty acids are a group of polyunsaturated fatty acids that are essential to human health for certain vital functions and benefits. Alpha-linolenic acid (ALA) is essential for eye, nerve, and membrane development. Eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) are important for the production of prostaglandins, a hormone-like substance, that usually helps to regulate blood pressure, inflammation, neurological functions, hormone production, etc. in the human body. The strongest health benefit of omega-3 for women is related to heart health by maintaining a regular heart rhythm, reducing blood pressure, lowering blood fat levels, and slowing down the rate at which our arteries get clogged up. A recent study of the effect of Omega 3 Fatty Acids on major depressive disorder (MDD) and Hot Flashes (VMS) in Perimenopausal and menopausal women showed significant improvement of symptoms. As stated in the published report: “In this open trial, we found promising evidence that omega-3 fatty acids may be efficacious for the treatment of MDD and hot flashes.” Also stated, “More data are needed to inform the treatment of women who experience MDD and hot flashes during the menopausal transition. Given the significant number of perimenopausal and postmenopausal women who experience MDD, the potential risks of hormone therapy and antidepressants, and the broad acceptability of CAM therapies, omega-3 fatty acids are an important potential treatment alternative. These preliminary data support further study of omega-3 fatty acids for MDD and VMS during the menopausal transition” Omega-3 is essential for our body to function, but is not made by the body. So, you should be eating foods that are rich in omega-3 such as fish like salmon, mackerel, herring, sardines, tuna, scallops, and krill. Nuts including walnuts and Brazil nuts. Plants such as flaxseeds or flaxseed oil, algae, cauliflower, collard greens, and hummus. These are all great ways to get those healthy fats. If you are not a fan of these foods, or may not be eating enough of them on a regular basis, then an Omega-3 supplement may be for you. Vitamin B Complex Vitamin B refers to eight different vitamins. All B vitamins play a role in converting food into energy in the body. Each vitamin also has a unique role in a person’s health. The eight B vitamins are: B-1 (thiamine) B-2 (riboflavin) B-3 (niacin) B-5 (pantothenic acid) B-6 (pyridoxine) B-7 (biotin) B-9 (folic acid) B-12 (cobalamin) Vitamin B Complex is a supplement with all of the essential B vitamins included and may be one of the most important supplements for menopausal women. They are critically important for maintaining energy levels as they help the body use fat, carbohydrates, and protein for fuel, as well as assist in maintaining the function of the nervous system. Low levels of B-complex vitamins have been linked to increased anxiety and irritability while decreasing the ability to handle stress. During menopause, stress levels are commonly elevated, so by increasing the dietary intake of Vitamin B, you may be able to lower your stress levels. Other benefits of Vitamin B Complex include healthy adrenal function, nervous system support, and help with mood swings. Many women will get their Vitamin B intake from their varied and healthy diets, while others may take a supplement. Vitamin D3 Did you know that Vitamin D acts much the same as a hormone in our bodies? Just like hormones it plays an important role in many bodily functions including our immune system, maintaining healthy bones by helping us absorb calcium, reduces inflammation and in our muscle movement by sending messages from the brain to the body and back again. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to several health conditions including cancer, infectious diseases, cardiovascular disease, and auto-immune diseases. An essential nutrient for good bone and muscle health, Vitamin D supports muscle cell functions and helps to absorb calcium. Vitamin D can regulate the growth and function of immune cells, which are critical for a healthy immune system. Vitamin D is especially important to women during midlife, as it plays a role in moderating several symptoms and concerns of perimenopause and menopause. Recent studies link menopausal symptoms to Vitamin D deficiency. Declining estrogen levels can contribute to the symptoms of Vitamin D deficiency, as estrogen is responsible for increasing the activity of the enzyme responsible for activating Vitamin D. Some of these symptoms include fatigue, mood swings, brain fog, insomnia, depression, and weight gain. Menopausal women are at higher risk of osteoporosis, so you’ll need Vitamin D3 (and K2, see below) for the calcium to be able to get to your bones. Be sure to have your Vitamin D levels checked so you will know whether you need more sunshine (sunscreen blocks about 90% of our Vitamin D), or a Vitamin D3 supplement. Preventing osteoporosis is of the utmost importance at this stage of the game. Vitamin K-2 Surprisingly, most people have never heard of Vitamin K2. As a matter of fact, it is rarely found in the Western diet, and gets very little attention. According to Healthline.com, Vitamin K2 just may be the missing link between diet and several chronic diseases. Vitamin K2 was originally discovered in 1929 as an essential nutrient for blood coagulation (blood clotting). It was reported in a German scientific journal as Koagulationsvitamin. This is where the “K” came from. This is an essential vitamin to be taking along with your Vitamin D3, for its ability to regulate calcium deposition. What this means is, it promotes the calcification of bones, thus preventing osteoporosis, while preventing the calcification of blood vessels and the kidneys. Calcium build-up in the arteries around your heart is a huge risk factor for heart disease (the 1 killer of women), so supplementing with Vitamin K2 may help prevent this life-threatening condition. Magnesium Why you need Magnesium as a menopausal woman: As an important mineral in the human body, magnesium influences mood regulation, supports healthy bones and hormone levels, as well as being involved in hundreds of biochemical reactions throughout the body. It is a mineral that helps keep a woman’s body functioning properly by supporting energy production, muscle function, and the maintenance of healthy bones and teeth. Approximately 60% of your magnesium is stored in your bone and therefore is crucial in preventing osteoporosis. Did you know that osteoporosis can affect up to 30% or more of menopausal women and increases with age? I personally take magnesium daily as it helps me with sleep. Magnesium may help promote sleep by regulating the body’s circadian rhythms (the body’s natural clock) and increasing relaxation. Magnesium also plays a key role in brain function, stress response, and mood regulation, which may affect the progression and onset of depression and anxiety. Did you know that heart disease is the leading cause of death in post-menopausal women? And that lower levels of magnesium are linked to poor heart health? In one study of 3,713 post-menopausal women, high magnesium levels were associated with lower inflammatory markers related to heart disease, which indicated better heart health. Post-menopausal women are at a higher risk for magnesium deficiency, so be sure to monitor this mineral for your heart health. Check with your healthcare provider before beginning Magnesium supplementation. Gut Probiotic Fluctuating estrogen during perimenopause can lead to disruption of the microbiomes of our gut and vagina, leading to multiple menopause symptoms. Studies have shown that both the gut and vaginal microbiomes are affected by the level of female hormones in the body. Probiotics provide the body with healthy bacteria that live not only in the intestines, but the mouth and genital areas as well. By restoring the gut microbiome, you may just reduce those menopausal symptoms. Vitamin C The importance of Vitamin C during menopause: Needed for growth and repair throughout the body. It is wound healing and promotes immune function. Important in the prevention of heart disease. Helps with making collagen, which is essential for making the connective tissue that keeps us nice and stable. Needed to produce ATP: (Adenosine triphosphate), which is an energy-carrying molecule found in the cells of all living things. ATP captures chemical energy obtained from the breakdown of food molecules and releases it to fuel other cellular processes. This is what keeps us going and can prevent fatigue. As a recap, here are the essential supplements you may want to consider for your optimal menopausal health: *Please check with your healthcare provider before beginning any supplementation. Omega 3 Fish Oil Vitamin B Complex Vitamin D3 Vitamin K-2 Magnesium Probiotic Vitamin C One of my passions as a health and hormone coach is to curate safe and holistic products for my Magical Ladies. You can find some of my top picks for supplements in my Menopause Market on my website. Click here: MENOPAUSE MARKET. As well, if you’d like some of my brand recommendations, please email me at Lorraine@TheMagicOfMenopause.com, and I’ll fill you in! Here’s to your Magical health and life! For more info, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit my website! Read more from Lorraine! Lorraine Miano, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine As a certified health and hormone coach as well as a post-menopausal woman herself, Lorraine Miano discovered her passion for offering menopause advocacy, support, and resources to women in all phases of menopause through health coaching, proper nutrition, and preventive lifestyle choices. She received her certifications as a Health Coach and hormone health expert from The Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Lorraine has been able to help even more women by writing and publishing her first book, The Magic of Menopause: A Holistic Guide to Get Your Happy Back! The book helps guide women through the struggles they face as they begin menopause and helps tackle the daily changes such as balancing hormones holistically, getting a better night’s sleep, and reducing or eliminating hot flashes, to name a few. It has been named one of the Top Ten Books on Menopause by The London Evening Standard and has reached 1 on Amazon’s Best Seller’s List. Lorraine loves to encourage women with her mantra, “Menopause is NOT an ending! IT IS a new beginning!”

Written by: Samantha Touchais, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. So you want to launch your own business but don’t know where to start? You want to create a business that will give you time and money freedom but you need the right business idea to do so? Then please read on. The world has been turned upside lately and with this change has come an increase in people looking at better ways to spend their time and to pay their bills. Since 2019 there has been a surge of new businesses being born, with some countries such as the United States registering a growth in business start ups by up to 24%. [1] Many of these businesses have popped up overnight without the right thought and insight that will make them a lasting success. Businesses appear to be closing just as quickly as they are opening. So how do you avoid being just another statistic and actually create a business that will not only be a financial success, allowing you to step wholly into being your own boss, but that will bring meaning, purpose and most of all joy to your life? While there are many ways to create a business, there are certain steps that need to be taken to ensure you are on the right path that will take you to your goal. Here are the steps that my 22 years as a corporate marketing expert, and my 6 years as a successful entrepreneur, have taught me: Step 1 – Know your why The first step is to get really clear on why you want to start your own business in the first place. I am a business coach and I find that most of my clients have multiple reasons for wanting to start their own business and while money is one of them, things like freedom to choose how to spend their time, the freedom to be their own boss and flexibility of location are what drive them into the world of entrepreneurship. Knowing why you want to run your own business is what will pull you through the tough times and will guide you when you feel lost. Step 2 – Discover your passions If money were no object, what is the one thing you would love to spend most of your time doing (apart from sleeping!)? Is there a cause that you are really passionate about? Is there a difference you would like to make in the world? Is there a subject you could spend all day talking about? At this stage, don’t worry about what will actually bring you money, just focus on what lights you up and what will get you jumping out of bed on a Monday morning happy to start the week. Step 3 – What skills and experience do you have? It is not always necessary to get additional qualifications when you want to start your own business. Reviewing your previous experience, including time at home looking after the children, managing a local sports team or volunteering at a dog shelter for example, as well as time spent in previous jobs, will give you a good idea of the broad range of skills you have probably picked up by now. Make a list of everything you have to offer, and if you run out of ideas, or find this task difficult, ask friends and family members about your skills and strengths, as well as past and present colleagues. List absolutely everything without editing or filtering! Step 4 – See what kind of business appeals to you Spend time checking out other people’s businesses, particularly via social media, and see what kind of business appeals to you. Is it more of a service-based business that you would like to start, or a product-based one? Do you want to build a personal brand and deal directly with your client or customer or do you want to be more behind the scenes? Do you want to provide products or services in an area that will help people with their health and wellbeing or do you prefer to work in a fast-moving consumer goods type of industry? Really spend time seeing what options are available to you – online, offline, coaching, mentoring, product sales, teaching via online courses, creative freelancing, the list goes on. Listen to your body and see how you feel when you explore each idea. If anything feels heavy or unexciting, it is probably not for you. Step 5 – Who do you want to work with? Some people love children and could spend all day with them. Other people would love to work with those transitioning from one stage of life to another. Perhaps you are an introvert and want to help others like you, or perhaps you feel really passionate about financial education and feel that parents and teachers would be the best people to have as clients. Do you like being around go-getters and action-takers or do you prefer to help people who are feeling stuck and unmotivated to move forward with their lives? Remember that you will soon be spending a lot of time in this business you are building so you may as well work with people who you enjoy spending time with and helping. Creating a profile of your ideal client is a crucial step to complete before going live with your business idea. Yet many people skip this step as it can feel overwhelming and difficult to do. I have created a free guide to help you clearly and accurately define your ideal client, quickly and easily. No overwhelm allowed! You can grab your copy here: https://www.samanthatouchais.com/defining-your-ideal-client Step 6 – It’s time for research You should now be starting to feel that you are getting closer to a business idea, but don’t worry if you are not quite there yet. This is no easy task so be kind to yourself and know that you will eventually gain clarity on what it is you want to do. You may just need to sit with it for a bit longer. Once you do have a better idea it is time to start researching what exists, what ideas seem to have gained traction online and what types of businesses are actually making money! Once you know the kind of person you want to work with and how you want to help them (in other words, what products or services you want to sell) then you can join Facebook groups where these people hang out and listen to their online conversations. What questions are they asking in the groups? What struggles do they seem to be facing? What solutions are people offering? Get clear on what it is they need and the gaps they feel they have, as there is no point trying to solve a problem for them that actually doesn’t exist. Step 7 – Map out ideas and get testing! The beauty of the internet and today’s technology is that in many cases we can easily create and test out an idea without spending too much money upfront. You don’t need a highly professional and fancy website straight off the bat, and in fact, keeping things simple at the beginning will limit the overwhelm and will give you a better read on the market and how well your initial product or service ideas are being received. Nothing is set in stone and many business owners have started out with one idea and then quickly changed when they realised that the market wanted something different. While consistency is key to building a viable business, flexibility is also a strength of businesses that have stood the test of time. It is all about balance. I would not recommend investing in short-term fad business ideas as the market will have moved on before you have managed to establish yourself (drop shipping is possibly the only exception to this), but understanding what people really need in their lives, and that they will continue to need in some form or other is the best basis for a long-term business. There always need to be new buyers to tap into or current clients or customers to maintain. And remember, even if your idea already exists, you are unique and by leveraging your personal brand along with your products or services you will be able to stand out from the competition. Final word Creating a business from scratch is no easy feat. Trust me, I have done it four times! Never feel you have to go it alone and please don’t feel that you have to have all the answers. Even the most successful entrepreneurs in the world have asked for help at some time and many have had (and still have) coaches and mentors guiding them and supporting them. There is no shame in trying and failing. There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in starting something and realizing it was not for you after all. Pivot or move away from it completely. One of the best things I have loved about having my own businesses is that I get to see ideas brought to life in a way that changes my clients’ lives for the better. It is such a privilege, and I can’t wait for you to experience the same! If you would like my help creating your online (or offline) business, then there are several ways I can help. Let’s start by jumping on a free 30-minute strategy call to get to know each other and to allow me to show you how I can help and the benefits you will receive. Just follow this link to book the call. You can find Samantha on her website, wellbeingseries, and LinkedIn! Read more from Samantha! Samantha Touchais, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Samantha Touchais is a Business and Mindset Coach helping women create a safe and secure path to launching their dream business by providing them with the support and tools to make it a success. She has over 20 years of marketing and strategy experience working for large international companies worldwide, and it was her love of how the mind works and how to create the right mindset for success that led her into coaching. She lives and breathes marketing and mindset and loves sharing her learnings with others. Author of four books and the creator of the Well Being Series (a collection of apps and books that provide meditations and affirmations for well-being based on the latest neuro-science), she loves exploring Europe, where she has been for the last 14 years but misses the beaches of her native Australia.

Written by: Savannah Cheon, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Many research claims that gratitude is the foundation for happiness and inner peace that affects our general happiness, mood, and well-being. Being grateful is such a powerful feeling to have. In positive psychology research, it says that gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.[1] Hearing about the many benefits of gratitude, I started writing the five things that I was grateful for every morning or even put an alarm to think about my gratitude list. It surely was an uplifting morning routine to have, however it started to become automatic and not really able to feel the grateful feeling especially when I was having a bad day. Of course, it is easy to think about what is grateful in our lives and naturally feel grateful when exciting things are happening, but many times people tend to focus on what is not working and complain instead of remembering what we already have. When I started implementing these two steps in my gratitude practice, I started to feel more joyful and truly appreciate what I have in my life. When I was feeling grateful and chose to focus on what is positive in my life, many areas of my life started shifting positively as well. 1. Be grateful for what you have as if you will lose it if you don’t Have you ever moved to a new place where it is worse than the previous place? Have you ever got fired from a job? Have you ever lost a person that you loved? Most people have taken some things for granted and realized more value when they have lost them. I recently changed my environment and reflected on wonderful things about my old environment and noticed some opportunities that I have missed out. It led me to realize how important it is to focus on the things that I currently have and appreciate them in case I might not have them in the future. When I decided to look for any simple good things that I currently have in my life, I was getting inspired to how I can maximize my current resources and feeling more joyful. 2. Make sure to write it down on a piece of paper As I mentioned in my previous article “How to Use Affirmation to Change Your Inner Beliefs”, writing things down has a different effect on our brain than simply thinking or saying it out loud. Ever since feeling the powerful effects of gratitude myself, writing a gratitude journal has been my morning and evening rituals. Although people don’t wake up feeling excited every day, writing a gratitude journal is a mental exercise to shift the consciousness to see the brighter side of things. For example, if you currently hate your job and many complaints start to come up when you are thinking about the job, write down any positive things about the job. It can be such as “I’m grateful to even have my job. I know many people who are unemployed. I’m grateful to have my job since it gives me financial support to buy my basic needs. I’m grateful to have my job since I have easygoing coworkers to work with.” It can be any simple thing that other people might not have in terms of the job. When you apply this gratitude journaling in any area of your life, you will find more inner peace in terms of dealing with the things that you found problematic. In addition to the gratitude journal, the journaling prompt of “What am I looking forward to today?” is another way to shift our brain to look for more positive things from the morning. When we are going through difficult days, people often think of the worst and how to prepare for it. When we set our minds to prepare for the worst, we are in a fearful state and tend to find more negative things and be in that cycle. However, when we do the opposite and think about what pleasant surprises we will experience today, not only we will appreciate the simple joy such as kind service from the waiter, eating our favorite food, etc. but also we may feel lucky as we may find more unexpected pleasant surprises. We all have days or weeks that we believe that things can’t get any worse. If you are having difficulty seeing the grateful things in those days, sometimes it is better to acknowledge your feelings and take a rest. If you are forcing yourself to get out of the stuck mindset that you are in, you will feel more resistant. When you take enough time for yourself and are ready to move forward, try the two steps. As it is easy to go downward spiral when you believe that things can’t get any worse, when you focus on gratitude and what you already have, more good things will surprise you. Visit Savannah's website to learn more. Read more from Savannah! Savannah Cheon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Savannah Cheon is a Whole Person Certified Coach, an alumnus of Harvard University, a CEO of Aurora Luxury Hotel, writer, and blogger. Savannah has been a digital nomad throughout her life. She helps rootless digital nomads and world travelers who left home for adventure and want to find a sense of connection wherever they are. She helps people build a sense of home within them that they can feel secure, create meaningful relationships, have a sense of belonging, and enjoy their lifestyle fully. She is a firm believer of the quote, "Your mind is a powerful place, and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way," and she incorporates the Whole Person Coaching method and NLP tools to work with the mindset. References: [1] “Giving thanks can make you happier”. Aug 14 2021. Harvard Health publishing

Written by: Kiesha King-Brown, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The fastest-growing, most successful companies position themselves as ecosystem players. Ecosystems, also considered hubs within networks, can consist of service providers, suppliers, businesses that provide complimentary products or services, and customers. They are businesses and organizations that strategically choose to partner for the purpose of mutually beneficial relationships… an alignment within vision and accelerated growth. Some of the most well-known companies are ecosystem players including, but not exclusive to, Uber, Amazon, Fitbit, Google, Toyota, and Apple. As an example, Uber’s ecosystem was established for the purpose of increasing customer loyalty and, in turn, revenue. Uber created a partnership for Uber Fresh, now Uber Eats to delivers food in partnership with restaurants. It has Uber Feed used in collaboration with the SnapChat card for the busy person in route to sync up their food arrival time with the car arrival time. And Uber Cash, a closed-loop payment system. Uber also utilizes Request API in collaboration with travel and hospitality partners for improved customer experience for their Uber customers. All of these partnerships are a benefit to Uber’s customers and add value to its bottom line. The win is mutual. The collaborations a no-brainer. Ecosystems create value through relationships, enabling the exchange of goods and services and people resources or ‘expertise as a service’. They allow for a shift from a singular organization lens to a lens that brings a diversity of thought and experiences. An ecosystem culture creates conditions for constantly evolving mindsets, mentorships, and maximization of profit. It allows each organization to meet more effectively the constantly-changing expectations of diverse customer segments in real-time. Small to mid-sized businesses can find ways to create an ecosystem as part of their growth strategy: Find a balance of skills/strengths and an alignment of passion and values Align players around a common vision and create a roadmap for the shared vision Formalize ways to build trust Clarify individualized benefits and gain Define common KPIs and a system where both earn or for allocating revenue and profit Create a process for establishing new partnerships and transitioning from existing ones Decide how to partner to accelerate innovation cycles If your business is looking to redefine or create consistency in success, add an ecosystem to your strategy and your culture. Prioritize collaborative strategy over competitive strategy. For more info, follow Kiesha on Facebook, LinkedIn and visit her website! Read more from Kiesha! Kiesha King-Brown, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kiesha King-Brown is a business savvy, customer-centric tech enthusiast. She partners with businesses to maximize the effectiveness of branding, marketing, and strategy with the power of AI. Kiesha also helps Startups and businesses with intuitive go-to-market strategies and the only smart platform, Pillar Five, that functions like a Smart GPS to get businesses from Seed stage through maturity successfully and supports a technology-based ecosystem. Kiesha has a Bachelor’s in Marketing, an MBA in Management, is a member of the AI Academy for Marketers and a Certified Executive Coach. Kiesha has held Sr. Leadership positions in Fortune 200 Retail Companies serving up to the Territory Level and working on company level strategy. She has also helped small businesses improve strategy and profit in own her consulting business.

Written by: Barry Borgerson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Recapitulation: This series of articles for Brainz Magazine builds upon on the assumption that we all operate in two modes – a thinking mode (our thinking-self) and an automatic mode (our auto-self). Parts 1-3 of this article introduced our realities-determining auto-contexts, showed how they are generalizations of Thomas Kuhn’s paradigms, and identified the accumulation of anomalies as the mechanism to determine the validity or invalidity of the internal realities created by auto-contexts. These Parts also described the Abilities Mismatch, which identifies that our thinking-self prowess now creates disruptions that overwhelm our previous capability to manage their auto-self ramifications. This mind-level mismatch creates the underlying reason why we have fundamentally hit the end of the more than two centuries of growing prosperity and well-being in the West that resulted from the Science/Enlightenment Revolution. You also saw two automatic mental mechanisms that block auto-context (cultures, worldviews, values, attitudes) reconstructions in the form of the certainty illusion (and delusion) and the Comfort Imperative. We identified that a necessary path to future successes is to Believe but Verify when dealing with our internal certainties. Part 4 presented an overview of how to transform “in here” certainties (buried in auto-contexts) when they don’t correspond with facts “out there” or align with our success needs. Now we are in a position to move from understanding general concepts and improvement processes to solving specific problems in crucial domains. Part 5: Business: Repeated Business Successes Now Require Conquering Auto-Contexts We start our journey into solving specific, pressing problems by focusing on the necessity to manage the auto-context impacts on business successes. Anomalies for the “Sustainable Success” Genre of Books When you learn to look for them, Phil Rosenzweig’s book, The Halo Effect: ...and the 8 Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers , is loaded with anomalies with respect to the worldview that emerged about the widely read genre of “sustainable success” books. “For all of the secrets and formulas, for all of the self-proclaimed thought leadership, success in business is as elusive as ever. It’s probably more elusive than ever, with the increasingly global competition and technological change moving at faster and faster rates – which might explain why we’re tempted by promises of breakthroughs and secrets of quick fixes in the first place. Desperate circumstances push us to look for miracle cures.” Or, in our current terms, growing discomfort at the widespread failure to directly manage “soft” success factors causes many people to fall for seduction traps in the form of simplistic solutions. “In 1984, Business Week ran a follow-up story under the title ‘Who’s Excellent Now?’ By their reckoning, at least 14 of the [43] companies highlighted by Peters and Waterman [ In Search of Excellence ] just two years earlier had ‘lost their luster.’ Many companies had ‘suffered significant earnings declines that stem from serious business problems, management problems, or both.’ Other companies were clinging tenuously to their status as Excellent companies but had been ‘humbled by blunders.’” We should view these as anomalies in the assertion of finding a formula for “lasting” success. “Built to Last was published in 1994 and became an immediate hit. Inc. magazine gushed: ‘The In Search of Excellence for the 1990s has arrived.’” This is how the press indirectly aided establishing the “best practices” business worldview by using Excellence as an exemplar to create instant credibility for a new version of “discovering” a magical formula for sustainable success. Business leaders must learn to Believe but Verify! “For the five years after the study ended, only five companies improved their profitability while 11 declined, with one unchanged. [More anomalies in the viability of the worldview about “sustainable success”] Most of Collins and Porras’s visionary companies, chosen precisely because they had done so well for so long, fell back to earth. The ‘master blueprint for long-term prosperity’ turns out to be largely a delusion.” But these books sold extremely well because the press had inadvertently constructed a widespread certainty delusion that literature searches and retrospective interviews could “discover” a simple elixir of lasting business successes in an era of massive technology-driven disruptions. “Yet no one seemed to look closely at the shortcomings [read, “anomalies”], because Good to Great had such an encouraging message: You, too, can transform your good company into a Great one. Collins was explicit on this point. He wrote, ‘Greatness is not a matter of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice.’” That is a massive anomaly because we cannot choose to manage our auto-self in real time and none of these books provided any indication of understanding the root cause of our problems and the need to make periodic transformations to our opaque automatic activities. The Halo book is loaded with anomalies about the “best practices” genre of books that became so popular because the relentless hyperbole built up around them constructed a widespread worldview within the business community that they were a panacea. We can look at many of Rosenzweig’s halos and delusions in his Halo book as a series of anomalies with respect to the viability of the widespread worldview that these books could solve our increasing “soft” problems. These problems were actually due to the Abilities Mismatch and our previous inability to understand and manage the auto-self. The widespread failure to Believe but Verify led to the misplaced popularity of this genre of “sustainable success” books. The success path for business leaders is to forget about any hope of finding a static formula for “sustainable success.” Rather, they need to acquire the capabilities to transform the auto-self and particularly auto-contexts to create a long-term series of repeated successes, which our relentlessly disruptive business environments will increasingly require. I have created an analysis of Rosenzweig’s Halo book through the lens of 2Selfs Worldview using 2Selfs Theory that shows how the sustainable-success books had no chance to produce the level of results they promised because they failed to take into account auto-self activities. You can obtain a free PDF of that analysis by sending an email to me at Barry@2Selfs.com . Anomalies in Our Abilities to Manage the Human Ramifications of the Fourth Industrial Revolution View Deficiencies in Handling the Human Ramifications of the Fourth Industrial Revolution as Anomalies: We should look at the deficiencies that Klaus Schwab identifies in his book The Fourth Industrial Revolution as anomalies in the current worldview we use to solve the human ramifications of these technology tsunamis. We will do well to recognize that existing business worldviews focus primarily on thinking-self, knowledge-based (“hard” or solid) problem solving and secondarily on managing auto-contexts, which currently consists primarily of worldviews based on anemic foundations for managing “soft” (or amorphous) success factors.` Fourth Industrial Revolution Anomalies: Here is a list of some of the fundamental deficiencies, which we can usefully view as anomalies, that Schwab reveals with respect to our current worldviews that provide the foundation for solving the rapidly escalating “soft success factors.” These issues identify current chronic inadequacies in dealing with the human ramifications of the technologies that he characterizes as driving the Fourth Industrial Revolution: (italics mine) “Decision-makers are too often caught in traditional, linear (and non-disruptive) thinking .” “The more we will examine ourselves and the underlying social models that these technologies embody and enable, the more we will have an opportunity to shape the revolution in a manner that improves the state of the world.” “The requisite institutional framework to govern the diffusion of innovation and mitigate the disruption is inadequate at best and, at worst, absent all together.” “It is a leader’s ability to continually learn, adapt and challenge his or her own conceptual and operating models of success that will distinguish the next generation of successful business leaders.” “Strategic planning is being challenged by the need for companies to operate faster and with greater agility .” “The urgent need to look at oneself as a business leader and at one’s own organization. Is there evidence of the organization and leadership capacity to learn and change ? “Does the culture accept innovations ?” “This…must compel them to challenge the assumptions of their operating teams and find new ways of doing things.” A Clarion Call for a Mental Revolution: The above deficiencies are anomalies in the business community’s available worldviews and processes to handle the human ramifications of the Fourth Industrial Revolution. These inadequacies are so fundamental that no amount of incremental (normal) improvements to our current problem-solving capabilities will empower us to conquer these anomalies as long as we keep addressing them indirectly as “soft” success factors . We require disruptive (revolutionary) improvements to our capabilities to address them directly and effectively. As such, we should view these anomalies from Schwab as a clarion call for a necessary mental revolution so we can take maximum advantage and avoid the negative consequences of the Fourth Industrial Revolution. We now understand that revolutionary new capabilities require new types of processes operating within a different auto-context in the form of a new problem-solving worldview. 2Selfs Theory working within the problem-solving foundation of 2Selfs Worldview is currently the only credible path to achieve that positive outcome. Schwab also makes additional points including the following. “Knowing what is required to thrive is one thing; acting upon it is another. Where is all this leading and how can we best prepare?” The major claim made throughout this article, and I have extremely high confidence I am right about this, is that a necessary part of the way we can “best prepare” is to conquer the auto-self. And, the most crucial aspect of that is to learn to understand and manage auto-contexts in the many incarnations in which they control our lives including our business successes. “The eventual course that the fourth industrial revolution takes will ultimately be determined by our ability to shape it in a way that unleashes its full potential.” The Third Industrial Revolution created the Abilities Mismatch, and the Fourth Industrial Revolution will only exacerbate that fundamental problem. Therefore, the Fourth Industrial Revolution will only accelerate the unintended technology-caused consequences to so many of our social systems and personal responsibilities. The only way to unleash the “full potential” of the Fourth Industrial Revolution is to conquer auto-contexts. I have created a white paper that analyzes the deficiencies that Schwab identifies from a 2Selfs Theory perspective and outlines processes to overcome them. You can obtain that free white paper by sending a note to me at Barry@2Selfs.com . Business-Process Innovation Deathtrap : “That is how we do it here.” While I was conducting a four-session workshop for top management of a company on making commitments and holding people accountable for their commitments, I was leading the participants through how auto-contexts operate. One of the participants, Chris, who headed a design department, got an “ah ha” moment that he courageously shared with us. He said that an intern came to him some time ago to ask why they used a specific process. Chris said he explained to the intern, “That is how we do it here.” When the intern asked him again later, Chris reported being annoyed and telling him, “That’s just the way we do it, stop worrying about it, and get on with your assignment.” The intern had the courage to come back for a third try. This time he told Chris that he realized he was just an intern but that he was there to learn and he just could not figure out why they used that specific process. He said that he would appreciate it if Chris would take the time to explain it to him. Chris reported that finally out of frustration he decided to sit down with the intern and explain it to him so that the intern would get off his back. This is where Chris bravely revealed to the assembled group of his peers and boss his astonishment to realize he could not explain it at all. He said it was obvious to him that the current problem-solving process was the correct one to use, but when he examined it closely, he couldn’t explain why. Chris finally figured out that he had probably learned the process when he started with the company many years earlier and just accepted it without question. When Chris made his hidden assumptions explicit, he was able to analyze them with the intern and realize that although the process built upon these assumptions (i.e., this worldview) did work, or else they would have noticed a problem with results, it wasn’t optimum and a better problem-solving process was available. Chris said that learning about auto-contexts enabled him to understand what happened to him because when it occurred he was dumbstruck about it. I was able to use Chris’s gutsy disclosure to help others at the workshop understand that auto-contexts, and particularly shared auto-contexts in the form of professional worldviews or organizational cultures, are hidden assumptions or beliefs that appear to us as the way things “really are” or as “the way we do it.” Chris’s story also helped the participants understand that once we can make a hidden worldview explicit, we have the opportunity to test it and reconstruct it, which usually leads to a better results. Greater Successes Await Those Who Can Accept Challenges to Their Certainties: We should recognize a couple of general principles from this encounter. Our auto-context-based certainties often mislead us – we become certain we are correct even though when forced to defend our certainties, the thinking-self is often clueless. Also, we should all actively challenge each other’s hidden assumptions (even the deepest “certainties”), and we need to do our best to pay attention and bravely examine our own assumptions and consciously look for anomalies when others challenge them or ask for explanations. Believe but Verify! We Need to Change the Culture that Controls How We Create Culture Changes We know that auto-contexts control many aspects of our realities including our problem-solving worldviews, our cultures for businesses and other social systems, and our values. Fourth Industrial Revolution technologies are now creating business-environment disruptions at an accelerating rate, and those regularly require changes to business cultures including missions and strategies. What we desperately need now is an auto-context that creates a reality for us that we must frequently reconstruct this type of auto-context. We Need a Culture that Empowers Culture Change The Inescapable Need to Transform Cultures Systematically: A fundamental part of business cultures must be that most elements of a company’s culture will become obsolete. That has always been the case, but it previously took place so slowly that the changes could occur inter-generationally. That is, successive generations of top management, often from outside the organization, could drive the culture changes. The explicit focus of Schwab’s identification of the Fourth Industrial Revolution is formalizing the incremental but accelerating process of technology-driven changes in business and other environments. However, as you saw, Schwab also points out in many ways that business leaders fundamentally lack the capability to navigate their company successfully through realizing the potential benefit of these amazing technologies. We have now passed the transition point where business leaders must drive culture changes multiple times during their careers. That will become a new success imperative. However, very few business leaders currently know how to make culture changes systematically, reliably, and quickly enough to meet escalating needs. The path to overcome that chronic deficiency is learning to reconstruct auto-contexts. And, that will require leaders to progress from seat-of-the-pants and empirical theories for creating culture changes to root-cause-theory transformations that model the auto-context mental mechanism that constitutes a culture. Transformable Cultures: A crucial culture change we need to make for all businesses and indeed all types of organizations is to become transformable . One aspect of becoming transformable relates to reconstructing counterproductive behaviors in leaders so the company can execute at a peak level to succeed within rapidly intensifying global competition. I will address behavior-habit transformations in my next Brainz Magazine article. An even more important aspect of becoming transformable is to construct a fundamental part of business cultures that frames the reality that elements of their culture will inevitably become obsolete quickly and therefore will require periodic culture changes. Transformable leaders will have a long-term competitive advantage over other leaders who fail to acquire this discontinuously greater leadership capability. Stop Expecting and Accepting Business Failures: The Halo and Fourth Industrial Revolution books identified the problem of increasing failures in established companies in different ways. Halo: “Guess how many companies on the S&P 500 in 1957 were still on the S&P 500 in 1997, 40 years later? Only 74… And of the 74 survivors, guess how many outperformed the S&P 500 over that period? Only 12 out of 74. The other 62 survived, yes, but they didn’t thrive.” Fourth Industrial Revolution: “The historical reduction in the average lifespan of a corporation listed on the S&P 500 has dropped from around 60 to approximately 18 [years].” Culture Changes – Reconstructing a Company’s Mission/Strategies We can observe how making timely culture changes often leads to future successes and why not making them frequently leads to failures by examining the video-rental industry. Video rentals started with mom-and-pop stores renting VHS videos. Then, Blockbuster emerged with a different business model that relied on standard-looking storefronts and volumes of scale, which allowed them early access to new movies. They grew rapidly by opening company-owned stores, creating franchises, and acquiring other multi-store businesses in the US and abroad. Blockbuster then made the easy technology-driven culture change to renting DVDs using their existing business model. However, Netflix created a different business model that mailed DVDs to customers and did not charge late fees but worked on a subscription plan based on the number of simultaneous DVDs you could have. Blockbuster was not able to make their culture change to respond to Netflix partly because they had invested heavily in brick-and-mortar. Along the way, as always happens, a business-model culture arose that contained a certainty illusion for them that their business model was correct and therefore would continue to produce excellent business results. Then Netflix made a huge business-model culture change in launching a streaming service. That also represented a problem-solving worldview change because they used an emerging technology to alter the way they delivered videos. Blockbuster may have survived the culture-lock problem of sticking with storefronts and late-return penalties for DVD rentals, but the failure to respond to the culture change of video streaming buried them. So stuck in their storefront business model were they that they even passed when Netflix was struggling financially and offered to sell themselves to Blockbuster for $50 million in 2000 (how’s that for certainty-illusion myopia. Netflix’s market cap was $237 billion on July 1, 2021, and Blockbuster has long since gone bankrupt). The articulated reason for culture lock-in cases like this is that if they started streaming, it would eat away at their current business. But another unrecognized reason is the certainty illusion that their business model must be right. After all, it was not difficult for their thinking-self to figure out that the streaming business model was going to eat away at their DVD rental business, only someone else was going to get the new revenue. That same culture-lock problem took place several years earlier with the long-time iconic camera and film-processing company Kodak. They had tremendous internal digital-imaging capabilities but their leaders failed to launch the digital business because they claimed it would eat away at their film business, which of course happened anyway. Again, those are usually the external rationalizations – the real reasons are that people feel certain they are correct due to an auto-context-based certainty illusion. I had some personal touch points with the nascent digital-imaging business of Kodak, and you can see my analysis of what happened to them at the auto-context level by requesting my free short white-paper analysis at Barry@2Selfs.com . Blockbuster and Kodak are just two examples of succumbing to the innovation deathtrap , which results from the inability to understand the mental straitjacket of certainty illusions. Unfortunately, as technologies become broader and come at us faster, innovation deathtraps will become increasingly ubiquitous. Business leaders must find systematic ways to overcome this certainty-illusion-caused innovation-deathtrap path to failure. Believe but Verify! The following diagram illustrates the innovation deathtrap by using the auto-self imagery of an internal robot with a lens to identify auto-contexts. Anatomy of the Culture Innovation Deathtrap We will now turn our attention to the positive side of this issue by outlining how to make systematic culture change, which is a key process for creating a long series of repeated successes for companies and other types of organizations. Making Timely Culture Changes: Annual Culture-Reconstruction Retreats Systematically Turning Disruptive Technologies into Profit Streams: An excellent mechanism to escape innovation deathtraps is to turn strategy formation activities into something that consistently produces valuable business results. The real value of an annual strategic planning retreat does not come from identifying incremental (normal) improvements; each operating unit and functional area is quite capable of achieving these thinking-self-based improvements within existing auto-contexts (cultural elements) on their own. An annual retreat of top management can serve an enormously useful function if it focuses on searching out disruptive (revolutionary) technologies, products, processes, and marketing concepts within the company and using systematic auto-context-reconstruction processes to ensure that the company turns the best ones into new profit streams for the business. Accordingly, identifying these annual gatherings as Annual Culture-Reconstruction Retreats can focus on the real deep and quite possibly company-saving purpose. These culture-change retreats are difficult to execute effectively, so companies would do well to engage an expert culture-change coach to facilitate the first one or two until they can sustain the process using internal resources. This is a key element in becoming a transformable company that has the ability to execute a long-term series of repeated successes. Exposing Anomalies in the Business Culture: Another potent process can lead to beneficial culture changes during Annual Culture-Reconstruction Retreats. Have each leader who has the privilege of attending these culture-change meetings bring at least one culture element, make the assumptions explicit, and task every participant to identify possible anomalies. Culture Reconstruction Process We Need an Attitude Change in How We Go About Dealing with Attitudes Attitudes about Our Attitudes As with problem-solving worldviews and organizational cultures, our attitudes are buried within auto-contexts, which makes us certain they are correct. However, just like with the other forms of auto-contexts, we need to summon the courage to make explicit and then challenge our attitudes from time to time. We need to construct an attitude (auto-context) that attitudes are mental constructions that we can manage. Dysfunctional Attitude: “They Deserve It” William was the CEO of a mid-size design and manufacturing company. He was extremely effective at most aspects of his leadership role, but he had the dysfunctional habit of publicly humiliating his employees and especially his leadership team if they did something that displeased him. While the common approach to transforming errant auto-behaviors is to go through a direct reconstruction process, sometimes it works better to reconstruct the auto-context-based attitude that drives a dysfunctional behavior to reconstruct the bad habit indirectly. After probing repeatedly about how William experienced his overbearing behavior, he finally was able to recognize that it felt to him like “they deserve it” because he paid them a lot of money and they should not make such mistakes. I led William through understanding whether his rude behavior was getting the results he desired by drilling down with a set of open questions. “How do your outbursts empower people to do better next time”? “In what ways do your eruptions motivate or demotivate people you deal with”? “How are recipients of this behavior likely to hear and understand what you say when their focus is on their own discomfort?” “Tell me about the candor you are likely to receive regarding questions and concerns if your leaders fear your wrath.” After struggling through a series of such uncomfortable open questions, William decided to establish a clear intention to change his attitude so he could stop this counterproductive behavior. This is an example of making auto-context-based certainties explicit and then searching for anomalies by using the thinking-self to evaluate alignment, or lack thereof, with success goals. Believe but Verify! Coaching William to construct a new auto-context to replace his counterproductive attitude empowered him to stop his old dysfunctional behavior and replace it with a new productive behavior. William actually started calling his new approach “coaching people” rather than bullying them, and this was the key process that enabled him to achieve two of his Grand Goals – reducing turnover and increasing productivity. Don’t Get Maxed Out Business environments are fundamentally and irreversibly changing ever more frequently, and most leaders have maxed out because they have not recognized and learned to manage the need to make rapid, methodical culture changes in the business they run. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There Max was the CEO of a midsize manufacturing company with about 2000 employees at four locations. He had a long and storied career at his company but he failed to adapt to accelerating changes in the business world. He had a strong personality and tenacious focus on measurable results but suffered from significant deficits. Max did not recognize the importance of developing increasingly effective capabilities within his leadership team so they could outperform competitors in the global economy. Additionally, Max’s past successes so paralyzed him that he was chronically slow to incorporate new technologies into their operations and to make changes to their business strategies to counter emerging global competition. The company could not prosper going forward without having the ability to make culture changes more frequently, and Max had failed to develop the capabilities to accomplish these changes systematically. To be an effective CEO going forward, Max had to change. Sally, the company’s VP of HR, contacted us about coaching him. Sally lamented Max’s blindness to the importance of leadership development, of transforming his own counterproductive behaviors, and of making timely culture changes required of successful CEOs and other senior leaders in today’s business environment. His career was on the line. Aversion to “Soft” Success Factors During my first face-to-face meeting with Max and Sally, Max said he did not understand all of the hoopla about “soft” success factors. “I am a numbers guy. I came up through the manufacturing ranks and we are all about numbers there. When I became a divisional general manager, I still relied on hard data to achieve my successes not only for manufacturing but also for engineering by focusing on product delivery schedules and sales by relying on the metrics of the prospect funnel. “My approach must be correct because the board promoted me to CEO three years ago. Now Sally and the board are telling me that it’s not just what I get done but how I do it and that I must develop my leadership team much better. They also keep haranguing me that I need to become much better at making culture changes to respond to the growing changes in our environment.” Max was confused and frustrated. “Aren’t ‘hard’ success factors labeled that way because they are difficult to implement and require expertise and hard work?” “No,” I replied. “They are labeled ‘hard’ because they are solid, visible, and measurable, and the business community has theory-anchored processes to manage them.” “Then what are these so-called ‘soft’ success factors?” he asked. Max’s confusion is common for executives, including those with substantial successes behind them, so he missed the essence of the hard vs. soft metaphor. Max had received enough critical feedback that he agreed to participate in a 360° leadership survey. “So I get from the feedback that making culture changes and providing leadership development for my executive staff are examples of soft success factors, but I can’t for the life of me see what those two types of activities have in common.” I tried to convince Max not to be so hard on himself by telling him that the commonality is difficult to see because automatic human activities control both, which very few executives currently understand, to their detriment. Max was great at driving results using his well-honed thinking-self capabilities, but he only used seat-of-the-pants approaches to the auto-self-controlled soft success factors. That deficiency rendered his leadership capabilities increasingly inadequate After much delay, Max finally agreed to participate in a transformation coaching process, and he threw himself into that activity with the same passion he always applied to his “hard” management activities. Sadly, Too Late Regrettably, Max delayed too long to respond to Sally’s and the board’s intervention, so at just our fourth coaching session, Max struggled to tell me some bad news. “The board and I have been moving toward acquiring a smaller company, and they don’t feel that I’m up to integrating that business into ours in a way that maximizes the effectiveness of our joint businesses because they believe I can’t manage the necessary culture changes well enough. They have decided to replace me with somebody from outside our company.” As we abruptly terminated our nascent coaching engagement, Max lamented, “I had no clue about my robot-like automatic mode and that I needed to learn to ‘reprogram’ my own and that of others around me. I feel like I was blindsided, but the clues were there and I just did not understand them or know what to do about them. I indeed heard about a distinction between soft and hard success factors, but I never suspected they implied different modes of mental activities. I knew authors discussed management ‘science’ and some spoke about the ‘art’ of leadership, but I had no clue that the first was a thinking activity and the latter resided primarily in our automatic mode. I of course knew something about paradigms and cultures, but how was I to know how different they were to manage from the explicit, measurable processes I was so good at handling?” The above encounter occurred a few years ago. Now, business leaders must contend with the exploding technologies of the Fourth Industrial Revolution , the rippling effects of the coronavirus pandemic, and many other disruptive factors including the internal-immolation of self-governing systems and the increasingly widespread effects of climate change. This turmoil, especially the relentless march of products mostly built upon semiconductor technologies, has fundamentally and irretrievably changed the world of businesses and business leadership. The result is that leaders with impressive histories of success who rely on past processes and view many success factors through the hazy “soft” lens will fail to meet the needs of the Fourth Industrial Revolution. Don’t get maxed out! We Need to Construct a Foundational Business Auto-Context to Create Transformable Businesses Becoming Transformable as the Key to Future Leadership and Businesses Successes: For organizational leaders, becoming transformable will constitute the central mechanism that determines a systematically ascending career path. For businesses, becoming transformable in a way that endures through leadership transitions will be the central cultural element that leads to repeated company successes. For individuals, transformability will become a key capability to enhance their well-being. Constructing Transformability – The Unfair Business Advantage of the Future: The fundamental auto-context we need to establish for all successful business leaders and for businesses to survive leadership changes is to construct an auto-context that creates the cultural reality that businesses must transform themselves periodically, and in today’s technology-driven world, much more rapidly and therefore methodically. That is, we need to create the deep belief that transformations must occur frequently and that includes for auto-behaviors of the leaders, for problem-solving worldviews, and especially for such cultural elements as mission and strategy. From “Soft” to Methodical: One of the biggest problems we face with the many ways auto-contexts (and other types of auto-self activities including auto-behaviors) negatively impact businesses is that most leaders have not yet clearly understood the systemic headwinds they face in creating repeated successes for their company. The several examples in this article should help you gain insights into that issue because you have seen many anomalies for the hidden worldview based on an anemic visibility to something inadequately referred to as “soft” success factors. However, once business leaders understand the necessity to conquer auto-contexts to create repeated successes, the best of them will move rapidly to become transformable and therefore more systematically and consistently successful. The situation is quite different with our systemically crumbling self-governing systems to which we will turn our attention in Part 6. Here you will see overwhelming evidence of dysfunctions but a lack of any internal will within our political structures to make the transformations necessary to keep them from continuing down the path of self-destruction. Links to the previous parts of this article: Part 1 : Introduction: Conquering Auto-Contexts Is the Key to Restarting Widespread Prosperity and Well-Being Part 2 : Fundamentals of Auto-Contexts – Starting with Kuhn’s Paradigms Part 3 : Certainty Anomalies – We Need the Courage and the Wisdom to Notice Them Part 4 : Auto-Context Transformations: Yes, We Can Periodically Change Who We Are Connect with Barry on LinkedIn and visit his website for more information! Read more from Barry! Barry Borgerson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Barry Borgerson graduated from the University of California, Berkeley with a Ph.D. in computer science and one of his minors in the management of human resources. Barry co-led a multi-year DARPA-funded research project at the University and then went on to a highly successful career in the computer industry, starting as a lead computer architect and progressing through successive promotions to increasingly responsible leadership positions in technical management up to executive-level general management. When he took over a business that was failing and initiated actions to change some dysfunctional behaviors and the outdated culture of that business, he encountered so much counterproductive resistance that he started a long-term study into why very smart, highly educated, and extremely experienced people frequently cannot enact externally obvious changes they need to make to succeed. That study led him to discover that the underlying cause of so many dysfunctional activities and the tenacious, normally uncontrollable, resistance to deep changes reside in enigmatic automatic human activities that business leaders normally do not notice, cannot change on their own if others point out their dysfunctions, and often deny they even exist. Barry then developed 2Selfs Theory, a comprehensive, business-friendly, generalized theory of the mind that models the sometimes cooperation but often competition between our explicit problem-solving abilities (using our “thinking self”) and our previously mysterious involuntary activities (driven by our “automatic self”) and provides systematic, reliable processes to align our elusive automatic actions with our explicit intentions and needed success priorities. Dr. Borgerson has repeatedly verified the effectiveness of the pragmatic 2Selfs Theory by applying it in many venues including through transformation coaching to reconstruct counterproductive behavior habits of business leaders and to change obsolete or dysfunctional company cultures, where the transformation processes worked immediately and repeatedly as the theory predicted.

Written by: Liz Merrill, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. As a divorce mediator and divorce coach with a specialization in high conflict cases, I work with many clients who are married to someone who has a diagnosed (or more frequently, undiagnosed) personality disorder – chief among them, the notorious Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Narcissism is a buzzword – everyone’s ex is a narcissist, kids these days are narcissists, and many divorce professionals will cringe when they hear someone is “married to a narcissist”. To some, that word is interchangeable with entitled jerk. Unfortunately, this confusion can taint a divorce professional’s ability to hear and understand the difficulties of people who really are married to a narcissist. What is narcissistic personality disorder? Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is real, and it’s on the rise. NPD is characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5). It is recognized by traits such as aggression, reduced tolerance to distress, dysfunctional affect regulation, and grandiosity. According to DSM-5, the prevalence in the general population for narcissistic personality disorder is around 6% percent, but some studies suggest that rates could be as high as 15%. NPD may also coexist with other mental disorders, which makes its diagnosis challenging. Substance use disorders are among the most comorbid conditions. To further complicate issues, other personality disorders (such as antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder) are also common in people with NPD. People who have NPD are unlikely to present themselves to a professional for diagnosis, as they generally tend to believe that they are superior to others and that there’s nothing wrong with them. As a result, NPD and narcissistic abuse is an under-recognized, understudied public health issue and statistics are hard to come by. In one recent study, Sandra L. Brown, founder of Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education, suggests that narcissistic abuse negatively impacts more people around the world than depression. Which is a pretty staggering statement. Every day I interact with clients (usually women) looking for support and advice, fearful for themselves and their children. Often, they themselves don’t understand what NPD is or even fully recognize that they’re married to someone who is emotionally abusing them. Or, more frequently, they are ashamed to admit it, for “not seeing it sooner”, or for not being able to break out of the trauma bond that often accompanies emotional abuse. By the time they come to me, they have generally concluded that divorce is the best, or only, way forward for themselves and their children. Very often it has taken months, years, or even decades for them to gather the courage and conviction to leave, in large part because of the fear of backlash from their spouse. That fear is not without merit. High conflict divorces are far more challenging than “normal” divorces for a variety of reasons, and not every divorce coach, attorney, judge or therapist has the background to deal with the specific challenges that divorcing a narcissist can bring. As a divorce coach, it’s my job to help educate them about high conflict divorces, support them as they navigate the treacherous waters of divorce court, identify other sources of professional support, and start working on communication and disengagement strategies. Despite the challenges, however, narcissists and other “high conflict” personalities often engage predictable tactics and patterns of behavior in divorce court. Being able to predict, recognize, and deal with them allows us to start disrupting those patterns. Common tactics a narcissist uses 1. Projection Blamers can really project their own deficiencies onto the other party. They may try to convince friends, family, the court, and divorce professionals that their partner is: child abuser or molester or alienator a batterer an alcoholic or addict a liar who makes false allegations a deadbeat dad or unfit mother any other type of “all bad” person 2. Emotional persuasion A big problem here is that they can also be extremely skilled at convincing others and are often so emotionally persuasive that they will win in court, because emotions can add credibility and power to a person’s statements. If this happens early on in the process, the “target” will have a hard time defending themselves against this initial negative stereotyping and proving their innocence. 3. Negative stereotyping This phenomenon is studied extensively. Research has found that even without solid facts, people (in and out of court) are very susceptible to initial accusations, which tend to color subsequent impressions and understanding of the situation and of the parties. 4. Emotional reasoning/emotional facts This comes from the cognitive distortion of people with HCP – they feel something so strongly that it becomes a fact in their minds they become “emotional facts”: emotionally generated false information that usually becomes accepted as truth and often requires emergency action. 5. Recruitment of negative advocates Also called “flying monkeys” – blamers will recruit people who completely agree with their beliefs or “emotional facts” – including lawyers or therapists. Or judges. In this case, attorneys can be extremely effective in defending and enabling the “bad actor” because it's their role to fight for their clients. Early education is key Early education and intervention are key in avoiding the pitfalls, expense, and devastating impacts that high conflict divorce can bring: there are ways to plan and strategize around these predictable tactics and patterns of behavior. Helping clients navigate that landscape is something I love to do. My experience, both personal and professional, has put me in a unique position and allows me to help clients get clarity and actionable steps to leave their narcissistic marriage, create a solid success plan for divorce and for the new life that follows. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Liz Merrill, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Liz Merrill is a Mediator and a Divorce Coach with a specialization in High Conflict and Narcissistic relationships. She lectures regularly on high conflict divorce strategies and is a sought-after speaker and podcast guest. She also engages in regular pro bono work for families who are experiencing financial hardship and offers pro bono services through various nonprofits and the Colorado Court system. Her understanding of psychological and physiological reactions to trauma, conflict, and anxiety brings a holistic approach to her work with families caught in the High Conflict cycle. After her own litigious high-conflict divorce, she saw the need for a holistic approach to divorce mediation, which included non-violent communication skills, managing trauma, and an understanding of how personality traits and personality disorders create high conflict in a divorce. When she started working as a mediator for the courts, she discovered how badly equipped most divorce professionals are to manage the specific needs of people in high conflict relationships and how damaging it can be to the individuals and, most importantly, the children and family systems. Now she helps hundreds of people in crisis find workable solutions so they can reduce anxiety, save money, and move on with their lives.

Written by: Sue Lewington-Bide , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It’s easy to go slightly mad during the school summer holidays and COVID hasn’t helped this situation either. No one can blame you for wanting a bit of time out. I, for one, although I love my daughter to pieces, have been going mad with the mess caused during the holidays. Charlotte comes back from college and everything that she owns seems to make its way into every nook and cranny. The article I posted in my group recently was on this very subject of understanding that your surroundings reflect what’s going on in your mind. Even though they may not be directly your fault it’s easy to let outside circumstances take over and an untidy house is part and parcel with an untidy mind. Routine goes out of the window at this time, which is why I decided to share some points that can go a long way towards creating more confidence and peace of mind. Morning: 1. Smile the minute you wake up . You wouldn’t believe how this simple act can change your whole outlook on the day. Even if you’re tired and grumpy when you wake up. Just try it and see what happens. 2. Drink at least ½ pint of water the minute you get out of bed. This helps start your metabolism and wakes up your body in a refreshing way. 3. Think of 3 things you’re grateful for – it doesn’t matter how small, it could just be that the weather is nice today, or something made you smile yesterday – anything 4. Think of 3 things you’re looking forward to today – again it doesn’t matter how small, it could just be speaking to someone on the phone, or going through this daily routine! Something that’s just for you. 5. Think of 3 things you’re going to do today, to make your life better – again, it doesn’t matter how small 6. Shake your body from top to bottom for a couple of minutes. This sets your adrenalin going and releases endorphins (your very own happy pill), to your brain. (If possible, try and write down points 3 - 5. This exercise alone will make you feel better as you start your day). Noon: 7. Carry on drinking water , at least 6 cups per day 8. Listen to your thoughts . Hear what you're thinking, especially noticing when something negative crops up. 9. Take at least ½ hour for yourself – meditate if possible. Taking time out for yourself every day is exceedingly important. Scheduling it in means you’ll make an extra special effort to make it happen. 10 . Do something nice for someone else. Even if it’s just paying someone a compliment or smiling at someone in the street. The effect this will have on you is well worth the effort. 11 . Shake your body through again , to keep yourself energised. Your energy depletes as you go through the day, so just doing this exercise a couple of times a day restores your body’s sense of wellbeing. Night: 12. Remember all the good things that happened to you during the day, even if it’s just 1 thing. Dwell on it before you go to sleep 13. Take deep breaths and relax your body as you lie down . As you inhale, breathe in the good things that have come to your attention during the day. As you exhale, expel those negative thoughts that you noticed earlier. Breathe in the good and breathe out the bad. That way you should get a good night’s sleep. As you can see, none of these take long to do, but the ripple effect that it has on your mental wellbeing and peace of mind is unbounded. All the way from smiling first thing in the morning, being grateful for the smallest of things, doing something nice for someone else, stepping back and listening to your thoughts and just shaking out your body in order to re-energise. These small acts will change your attitude on a subconscious level which if done consistently will enhance your wellbeing and change ingrained habits for the better. If you would like to take these quick strategies to another level, you can access my free video series here. Here’s to making our world a better place. SueLB Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Sue Lewington-Bide, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sue Lewington-Bide became a Mental Fitness Coach after her daughter became anorexic. This was not a situation that she was prepared for and it took its toll on her own mentality. As a result she studied hypnotherapy, psychology, NLP, and EFT in order to better understand her daughter’s challenges and be in a position to help others facing similar issues. In 2020 Sue formed Suelb Ltd so that she could bring her knowledge online and help even more people who need the support in these trying times.