Befriend Your Fear To Achieve Your Dreams

Written by: Marianne Ewasyn, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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You have a dream for a great life - achieving something that you would absolutely love! Maybe you are passionate about starting a new business or finding your soul mate. But then you feel stuck and find it hard to take steps towards your dream. Your thoughts move in to distract or dissuade you. You hear a familiar voice that says it's here to keep you safe. It says that "now" is not the right time for you. Later would be better ….

So, what do you do? Do you stay with the safe and familiar, or do you pursue your dream? That voice you hear is the voice of Fear. Fear is your primitive fight or flight system trying to keep you safe so you can survive. It wants you to stay in your current situation because it doesn't know what change might lie ahead.

Fear is simply the border between the “reality” you have known and your "dream," which is a life beyond that border. You will come up against fear on the path to achieving your dream. And you succeed in the presence of your fear, not in the absence of it. To succeed in building the life you would love, learn how to turn your attention from your fear and fix your attention on your dream.

Befriend Your Fear

What does it mean to befriend your fear? It means to acknowledge fear, even embrace it, but not let it have control of your life. It's about having fear, without being consumed and immobilized by fear.

We all have fear – there's fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of the opinion of others …. almost an endless list. We also have Dreams we would love to achieve. It's impossible not to have some fear in life, so you must acknowledge your fear and learn how to befriend it. In this way, you honor fear's presence, but kick it out of the driver's seat to advance confidently toward your dream.

Remember, there is a difference between “having fear” and the “fear having us.” Courage is moving ahead with our fear.

Know that Fear is Feedback

Fear alerts us to the signs and signals of growth. If you have fear about taking the next step towards your dream – that's good news! It means that you're on your "growing edge" and about to step into a life that you love.

We need to embrace our fear and know that it's just a companion on our journey. And if you let ideas of fear, anxiety or doubt be your guide, you will always find yourself contracting and reacting to your circumstances. What you put your attention on, the universe hears as your intention. With this awareness, you can manage the energy of your fear so that it becomes a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block.

Fear doesn't mean we can't, it simply means that we haven't yet.

Fear also wants to keep us from experiencing failure. But failure is just feedback too, and there's nothing wrong with failure. It's the opportunity to have feedback about our learning cycle. Don't be afraid of making a mistake or experiencing failure. Be more afraid of staying stuck.

We often don't realize how much "failure" highly successful people had before they achieved their dreams. TV Star, Oprah Winfrey, was fired by television executives and told that she was not fit for TV. Disney Founder Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for "lacking imagination, and having no original ideas." And children's author, J.K. Rowling's, first "Harry Potter" novel was rejected by 12 publishing houses before she achieved great success.

Move Outside Your Comfort Zone

The greatest dream builders in the world have all been afraid. People who are never afraid are always staying in their comfort zones.

You have power you are not using. Take your foot off the brake!

When you learn to drive a car, it can be daunting and scary at first and you may want to have your right foot on the gas pedal and your left foot hovering over (or even touching) the brake pedal. You know there's lots of power available to propel you forward, but you are afraid to access it. However, with practice, you soon become more comfortable and take your foot off the brake. Now you're going places!

It's the same thing with pursuing your goals and dreams. There's a part of you that wants to expand and move forward, but it can be scary to leave your comfort zone, so you "put on the brakes." If, instead, you put your attention on what you want, you can use your power to advance in that direction. The "magic" happens when you step outside your comfort zone.

Understand that Greatness includes Fear

If you decide to step into your greatness, fear will be a companion. Therefore, you must be willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth.

When someone is on their death bed, their greatest regret is not what they've done – but rather what they "didn't do", and wished they had dared to do.

Realize that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. You have an infinite side and live in an abundant world of unlimited possibilities, with a connection to an infinite source of energy. It's the human side of you that feels afraid and the spiritual side that urges you to expand and grow.

If you live to be eighty years old, you will have lived seven hundred and fifty thousand hours. Now, what if you were to invest just the next twenty-four hours in learning how to develop your ability to choose which thought you are going to give your creative energy to? Here's something to try for just a day:

For the next twenty-four hours, pay attention to your thoughts and decide to direct your energy to positive thinking. When your mind wants to pick up old thoughts that are fearful or life-diminishing, simply turn your attention back to a powerful thought that is in harmony with the life you want to live.

It's important to notice what you're paying attention to. You can say you want this great life and this dream, but if your attention goes to all the things that could go wrong, the universe will always deliver to you that which you put your attention.

By noticing your constrictive thoughts and pivoting to life-affirming thoughts, you begin to build an arsenal of positive power thoughts that you can use as a foundation to stand on.

It's necessary to acknowledge your fear, and to "have fear without fear having you." Realize that the life you want is just outside of your comfort zone, and be willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth.

Now, are you prepared, despite any fear, to take steps to achieve your dreams and live a life you truly love? Or are you content to stay in your comfort zone and live the same life day after day? Just think, you can live another 365 days by default or you could live another year by design and be living into your dream.

The infinite part of you is urging you to expand and grow – like an angel whispering in your ear.

You can say this to yourself: "There is something in me that's greater than this fear. And that same power guides my life and I move past every obstacle, step by step, towards building my dream."

Befriend Your Fear to Achieve your Dreams! Yes, you can! I believe in you and the power you have within you!

If you found this article to be helpful or inspirational, please claim your complimentary 11 Tips to Unlimited Happiness

And I would love to connect with you to support you with Dream Building and moving past your fears. Visit my website here and follow me on Facebook!

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Marianne Ewasyn, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Marianne Ewasyn is grateful to be living her passion and purpose as a Transformational Life Coach and Healer. She inspires and guides others to discover and build their dreams so they can live a life they absolutely love! As a life-long student of personal development and heart centered mindset she has immersed herself in premium coaching, healing and mentoring with Marci Shimoff, Christian Mickelsen and Mary Morrisey’s Brave Thinking Institute, among others. Marianne knows first-hand what it’s like to be weighed down by worry and struggle and she now empowers others to achieve new heights of authentic happiness, vibrant health, spiritual aliveness and success through a proven system called Dream Builder. She believes that each one of us is far more powerful and contains more potential than any circumstance, situation or condition. Marianne would love to support you to create and live a life that you would truly love! Her motto: “It’s your life, make it a great one!”