Written by Larry Carroll Jr., Author, Wellness Entrepreneur, and Trauma-Informed Strategist Larry Carroll Jr. is an author, publisher of Ryze, and CEO of Ryze Above Inc., a trauma-informed company dedicated to helping individuals transform adversity into purpose through wellness, education, and self-mastery. What if healing isn’t about fixing yourself, but remembering who you were before survival took over? This article explores the inner dimensions of consciousness, tracing a deeply personal journey from trauma and fragmentation to integration, coherence, and peace, soundtracked by music that met the body before the mind could understand. The spiritual dimension of the 8 dimensions of wellness Spiritual wellness is often misunderstood as belief, faith, or ritual. In this series, it means something far more practical and far more demanding. Spiritual wellness is alignment. It is the process of bringing the body, mind, emotions, and identity into coherence after years of survival, fragmentation, and adaptation. It is not about escaping pain or transcending reality. It is about integrating lived experience into meaning so the self no longer feels divided. Ascending the inner dimensions marks the spiritual dimension of the 8D framework because ascension does not occur by bypassing the body or suppressing emotion. It occurs by moving through them. Healing, in this sense, is not a destination. It is a reorganization of the inner world where safety replaces hypervigilance, purpose replaces performance, and presence replaces constant striving. For many adults, especially men over 30, life has been lived from the outside in. Achievement, responsibility, and resilience became identities long before alignment ever became an option. This article invites a different progression, from survival to coherence, from reaction to regulation, from fragmentation to wholeness. In the spiritual dimension, growth is no longer measured by how much one endures, but by how deeply one can listen to the body, to the nervous system, to the quiet signals that were once ignored in the name of strength. This is not a call to slow down. It is a call to move upward with intention. As the opening spiritual pillar of the 8 Dimensions of Wellness, Ascending the Inner Dimensions serves as an initiation into a larger truth. Healing is not about fixing what is broken. It is about remembering what was always whole. I invite you into the story of my ascension, not as a blueprint to copy, but as a mirror to reflect what may already be stirring within you. Ascension is never about becoming someone new. It is about reclaiming the parts of yourself that were left behind in the name of survival. Every ascent begins the same way, by turning inward. Welcome to the Ryze. Around 2012, I walked into a store called For Your Entertainment, FYE. As soon as I stepped inside, I heard a raw, unapologetic story pressed into wax. The beat was hot, but it was the honesty that pierced my chest. The melody and lyrics felt like pages ripped straight out of my own story. I walked up to the clerk and asked who was playing. They replied, Soundtrack 2 My Life by Kid Cudi. At the time, this was my first real introduction to Kid Cudi. Looking back, that song would carry me through some of the darkest moments of my life. I could not articulate why it hit so deeply. I just knew it felt true. Beneath what sounded like intergalactic, hippie, mushroom-fueled abstraction was a man narrating his inner vulnerability for the world to see. Long before I had language for trauma, shadow work, or dimensions of consciousness, Kid Cudi was already mapping them out track by track. Unbeknownst to me, his music was doing something to me. Years later, through study and lived experience, I can now describe it more clearly. What did it do? His music assisted my healing process through several dimensions, not just the ones I previously wrote about, but dimensions of consciousness themselves. What motivated me to write such an abstract and provocative essay? Since the beginning of time, humans have tried to understand and quantify the relationship between the physical and the metaphysical. My intention with this essay is to weave those threads together. Feelings, emotions, and nervous-system responses on one side. Quantum physics, consciousness, and vibration on the other. I connect them through my lived experience and my relationship with Kid Cudi’s music. This is where sound healing enters the conversation, how vibration, rhythm, and frequency can reverberate through the body and shape internal states. It is why we hear thinkers like Terrence Howard speaking about DNA having sound. Whether metaphorical or literal, the idea points to something ancient. Sound moves us before words are ever spoken. To understand how this music met me where I was, we must begin before awakening, in the dimensions we rarely talk about. Related article: Terrence Howard lecture Before the awakening, the dimensions we don’t talk about First dimension, survival (existence consciousness) “I’m super paranoid, like a sixth sense. Since my father died, I ain’t been right since.” “The moon will illuminate my room, and soon I’m consumed by my doom.” “I live in a cocoon, the dark side of the moon.” Although my biological father was not deceased, I deeply related to these lyrics. What I heard was raw existence, no reflection yet, just coping and bracing. Loss. Hypervigilance. Isolation. This is life lived inside the nervous system. Before meaning, before identity, before awareness, there is only survival. Kid Cudi, like me, experienced early and profound trauma. Trauma does not live in thought alone. It also lives in the body. The body continues responding to danger long after the threat has passed because it never learned how to stop. This is the dimension of fight, flight, freeze, scarcity, hypervigilance, and emotional overwhelm. Research shows that individuals with four or more Adverse Childhood Experiences, ACEs, are four to twelve times more likely to struggle with depression, addiction, and emotional dysregulation later in life. In this state, the nervous system dominates perception. I lived here as a child, often alone, trying to make sense of the chaos I had no choice but to endure. In this dimension, most people don’t ask why. We don’t have the capacity to. We simply survive. But survival alone is exhausting. Eventually, the body begins to feel before it can understand. That’s where the next dimension begins. Related articles: About Adverse Childhood Experiences , The Body Keeps the Score Second dimension, conditioning (emotional consciousness) “I tried to piece the puzzle of the universe. Split an eighth of shrooms just so I could see the universe.” The second dimension introduces feeling before understanding. We experience our emotions but don’t yet understand their root cause. Integration is limited, creating what feels like a temporary mental purgatory. This is where emotional memory forms, identity is shaped by experience, and patterns repeat without insight. Neuroscience confirms that emotional memory develops before rational cognition, which explains why people often know better yet continue repeating the same behaviors. This aligns with the triune brain model. Early in life, we predominantly cycle through the reptilian brain, survival instincts, and the limbic system, emotion. The final stage of the brain’s development will be addressed later in this article. At this stage, we are reacting more than reflecting. Kid Cudi occupied this dimension publicly, navigating addiction, fame, depression, and self-medication, documenting the confusion of feeling deeply without yet knowing how to integrate it. This is experience without reflection. Eventually, however, pain demands language. Awareness begins to stir. Related article: What is the Triune Mind? Third dimension, the awakening (duality consciousness) “I’ve got some issues that nobody can see.” “I bring them to the light for you. It’s only right.” In the third dimension, reality takes on weight and density. Life feels solid here, measured in time, effort, and consequence. Because of that density, movement often feels slow, heavy, and resistant. This is the realm where we first encounter duality, right and wrong, good and bad, success and failure. Because of this density, it becomes difficult to understand that thoughts themselves eventually take shape in lived experience. When you’re in this dimension, it can feel like there is no end in sight, like progress is crawling forward while life keeps piling on. Things feel delayed. Stagnant. Out of your control. We may also experience cognitive dissonance. Do you feel this way? This is where awareness begins to break through, even when it hurts. Ego forms. Judgment sharpens. Meaning-making begins. Coming from a religious background, I lived in black and white. I judged people and situations harshly from a high moral ground, often overlooking deeper, universal truths. Over time, life taught me the lesson of dichotomy and that truth is rarely singular. Growth lives in the tension between opposites. According to trauma-informed psychology, awareness alone doesn’t heal trauma, but it initiates the healing process. This is the stage where you finally see yourself clearly, even if you don’t yet know what to do with what you see. Martial arts helped me understand this physically through concepts of yin and yang, hard and soft, balance through opposition. Kid Cudi helped me understand it emotionally. He showed the darkness without pretending it wasn’t there, while still holding a sliver of hope. This is awakening without integration, and awakening creates tension. Once you see yourself clearly, you can’t unsee it. That tension demands a choice, remain fragmented and reactive, or step forward into the work of integration. Related article: Trauma-informed Care in Behavioral Health Sciences Fourth dimension, the paradigm shift (integration consciousness) “I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice. Just to show the kids they ain’t the only ones who up at night.” “I try to shed some light on a man. Not many people on this planet understand.” The Fourth Dimension is the bridge. In this dimension, responsibility replaces blame. The heart begins to lead. The vibrations in this dimension resonate higher than the physical, dense world of matter as experienced in the third dimension. One begins craving a life guided by values rather than reaction, rather than earlier behaviors forced by the lower dimensions. Duality still exists, but we become aware that our perspective must change. Forgiveness becomes essential. Shadow work becomes unavoidable. Writing my book, Ryze, was my shadow work. Research shows that expressive writing can reduce trauma symptoms by up to 30%, improve emotional regulation, and strengthen immune response. Without knowing the clinical language, Kid Cudi had already been doing this shadow work on wax. I followed that same format through journaling. My journal writings eventually became my book. In my book, I wrote about one of my greatest lessons, the time when my electricity was shut off. By candlelight, I stared at my sneakers, not with pride, but with disdain. When I was up, I never prepared for being down. That moment stripped me and freed me. As I moved through the dimensions, I expanded beyond martial arts into yoga, breathwork, and somatic practices. These practices, now staples in trauma-informed care, have been shown to lower cortisol levels by 20 to 30%. They weren’t just practices. They were portals. This is healing through responsibility. As integration deepens, perception itself begins to change. Related article: Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process , Yoga’s impact on stress reduction, and stress levels Quantum physics, consciousness, and Kid Cudi’s abstraction At some point, I realized the language of dimensions wasn’t just poetic. It was functional. Quantum physics doesn’t study meaning, but it reveals a universe where reality exists as probability until observed. Observation collapses potential into form. Trauma collapses possibility. Healing reopens it. As Kid Cudi’s artistry evolved, from raw confession to abstraction, many listeners checked out. But abstraction is often a sign of integration. After watching his movie Entergalactic, his music clicked differently for me. What once felt chaotic now felt intentional. Kid Cudi didn’t lose himself. He cohered. Coherence is the doorway to the final dimension. Fifth dimension, the arrival (coherent consciousness) “And I’m in a new mode. Been searching for so long now lately. Another level found some peace within. And I’m in a new mode. I prayed for so, so long now lately. Another level. Ooh, let’s begin.” The Fifth Dimension isn’t perfection. It is a level of consciousness that brings emotional regulation. Emotions still arise, but they no longer rule you. Thoughts become intentional. Actions become heart-led. Manifestation through thought becomes possible because internal coherence has been established. You possess a form of mastery over yourself. The frequencies of the fifth dimension are higher than those of the physical, dense world of the earth. Frequencies vibrate at speeds faster than the speed of light. This makes manifestation and creation through thought possible. The heart is in charge. The higher self, your soul, is matched with the heart. Love prevails because our actions are made from the heart and no longer from the head. Thought becomes intentional. Action becomes heart-led. Neuroscience shows that consistent mindfulness and embodied practices increase activity in the prefrontal cortex, the region responsible for empathy, self-control, and conscious decision-making. This part of the brain has been hypothesized to fully develop last. Although there are critics of the triune brain model, its use in this article is intended to shift one’s lower consciousness to a higher one without overburdening the audience with overly complex concepts. While the brain’s structure is set to mature around age 25, it wasn’t until age 36 that I felt mastery over my emotional responses. One morning after a difficult breakup, while brushing my teeth, I caught my reflection in the mirror. For the first time, I felt something unfamiliar, contentment. No resentment toward the past. No anxiety about the future. Just presence. That was my arrival in the fifth dimension. Kid Cudi reached this space long before I realized it, turning pain into art and chaos into coherence. I arrived later, with fewer words and quieter peace. I was no longer directed by my pain. I turned my pain into passion. For many years, the Fifth Dimension appeared to me in flashes, possibly due to a lack of tools and understanding of shadow work. After feeling a feeling I had never felt before, my coherence began. The fifth dimension is a dimension created for peace, a paradise for some, nirvana for others. Not the type of paradise described in the biblical sense, but one for the mind. If you’re not careful, you may miss it. As you and I know, matter and time are fleeting. Related article: Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness , The brain is adaptive, not triune: How the brain responds to threat, challenge, and change The soundtrack as a map “This is the soundtrack to my life.” In a short period of time, you and I are commissioned to experience life and live it to the best of our ability, no matter what religion or denomination. Cudi’s music didn’t save me. It walked with me to the fifth dimension, quietly and intentionally, into the present. I realized that every significant experience I faced, and every response to those experiences, led me here. From survival, to conditioning, to awakening, to integration, and finally to embodiment. His catalog mirrored my dimensional journey. What I have concluded in my journey is that the third and fourth dimensions are places you must pass through. You cannot skip to the fifth. The fifth is where you arrive only after completing the self-work necessary. The arrival is different for everyone. What I also found is that Cudi’s music wasn’t just his. It was yours. It was mine. It was for anyone trying to move from survival to coherence. I am optimistic for the future, not because I have everything figured out, but because I believe more people will reach this dimension and the world will be better for it. If this journey resonated, pause for a moment. Ask yourself, which dimension am I operating from right now, survival, awakening, or coherence? Wherever you are, honor it. That awareness is the beginning. If you’d like to continue the conversation, share your reflections, or explore tools for navigating these dimensions, you can connect with me directly: No pressure, just an open door. Yours truly, the coolest author you know. Peace be upon you, family. Until the next time. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Larry Carroll Jr. Larry Carroll Jr., Author, Wellness Entrepreneur, and Trauma-Informed Strategist Larry Carroll Jr. is the author and publisher of the memoir Ryze and the CEO of Ryze Above Inc., a trauma-informed wellness company. His work bridges lived experience, behavioral insight, and holistic development to help individuals turn adversity into growth. Through writing, education, and coaching, he explores resilience, identity, and personal accountability. His articles invite readers to examine their inner world while building practical tools for lasting change.

Written by Lisa Gaines, Leadership Wellbeing Coach Lisa Gaines is a leadership and welbeing coach, empowering mid-life women leaders to redefine success, break through barriers, and thrive. Drawing on her expertise in neuroscience and emotional intelligence, Lisa supports her clients with navigating change, finding renewed purpose, and creating sustainable growth in both work and life. That voice in your head isn’t just you being hard on yourself, it’s your Inner Critic! And it can quietly sabotage your confidence, wellbeing and leadership (even when you’re doing well). This 6-step guide will help you recognise when it’s running the show, interrupt the spiral, and lead yourself and your team with more calm, clarity, and courage. A must for leaders, business owners, and anyone wanting to experience their potential is learning to work with and manage their Inner Critic.   If you are new to the concept, the Inner Critic is an internal voice or narrative that judges and critiques us. It is the opposite of our Inner Champion. And while it can feel harsh, irrational or even cruel, it often has a positive intent. It is trying to keep us safe.   Sometimes, the Inner Critic feels more motivating than positive self-talk because it is closely linked to survival, which, at a primal level, is our main priority as humans.   The problem is, what once helped us stay safe can become the very thing that keeps us small. The Inner Critic: What it sounds like Your Inner Critic can range from berating and brutal to mild and subtle. It might show up as a sharp comment in your mind, a quiet sense of dread, or a background narrative that never seems to switch off.   It generally prefers that we don’t take risks or try new things it deems dangerous. It likes to keep the personal status quo as much as possible. It is usually not a fan of change.   It can be particularly hard on you when you experience failure, at work, in business, in relationships, or when things simply are not going your way. It will likely hammer you, call you a loser, and compare you with others who seem more successful, all under the guise of being helpful.   “Thanks, Inner Critic. You’re a pal.”   The severity of our Inner Critic in adulthood can often be traced back to the critical voices of our caregivers when we were children. With my standard Irish Catholic upbringing, I know the territory well. I have had to work extensively with my own Inner Critic over the years.   Moving into new work or business situations can be enough ammunition to trigger it. A career change, stepping into a more senior role, or business growth with greater visibility and risk can all provoke it.   When I started presenting in front of large groups, I had to overcome extreme Inner Critic attacks just to function and perform. Looking back, it’s miraculous I have done what I’ve done in my career when my own critic can be so loud and mean.   And here is the part that matters for leaders. The Inner Critic does not only show up for people who are underperforming. It also targets high performers. Why high achievers are not immune Over the years, I have watched my coaching clients grow extraordinary businesses, lead large teams, and step into influential roles. Many have become highly successful, have won awards, and are recognised for the difference they make.   What inspires me even more than their material success is the balance they strike. They care deeply for their business and customers while also caring for their teams, culture, and families. They are good people.   You would think they would live in pride and self-appreciation. And yet, many experience loud, berating inner voices, especially those with perfectionistic tendencies.   The Inner Critic doesn’t discriminate. It can become more than a mindset problem. It can become a well-being issue. When the Inner Critic pours fuel on the fire During growth spurts or challenging periods, stress naturally rises. Clients often come to coaching sessions exhausted, wired, struggling with sleep, headaches or some report of panic attacks.   When we unpack what is going on, in addition to the external pressures, what is often driving the distress is the Inner Critic.   Once you become aware of it, you can start to hear what it is saying:   “Who do you think you are?” “You are going to fail.” “You can’t do this.” “You are too much.” “You are not enough.”   It gets loud when we feel vulnerable, after failure, loss or a confronting interaction.   And when we are in it, we don’t just hear the judgements. We believe them.   At these times, the Inner Critic can be destructive. It can affect mood, reduce functioning, and drain joy from work and life. It can block creativity, stall growth, and become a major contributor to depression.   If your Inner Critic tips into persistent hopelessness, thoughts of self-harm, or anything that feels unsafe, it is important to seek professional mental health support. Coaching is powerful, but it is not a substitute for clinical care when safety is a concern. The first step: Awareness The first step to changing your relationship with the Inner Critic is recognising when it is operating.   It can help enormously to have a coach, counsellor or trusted friend who can help you spot it, especially when you are in a vulnerable state, and you don’t recognise it. When I first became a business coach, I had a voice that told me, for years, “You have no business being a business coach.”   When I finally realised this was a judgement from my Inner Critic, I was able to laugh at it. My clients were achieving remarkable outcomes and attributing their success to our work together.   Even now, a decade later, that same voice still tries its luck. The nerve!   Over time, I have learned many tools to work with the Inner Critic. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one personality may not work for another. But I can say this with confidence. The inner work is worth it. It brings a level of peace and freedom that can become your new normal.   Below are six steps that have worked for me and for hundreds of clients I have worked with. Six steps to help quieten your Inner Critic and regain your peace of mind 1. Recognise what is happening in your body Sometimes the Inner Critic is so subtle we just know we feel “off”.   So, we start with the body. Notice anxiety, shallow breathing, tension in the shoulders, chest or jaw. For me, it shows up in my shoulders and head.   Your body can alert you to something that’s happening in your mind. This awareness also brings you into the present moment, which is a powerful resource when dealing with Inner Critic narratives. 2. Remember to breathe When you notice shallow breathing, interrupt it. Take a few slow, deep breaths.   In coaching sessions, when clients arrive wired or frantic, I often begin with breathing together. We then continue to check in regularly with how the body feels.   It’s not always comfortable. In fact, it can initially feel uncomfortable to become aware of the stress and tension we’re carrying. This is why keeping busy and feeling manic can almost feel better than pausing to take stock of what is truly going on inside.   I promise you, though: it’s worth the pause.   If you apply these steps and tools well, you can regularly get to a more peaceful, more resourceful place inside yourself. You can enjoy calm instead of the chaos that goes with an intense Inner Critic narrative. 3. Catch the criticism Once things slow down, you can ask: What is the underlying message?   Often it’s: • “I’m not good enough.” • “I don’t have what it takes.”   Sometimes, just by having this awareness, we can drop the criticism right then and there.   Other times, you may need more awareness and insistence before you can get the narrative to stop. 4. Give yourself a reality check If the judgement is:   “You cannot lead.” “You should not be doing this.” “You do not deserve success.”   Let your Inner Champion respond: “Well, I am actually doing it.”   You can consider: “Is there evidence I cannot do this?”   The challenge with this step is that it can become a back-and-forth argument in your own mind, an inner game of tennis.   Have you ever found yourself doing that? Arguing with yourself in your own mind?   So, with that danger in mind, do a quick reality check and then intentionally drop it. You can end the game of tennis by calling it “love-all.” 5. Befriend the beast After admitting you talk to yourself, you won’t be surprised to learn you can actually talk to the critic.   You can respond to the judgement like you would with a friend or colleague:   “Okay, I hear your concern. Thanks for sharing.”   Then continue on with whatever you have planned to do. On occasions, an advanced Inner Critic will surface at this time and say, “But what if this happens (usually the worst case scenario)?”   If that occurs, you can satisfy the concern by working through the probability of that outcome, considering what you would do if it happened, and/or discussing the situation with a coach, colleague, partner or trusted friend. This is not indulging fear. It is meeting it with steadiness. 6. Slay the beast (when needed) If it’s a particularly loud Inner Critic attack, you may need to draw on internal strength.   You can respond in a powerful way by telling it to shut up, or if you’re comfortable with stronger language, you can ‘insert expletives here’.   For some, particularly if you feel disconnected from your personal power, or if you are not connected with healthy aggression, this step may be the most challenging. Some reading this may even feel this approach is wrong.   But think of a mother bear protecting her cubs. We have this in us. We can access anger as a resource to protect our authentic self. It’s important to recognise that sometimes we need to protect ourselves against our own destructive thoughts and Inner Critic attacks. Aggression can be a healthy resource when channelled properly. When we lead from the inside out Whether you lead a team, an organisation, or a community, learning to manage your Inner Critic isn’t self-indulgent, it’s essential. It shapes how you show up under pressure, how you make decisions, and the tone you set for everyone around you.   I can tell you from experience: it’s worth it. It’s powerful, life-changing work. And it supports you to lead (and live) from a place that’s calmer, clearer, and more truly you.   When you lead yourself with more compassion and clarity, your team feels it, and they rise to meet you there.   If you’d like to explore coaching support around managing and overcoming the Inner Critic, reach out to book a free 30-minute conversation at lisa@lisagaines.co Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Lisa Gaines Lisa Gaines, Leadership Wellbeing Coach Lisa Gaines is a leadership and wellbeing coach devoted to helping mid-life women leaders reconnect with themselves, overcome roadblocks or burnout, and thrive. With over 15 years’ experience and drawing on her expertise in neuroscience and emotional intelligence, Lisa supports her clients through meaningful transitions in work and life. Her coaching style is nurturing, insightful, and practical, and empowers clients to overcome their barriers, and step into new chapters with clarity, courage, and balance. Lisa is passionate about supporting women to step up, stand tall, and create sustainable success on their own terms.

David Bovis is a leadership strategist, keynote speaker, and founder of Duxinaroe, specialising in the application of neuroscience to leadership, decision-making, and performance under pressure. His work focuses on understanding why experienced, well-intentioned leaders in manufacturing environments often struggle to deliver sustainable change, despite strong operational systems and proven improvement methods. David Bovis, Founder of Duxinaroe Ltd. Who is David Bovis? Introduce yourself – your hobbies, your favourite things, and the person you are at home and in business. I was always a natural creator drawn to art, design, and making things. That instinct was later channelled into engineering, which gave me discipline, structure, and a deep respect for how complex systems really work. I entered the world of change and transformation following my apprenticeship and have now spent forty years working in manufacturing and industry around the world. That combination, creative instinct on one side and engineering rigour on the other, shaped how I see the world. It gave me a balance between emotional intelligence and pragmatism, between seeing possibility and understanding constraint. Early in my career, particularly through exposure to venture capital and consulting environments, I became fascinated by a recurring contradiction. Intelligent people, with good intent, often clash deeply when trying to improve performance. I found myself asking a deceptively simple question that stayed with me for years: what is a belief, really, and why does it have such power over behaviour? After more than a decade of searching, I found the answer not in management theory, but in neuroscience. At home, I’m a husband and a proud father of three. I value simplicity, but only once complexity has been properly understood. I have little patience for simplistic answers that ignore reality and create problems further down the road. I care about honesty, time, and depth. I enjoy staying physically active, riding motorcycles in the summer with friends, and having conversations by a beach, in the sun, that go beyond surface-level explanations. In business, I’m the same person. I think in terms of long-term impact rather than short-term gains. I’m direct when needed, but always mindful that behaviour is driven by emotional history, experience, and how the brain has learned to survive. I’m not interested in fashionable language or quick fixes. What matters to me is respect for people, clarity of thinking, genuine connection, and helping leaders understand what is really driving behaviour, in themselves and in others. What inspired you to focus on leadership and culture change as your life’s work? After four decades in manufacturing, across automotive, aerospace, defence, food, FMCG, and Tier 1-3 supply chains, I noticed a deeply frustrating pattern. The same problems kept repeating. Change programmes stalled. Engagement declined. Resistance increased. Each time, the response was to introduce new tools, new frameworks, or new systems. What struck me was how rarely we questioned the assumptions people were making about people, (top down and bottom up). We focused heavily on process improvement, capital investment in technology, and eventually even behaviour change. Yet we ignored what was happening both upstream and downstream in the human brain. Through successive waves of tools-based improvement initiatives and new systems promising Quality, Cost, and Delivery improvements, up to RPA and now AI, the same logic persisted. Technology improved, while the human conditions under which people were expected to perform became more pressured, more controlled, and less humane. Then we seemed surprised by global disengagement figures and decades of stagnant productivity growth. Once I began to see these patterns through a neurological lens, the cause became obvious. Leadership and culture challenges were not capability gaps. They were misdiagnoses, reinforced by a language set that never evolved to include how the brain actually works. Ironically, the very function of the brain that allows us to ignore inconvenient truths is also what makes these problems so persistent. Helping leaders see that, and learn how to work with it, became my focus. How did your background in engineering and applied neuroscience lead you to create the BTFA™ model? Engineering trained me to look for root causes rather than symptoms. Philosophy exposed humanity’s long struggle to understand the mind. Psychology pointed inward. Neuroscience finally provided the missing empirical lens. In industry, we train people to analyse mechanical systems, process flows, and constraints in extraordinary detail. Yet we largely ignore the biological system that designs, interprets, and reacts to all of them: the human brain. Neuroscience is not part of our shared cultural language. Parents, teachers, coaches, managers, and even medical professionals rarely think in terms of neurological function when interpreting behaviour. As a result, we misinterpret reaction as intent and emotion as attitude. BTFA emerged from bringing these worlds together, alongside my own lived experience as a human being, a parent, a leader, and someone who often felt misjudged by systems designed to prioritise short-term outputs over long-term sustainability. The framework describes a simple but profound mechanism: what we believe shapes how we think, how we think shapes how we feel, and how we feel governs our reactions, decisions, and actions, especially under pressure. It’s not a theory. It’s a way of making an incredibly complex human mechanism visible and usable. What problem do most organisations face that traditional leadership tools can’t fix? Most organisations suffer from misalignment. Leaders believe one thing, systems signal another, and people experience something else entirely. Traditional tools focus on efficiency, utilisation, cost, and various other performance metrics, often in pockets, rather than systemically. Even psychology, when involved, focuses on differences, like personality traits, rather than common neurological realities. From a neurological point of view, it becomes very easy to see that disengagement and resistance are not character flaws. They are biological responses to perceived threat. Gallup consistently shows misalignment as the strongest precursor to disengagement, which is simply another way of describing brains being forced to operate under incompatible conditions. When people feel overloaded, undervalued, or unsafe, performance does not improve by pushing harder. The brain shifts into protection mode. Learning slows. Problem-solving narrows. Compliance replaces commitment. These are common reactions in any brain that hasn’t been conditioned to react otherwise. Traditional tools simply aren’t focused on these underlying issues. They aren’t designed to fix a human problem we systematically fail to describe when speaking in logical, mechanistic, and commercial terms. What is the core idea behind your BTFA™ framework, in simple terms? Performance is not driven directly by behaviour. It is driven by emotional state, which is shaped by thinking, which itself emerges from deeply established neural wiring, which we call belief. Belief, thought, emotion, and action operate simultaneously, what is wired fires. Chemicals are released. Behaviour follows. BTFA helps leaders understand the chain and work with it consciously, rather than reacting to outcomes without understanding their cause. How does neuroscience help leaders make better decisions and build strong teams? Neuroscience explains why people behave differently under pressure. When leaders understand how threat, safety, prediction, and emotional regulation influence judgment, they stop personalising resistance and start designing better environments. This leads to clearer decisions, more honest conversations, and teams that can think, learn, and adapt rather than simply comply under stress. It also reframes compassion. Caring for people is often seen as a weakness in business. An inherited opinion at best, despite its prevalence. Neuroscience shows the exact opposite and delivers verifiable data to back it up. The greater challenge is developing emotional maturity on a broad basis (top-floor to shop floor), so compassion is not abused, and trust is not undermined. That is why so many leaders default to imposed control, not because it works better, but because their own brains respond defensively when trust is broken... as they are designed to. Can you share a real example where BTFA™ transformed a team or company culture? I worked with a leadership team that believed an individual was deliberately obstructive and disengaged. Through BTFA, they began to see how their own judgements were filling gaps in their knowledge, with assumptions, and that the environment they had created unintentionally signalled threat, rather than expectation. Once they changed how they framed communication and signalled safety systematically, the individual’s behaviour shifted almost immediately. Nothing about the person changed. Only the beliefs behind the signals that the system was sending did. That is what a real root cause looks like. What makes your approach different from other leadership or change programs out there? We don’t train organisations. We educate people. Most programmes focus on behaviour, tools, or motivation. BTFA focuses on awareness. When leaders understand how their own beliefs and emotional states shape others, behaviour changes naturally. It’s not about doing more. It’s about seeing differently. Who is the ideal client for your leadership and culture change work? Leaders who genuinely believe people are their greatest asset and want that belief to shape how performance is achieved. They are often highly experienced, have tried many standard approaches, and sense that something fundamental is missing. When they hear BTFA, the pieces start to fall into place. Our clients genuinely care about results and people, but are dissatisfied with the human cost of success when following the herd. What is the biggest mindset shift leaders must make to succeed today? That performance does not come from control. It comes from creating conditions in which brains can operate optimally. Letting go of old assumptions about pressure, motivation, and accountability transforms leadership challenges that once seemed intractable. We see this in practice all the time. How can someone get started, and what results can they expect? Most begin with our structured BTFA experience, individually or in cohorts. This requires no more than 4 hours a week over 5 weeks, making it accessible for even the busiest executive or stressed manager/supervisor. Leaders often report a rapid increase in clarity, less conflict (in teams and in their personal lives), and better decision-making under pressure. From there, organisations expand access, develop internal capability, and embed the thinking more broadly. Our goal is the fast and effective transfer of the knowledge and capability it took us decades to compress into this experience, not dependence on third-party support. What advice would you give leaders who feel overwhelmed right now? Stop assuming the problem is effort, time, or money. You cannot control everything around you, but you do have agency over how your brain reacts and how that reaction impacts others. When leaders understand that and learn to work with human biology rather than against it, leadership becomes less exhausting and far more effective. That ancient wisdom still holds: know thyself. The difference is, today we have the science to prove why this improves the quality of life and hits the bottom line, hard! Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from David Bovis

Written by Natasha B. Russell Darby, Transformation Architect A dynamic force in the entrepreneurial world, Natasha B. Russell Darby (NBR) is the Founder & CEO of NBR Global Solutions Inc. With a passion for empowering purpose-driven ventures, NBR Global Solutions offers coaching, speaking, training, and consulting services that equip entrepreneurs, businesses & non-profits with the tools they need to succeed. In high-pressure leadership environments, performance is shaped less by strategy and more by internal capacity. This article reveals how emotional intelligence, nervous system regulation, and resilience create measurable returns for CEOs navigating complexity, crisis, and rapid change. The invisible tax on performance I’ve seen firsthand that the most expensive “leak” in any organization is rarely found on a spreadsheet. Instead, it is found in the “Adrenaline Tax,” the cost of unmanaged stress, low emotional intelligence (EQ), and the inability of leadership to navigate a crisis with a calm nervous system. In today’s volatile market, “resilience” is often dismissed as a soft skill. However, for the modern CEO, resilience is a hard asset. It is the ability to navigate high-stakes public-sector change or personal transitions without losing brand integrity, team trust, or operational momentum. The science of the Sound Mind True resilience is rooted in what I call the “Sound Mind.” From a physiological perspective, a leader who is perpetually in a state of high cortisol, or stress, cannot access the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for high-level strategy, empathy, and creative problem-solving. The regulation effect: A leader’s nervous system is a thermostat. If the leader is operating from a place of anxiety or “survival mode,” the entire team will mirror that dysregulation. This leads to higher turnover, lower productivity, and a breakdown in stakeholder trust. Strategic communication and high EQ: High EQ allows a leader to hear the “subtext” in a room. In my 20 years of experience, the most successful leaders are those who can communicate through a crisis while maintaining their own internal peace. They don’t just react. They respond with precision. Measuring the ROI of emotional intelligence When a leader invests in their own emotional resilience and strategic clarity, the return on investment is immediate and measurable: Accelerated decision-making: You spend less time in “analysis paralysis” or fear-based hesitation. Higher team retention: People stay where they feel “safe” and led by a stable authority. Brand integrity: You maintain a consistent “public face” even when navigating private storms, ensuring that your reputation remains untarnished. The path forward Leadership is not just about what you do. It’s about the quality of the person you are becoming while you do it. Your ability to remain “sound-minded” in the midst of a storm is what sets you apart as a true transformation architect. As the founder of NBR Global Solutions, Natasha is the creator of the proprietary B.O.S.S. Framework, a transformative methodology designed to help executives and entrepreneurs build “inside-out” brands rooted in resilience, authority, and mental clarity. Her unique perspective is forged in the trenches of leadership. She doesn’t just coach strategy, she lives it daily in one of the most demanding communication environments in the country. A dedicated advocate for emotional intelligence in leadership, Natasha’s mission is to help leaders move from “fight or flight” to a state of governed success. Learn more about the B.O.S.S. Framework and the 90-Day Executive Strategy Intensive at my website . Follow me on Facebook and Instagram  for more info! Read more from Natasha B. Russell Natasha B. Russell Darby, Transformation Architect NBR is driven to transform lives and businesses through impactful leadership and strategic communication. With a passion for purpose-driven leadership, she empowers clients to lead with purpose, confidence, and clarity. NBR's expertise in communication, branding, and public relations enables her clients to achieve their business goals and unlock new opportunities. As a sought-after speaker and event host, she inspires audiences to reach their full potential, both personally and professionally. Dedicated to making a positive impact globally, Natasha actively volunteers her time in support of youth.

Written by Dr. Pellumb Kabashi, Founder and CEO of Tax Expert Today Dr. Pellumb Kabashi is a distinguished executive in taxation, finance, and strategic advisory, with advanced expertise in entity structuring, wealth preservation, and global business growth. He leads Tax Expert Today, guiding clients toward sustainable success through sophisticated strategies. Earning a high income is often assumed to create financial freedom and long-term security. Yet many high income professionals, including doctors, executives, attorneys, and founders, quietly feel financially stuck despite strong earnings. The problem is rarely income. It is usually the absence of a coordinated financial strategy designed for higher income realities. Why earning more often creates more financial pressure instead of freedom Early in a professional career, the financial formula is simple. Earn more, save more, and gradually build wealth. That approach works until income reaches a level where financial complexity accelerates faster than awareness. As income increases, tax exposure rises disproportionately, financial decisions multiply, and mistakes become significantly more expensive. Many professionals continue operating with the same financial habits they developed when their income was far lower. At higher income levels, earning more without structural change often creates pressure rather than freedom. Income is not wealth and confusing the two is costly Income is temporary. Wealth is durable. High income depends on continued performance. Wealth depends on financial structure. When income is not supported by intentional planning, professionals become vulnerable to career changes, market shifts, and personal transitions. True wealth is not measured by gross income. It is measured by how effectively income is converted into long term control, flexibility, and optionality. High income professionals who understand this distinction stop focusing only on income growth and begin building sustainable wealth systems. Why taxes quietly become the largest obstacle for high income professionals For most high income professionals, taxes represent the single largest ongoing expense. Yet tax planning is often reactive rather than proactive. Many assume that a properly prepared tax return equals effective tax strategy. In reality, tax compliance documents the past. Tax planning shapes the future. Without forward looking tax planning, salary increases, bonuses, and additional income streams frequently result in diminishing after tax returns. Over time, excessive tax exposure creates a silent drag on wealth building. Professionals remain productive and financially successful on paper, but their net worth grows slower than expected. This gap between effort and outcome is a primary reason high income earners feel financially stuck. The hidden cost of reactive financial decisions As income grows, financial decisions become more frequent and more complex. Retirement planning, entity structure, investment timing, compensation strategy, and benefit coordination all require attention. Without an integrated financial framework, these decisions are made in isolation. Each decision may appear reasonable on its own, but collectively they lack alignment. Inefficiencies compound quietly year after year. High income professionals who regain financial clarity do not make more decisions. They make fewer, better coordinated decisions that work together to support long term financial goals. Why traditional financial advice often fails high income earners Many professionals unknowingly outgrow traditional financial advice. Standard financial guidance is designed for simplicity and scale. It rarely accounts for tax complexity, income variability, or advanced planning needs. Once income crosses a certain threshold, personalized financial strategy becomes essential. This is why many high income earners feel they are doing everything right while still sensing that something is missing. The advice they are following was never designed for their financial reality. What is actually missing for most high income professionals What is missing is not effort, intelligence, or discipline. It is intentional financial design. Financial clarity emerges when income, tax strategy, entity structure, and long term planning are treated as parts of a single system. When financial decisions are coordinated, progress becomes predictable and confidence replaces uncertainty. Professionals who implement this approach often describe it as a turning point. Money becomes a strategic tool rather than a constant source of stress. Redefining success beyond income alone At higher income levels, financial success is no longer defined by how much is earned. It is defined by how much is retained, protected, and aligned with long term objectives. High income professionals who feel financially secure are not relying on guesswork or hope. Their progress is the result of structure, foresight, and coordination. Income is earned. Wealth is built. Understanding when the rules change and adjusting accordingly is what separates financial pressure from lasting security. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Pellumb Kabashi Dr. Pellumb Kabashi, Founder and CEO of Tax Expert Today Dr. Pellumb Kabashi, DBA, CES, CFE, EA, is an accomplished executive in taxation, finance, and strategic advisory. With decades of expertise in wealth preservation, entity structuring, and global planning, he has guided entrepreneurs, executives, and high-net-worth clients through complex financial landscapes. As founder of Tax Expert Today, Dr. Kabashi delivers advanced strategies that integrate taxation, business growth, and long-term wealth building. His mission is to empower leaders with clarity and confidence in navigating the intersection of finance, strategy, and success.

Written by Lilyan Fowler M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Founder-Mental Health Counselor Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling and offers accessible virtual therapy for marginalized communities across Texas. They are an affirming, trauma-informed therapist who supports and empowers clients through an attachment-based approach. Secure relationships are not found; they are created, nurtured, and constantly evolving. Attraction, lust, and worldly possessions are not enough to sustain a love that lasts. A healthy love is a life of coming back to the table to reconnect and return to safety. When we understand how we provide and receive love, we can begin exploring the origins of these relational patterns. This deepens our understanding of how we show up for ourselves and in our relationships. Discover how you give and receive love Love is not one-size-fits-all; every relationship is unique. By understanding your love language and what truly makes you feel seen, you can feel hopeful and motivated to build stronger, more meaningful connections.[1] Before diving into our relationship patterns, we must discover how we best express and receive love. Awareness and attunement are the keys to forming the deep emotional bonds necessary for lasting, meaningful connections. We often seek the love we believe we deserve, simultaneously loving our partner the way we want to be loved, but not always in a way that makes them feel most seen and appreciated. “I just want my partner to show that they love me the way I do for them.” When emotional disconnection sets in, it is not uncommon to start keeping score, mentally tracking all the ways you show up for your partner, while also tallying the ways they fall short in meeting your expectations. Over time, this can leave you feeling unappreciated, undesirable, and misunderstood. If disconnection is unaddressed, it can grow into resentment. Taking ownership of your role and expressing your needs clearly early on helps prevent this and keeps the relationship healthy. Ask yourself: When do I feel most loved, accepted, appreciated, and understood? Developing this self-awareness can help you identify patterns and take meaningful steps toward healthier relationships. Understanding your love language and your partner’s helps you translate concepts into tangible, everyday actions. The five love languages are gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service.[1] “In my work with clients experiencing disconnection, a common theme emerges. One partner may crave words of affirmation, while the other shows love through acts of service. Even though care is present, it can go unrecognized, leaving one partner feeling insecure or undesirable. Naming this difference often brings relief, helping clients see the love that’s already there and opening the door to clearer, more intentional communication.” Share yours openly, discuss it, and practice expressing love in your partner's preferred language through small, intentional actions to strengthen your connection. Are you loving your partner in the way you want to be loved, or in the way they feel most loved? Has your partner been showing you love in their own way, but you have struggled to recognize it because it does not align with your preferred language? If you realize that neither of you has been fully meeting each other’s emotional needs, use it as an opportunity, not a criticism. Collaborate on ways each of you can show up more intentionally for one another. This is how we begin to break the cycle of disconnection. Intentionally loving your partner as they deserve, through self-reflection, communication, and consistent action, actively strengthens connection.[2][3] Reconnection and lasting love begin with awareness and commitment. Why you love the way you do The ways we loved and were loved as children shape how we show up in relationships today. Understanding these attachment patterns helps you recognize old cycles and create healthier, more secure connections.[4] Identifying your love language is an essential step in helping us fully grasp how we relate and why we show up the way we do in relationships. How we loved and were loved as children often echo into adulthood, influencing how we connect, communicate, and seek security in our partnerships.[4] We have been learning how to navigate relationships since childhood. Our parents are the earliest role models of healthy relationships. Some of you might be thinking, “Healthy relationships?” or “I grew up in an abusive home,” and maybe your parents are still married, but they do not get along. Attachment patterns from childhood often show up in our adult connections. For example: “Clients who were silenced or dismissed as children, and witnessed degradation and shouting during conflict, often are defensive and reactive when navigating disagreements with their partner. Yelling is how they were taught to be heard.” If you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance, sabotaging yourself, or falling into toxic cycles, you deserve to find a love that sees you, hears you, and understands you. Recognizing your attachment style, whether secure, anxious, avoidant, or anxious-avoidant, facilitates examination of how your interactions with your parents shape your current relationships.[4] A secure attachment style develops through healthy emotional bonds throughout childhood and into adulthood (Johnson, 2008; Johnson, 2019). Secure adults felt safe, loved, valued, and understood by their caregivers as children. There was trust that their caregiver would meet their needs, emotionally support them during difficult times, and help them develop the tools to navigate the world with self-compassion and confidence. Nurturing ties allow individuals to grow into secure adults capable of a safe, fulfilling love. An insecure attachment style often develops when caregivers are inconsistent or inattentive to the child’s physical, emotional, or intellectual needs.[4] Insecure attachment can manifest in different ways: Anxious, constant need for reassurance, fear of abandonment Avoidant, maintaining a guarded heart, desire for intimacy, but fear of rejection Anxious-avoidant, push-pull between wanting closeness and fear of getting hurt Children with insecure attachment may carry this into adulthood, affecting relationships. Even if insecure love has always been your default, you can heal and experience a love rooted in understanding, safety, and appreciation. Often, our significant others can be catalysts for our inner child to recover because together, you redefine what strong, healthy emotional bonds can look like today, tomorrow, and for many years to come.[2]. Once you have identified your attachment style, you can begin healing and practicing secure attachment. Lasting bonds are not free from hardship; they are about returning to safety and connection together.[2] How to turn awareness into deeper connection Awareness alone is not enough; love grows through intention and practice. Applying what you have learned about your patterns, attachment, and love languages helps you foster relationships that feel safe, valued, and eternal. Understanding your attachment patterns offers clarity in relationships. Awareness is only the beginning. Overcoming fears or shame around vulnerability requires intentional effort and the practice of secure love.[4][5] Many of us spend years searching for our one true love, but find ourselves in situationships, fleeting relationships, or relationships that fizzle out. You deserve a love that is safe and secure, and with patience and commitment, you can create it. To create a secure, lasting connection, we must confront our own toxic patterns, the ones we learned and repeat in every relationship. Do you ever find yourself: Shutting down during conflict? Struggling with jealousy or needing constant reassurance? Avoiding emotions, losing yourself in relationships, or sabotaging connections with assumptions? If your parent or guardian was absent, hypercritical, dismissive, inattentive, negligent, or abusive, your struggle to build healthy relationships today is not a mystery. It is a natural response to what you were taught. That inner child still lives within you, even as an adult. It shows up in your relationships with colleagues, friends, family, partners, and most importantly, in the relationship you have with yourself. Children with insecure attachment often internalize early dynamics as reflections of their own worth, making it hard to build a secure sense of self as adults. “My clients who were taught that love was conditional as children often struggle with jealousy, stonewalling, reactivity, and vulnerability. Clients might over-apologize and over-function because they honestly believe they are undeserving of unconditional love.” Understanding where these patterns came from is the first step toward rewriting your story. Now that you know what your attachment style is, here are five ways to challenge insecure patterns and practice secure love.[2][3][5] Identify your inner bully. Whose voice is it? If you would not say it to your Granny, do not say it to yourself. Do not make assumptions. Be curious, ask for clarity. Assumptions lead to listening to respond rather than understanding. Identify and communicate your feelings. Use “I feel…” statements. Avoiding feelings breeds disconnection and resentment. Set and maintain healthy boundaries. Remember, an actual boundary requires action on your part, not others. Prioritize self-care. Show yourself the same love and compassion you would provide your partner or friend. People-pleasing and self-sacrificing are not love; they are patterns to unlearn. Insecure attachment does not determine your destiny. Healing attachment wounds is an intentional, ongoing choice, and every moment of awareness is a step toward the secure love you deserve.[2][4][5] Love is patient and kind, but above all, it is the return to connection and safety. “True love is accepting your partner for who they are today and who they will continue to grow to become, and committing to return to connection again and again.” From the therapy room Growth often happens in the moments we want to avoid, the pauses after conflict, the urge to shut down, or the discomfort of naming what we need. These moments are not signs of failure; they are opportunities to practice returning to connection. Start your journey to connection Strengthen your relationships, honor your needs, and cultivate the resilient bond you deserve, with guidance and tools to help you grow and heal. You have the tools to build the love and connection you want. By understanding how you give and receive love, exploring your relational patterns, and practicing secure ways of relating, you plant the seeds for nourishing, meaningful relationships. Seeking support is not a commitment to someone else; it is a commitment to yourself and to enriching the resilient bond you are ready to embrace. If you are ready to strengthen your relationships, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize your emotional well-being, I would be honored to soar with you on this journey. At Fowler Counseling , we offer support, practical tools, and strategies to help you grow, heal, and create the connections you have been dreaming of. “You dare to invest in yourself, and the power to cultivate the love and connection you seek.” Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from   Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC Lilyan Fowler M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Founder-Mental Health Counselor Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling, offering accessible virtual therapy across Texas. As a queer, neurodivergent, and disabled therapist, they bring lived experience, empathy, and cultural humility to their work with marginalized communities. Grounded in trauma-informed care and attachment science, Lilyan helps clients build resilience, reconnect with their authentic selves, and define their own vision of personal success. They are dedicated to supporting clients in fostering and maintaining healthy relationships with themselves and others. Through their work, Lilyan strives to make mental health more approachable and inclusive for all. References: [1] (Chapman, 2015) [2] Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown and Company. [3] Gottman, J. M. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work (4th ed.). Harmony Books. [4] Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press. [5] Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.

Written by Helen Jun Chen, Guest Writer I want to feel, but my mind won’t let me. Have you ever wanted closeness, but at the same time felt afraid of it, as if it were unsafe or even dangerous? I never understood why I held onto this belief. I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn’t let it go. Until one day, I started writing my book and found its root. That’s when I realized this wasn’t a personality flaw. It was an attachment pattern. Even if that question doesn’t quite fit your experience, keep reading. Attachment patterns shape all of us, how we receive love, how we treat others, and how we relate in relationships. In this article, I will walk you through the four emotional attachment styles and share how I came to recognize my own. And maybe, through that lens, you’ll start to understand yours, too. What is emotional attachment? This theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, describes how people emotionally bond with and relate to others, especially in close relationships. These patterns usually form in early childhood based on how caregivers respond to a child’s emotional needs. Before we go deeper, I’ll share a simple visual overview I created of the four attachment styles, so you have a clear picture of the framework we’re about to explore and how each style is formed. At its core, children learn two unconscious beliefs: Am I worthy of care and love? Can I rely on others to be there for me? Different caregiving patterns lead to different answers and, therefore, different attachment styles. So, let’s start with the four main types of attachment, and I’ll show you how each one is formed. 1. Secure attachment Core belief: “I am worthy of love, and others can be trusted.” This is the healthiest attachment style. People with secure attachment feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence. They can communicate needs clearly, handle conflict without panic, and trust their partner without losing their sense of self. They’re steady, supportive, and emotionally available. If you meet someone like this, you usually don’t have to guess where you stand. Their behavior is consistent. How it forms: Secure attachment usually comes from consistent emotional safety in childhood. Caregivers are reliably responsive. The child learns: My feelings matter People come back It’s safe to depend on others My personal reflection (why this isn’t me): When I was a child, my parents were hustling, so they sent me to China to live with my grandparents. Since I have memory, I’ve already been without my parents. I stayed in China for five years, and before I reunited with my parents in Hungary at age eight, I saw them only about three times a year. And every time they left, they left secretly, so I couldn’t protest, couldn’t hold onto them, and couldn’t even say goodbye. Each time it happened, I felt like the world was ending, like I was being abandoned all over again. So no, I didn’t grow up with emotional safety. I didn’t grow up learning that people stay, or that love is stable. That’s why I know I’m definitely not in this category, and this attachment style hasn’t developed in me. 2. Anxious attachment Core belief: “I’m not sure I’m enough. I might be abandoned.” These people have a strong desire for closeness and reassurance. They are really sensitive to signs of rejection and often overthink or constantly seek validation. There is a deep fear of abandonment underneath everything. They tend to be passionate in relationships, but also emotionally clingy or overwhelmed when their needs feel unmet. How it forms: This attachment style develops from inconsistent care in early childhood. Caregivers are sometimes loving, sometimes unavailable. Attention is unpredictable. As a child, you learn that love is not stable. It has to be earned. You start to believe that you must behave, perform, or try harder to receive care. Over time, the child learns that love is uncertain and that they have to stay alert to keep people close. If I don’t try hard enough, I’ll be abandoned. This belief, that love has to be earned through effort and performance, is something I’ve explored more deeply in my writing on how women often pay an invisible emotional cost for ambition . My personal reflection: This was definitely a pattern I showed in childhood, especially the extreme clinginess. My parents would sometimes visit me, then disappear again. That pattern taught me something early. Love is not forever. Love is uncertain. So I tried to be good. I tried to behave. I tried to be the “good girl,” hoping that if I did everything right, my parents would come more often, stay longer, and choose me over their careers. But this changed over time. When I returned from China to Hungary at age eight and reunited with my parents, something slowly shifted. The environment changed, and so did I. 3. Avoidant attachment Core belief: “I can only rely on myself.” People with this attachment style tend to value independence over closeness. They feel uncomfortable with vulnerability, tend to suppress emotions, and often pull away when relationships become intense or demanding. They are emotionally distant, slow to commit, and often appear self-sufficient, even when they’re not. How it forms: This attachment style usually develops in response to emotional unavailability in childhood. Caregivers may be distant, dismissive, or rejecting. Emotional needs are minimized by not allowing crying and discouraging the expression of feelings. Vulnerability is seen as weakness. What the child learns: Emotions are a problem. Needing others leads to disappointment or rejection. So the safest option becomes relying only on myself. My personal reflection: When I returned from China to Hungary at the age of eight, I thought I was finally going to receive the love from my parents that I was craving, a love that wouldn’t disappear. But my parents were still hustling. And while they were physically present this time, the house felt cold. No one was truly there emotionally. Conversations were transactional and practical, but never warm or caring. When I struggled at school and tried to talk about it, my parents always blamed me, saying it was my fault. When I cried, I was told it was a weakness. And over time, I stopped trying to explain myself. Slowly, I learned something painful: people cannot be depended on, and maybe closeness is something that does not even exist. So I adapted. I turned inward, and I learned to rely on myself. In adulthood, this turned into fear, fear of letting people get too close. Vulnerability started to feel unsafe. But this still isn’t fully me. Because at the same time, I do long for closeness. Just like when I was in China, counting the days until my parents’ next visit, holding on to hope. So this isn’t the end of the story. Let’s bring it to the next level. 4. Fearful-avoidant attachment Core belief: “I want closeness, but it feels unsafe.” This attachment style is a mix of anxious and avoidant traits. There is a deep desire for intimacy, paired with an equally deep fear of being hurt. It often shows up as push-pull behavior, difficulty trusting others, and relationships that feel intense but unstable, confusing for both sides. They want closeness, but when someone gets too close, they panic. Relationships with them can feel hot and cold, a cycle of coming close, then pulling away. Their nervous system doesn’t know how to feel safe in connection. As a result, they may shut down emotionally or become reactive when vulnerability is triggered. (That’s me.) How it forms: This style develops from fear. It often begins when a child receives both comfort and fear from the same caregivers. The caregivers who were supposed to offer safety also created confusion, chaos, or pain. This creates a nervous system that associates love with unpredictability and danger. What the child learns is deeply conflicting: I need closeness, but closeness is dangerous. They internalize the belief that people hurt the ones they love, and that love itself can’t be trusted. Over time, this creates deep trust issues and emotional chaos. My personal reflection: When I was in China, love was uncertain. That made me extremely needy and clingy, always waiting for my parents’ next visit and longing for closeness. When I returned to Hungary, the opposite happened. I was emotionally neglected, and I wanted to grow up as soon as possible to escape this unbreathable environment. My parents didn’t have a happy marriage. They shouted. They fought. I remember the broken glasses, the flying objects, and the destroyed furniture. As a child, watching those scenes was terrifying. And then the next day, everything would be silent, as if nothing had happened. That instability made me feel unsafe around the very people I depended on. But I still wanted their love and wished for affection that never came. So an internal conflict formed at the same time: Closeness is something I desperately want Closeness is something that hurts In adulthood: I still unconsciously crave affection, the kind I never received as a child. But at the same time, I’ve learned to depend only on myself. And when someone starts to get close to me, I panic. I push them away. Unconsciously, it’s telling me that if I let people in, they will hurt me, making attachment feel dangerous. My mind consistently whispers to me: if I let them close, they will leave anyway, suddenly and unpredictably. Just like my parents did. Just like the fights that came out of nowhere. Just like their divorce. Somewhere along the way, I learned to believe that people hurt the ones they love. So my mind stepped in to protect me. I learned to manage my feelings instead of feeling them. To stay guarded and to stay ahead of the pain. And eventually, I never let myself overdepend on anyone or feel too much toward them. Recognition is the first step, but not the end Understanding my attachment style didn’t magically fix it. I know the belief is outdated. I know not everyone leaves. But every time I try to open up, the fear from those childhood scenes comes back, so strong that I can’t move past it. Because insight alone doesn’t calm a nervous system trained in fear. Still, recognition matters. It turns shame into understanding. It turns “what’s wrong with me?” into “this makes sense.” And that matters. Because recognition is the first step. The next is unlearning. Real change doesn’t come from fixing ourselves, but from creating safety and capacity for growth, a shift I’ve also written about in the context of choosing growth over constant self-correction . And you? Which attachment style felt familiar to you? Have you started to recognize your own patterns, and if so, have you found ways to soften them? I’m still learning. Still unlearning. But naming the pattern was the first time I stopped blaming myself and started understanding myself. This reflection emerged while I was writing my book, a longer exploration of the emotional patterns we carry and how they shape the way we move through work and life. Connect with me If you’d like to read more of my work, you can find it on helenjunchen.com , connect with me on Instagram ( @cjhelen_ ), or subscribe to my newsletter for reflections on work and everyday life. Helen Jun Chen, Guest Writer Helen Jun Chen (pen name: CJ. Helen) is a writer and project management professional, born in Europe with Asian roots, exploring the space between external achievement and internal experience. She writes for capable professionals who are often exhausted or questioning why success doesn’t feel the way they expected. Her work blends lived experience with reflections on career development, workplace behavior, and emotional well-being, grounded in the belief that well-being is the foundation of sustainable professional success.

Written by Honor Tremain, Nutritionist, Author, and Journalist Honor Tremain is an award-winning longevity nutritionist, author, and journalist whose journey into nutrition began with a personal health crisis. Determined to reclaim her life, she completed qualifications in nutrition, eventually healing herself and going on to complete a Bachelor of Science degree. The pet food sector is a booming industry, with over 50% of all households having a dog or cat, exceeding 1 billion animals worldwide. According to the Fortune Business Report 2025 , global spending on pet food is upwards of $132.4 billion and is estimated to reach $179 billion by 2032. The massive growth of this industry can partly be explained by people’s love for companion animals, particularly with the increase in human anxiety, loneliness, and depression, where pets are seen as potential solutions. Another factor is that younger high-income earners, like Gen Z, are opting to have children later in life, having fewer children, or none at all, and are instead raising “furry family members.” ( P Alexander ) This humanization of pets, with more disposable income directed towards them, has led to the demand for higher-quality “human-grade” pet foods, but it has also created a few dilemmas. Many of the new premium high-meat diets are exceeding recommended nutritional requirements for animals, potentially making them sick while also putting an unsustainable burden on the environment. But first: A bit about dogs Dogs appeared on Earth about 20 million years ago, and from the get-go, they were foragers. Many ancient remains indicate their diets were extremely diverse, including a mix of meat, marine life, plants, vegetables, fruits, and ancient grains like millet. Their friendly nature, joyful energy, loyalty, and instinctive bond with humans have made them wonderful companions and easy best friends to many. And they’re not just adorable, loving, cuddly, and cute, they’re also highly intelligent, useful, and protective, being trustworthy companions, guides, and guards to people in need. Some facts The global pet food ingredients market is expected to increase from $32.2-$44.5 billion from 2022 to 2027, with pressure to support what’s on trend, currently, that’s more meat. The pet food sector is closely linked to the livestock sector, where dogs and cats currently consume 9% of all livestock animals globally. In the U.S., it’s 20%. Consumption of livestock is currently at unsustainable levels, with roughly 92 billion land animals, 124 billion farmed fish, and 1.1-2.2 trillion wild fish being slaughtered each year globally. ( A Mood ) Emissions from the livestock sector account for the same amount of global greenhouse gases as the combined exhaust emissions from all cars, planes, trains, and boats on Earth. According to WWF , deforestation due to livestock needs is responsible for 10% of all global warming while destroying essential wildlife habitats, where more than 50% of the world’s land-based plants and animals, and 75% of all bird species, need these forests to survive, leading to extinction. If that’s not concerning enough, with the rising popularity of high-raw meat meals, the environmental impact of some pets’ diets is overtaking that of humans. In the U.S. alone, dogs and cats are producing roughly 30% as much bio-waste (poop) as people do! How has this happened? Clever marketing, poor recommendations, overfeeding, and the concept that higher meat diets are healthier for your animal are the drivers. However, international environmental protection agencies such as the WWF, veterinarians, and health advocates around the world are concerned. Because the next most baffling thing about all of this, other than the financial and environmental costs, is that these diets may not be good for your furry bestie! Food allergies, cancers, pancreatitis, kidney disease, anxiety, gut, inflammatory, and immune disorders are all on the rise. Health concerns The Journal of Internal Medicine reports that 11 million premature deaths and 255 million disabilities each year are attributable to poor diet, excessive consumption of processed and trans fats, high salt and sugar intake, physical inactivity, and a widespread Omega-3 deficiency in humans. And it isn’t just people who are paying the price. Our pets are increasingly affected by the same modern pressures. Cancer is now the leading cause of death in dogs and a growing threat to cats, with the American Veterinary Medical Association estimating that approximately one in four dogs will develop cancer during their lifetime. This study  explains: “The increased risk of cancer in humans and dogs is a consequence of recent extensions of lifespan, body size beyond evolutionarily determined limits, diet, lifestyle, and environmental toxins.” In essence, modern living is impacting all species alike. Overfeeding, ultra-processed ingredients, artificial additives, preservatives, flavor enhancers, chemical residues, and excessive meat intake can all disrupt the gut microbiome, accelerate toxic load, and impact health. Over time, these imbalances can contribute to kidney strain, allergy and immune dysfunction, chronic inflammation, and increased cancer risk. All the while, an important fact has been overlooked, protein requirements for dogs are not set. According to leading regulatory bodies such as the Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO), protein needs for dogs vary depending on age, breed, sex, season, activity level, and overall health status. Research indicates that protein levels exceeding 30% offer no additional benefit and that excessive protein can be harmful. So, what’s the answer? Dry food? The dry kibble vs. Raw argument, which one is right? Only recently have audits into the pet food industry revealed just how unhealthy conventional pet foods can be. This concern has been recognized by many mindful pet owners for some time and sparked the raw meat pet food revolution. Discoveries found that a large proportion of conventional dry pet foods contain low-quality fillers, processed grains such as wheat and corn, chemical by-products, inconsistent and substandard protein sources, and, in some, even sawdust. Yes, sawdust can be hidden in some of the most popular pet foods as ‘powdered cellulose.’ Here is an ingredient list from a well-known, vet-recommended dry-food formula for joints. Disturbingly, many of these ingredients are known to contribute to inflammation and may worsen pain rather than relieve it. Wheat, whole grain corn (both fillers), flaxseed, chicken meal, soybean mill run, corn gluten meal (both often GMO), pork fat, chicken liver flavor (additive), fish oil, powdered cellulose (sawdust), pork liver flavor (additive), lactic acid, dried beet pulp (linked to dilated cardiomyopathy – DCM), potassium chloride, L-lysine, calcium carbonate, iodized salt, choline chloride, and added synthetic vitamins and minerals. It’s no surprise that the grain-free & raw/wet pet food movement emerged in response to this. But current studies reveal that wet and raw pet food diets carry a significantly greater environmental impact than dry foods, emitting up to eight times more CO₂-equivalent greenhouse gases, largely due to the energy, land, water, refrigeration, and transportation required to produce and distribute them. The University of Edinburgh underscores this point, noting: “Choosing grain-free, wet or raw foods can result in higher environmental impacts compared to standard dry kibble foods. Clear labeling and the use of meat cuts not typically consumed by humans could help ensure dogs remain healthy while reducing their environmental pawprint.” – John Harvey, Royal School of Veterinary Studies What can we do The AAFCO states that the key to health is balance from high-quality, digestible proteins, fats, carbs, water, and vitamins and minerals coming from varied sources, including some meats, marine (fish, seaweeds, microalgae), healthy whole grains (examples, see below), eggs, vegetables, and fruit. Many governing bodies, including this study , highlight the need to decrease the amount of meat our pets and ourselves are ingesting and to start consuming plant-based alternatives as well. This helps slow deforestation and supports healthier bodies. Choose eco-mindful companies like the new Australian Award-winning Daya Pet Food Co., which has been at the forefront of this movement for a while. They nutritionally design all their supplemental and treat formulas using a percentage of high-quality single animal proteins, alongside sustainable plant proteins sourced from microalgae and whole, organic plant foods high in Omega-3. This boosts overall health while lowering inflammation, deforestation, methane, and greenhouse gas production. Use natural, raw whole foods in between this, including less popular cuts of meats, fresh vegetables, fruits, and healthy anti-inflammatory whole grains like brown rice, millet, quinoa, and amaranth. These are high in protein, low in allergens, high in fiber, and support a good gut microbiome for immune and behavioral health. Choose smaller pets and have fewer of them. Be sure not to overfeed your animal. This saves you money, lessens bio-waste, and reduces the risk of disease for them. Final thought Loving our pets shouldn’t come at such a significant cost to us financially, to their health, or to the planet’s future. By stepping away from extremes and embracing balance, science, and sustainability, we can nourish all our animals kindly in ways that honor their biology, support their ecosystems, and ensure that love truly does no harm. Because caring for our pets means caring for the world they live in too. Find & support Find award-winning health and eco-mindfulness pet foods from Daya Pet Food Co. here  or contact them here. SeaO2 Nanno is growing some of the most exciting new plant proteins in the form of microalgae, find them here . If you’d like to support the WWF  follow this link or donate via Tap4Change . & receive 10% off your first Daya Pet Food Co. order.  Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Honor Tremain Honor Tremain, Nutritionist, Author, and Journalist Honor Tremain is an award-winning longevity nutritionist, author, and journalist whose journey into health began with a personal crisis where, between the ages of 18 and 23, Honor was bedridden with multiple chronic illnesses & determined to reclaim her life, she completed a Diploma in Nutrition, eventually healing herself, and went on to complete a science degree. Honor opened a thriving nutrition practice in Sydney, Australia, became a columnist and feature journalist for national and international publications, and in 2015, Honor published her debut book, A Diet in Paradise. Most recently, she founded Daya Pet Food Co., a health-focused and sustainable dog food company that was proudly awarded Best Health-Conscious Dog Food Brand 2025. References: The global environmental paw print of pet food P Alexander , A Berri,  D Moran ,  D Reay , MDA Rounsevell Global Environmental Change, 2020•Elsevier https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0034528824003849 https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/press-release/pet-food-market-10028   https://www.hillspet.com.au/pet-care/nutrition-feeding/is-more-protein-better-for-your-pets-food?lightboxfired=true   https://www.ed.ac.uk/news/climate-impact-of-dogs-dinner-revealed   https://www.petmd.com/dog/nutrition/evr_dg_whats_in_a_balanced_dog_food   https://www.humaneworld.org/en/blog/more-animals-ever-922-billion-are-used https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0959378020307366:~:text=We%20find%20annual%20global%20dry,as%20Mozambique%20or%20the%20Philippines  http://wwf.org.uk/learn/effects-of/deforestation   https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sustainable-food-systems/articles/10.3389/fsufs.2025.1569372/fullref54 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12346004/

While public transport can be a more convenient and economical form of travel, accidents may occur when you least expect them. An accident on a public bus can leave you feeling confused and distraught, especially if you sustain a serious injury. Knowing what to do after this type of incident is critical and can help you protect your health. Taking prompt action will ensure that your rights are preserved. Prioritize Safety and Medical Attention If you are injured by a Metro bus in Houston , you should prioritize your safety . Check yourself and others for injuries and call emergency services  if necessary. It is always a good idea to get a medical evaluation , regardless of how minor the injuries may appear. Sometimes, symptoms may not appear until hours or days after the incident.  If there are any legal or insurance issues later, medical records can serve as important evidence and help resolve disputes. Report the Accident to the Authorities After ensuring safety and calling emergency services, report the accident  to law enforcement. Police or transit authorities will prepare official reports that serve as an objective record of the events. These records will be critical when you need to inform insurance companies or lawyers of the details. Report the facts of the event without conjecture or attribution of blame.   Request a copy of the report  for your records, as you may have to share it with other parties. Document the Scene and Collect Evidence Gather any evidence from the scene if you can while waiting for authorities: Photograph the bus , other vehicles involved, the condition of the road, and any visible injuries. These images could also clear things up later and help corroborate your account. Ask for the contact details  of witnesses, the bus driver, and anyone else involved in the accident. Statements from witnesses  to the accident will help strengthen your case. Notify Insurance Providers Promptly Notify your insurance carrier  of the incident as soon as possible. Prompt communication can prevent complications and delays. Share reports, pictures, and medical files . Answer truthfully, and do not embellish your answers with conjecture or irrelevant details. Do not speculate on the details or downplay injuries; this could influence the result.   Understand Your Rights and Responsibilities It is crucial to find out what you are owed  and what you are responsible for. This depends on not just where the public bus service is based, but also the agency running it. There may be time limits for filing claims  or reporting injuries. Missing these deadlines could prevent you from claiming compensation or benefits.  To ensure you don't miss any steps, you should check local regulations or consult trusted sources. Consider Professional Guidance In some cases, there are legal complications in claims involving accidents on public transit. Where injuries are serious or liability is uncertain, you should consider consulting a professional . A lawyer who is well-versed in personal injury  cases can help you navigate the process and explain your options. They can manage paperwork and negotiate with insurance companies and other parties. Many personal injury lawyers offer free consultations . Stay Informed and Practice Patience Recovery and claims processes can take a long time. You should attend all doctors' appointments , stay updated  on the status of your claims, and communicate with other parties. Patience and persistence play key roles in reaching a satisfactory conclusion. Do not accept settlements  without understanding their consequences. Compensation should adequately address both the present and future consequences of the injury.  Remaining informed throughout the process leads to better results. Conclusion Experiencing injuries from a public bus accident can be challenging. In the aftermath of the event, taking clear, assertive steps will help you protect your health, legal rights, and financial security. Quick action , organization , and support  from professionals and loved ones provide a strong foundation for recovery. Being informed, patient, and proactive allows injured individuals to move forward with hope and resilience.

Written by Samantha Crapnell, Training Facilitator, Counsellor, Supervisor Samantha Crapnell is the founder of Training for Counsellors Ltd and practitioner-facilitator of professional qualifications and continuing professional development events to support the training and ongoing development of counsellors and clinical supervisors. Most of us start a private practice to help people. Some set out to feel stable and have consistency and predictability. Others want to grow, expand, and have a larger impact. Underpinning all of this is business-mindedness, the skill of turning values and vision into practical actions that support you at whatever stage of business ownership you find yourself. Private practitioners rarely set out to build a business in the traditional sense of the word. Most want more opportunity to do what they trained so hard for while earning a decent living. Somewhere along the way, the reality of running a practice, taxes, compliance, marketing, growth, and diversification, forces us to face an important business question. Do I want to be a business owner or an entrepreneur? This distinction between business ownership and entrepreneurism is more than semantics. How you answer it shapes your business and how you make decisions about it. Business owner mindset A business owner’s primary goal is reliability. Consistent services. Predictable income. Manageable risks. A business owner's thinking typically focuses on delivering a defined service well. Standards: Maintaining ethical, professional, and compliance standards while controlling costs and protecting profit margins can feel conflicting, but it is necessary. Consistency: Consistency is a core part of training for therapists, but it does not usually extend to business language. Extend the same principles of consistency from clinical practice to your emails, your invoicing, your communications, and your systems. Smoothness: Creating a practice that can function smoothly, without constant firefighting, makes room for continuity. The mindset is not small, but the repeatable actions that show the mindset may take time to develop. They demonstrate stability and control and can bring profitability, respect, and sustainability. Entrepreneurial mindset Entrepreneurs’ concerns move in a different direction. Motivated by the possibility of what could be, entrepreneurial thinking places emphasis on growth and opportunity, building connections beyond individual reputation . This usually comes with risk-taking and uncertainty management. Unlike business owners who focus on reliability and consistency, entrepreneurs are driven by innovation, curiosity, and a willingness to experiment. Entrepreneurs understand that setbacks and failures are inevitable on the path to success, and they view these experiences as valuable learning opportunities. Even with calculated risks, there is an acceptance that outcomes may be unpredictable. They are comfortable operating outside their comfort zones, pushing boundaries, and exploring new ventures even when the way forward is unclear. Business mindedness Business mindedness, having a working awareness of what it takes to build and then sustain a business over time, is required at any stage of running a business. Start-up stage If you are on the verge of starting private practice, you do not need a fully fledged plan. Business mindedness means being intentional about structure, priorities, and resources from the beginning. It may be that this is part of making the mental and emotional shift to private practice . Tracking costs, clarifying who you are and what you do, and establishing boundaries creates a good foundation that will see you through those early steps, let people know that you exist , and set you up for the future. Business owner years Experience earns insight that informs further business decisions. This is business mindedness in action. Systems, costs, boundaries, and quality are tested, tweaked, developed, and maintained. You will feel and experience how values and viability, care and cost, intention and execution both conflict and harmonise. The wisdom that business mindedness provides is the removal of any assumption that good clinical work automatically translates into sustainability. Entrepreneurial endeavours In my own case, entrepreneurism crept in after a few years of being a business owner. Those foundations built earlier mattered. They still matter. Without the earlier groundwork, any attempt to expand would have felt like a greater risk. It was stability and predictability that led to entrepreneurial thinking. Growth was no longer about doing more but about doing differently. For example, growing in private practice helped me to recognise where I was spending time that I did not need or want to be involved in anymore. Some tasks could be completed just as well, and usually better, by someone else. Recruiting a part-time team member to take on these responsibilities freed time to devote to ideas of growth and difference. Business mindedness in action meant recognising the trade-offs. In retrospect, it was not about doing less. It was about doing more of the things I enjoy, using time, resources, and energy strategically while still being relational, values-driven, and intentional. Business mindedness in action There are many ways that private practitioners demonstrate business mindedness without naming it. Naming a niche For example, in deciding to move from generalist practice to developing a niche, there is an understanding that there is a risk around whether clients will want the niche you are offering. Training costs time and money, and so it is an investment. Business ownership thinking meets continuing professional development and meets financial clarity. Investing in training of practitioners Continuing professional development is a standard expectation of ongoing professionalism. Gaining qualifications can embed a position as a business owner or pave the way to entrepreneurism. Business mindedness is the awareness that there is a financial outlay, a time outlay, and no guarantee of a future return on that investment. Price reviews There is a time in every therapist’s practice when pricing needs reviewing. Again, business mindedness facilitates the objective calculation of what price our services deserve, balancing client affordability with the value of the offering and the desire for personal and business sustainability. Business mindedness is the tool that bridges start up, business ownership, and optional entrepreneurship. Business mindedness is not something that is taught during counselling studies. That is okay, because it is a transferable skill set, drawing from something counsellors are already good at, supporting values and hopes in practicability. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Samantha Crapnell Samantha Crapnell, Training Facilitator, Counsellor, Supervisor Samantha Crapnell is a training provider and also in practice as a counsellor, clinical supervisor, and executive coach. Training for Counsellors Ltd was created so that counsellors can access alternative routes into and develop within the counselling profession through inclusive education and continuing professional development. Specialisms include anti-oppressive humanistic practices working with children, adolescents, and adults, neurodivergence, and solopreneurship.

Written by Claire Wilding, Founder of Lead Success Deliver & Leadership Consultant Claire Wilding is the founder of Lead Success Deliver, specialising in identity-led leadership, decision clarity, and execution under pressure. She works with founders and senior leaders navigating complexity, growth, and high-stakes responsibility. Leadership training often fails not because leaders lack capability, but because the conditions required for leadership to work are missing. Despite well-designed programmes and skilled participants, many organisations see impact fade under pressure, decisions escalate unnecessarily, and authority remain uneven. This article explores why leadership training doesn’t stick and how high-functioning organisations achieve lasting results by addressing leadership as infrastructure, not just behaviour. Most organisations invest in leadership training with the right intent. They want better decisions. Stronger leaders. Greater consistency. Yet despite capable people and well-designed programmes, the same patterns quietly persist: Decisions escalate unnecessarily. Senior leaders carry a disproportionate load. Authority varies widely between roles. Training impact fades under pressure. This is not a failure of leadership capability. It is a failure of leadership conditions. The hidden reality inside most organisations Leadership pressure rarely comes from doing too much. It comes from holding too much. Unclear decision ownership, ambiguous authority, and incomplete closure create invisible cognitive load. Leaders continue carrying decisions long after the action should have finished. Over time, this load compounds, reducing clarity, slowing execution, and increasing reliance on individual heroics. Training often adds skills without removing structural friction. Why skills training alone cannot carry the load Traditional leadership development focuses on: Communication Confidence Influence Resilience These matter. But when leaders operate in environments where: Decision boundaries are unclear. Authority must be repeatedly proven. Escalation becomes the default. Those skills become harder to apply, not easier. Leaders are asked to perform without a stable internal operating system. The organisations are seeing different results High-functioning organisations approach leadership development differently. Before asking leaders to perform better, they ask: What decisions truly belong where? What authority is structurally granted, not personally negotiated? What load can be removed, not managed? They treat leadership not as a behaviour set, but as infrastructure. Leadership infrastructure: The missing layer Leadership infrastructure focuses on the internal conditions that allow leadership capability to scale. It addresses three foundational layers: Decision architecture: Clarifies decision ownership, escalation thresholds, and closure standards. This reduces cognitive load and prevents unnecessary upward pressure. Quiet authority: Establishes internal authority so leaders lead without over-explaining, forcing, or seeking validation. Influence: Allows organisational impact to occur naturally, without reliance on urgency or personality. When these layers are in place, leadership skills land more effectively and endure under pressure. Why this matters for internal teams For HR, L&D, and transformation leaders, this shift changes everything. Leadership development becomes: Easier to deploy More consistent across populations Less dependent on individual resilience More defensible to governance and procurement It also reduces risk, particularly in succession, change programmes, and high-pressure roles. A safer way to introduce change Rather than replacing existing leadership programmes, infrastructure-led approaches sit underneath them. They: Strengthen current training Reduce overload during transformation Stabilise leaders before additional demands are placed on them This makes adoption smoother and political risk lower. What internal teams are noticing Where leadership infrastructure is introduced, internal teams observe: Fewer escalations Faster, cleaner decisions Greater leadership confidence without performativity Reduced dependency on a small number of “go-to” leaders Not because people are trying harder, but because the system is working better. The real measure of leadership maturity Leadership maturity is not how much leaders can carry. It is how little unnecessary load they are required to hold. Organisations that recognise this stop asking leaders to compensate for structural gaps and start designing conditions that support sustained authority and clarity. A final reflection Leadership training is valuable. But without the right internal conditions, it is doing more work than it should. The organisations seeing lasting impact are not training leaders to be stronger. They are building systems that allow leaders to stand steady. That is the difference between development and infrastructure. Internal note for HR and L&D teams This perspective is often introduced through a contained pilot focused on decision clarity and authority stability, allowing teams to validate impact before scaling. Follow me on LinkedIn , or visit my website  for more info! Read more from Claire Wilding Claire Wilding, Founder of Lead Success Deliver & Leadership Consultant Claire Wilding is the founder of Lead Success Deliver, a leadership consultancy specialising in identity-led leadership, decision clarity, and execution under pressure. She works with founders, executives, and senior leaders operating in complex, high-stakes environments. Claire is known for her calm, direct approach and her ability to cut through noise to the root of performance challenges. Her work focuses on strengthening leadership identity so decisions become clearer, execution sharper, and results sustainable.

Written by Emma Abalogun, Self-Leadership Coach | Speaker Emma Abalogun is a Self-Leadership Coach, Speaker and creator of the RAM-R™ Method, empowering women to rise out of survival and into sovereignty through emotional responsibility and embodied leadership. Leadership is often discussed as a function of skills such as communication, decision-making, strategy, and influence. Yet in my years working with high-performing leaders and executive teams, I’ve seen the same pattern repeat itself across industries, cultures, and seniority levels. Most leadership failures are not skill failures. They are emotional authority failures. What looks like poor leadership is often subtler and far more human, leaders unconsciously managing their own insecurity rather than leading people, systems, and outcomes. Leadership has a hidden job description Every leadership role comes with two parallel responsibilities. The visible responsibilities are clear, set direction, make decisions, drive performance, and manage and develop people. The invisible duty is rarely acknowledged, regulate internal emotions under pressure without letting them leak into the system. When this second responsibility is unmet, leaders don’t stop leading altogether. They lead from insecurity instead. That insecurity can manifest in familiar ways: Micromanagement disguised as high standards Avoidance framed as empathy or patience Over-control masked as responsibility Excessive consensus-seeking is sold as collaboration Niceness replacing honesty None of this comes from malice. Leaders do their best with the emotional capacity they have. But intent doesn’t cancel impact. When insecurity becomes the operating system Insecure leadership doesn’t always look dramatic. In fact, it’s often most damaging when it looks reasonable. A leader delays decisions because they don’t want to upset anyone. Another over-explains to justify authority rather than stand in it. Another avoids accountability conversations because they equate conflict with failure. Another keeps control tight because trust feels too risky. Over time, teams adapt, not to the mission, but to the leader’s emotional comfort zone. Innovation slows, accountability weakens, and candor disappears. Not because people don’t care, but because they begin to manage around the leaders emotional capacity. This is how leaders quietly become their organization’s emotional bottleneck. Why performance culture makes this worse Modern performance culture doesn’t help. Many leaders are promoted for competence, execution, or technical excellence, capable of doing the job, but not necessarily promoted for their emotional maturity or the ability to inspire others. Insecurity doesn’t disappear, it simply goes underground. Rather than being processed, it’s regulated through behavior such as: Control instead of clarity Busyness instead of presence Strategy instead of self-reflection This is why traditional leadership training often fails. It adds tools without addressing the internal instability they create. Emotional intelligence can help leaders name their feelings. But emotional intelligence isn't enough as naming isn’t the same as owning. A leader can be highly self-aware and still lack emotional authority. They know what they feel, but they don’t know how to lead from a place that isn’t dictated by those feelings. Emotional authority is the capacity to: Experience pressure without projecting it Receive feedback without defensiveness. Hold power without overcompensating. Make decisions without outsourcing validation. Emotional authority isn’t a personality trait. It’s internal self-leadership. Without it, no EQ, communication training, or values statements will stabilize the system. What real leadership actually requires Leadership isn’t the absence of insecurity, it’s the ability to not lead from it. The most successful leaders aren’t always the most confident-looking, but the most internally regulated. They don’t confuse authority with control. They don’t confuse empathy with avoidance, and they certainly don’t confuse professionalism with emotional suppression. Why? Because they have done the internal work to distinguish between what belongs to them, what belongs to the role, and what belongs to the system. That distinction changes everything. The cost of insecure leadership that organizations pay for can look like slow execution, high emotional labor among teams, passive resistance, burnout masked as engagement, and leaders who are respected but not trusted. Most of these costs never appear on a balance sheet. But they show up in culture, retention, and momentum, and eventually in results. When leaders are given the opportunity to develop emotional authority, something fundamental shifts: Decisions get cleaner Conversations get braver Trust increases without performance dropping. Accountability becomes possible without fear. Not because the leader became nicer or tougher, but because they became self-led. You can’t lead anyone effectively if you can’t lead yourself first. Organizations quietly crave this leadership evolution, whether they have the language for it or not. Most don’t have a leadership development problem, they have an emotional authority gap. No strategy compensates for leaders who haven’t learned to lead themselves under pressure. If you’re a leader or organization ready to move beyond surface-level leadership training and build real emotional authority, the kind that transforms culture, decision-making, and trust, this is exactly the work I do. I work with leaders and teams through immersive workshops and speaking experiences designed to strengthen emotional self-leadership where it actually counts, under pressure. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more at Emma Abalogun Emma Abalogun, Self-Leadership Coach | Speaker Emma Abalogun is a Self-Leadership Coach, Speaker, and creator of the RAM-R™ Method–a four-step framework designed to help women break free from survival patterns, projection cycles, and self-abandonment. Her work empowers individuals to lead with radical self-worth, emotional responsibility, and authentic power. Drawing from years of coaching experience and a deep understanding of identity, leadership, and legacy, Emma helps women reclaim their inner authority and become the kind of leader their life and work requires.