Written by Karol J Krupa, Breath and Transformation Coach Karol Krupa is a certified Breathwork Therapist and Functional Health Coach specialising in nervous system regulation, stress resilience, and peak performance for athletes, leaders, and everyday individuals. Your adult body still carries the story of your childhood nervous system. Modern neuroscience now confirms what many of us have felt for years, the way you breathed, felt, and reacted as a child becomes the blueprint that shapes your adult stress responses, emotional resilience, and even your ability to rest. We now know from the work of pioneers like Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory), Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), and Dr. Bruce Perry (What Happened to You?) that early experiences literally shape the architecture of the nervous system. This means: Your breathing patterns are not just habits, they are survival strategies your body learned decades ago. Your reactions to stress are not failures, they are protective reflexes wired in childhood. Most people think healing requires disappearing into the mountains for three months or spending $10,000 on a retreat. But a profound nervous system reset is possible right where you are, using the most accessible and powerful tool you already carry, your breath. Below are five essential steps to rewire your nervous system, rebuild inner safety, and awaken the version of you waiting beneath the layers of stress and old conditioning. 1. Understand your nervous system’s origin story Your childhood shaped your adult physiology Research in developmental neurobiology shows that the nervous system develops in response to your early environment. When a child experiences chaos, unpredictability, high stress, or emotional neglect, their primal survival systems become dominant. This leads to lifelong patterns such as: breath-holding shallow breathing tight diaphragm chronic hypervigilance shutting down under pressure difficulty relaxing or sleeping These are not psychological weaknesses. They are neurobiological imprints. Know which state you live in According to Polyvagal Theory, your body cycles through: Fight (tension, frustration, irritability) Flight (anxiety, rushing, overworking) Freeze (numbness, collapse, disconnection) Fawn (over-pleasing, self-abandoning) Rest & Repair (safety, clarity, connection) Your breath is the fastest way to read your state. Short, upper-chest breathing? Survival mode.Slow, nasal, grounded breathing? Safety mode. Awareness is the beginning of change. 2. Learn how breath shapes your biology Science is clear. Your breathing directly influences your brain, hormones, and stress response. The CO₂–O₂ balance Most people believe stress is about “not getting enough oxygen.” But research shows the opposite: Chronic stress causes low CO₂ levels, which restrict oxygen delivery to cells through the Bohr Effect (a physiological law discovered by Christian Bohr in 1904). Translation: If you breathe too fast, you get less oxygen where it matters. Nasal breathing creates nitric oxide Nasal breathing boosts nitric oxide (NO) production by up to 15–20 times. NO : relaxes blood vessels improves circulation enhances oxygen uptake has antiviral and antibacterial effects improves cognitive performance Research from Karolinska Institute and other medical centers confirms that nasal NO plays a major role in cardiovascular and neurological health. Dysfunctional breathing is epidemic Studies estimate that 20-30% of adults breathe dysfunctionally, often without knowing it. This includes: mouth breathing upper-chest breathing breath-holding under stress (apnea) chronic overbreathing (hyperventilation syndrome) Breathing is not a small habit. It is the remote control for your nervous system. 3. Use breathwork to rewire your nervous system Breathwork is not “woo. ”It is neuroscience combined with physiology. Slow exhales activate the vagus nerve Long exhalations stimulate the vagus nerve, the main nerve of the parasympathetic (rest) system. Research shows slow breathing: lowers cortisol reduces heart rate improves HRV (heart rate variability) calms the amygdala (fear center) This is why breathwork feels like “coming home.” Methods like Oxygen Advantage, Buteyko, and Dan Brulé techniques work because they all target the same mechanisms: CO₂ tolerance respiratory efficiency nervous system regulation improving diaphragm function switching the brain from survival to safety Your body cannot heal in survival mode. Breathwork teaches it how to return to safety, again and again, until it becomes the new normal. 4. Step into transformational experiences 9D Breathwork: A full-system reset Unlike traditional breathwork alone, 9D Breathwork combines multiple proven modalities, including: somatic release hypnotic suggestion guided emotional processing frequency therapy binaural beats breath cycles music-driven nervous system entrainment subconscious reprogramming From a scientific perspective, this creates: enhanced neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to reorganize itself) limbic system downregulation (reduced emotional overwhelm) vagus nerve stimulation (deep calm) prefrontal cortex activation (clarity, focus, presence) People often describe it as, “10 years of emotional stress melting out in one session.” The power of somatic release Trauma isn’t stored in the mind, it's stored in the body. Peter Levine’s research shows the body holds incomplete survival responses. Breathwork helps release the stuck physiology, not just the story. 5. Build a daily nervous system ritual You don’t need hours a day. You need consistency. A few minutes a day can change your whole system Studies in controlled breathing show that just: 5 minutes of slow breathing twice a day It can significantly reduce anxiety, improve HRV, and enhance sleep quality in as little as 4-6 weeks. Breath-based rituals create: emotional stability improved decision-making deeper sleep stronger resilience better relationships reduced reactivity Become your own healer Your nervous system is not broken. It is adapted, and it can be rewired. Breathwork doesn’t add something new. It reminds your body how to function the way it was always meant to. Ready to reset your nervous system, without escaping your life? If you’re ready to experience a powerful nervous system transformation, start with a 9D Breathwork session or reach out directly. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Karol J Krupa Karol J Krupa, Breath and Transformation Coach Karol Krupa is a certified Breathwork Therapist and Functional Health Coach specialising in stress resilience, nervous system optimisation, and human performance. Combining Oxygen Advantage, 9D Breathwork, and modern somatic science, he supports individuals, teams, and athletes in building emotional stability, mental clarity, and peak physical function. Karol delivers workshops, corporate programs, and transformational experiences across the UK and Europe, helping people unlock their full capacity through evidence-based breathing strategies. His mission is simple, to teach people how to breathe, recover, and live with stronger foundations. Scientific evidence & references: Zaccaro et al., 2018 – Slow breathing improves HRV & reduces anxiety. Balban et al., 2023 – 5-minute cyclic breathing improves mood more than meditation. Fisher et al., 2023 – Breathwork activates vagal tone, improving mood. Chen et al., 2021 – Meta-analysis shows significant anxiety reduction. Lata et al., 2022 – Yoga/pranayama reduces anxiety & depression. Kumar et al., 2017 – Nadi Shodhana reduces anxiety in one session. Sur & Sinha, 2017 – ANB improves autonomic balance. Thambyrajah et al., 2023 – Meditators have higher serotonin & melatonin. Hsu et al., 2020 – Deep breathing activates serotonergic pathways. Chen et al., 2021 – Slow breathing increases prefrontal regulation. Perciavalle et al., 2017 – Deep breathing reduces cortisol & emotional reactivity. Seppälä et al., 2014 – Breathwork reduces PTSD symptoms. Porges – Vagal activation supports trauma integration. Arden et al., 2021 – Breathwork reduces rumination & improves mood. Zaccaro et al., 2018 – Slow breathing increases alpha brainwaves. Streeter et al., 2012 – Breathwork increases GABA. Tang et al., 2015 – Breathwork strengthens joy-related brain areas. Kok et al., 2013 – Higher vagal tone increases positive emotions.

Zsuzsánna Boni is a coach, psychologist, and adult learning specialist helping individuals and couples transform the way they live, love, and connect. Having turned her own challenges and setbacks into growth and purpose, she brings depth and authenticity to her work. Blending a science-based perspective with consciousness and a can-do attitude, she guides people to turn awareness into action and growth into lasting change. Her mission is to empower others to own their confidence, cultivate healthy relationships, and shape a life aligned with their values. She believes that transformation begins with self-leadership, to build the life you love and love the life you build. Zsuzsánna Boni, Life & Relationship Coach Who is Zsuzsánna Boni? Introduce yourself, your hobbies, your favorites, you at home and in business. Tell us something interesting about yourself. I’m a real growth-mindset enthusiast, but a realist one. I believe that we are all born with tremendous potential, yet we live in a world with real limitations. That said, I truly believe that if you set your mind to something, work hard, stay consistent, have a solid plan, and equip yourself with the right tools and supporting social system, you can achieve it.  When I am not working, I’m a scout leader, a debate judge, a humble dog owner, and a relentless wanderer. Each teaches me what I bring to coaching. Scouts show me that transformation happens in the community. Debate teaches the best form of empathy – the ability to see other perspectives as valid. My dog forces me to make time for my mental health and shows me how genuine support doesn’t always need words. Travel teaches me skills and insights I never knew I needed. Reading and watching great stories with rich character development unwind me – they are filled with wisdom we can apply to our own lives. In my business, I’m an enabler, not a fixer. My clients deserve all the credit for their transformation. My guiding principle is simple, build the life you love, love the life you build. I practice what I preach, which also includes stumbling, getting overwhelmed, and failing sometimes. I don’t preach from a pedestal, I’m in the trenches with my clients doing the same work.  You describe yourself as helping people reconnect with their inner truth and potential – what first sparked your passion for this kind of transformation work? Was there a personal turning point? Absolutely. And I am extremely thankful that I had my own ups and downs, you can’t be an authentic mental health professional without your own personal development journey. My turning point came when I realized I was living through a filtered version of reality. I didn't know what I wanted from life. I doubted myself, suffered from anxiety, and carried my childhood traumas like they were facts. I had difficult relationships, painful experiences, just like we all do. But the breakthrough came when I stopped seeing the world through my mind's distortions and started seeing what was actually true, about myself, my circumstances, and my potential. Our minds are wired by upbringing, society, expectations, and inherited patterns. We all see a filtered version of reality, not the real thing. The work is recognizing those filters and consciously choosing, every single day, to see through them. It's not easy. We fail. We get angry when the truth challenges what we've believed our whole lives. But here's the biggest truth, it's not our fault. This happens to everyone. Some of us just choose to do the work. What sparked my passion wasn't just my own journey, though. I had a great coach who showed me what this transformation could look like. I had people who believed in me. I still need my support system every day. You cannot succeed, cannot be mentally healthy, cannot unlock your potential without valuable people who help you see what you've forgotten. That's what I want to offer my clients, that same mirror, that same belief, that same support. You have a background in psychology, ontological coaching, and adult education. How do these three disciplines inform each other in your work, and what made you choose this particular blend? I believe that these areas are not separate disciplines, they are border areas with psychology running through all of them, making each other stronger. I'm a better psychologist because I apply the practical perspective of ontological coaching. I'm a better coach because I understand how adults learn and how the mind works. And I'm better at adult education because I coach people toward transformation, not just deliver information. Psychology taught me how the mind and body work together and how to understand behavior deeply. Ontological coaching taught me to translate that into real-world action. Adult education showed me how to design experiences that actually stick. Not all of this was chosen, honestly. I chose psychology and coaching intentionally, but adult education fell into my lap. I accepted a challenge I never thought I'd be interested in, and I ended up loving it. That's when I realized these three don't function without each other. They're inseparable, and that's what makes my approach unique. Conscious self-leadership is central to your mission. Can you break down what that actually means in practical terms? How does someone move from being reactive to being a conscious self-leader? As I mentioned earlier, we usually only see a small, filtered portion of reality. Conscious self-leadership means recognizing this and learning to broaden and unfilter it. Most of the time, we react automatically, input comes in, our brain analyzes it subconsciously, and we respond instantly. Conscious self-leadership adds one crucial step in between. When something happens, instead of reacting immediately, you pause and ask, "Am I leading my life, or is my life leading me?" Am I the master of my thoughts, or are they the master of me? Is this really the truth, or am I just acting as if it would be? That pause changes everything. You start to question whether what you're seeing is actually true or just your mind's interpretation. Then you respond, but this time, it's a choice, not a reflex. You speak about "alignment" rather than just "mindset." How do you define alignment, and why is it so crucial in personal growth? You can't force a pre-packaged mindset into your life and expect it to work. It's like those shape-sorting games for kids, you have circles, rectangles, stars. You can't force a rectangle through a star-shaped hole. Taking someone else's perfectly written mindset and trying to make it yours creates frustration, not growth. Alignment is different. It means taking tools, strategies, and concepts from different mindsets and personalizing them to fit your actual life. Some alignments are tiny, you barely notice them. Some are massive, the final version looks nothing like the original. That doesn't matter. What matters is that it feels true to you, authentic to you, like your strategy, not someone else's. If you're just copying what worked for someone else, you won't feel like yourself. You'll feel like an actor in someone else's play. The work is making it yours and finding the version that aligns with who you are and how you actually live. There's no right way or wrong way. There's just the way that works for you. Take cognitive biases, for example. We use them almost every day, yet we rarely recognize them. Or think about how many times you've assumed you know what your partner, friend, or family member was thinking. Or assumed they knew what you were thinking. These are just two random examples. This isn't overthinking. This is taking a step back to see the bigger picture. You won't lead every moment consciously, that's impossible. You'll still act from your reflexes. But if you can consciously examine some of your patterns, see them from a broader perspective, you stop being purely reactive. You become the author of your own life. What are the most common emotional or mental blocks you see in your clients, and how do you help them move beyond them? The biggest block is facing the reality that you've been living in might not be true. It's hard to accept. Sometimes it's frightening. You start asking yourself – How could I be so blind? What's wrong with me? These questions feel legitimate because you're scared. But here's the truth, nothing's wrong with you. Most people don't see clearly. You took the first step. You're already winning. What matters now is what you do with this clarity. I help clients move beyond this by asking, okay, now that you see this, what do we do with it? For people who push back, I'm direct. If you stay married to your old thoughts, you'll leave here the same way you came. Is that worth your time and money? Usually, that's when they decide they're ready to change. The second big block with couples is that one person comes thinking the problem is their partner, not the relationship. They're here to help me fix the other person. But relationship problems never come from just one person. I help couples reframe it, it's not me versus my partner or my partner versus me. It's us versus the problem. One person might do more work, but the other supports. Together, you figure it out. That shift, from blame to true partnership, changes everything. How do you blend intuition and strategy in your coaching sessions? I believe that if you learn enough and practice enough, your strategy becomes intuition. I'm not saying everything comes as a reflex, I still do research, creative thinking, upskillings. But a lot of my main strategies and solutions are already part of my intuition. When I get a feeling that there's more behind what someone is saying, or I sense what could help them see the truth, that's my intuition speaking. But it's speaking because I've learned these patterns, seen them repeatedly, and my mind recognizes them without having to think hard about it. Strategy becomes intuition becomes wisdom. You mention that your coaching brings "conversation into action." Can you walk us through what that actually looks like in a session? There isn't a lot of talking and venting in my sessions. If you've come to me, you've probably already ruminated enough on your problem. So why spend more time talking about it? Let's start doing something. Even in the first session, we come up with ideas you can implement. We start simple. What do you have too much of? What do you have too little of? Sometimes, just seeing that balance already fixes the problem. It gets you out of your hamster wheel, that exhausting loop where you keep running but don't know how to escape. I'm not coming up with all the fixes. You are. I'm just helping you adapt them and make sure they work for your life. That's conversation into action, not talking about the problem, but acting toward resolution. You'll feel that you're doing something, taking steps forward. And if you keep taking steps forward, you'll end up where you want to be. You work with both individuals and couples. How does your approach differ between the two? And what do you find most rewarding about couples coaching specifically? With individuals, I work with their ontology, their way of thinking, behaving, their life philosophy, and how the world fits into that. We broaden those borders so the world fits more efficiently. With couples, I do the same thing, but I'm not just working with two individual ontologies. I'm working with the ontology of the relationship itself, the we. What life philosophy does this relationship have? What patterns, reflexes, and ways of functioning does it have? How can we make that bigger, broader, healthier, and more efficient? The difference is that to build a personality for the couple, we first have to see how the two individual ontologies can work together, how we can take parts of each and create new parts to build the life of the relationship. What's most rewarding about couples coaching is seeing two people who never thought they could function together healthily actually do it beautifully. And it doesn't just help the relationship. It helps the individuals within the relationship, too. I see so many unhealthy relationships, so it's deeply rewarding when I can help make one better. I'm not saying "fix", sometimes the right decision is to end the relationship, and I help navigate that closure too. But when two people really want to be together and are willing to do the work? That's when beautiful things happen. Can you share one of your most powerful client transformations and what made it so special? No. And not because I don't want to share my clients' success, but because I couldn't say which one was the most powerful. Each transformation is powerful in its own way, and each is special in its own way. Some seem more dramatic to me, bigger, flashier. I find those more interesting on a personal level. But that's just my filtered reality. It's not the truth. Here's what matters, every transformation feels powerful and special to the person living it. A small step for me might have required immense power, skill, and hard work for my client. A transformation that seems very demanding and huge to me might have come easily to them. What I feel about their progress doesn't determine how powerful it actually was. Only they do. So no, I can't rank them. Every single one is equally powerful because every single one changed someone's life. In your view, what role does self-awareness play in achieving sustainable success and fulfilment? Without self-awareness, the success and fulfillment you get are fake, filtered, and temporary. You're not acting on a plan. You're not consciously acting. You're just doing steps that feel important on a superficial level, either to you or to someone else. And you probably won't be happy with that in the long run.  Some problems can be solved with superficial fixes, and there is no need for us to overcomplicate them. But the important ones, the ones that actually matter, require self-awareness. They need you to think through your actions, to know why you're doing what you're doing, to put conscious thought into every step. That's how it becomes sustainable. If I just gave you a solution without building your self-awareness, you'd see the problem disappear. But then another problem surfaces. Another difficult situation comes. Without the mindset to handle it, you're stuck again. Real success means you don't just get a fix. You get a tool you can use anytime, for any problem that comes next. That's resilience. That's sustainable fulfillment. What's one belief or lesson that completely changed the way you approach your own life and business? Life is a big game. There's no competition, no winning, no losing, just playing it for the sake of having fun while you're here. That means there's no reason to take it so seriously. There's no right or wrong, no normal. Everyone is just trying their best, playing the game that needs to be played. So why not have fun with it? You either learn to play in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and life, or you take it too seriously and get buried in it. At the end of the road, what matters is that you had a good time. The other big one, your past and traumas don't define you, but they shape you. Instead of ruminating or fighting them, incorporate them. Your experiences are likely similar to those of others, the difference lies in how you react. Since they're going to shape you anyway, why not guide that shaping? Why not make it shape you in the way you want? What's next for you and your mission – any upcoming projects, programs, or goals you're excited about? I'm excited to raise awareness about preventive mental health, especially here in Transylvania, but also globally. People often wait until there's a crisis to seek help, but mental health should be nurtured before things fall apart. That's a healthier approach. I'm also genuinely excited to work with new people. Every client teaches me something. The more people I work with, the more I learn, the more I see, and the better I become. That's what drives me, continuous growth through connection. And I want to share my perspective with the world. I might not be unique, but I have something to offer, and I want to use my voice to help people see that mental health isn't just for crises, it's for living well. Ready to build the life you love? If this resonates with you, I'd love to work together. Begin with a complimentary 30-minute discovery call to explore how my coaching can help you transition from awareness to action. Or visit my website to learn more about my individual and couples coaching programs. The first step is always the hardest, but you've already taken it by reading this far. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Zsuzsánna Boni

Written by Dr. Sandra Wilson, Business Coach, Mentor, and Consultant Sandra is renowned for her insightful approach to coaching leaders and leadership teams. With years of experience as an organisational psychologist and master coach, she brings breadth and depth to her work. She combines robust psychological theory with a practical approach to individual and team development. In today’s rapidly evolving business landscape, which is marked by digital transformation, global interdependence, and heightened workforce expectations, leadership effectiveness is no longer determined solely by strategic expertise or operational excellence. Increasingly, the organisations that outperform their competitors are those led by individuals who understand and intentionally shape the relational field, the dynamic web of interactions, emotional cues, unspoken expectations, and collective energy that emerges whenever people work together. Far from a soft-skill concept, the relational field is a critical business variable. It influences the quality and agility of decision-making, team performance, cultural cohesion, and an organisation’s psychological health. When leaders learn to recognise and influence this field, they are better equipped to foster environments that support trust, innovation, and resilience, the capabilities that directly impact the bottom line. What is the relational field? The relational field encompasses the implicit environment created through people’s interactions. It includes emotional tone, psychological safety, levels of attunement, communication patterns, historical context, and the social dynamics that shape how information is interpreted. This field is not abstract. Neuroscience and organisational psychology consistently demonstrate that people co-regulate, co-create meaning, and unconsciously respond to the emotional atmosphere around them. The relational field is therefore a strategic leadership consideration, one that directly shapes organisational culture and business outcomes. How the relational field shapes culture Culture is often described as “how things are done around here,” but more accurately, it is “how people feel whilst they do what they do.” The relational field forms the immediate conditions in which culture is produced, reinforced, or eroded. A healthy relational field fosters High trust and transparency Psychological safety Cross-functional collaboration A healthy approach to dealing with conflict A sense of shared ownership An unhealthy relational field, by contrast, results in Information being withheld Internal politics Risk aversion Breakdown of accountability Talent disengagement and turnover In this sense, the relational field is the real-time pulse of culture. Leaders who understand it and learn to read it identify cultural risks early, often before they show up in engagement surveys or performance indicators. By shaping the relational field, leaders influence the cultural direction of the organisation in every conversation, meeting, and decision. Why leaders must pay attention to the relational field Relationships are the infrastructure of execution Behind every strategy is a network of relationships. When the relational field is strong, collaboration accelerates, alignment strengthens, and execution becomes streamlined. When it is weak, even well-designed strategies struggle to take root. The nervous system drives performance A regulated, stable relational field supports higher cognitive functioning. Employees in supportive relational environments demonstrate improved decision- making, creativity, and problem-solving. Stress-inducing environments produce the opposite effects, narrowing thinking and reducing effectiveness. Disconnection creates operational costs Unhealthy relational environments generate friction, reduce productivity, increase rework, hamper innovation, and inflate turnover costs. Many performance challenges are, in fact, relational challenges in disguise. Influence is now built on resonance, not authority Modern employees respond more to psychological presence and relational credibility than to hierarchy. Leaders who skillfully shape the relational field earn trust more effectively and foster stronger engagement. Organisations are complex adaptive systems Because organisations function as living systems, small relational shifts can have a significant impact. Leaders who understand this dynamic can proactively address emerging tensions and reinforce cultural coherence. What happens when leaders ignore the relational field Leaders who ignore what is happening in relationships often face resistance, miscommunication, silos, low morale, and cultural issues. The relational field is the earliest indicator of these issues, ignoring it is like overlooking early warning signals on a dashboard. How leaders can strengthen relational-field awareness Cultivate present-moment awareness Leaders who are fully present are better able to detect the micro-signals that shape interpersonal dynamics, those subtle shifts in tone, pace, facial expression, and engagement. Present-moment awareness is more than active listening, it is a form of cognitive and emotional attunement that allows leaders to register what is happening beneath the content of a conversation. This heightened awareness reduces misinterpretation, enhances psychological safety, and enables more accurate, timely interventions. Develop somatic intelligence The body often perceives relational shifts before the mind consciously interprets them. Leaders who cultivate somatic intelligence learn to notice internal cues, tightening, spaciousness, changes in breathing, or a rise in heart rate. These sensations provide valuable data about stress, alignment, or emerging tension in the relational field. By treating the body as an information source rather than an afterthought, leaders can respond with greater regulation, empathy, and precision. Observe the space between people Effective leaders recognise that leadership happens not only within individuals but between them. Observing the “space between” involves noticing the flow of interaction, who speaks and who hesitates, where energy rises or drops, how ideas are received, and whether the emotional climate feels open or defensive. This system’s level awareness, grounded in social neuroscience and group dynamics, allows leaders to identify patterns that shape culture, engagement, and collaboration. Practice strategic transparency Naming what is occurring in the relational field, directly and respectfully, without blame, shame or judgement, helps bring implicit dynamics into explicit awareness. Statements such as “I’m sensing some hesitation, what is your thinking right now?” create alignment and reduce cognitive load by addressing ambiguity early. Clear, open communication supports trust and shared understanding, preventing the misunderstandings that arise when assumptions go unspoken. Regulate your own nervous system Leaders play a disproportionate role in shaping the emotional baseline of a group. A leader who is dysregulated, reactive, or hurried transmits that state to others, often unconsciously. Conversely, a leader who maintains a grounded, regulated presence helps stabilise the collective nervous system, enabling clearer thinking and more constructive dialogue. Practices such as paced breathing, pausing before responding, or grounding through sensory awareness help leaders model composure and create a more coherent relational field. The future belongs to relational leaders As technology automates more operational tasks, competitive advantage will continue moving toward emotional, social, and relational intelligence, the ability to build trust, foster alignment, and create cultures where people thrive. Leaders who understand and skillfully navigate the relational field will be equipped to guide their organisations through complexity with clarity, stability, and purpose. Ultimately, leadership is not only about directing action but also about shaping the environment in which action occurs. The relational field is where culture lives, where strategy takes hold, and where performance is either amplified or constrained. Leaders who master this dimension possess a powerful capability, the ability to create conditions in which people and organisations can excel together. Visit my website  for more info! Read more from Dr. Sandra Wilson Dr. Sandra Wilson, Business Coach, Mentor, and Consultant With over 35 years of experience in organisation development, Sandra is a dedicated researcher of human behaviour both at an individual and systemic level. She defines her work as helping people get out of their own way, passionately believing in the untapped potential and limitless resources within every individual. Her mission is to support people in living richer, more fulfulling lives, both professionally and personally. Sandra works internationally as a consultant, teacher, coach, mentor and supervisor advocating for rigourouse development processes without rigid formulas.

Written by Elliot Ross Surgenor, Visionary Entrepreneur and Founder Elliot Ross Surgenor is the founder and CEO of Fly Business Aviation, with operational bases in Miami, Scottsdale, and Cabo. With a background in media, entrepreneurship, and luxury aviation, he specializes in elevating private travel through innovation and exceptional client service. December has a very particular sound in private aviation. It’s the sound of hangar doors opening before sunrise. Of crews checking weather patterns across three time zones. Of families landing just in time to make it to Christmas dinner in Aspen, Los Cabos, or Courchevel. From the cockpit to the catering, the holiday season compresses everything we do into a few intense weeks where reliability, flexibility, and real human connection matter more than ever. As someone who has spent the last decade building a private aviation company that operates across multiple countries and cultures, I’ve come to see the festive season not just as a busy period, but as a clear lens into where our industry is headed. In this article, I want to share what Christmas and New Year’s travel reveals about the future of private aviation, and how leaders in this space need to think if we want to stay relevant in 2026 and beyond. 1. Holiday demand proves one simple truth: Time is the real luxury Every December, business aviation data tells the same story, flight activity spikes. In recent years, analysts have repeatedly reported that the last two weeks of December are among the busiest of the year for private jets, especially on routes to winter and sun destinations in North America and Europe. Behind those numbers, there’s a very simple truth, what our clients are really buying is time.   At Christmas, time becomes non-negotiable. The CEO, who is usually relaxed about delays, will not accept arriving late to open presents with his kids. The family flying from New York to Mexico or from London to the Alps doesn’t just want a comfortable cabin, they want to control the schedule. For leaders in private aviation, that means our product is not an aircraft. Our product is time, delivered through: Multiple bases and strategic locations. Smart crew and aircraft positioning. Data-driven scheduling that anticipates peaks and constraints. When we plan Christmas and New Year’s operations, we are not just “selling flights”, we are engineering hours of life that our clients will never get back. That mindset changes everything. 2. The rise of “emotional logistics”: Why experience design matters Something interesting has happened over the last five years, our clients have become much more intentional about how they travel, not just where. During the holidays, private jet trips often have a strong emotional component:   A surprise Christmas trip for a spouse or children. A multi-generational family reunion in a ski chalet. A New Year’s escape to the beach after a difficult year.   This is where what I call “emotional logistics” comes in. Yes, we still coordinate flight plans, permits, and slots, but we also coordinate: The right playlist when they board with their children. Holiday-themed menus with our catering partners, from traditional turkey to healthy, gluten-free, or vegan options. Subtle winter or festive touches in the cabin, scents, textures, and lighting that calm people down the moment they step on board. Globally, surveys show that today’s luxury travelers prioritize experiences and personalization over material status symbols. Private aviation is no exception. The operators who will lead the next decade will be those who understand that operational excellence and emotional intelligence have to coexist in the same flight plan. 3. Sustainability and reality: Having the conversation honestly The holiday season is also when many of us in aviation feel the weight of another conversation: sustainability. Business aviation represents a small fraction of total aviation emissions globally, but that does not mean the concern is irrelevant. Clients, especially younger entrepreneurs and next-generation inheritors, are asking harder questions: What are we doing about our footprint? Are there credible offset or SAF (sustainable aviation fuel) options? Is private flying always the right answer for every trip? As leaders, I believe we have a responsibility to answer honestly: Acknowledge the impact. Pretending private jets have no environmental cost is not leadership. Show what is already possible from more efficient aircraft types to route optimization, weight reduction, and the gradual adoption of SAF where available. Offer informed choices. Some of our clients choose to consolidate trips, share legs, or use “empty legs” strategically to reduce waste. The festive season is a great moment to introduce these conversations because people are naturally reflecting on values, legacy, and the kind of world they want their children to inherit. 4. Data, AI, and the invisible work behind a “perfect” Christmas flight From the outside, a holiday flight looks simple, guests arrive, bags are loaded, champagne is poured, and the aircraft departs on time. Behind that departure, there are hundreds of invisible decisions driven increasingly by data and technology: Historical patterns tell us which days, times, and routes will be critical bottlenecks. Dynamic pricing models allow us to position aircraft intelligently and make better use of empty legs. AI-assisted tools can help us predict the best routing, anticipate weather disruptions, and even support our charter sales teams with faster, more accurate quotes. Industry analyses show that business jet traffic has become more geographically diverse and operationally complex since 2020. To keep up, operators can no longer rely on manual processes and “experience in someone’s head” alone. At Fly Business Aviation Group, we are investing heavily in what I call an “operational brain”, the combination of human expertise with digital tools that help us simulate scenarios, optimize aircraft use, and respond in real time. The goal is not to replace humans, but to free them. When my team spends less time chasing spreadsheets, they spend more time doing what really matters, understanding our clients and making smart judgment calls in dynamic situations. 5. Human relationships still decide everything For all the emphasis on aircraft, data, and systems, the holiday season always brings me back to the same conclusion, this is still a human business. No AI can replace: The pilot who chooses a slightly different approach because he knows a nervous flyer is on board. The charter broker who calls the client personally when a snowstorm threatens to disrupt plans, offering alternatives before the client even asks. The flight attendant who remembers that a passenger is allergic to nuts and quietly adjusts the catering without making them feel difficult. Interestingly, trust has become one of the most valuable currencies in private aviation. During peak holiday periods, clients are not just asking, “Can you fly me there?” They are asking, “Can I trust you with my family, my time, and my peace of mind?” In my view, the companies that will stand out in 2026 and beyond will be those that cultivate long-term relationships, not transactional bookings. That means investing in teams, training, culture and communication not just in aircraft. 6. Looking ahead: My predictions for holiday travel in the next 5 years Based on what we’re seeing across multiple markets, here are a few things I believe will define Christmas and New Year’s private aviation in the near future: Greater demand for secondary airports and bases. To avoid congestion and get closer to private villas, ski resorts, or coastal hideaways. Hyper-personalized onboard services. From wellness-oriented menus and sleep-optimized lighting to curated experiences for children and pets. Transparency as a differentiator. Clear communication about pricing, safety, and sustainability will become a competitive advantage, not a risk. Smarter empty leg use. Technology will make it easier to match last-minute leisure travelers with repositioning flights, making the system more efficient and accessible.   Every year, as I watch our aircraft depart full of families, friends, and teams heading to close their year somewhere meaningful, I am reminded that private aviation is about more than logistics and luxury. It is about stepping into deeply personal moments, proposals, reconciliations, last holidays with aging parents, first Christmas trips with newborns, and handling those moments with the seriousness they deserve. Leadership in this industry is not just measured in fleet size or revenue. It is measured in how we show up when everything is on the line, tight weather windows, full holiday schedules, emotional passengers, complex regulations, and zero room for excuses.   As we fly into a new year, my commitment is simple, to keep combining precision with empathy, innovation with integrity, and speed with safety, so that every holiday flight we operate is worthy of the trust our clients place in us. Because in private aviation, especially at Christmas, we are not just moving people from A to B. We are carrying their year, their stories, and sometimes, their entire hearts on board. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Elliot Ross Surgenor Elliot Ross Surgenor, Visionary Entrepreneur and Founder Elliot Ross Surgenor is a leading entrepreneur in private aviation and the founder of Fly Business Aviation, based in Miami, Scottsdale, and Cabo. With a background in media and international business development, he has built a company known for its innovation, personalized service, and refined operational standards. Elliot also leads Lusso Jet Design and Air Dining Cabo, subsidiaries focused on luxury jet interiors and in-flight catering. His expertise spans brand strategy, client experience, and aviation operations. He is also the host of a podcast exploring leadership and the future of the industry. Passionate about giving back, Elliot supports philanthropic efforts, including initiatives for children in need.

Written by Dhru Beeharilal, The Ikigai Coach Dr. Dhru is an entrepreneur and executive coach with 15 years of coaching and 10 years in IT consulting. An ICF Professional Certified Coach and Georgetown University faculty member, he applies his Ikigai Aperture™ framework, blending business strategy, psychology, and stoic principles, to help align profit with purpose. The setting of The Karate Kid is the humble dojo and Mr. Miyagi’s yard, not a corporate boardroom or a venture capital pitch meeting. Yet, the lessons taught there form the backbone of sustainable entrepreneurial success. Daniel LaRusso arrives with a singular, externally focused goal, win the tournament and stop the bullying. The small business owner often starts the same way, lands the big contract, hits the revenue target, or dominates a market segment. Both mistake the trophy for the purpose. Mr. Miyagi immediately disrupts this short-sighted focus. He doesn't offer a crash course in flashy kicks, he institutes a regimen of chores. This is the first, and perhaps most uncomfortable, lesson for any ambitious entrepreneur, the path to power is paved with patience and foundational discipline.   The deception of the quick win In the modern business landscape, we are constantly barraged by promises of "hacks," "shortcuts," and "get-rich-quick" schemes. This environment breeds a "Cobra Kai" mentality, strike fast, strike hard, no mercy. It prizes aggression and immediate results over durability and integrity.   The Daniel-san journey rejects this premise. When Daniel expresses frustration, shouting, "When am I gonna learn karate?" Mr. Miyagi simply responds, "You are learning. You are learning."   This is the hard truth for the small business owner, you are always learning, even when it feels like you're just doing chores.   The waxing of the car is your relentless refinement of the customer experience. It’s not about the sales transaction, it’s about the frictionless polish of the entire customer journey. The sanding of the floor is the internal work of standardizing processes, defining roles, and building a reliable infrastructure, the unglamorous systems that allow your business to scale without the owner doing all the heavy lifting. The painting of the fence is the commitment to consistency in your brand voice and quality delivery. Every stroke, like every customer interaction, must align with your core values.   These repetitive, low-glamour tasks don't immediately move the revenue needle, but they build the entrepreneurial equivalent of muscle memory. When a crisis hits (a major customer leaves, a market shifts), you don't have to pause and think about how to react, your well-sanded, well-waxed business systems kick in automatically, just as Daniel’s blocks became an automatic defense. Without this deep, self-aware practice, any success is fragile.   Balance, not brute force: The entrepreneurial stance Your insight regarding balance is critical. Daniel's initial fighting style was all fire and emotional volatility, a perfect metaphor for the entrepreneur who is perpetually overwhelmed, reactive, and nearing burnout. This approach is unsustainable. It leads to quick victories followed by catastrophic losses. Mr. Miyagi’s philosophy teaches that true strength comes from being centered. In business, being centered means achieving balance in three key areas:   Emotional balance (preventing burnout): The entrepreneur who can separate their identity from their business performance is more resilient. If every missed KPI feels like a personal failure, you lose the clarity needed to lead. Like Daniel learning to breathe and focus, the business owner must prioritize rest and self-care to avoid mental fatigue. Financial balance (cash flow over vanity): The temptation to overspend on marketing or unnecessary infrastructure for the sake of "looking big" is an aggressive, unbalanced move. Miyagi-style balance means being frugal, managing cash flow meticulously, and growing sustainably, building a foundation that can absorb economic shocks. Strategic balance (short-term action vs. long-term vision): The greatest challenge is focusing intently on the day-to-day operations (the fight) while keeping your vision fixed on the long-term objective (the purpose). A business that only focuses on the next quarter is as unstable as a fighter who only focuses on the next punch. This is where truly intentional leadership takes over.   The crane kick and the purpose-driven business The crane kick is not a magic bullet, it is the physical manifestation of all the patient, disciplined, internal work that came before it. It’s a move requiring extreme awareness, unwavering focus, and perfect balance.   In business, your crane kick is that moment of decisive clarity, the perfect product launch, the pivotal negotiation, or the inspired strategic pivot that defines your success. It only lands when it's built on a foundation of purpose.   Daniel learned that he wasn't fighting for a trophy, he was fighting for self-respect and justice. He internalized Mr. Miyagi's creed, "Karate for defense only." This shift in purpose allowed him to fight with clarity, not anger.   For small business owners struggling to find this deep alignment, specialized guidance can be invaluable. Nayan Leadership understands this crucial connection between personal values and professional outcomes, operating under the philosophy, "Be the leader you wish you had worked for." We help business owners and leaders move beyond mere tactics to align with their values and passions through our unique Ikigai Aperture Model, which combines psychology and coaching techniques. The reality in the market is clear, "People don't leave bad jobs, they leave bad leaders." By engaging in customized coaching, Nayan Leadership helps you uncover your authentic self, ensuring that the foundational work you do, the "waxing on," directly contributes to success on your own terms. We utilize industry-best assessments to define your true starting point, providing the complete picture necessary to chart an effective path forward, ensuring your growth is not just fast, but fundamentally sound and authentic.   The purpose-driven small business understands that it’s not just selling a product, it’s delivering a specific value, fulfilling a mission, and operating with integrity. When an entrepreneur knows their "why," their purpose beyond profit, their decisions become cleaner, their leadership becomes more magnetic, and their long game becomes unstoppable. Ultimately, your favorite movie serves as a profound business parable. It reminds us that there is no shortcut to mastery. The true competitive advantage is not a secret growth hack, it's the simple, unsexy discipline of showing up consistently, doing the foundational work, and maintaining balance. It teaches the timeless lesson that to lead a thriving business, you must first master yourself. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dhru Beeharilal Dhru Beeharilal, The Ikigai Coach Dr. Dhru is an entrepreneur and an executive leadership coach who helps small business owners break free from exhaustion and create purpose-driven success. With 15 years of coaching experience and a decade in IT project management and consulting, he understands the challenges of achievement without fulfillment. His search for balance and meaning led him to develop the Ikigai Aperture™ framework, a method that unites Japanese philosophies of bushido and ikigai with Western stoicism, positive psychology, and business strategy. Through this approach, he helps entrepreneurs align profit with purpose. His clients gain clarity, balance, and resilience that transform both their leadership and their businesses.

Written by Alicia Taraji, Trauma Recovery Facilitator Alicia Taraji specializes in trauma recovery through embodied practices, integrating Somatic Experiencing, Trauma-Sensitive Yoga, NeuroMeditation, breathwork, and art therapy. She is a certified yoga teacher (RYT-500, E-RYT-200, YACEP). When you live with complex trauma or chronic PTSD, you don’t just “have bad memories.” Your nervous system, your relationships, and even your sense of self are shaped by what happened. Talking about the trauma can help, but for many people, words alone are not enough. Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) is an empirically validated clinical intervention designed explicitly for complex trauma and chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD. By placing the body, not the story, at the center of healing, TCTSY helps survivors slowly restore their mind-body connection, cultivate agency, and gently reawaken brain regions affected by trauma.   What is complex trauma, and why does it affect the body? Complex trauma refers to trauma that happens repeatedly and cumulatively, usually over a period of time and within relationships or systems that are difficult or impossible to leave. This might include childhood abuse or neglect, domestic violence, exploitation, or long-term exposure to systemic and collective violence.   Over time, complex trauma can lead to:   Difficulties regulating emotions Deep feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness Problems with trust, closeness, and boundaries in relationships Symptoms of post-traumatic stress, such as intrusive memories, avoidance, and hypervigilance.   These patterns aren’t “all in your head.” When a person lives with ongoing trauma, the brain and nervous system adapt to help them survive. Certain areas become overactivated (constantly scanning for danger), whereas other regions, especially those related to speech, self-awareness, and regulation, can become deactivated or cease to function normally.   Therefore, trauma is not only a psychological story, it is also a physiological state. Healing must reach the body, not just the mind.   What is Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY)? TCTSY (Trauma Sensitive Yoga) is an empirically validated clinical intervention for people living with complex trauma or chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD. It was initially developed at the Trauma Center in Massachusetts and has since been integrated into mental health and community settings worldwide.   TCTSY is grounded in:   Research on trauma, the nervous system, and the brain The long tradition of hatha yoga, adapted for trauma recovery Therapies that emphasize context, experience, and embodiment   Clinical studies  have shown that TCTSY can significantly reduce PTSD symptoms, even in individuals who have not improved with other treatments. It is often used as a frontline or complementary intervention alongside psychotherapy.   How does TCTSY differ from a standard yoga class? At first glance, you’ll see some familiar elements, mats, simple postures, gentle movement, and awareness of breath. TCTSY includes core components of hatha yoga, in which participants engage in a series of physical postures and movements.   But almost everything about how it is offered is different from a standard yoga class:   No physical adjustments. Facilitators do not touch or move participants’ bodies, even to “help” them. Physical assists can easily recreate the dynamics of control or intrusion. No emphasis on performance or flexibility. There is no “perfect pose” and no expectation to go deeper, stronger, or farther. No pressure to relax or feel a certain way. The goal is not to force calm or positivity, but to create space for whatever is genuinely happening in your body. Focus on internal experience rather than appearance. The question is never “Am I doing this right?” but “What do I notice inside as I do this?”   Rather than attempting to influence fitness or appearance, TCTSY modifies traditional yoga elements to maximize empowerment and foster a more compassionate relationship with one’s own body.   This shift from external approval to internal experience is a key attribute of TCTSY as a complementary treatment for complex trauma. The power resides with the participant, not the facilitator.   The five core domains of TCTSY The methodology of TCTSY is based on five interwoven domains, non-coercion, invitational language, options (choice-making), interoception, and shared authentic experience. Together, they create a structured way for survivors to reconnect with their bodies on their own terms.   1. Interoception: Rebuilding the mind-body connection Interoception is the ability to sense internal bodily signals, including heartbeat, breathing, tension, warmth, shakiness, and numbness. Trauma can disrupt interoception, making it hard to notice or trust what is happening inside.   In TCTSY, participants are repeatedly invited to notice sensations while moving or resting in simple forms. There is no requirement to feel anything in particular. Instead, TCTSY offers small, manageable opportunities to sense the body in the present moment. Over time, this helps:   Restore the mind-body connection. Provide real-time information that can guide decisions (“Do I stay here? Do I need a break?”) Support a growing sense of “This is my body and I can listen to it.”   2. Invitational language: Words that give power back In many survivors’ histories, people in power have used commanding or manipulative language to control their bodies. TCTSY responds to this by employing invitational language rather than commands.   Even small grammatical choices matter. Over time, this linguistic style helps survivors experience something new in their bodies, I am not here to perform or please. I am allowed to notice what I want and choose what fits for me.   3. Options and choices: Practicing agency when survival isn’t at stake Trauma is an experience of severely constrained choice. For people who have lived in survival mode, even simple preferences can feel risky or unfamiliar. TCTSY therefore treats options and choice-making as core therapeutic work. Throughout a session, participants are offered clear, non-hierarchical options.   Options are often offered in “doses” (A-B or A-B-C) to prevent nervous system overload. No choice is labelled as “better,” “deeper,” or “more advanced.”   By focusing on bodily sensation to inform decisions (“Which version feels more workable for me right now?”), Participants begin to:   Practice agency in a context where survival is not at stake Notice what they actually want, rather than what they think they “should” do. Experience changing their minds without punishment or shame   These micro-choices on the mat can slowly translate into macro-choices in life, setting boundaries, leaving harmful situations, and making decisions that align with one’s well-being.   4. Non-coercion: No hidden agenda Non-coercion means more than being gentle, it means actively sharing power and refusing to override another person’s experience. In TCTSY, this shows up as:   No physical corrections or adjustments No pressure to participate in any particular form No promises that a specific pose will create a particular emotional state A willingness to pause, adapt, or stop based on the participant’s signals   Facilitators also work with their own internal expectations. Instead of measuring success by whether participants “do the full class” or appear calm, they focus on offering a reliable, respectful container in which participants can have whatever experience arises.   For many survivors, this is a radically different kind of relationship, one in which “no,” “not yet,” and “I don’t know” are genuinely permitted.     5. Shared authentic experience: Healing in a relationship   Finally, TCTSY recognizes that trauma often happens in relationships and so does healing. Sessions are built around a shared, authentic experience between the facilitator and the participant(s).   Typically:   The facilitator practices the same forms alongside participants, while staying attuned to their own body. They are not demonstrating perfection, but modelling being human, present, and responsive. There is no requirement that anyone feel what anyone else feels.   In this relational space, participants can:   Experiment with connection while maintaining choice and boundaries Experience a relationship that is not organized around control, coercion, or performance. Begin to trust that another person can be near their body without taking it over. This kind of authentic, embodied relationship can gently repattern old dynamics and support a new sense of safety with self and others.   How Trauma-Sensitive Yoga affects the brain One of the most compelling aspects of TCTSY is that it doesn’t just feel supportive, it also changes the brain.   When someone lives with ongoing trauma, brain areas involved in speech, regulation, and self-awareness can be underactivated or disconnected from other regions. This contributes to symptoms like:   Feeling numb or disconnected from the body Struggling to put experiences into words Being easily overwhelmed or “shut down.”   Scientific studies have demonstrated that Trauma Sensitive Yoga has measurable effects on these trauma-impacted areas. Over 10, 15, and 20 weeks of TCTSY practice, researchers have observed reactivation in brain regions that had previously been underperforming.   In other words, TCTSY does not just help people feel safer and more present in the moment, it also supports the brain in building new, healthier patterns of connection over time.   This combination of subjective relief (feeling more grounded, less reactive, more in charge) and objective change (shifts in brain function) is part of why TCTSY is considered an empirically validated intervention for complex trauma and chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD.   Who can benefit from TCTSY? TCTSY can be supportive for a wide range of people, including those who:   Have chronic PTSD that has not responded fully to other treatments. Find verbal trauma processing overwhelming, numbing, or inaccessible. Feel disconnected from or distrustful of their bodies. Are triggered or distressed in conventional yoga or exercise spaces. Want a body-first, evidence-based approach to complement ongoing therapy.   Sessions can be offered one-to-one, in small groups, or in community and clinical settings such as hospitals, shelters, prisons, and mental health programs. Start your body-first healing journey If you live with the effects of complex trauma, it makes sense if your body feels like unfamiliar or unsafe territory. You may have done years of talk therapy, or you may have avoided it because the idea of telling your story feels unbearable. Either way, you deserve options that honor both your nervous system and your lived experience.   Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga offers one such option, a structured, research-supported way to explore your body at your own pace, without pressure to perform, fix, or prove anything. One breath, one movement, one choice at a time, you can begin to:   Restore your mind-body connection Reclaim agency over your own physical self Gently reawaken parts of your brain and nervous system that shut down to keep you safe   If this resonates, you might:   Talk with your therapist or healthcare provider about integrating TCTSY into your care Contact me as a certified TCTSY facilitator to book your session online Explore reputable resources  on complex trauma, the nervous system, and body-based healing   You do not have to rush, and you do not have to “do it right.” Your body has carried you through everything so far. With the support of Trauma-Sensitive Yoga, it can also become a powerful ally in your healing. Follow me on Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Alicia Taraji Alicia Taraji, Trauma Recovery Facilitator Alicia Taraji specializes in trauma recovery through embodied practices, recognizing that trauma lives in the body and must be addressed holistically. She integrates Yoga Sensible al Trauma, Trauma-Informed NeuroMeditation (NMI-2), breathwork to energize, balance, and relax, self-care education, and art therapy to support healing and resilience. Alicia is dedicated to understanding how traumatic experiences impact physical, emotional, and social processes, and to helping each person access their innate capacity to heal through the body. She has worked with women and non-binary people who have survived violence, offering individual sessions, group classes, and programs for women deprived of their liberty. She is, above all, a yoga teacher.

Written by Ebi Sheila Diete-Spiff, Lifestyle Strategist Ebi Sheila Diete-Spiff is a leading self-love and transition coach, speaker, and mentor. She is the founder of Ebi’s Powerhouse, where she equips women worldwide with the tools to break free from self-doubt, reclaim their worth, and step into their power with confidence. Stop right there. Before you download another planner or commit to another goal that promises external fulfilment, ask yourself one crucial question, "Am I living this life by my own design, or by someone else’s definition of success?" For too long, the capable woman has been told, implicitly or explicitly, that her value is a prize to be won through performance. This “illusion of worthiness being earned” forces you into a state of chronic performing, leaving you tired, depleted, and disconnected from your true self. You look successful on the outside, you have achieved so much, yet there is that silent, persistent struggle that tells you you are still not quite “enough.” This life, driven by conditioning, inherited stories, and the need to constantly prove yourself, is one lived by default. This New Year is not about a “New You.” It is about remembering who you already are. It is about recognising that your worth is innate and unchanging. If you are ready to trade the anxiety of performance for the certainty of self-acceptance, this 5-point manifesto is your blueprint for becoming the woman who finally lives by choice. Point 1: Stop earning your worth, decoupling identity from professional achievement For many successful women, identity and achievement are inextricably linked. We are taught from a young age that our value lies in our grades, our performance, our productivity, and our ability to “have it all.” This conditioning creates “the illusion of worthiness being earned,” a relentless cycle where we believe the next promotion, the perfectly executed project, or the flawless family dinner will finally permit us to feel truly valuable. But here is the profound truth: your worth is innate, inherent, and unchanging. It is your birthright. It existed before you ever achieved anything, and it will remain whether you succeed or fail. The cost of “performing strength” is immense. It often manifests as burnout, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and a deep, pervasive sense of being “not enough,” no matter how much you accomplish. You spend so much energy proving yourself that you have little left to actually be yourself. The identity shift: Moving past imposter syndrome This manifesto point begins with an identity shift, “I existed before achievement.” This is a radical reframe for many. It is about recognising that your fundamental human value is not a prize to be won. It is the ground you stand on. This understanding frees you to pursue goals from a place of abundance and genuine desire, rather than from a desperate need for validation. Actionable steps: Ending burnout and committing to choice Identify your “worth metrics”: Take time, perhaps in a journal, to list the top five to ten things you currently use to measure your worth. Is it your job title, your income, your appearance, your children’s successes, or your perceived level of busyness? Practice “worth breath”: Throughout your day, when you feel the pressure to perform, place a hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and silently affirm, “My worth is my birthright. I am worthy simply because I am.” Celebrate the “being”: Intentionally schedule moments in your week where you are simply being, not doing. This could be mindful walking, quiet reading, or simply staring out the window. Disconnect from productivity and reconnect with presence. Point 2: Identify and rewrite inherited scripts driving your “not enough” feeling Our default settings are not just built by our experiences. They are often inherited. Long before we consciously understood the world, we absorbed “inherited stories and silent scripts” from our families, cultures, and workplaces. These are the unspoken rules, beliefs, and expectations about how a woman “should” be, how she should achieve, how she should care for others, and what she should sacrifice. Perhaps you carry the legacy of a grandparent who believed hard work was the only measure of a person, or a parent who conveyed that self-sacrifice was the highest form of love. These scripts, often well-intentioned, become the invisible threads that weave through our lives, dictating our choices and influencing our sense of “not enough.” When “not enough” becomes a way of life, it is often because we are living out narratives that are not truly our own. We are carrying burdens that do not belong to us. Unpacking the narrative: Tracing generational beliefs This point is about conscious disentanglement. It is about recognising that while you honour your roots, you are not bound by every single belief passed down to you. You have the power to unpack the narrative and identify the generational messages you have mistaken for your own truth. You are not obligated to perpetuate a legacy of burnout or silent struggle. Actionable steps: Releasing the past to define your future Journal on origins: Engage in the reflection, “Where did I first learn that I was not enough?” Dig deeper into the sources of these messages. Was it a specific comment, a family dynamic, or a cultural expectation? Identify your “silent scripts”: What are one to three unspoken rules you live by that create pressure, for example, “I must always be strong,” “Asking for help is a weakness,” or “My needs come last”? Trace their possible origins. Practice gentle inquiry: When you feel compelled to act in a way that drains you, pause and ask, “Is this my choice, or am I following an old script?” This awareness is the first step to freedom. Point 3: Redefine success on your own terms, the inner compass over the outer trophy case If your worth is not earned through achievement, then what does success even mean? This is where we move into redefining success on your own terms. The default definition of success in our society is often external, more money, a bigger title, a larger house, a perfect Instagram feed. While these things are not inherently bad, when they become the sole metrics, they can lead to an endless chase. You reach one goal, only to immediately set another, never truly allowing yourself to feel accomplished or satisfied. Living by choice means consulting your inner compass. It means designing a life where fulfilment genuinely outweighs achievement. This involves a radical shift from asking, “What does society expect of me?” to “What genuinely brings me joy, peace, and purpose?” It requires the courage to step away from the rat race and define a meaningful metric that aligns with your authentic self . Beyond external goals: Setting New Year’s resolutions based on joy This is about moving beyond the trophy case and creating boundaries that protect your newly defined sense of success. Your definition of a successful day might shift from achieving ten tasks to having three meaningful conversations and one hour of uninterrupted creative time. Actionable steps: Creating your personal success manifesto Create your “success manifesto”: What does success truly look like and feel like to you, beyond societal expectations? Write down three to five core principles for your definition of a successful life. Identify “joy triggers”: List five activities or experiences that bring you genuine joy, energy, and a sense of purpose. How can you intentionally weave more of these into your weekly schedule? Set one “anti-goal”: What is one thing you will actively stop chasing in 2026 because it does not align with your redefined success, for example, comparing yourself to others’ career paths or striving for an unrealistic aesthetic. Point 4: The core of self-worth, establishing firm boundaries, and conquering the fear of saying “no” Once you understand your innate worth, recognise your inherited scripts, and redefine success, the next crucial step is to protect this precious internal landscape. This brings us to “boundaries, balance, and the courage to say ‘no.’” For women especially, saying “no” can feel like a direct assault on our identity as caregivers, team players, or “superwomen.” The cost of saying “yes” to everything, however, is your energy, your time, and ultimately, your well-being. Living by default means reacting to every request, email, and social obligation as if it is an urgent demand on your time and emotional resources. Living by choice means becoming the geometry of self-respect, drawing clear lines that define your space and uphold your values. It means understanding that “no is a complete sentence,” and that asserting your needs is not selfish, but foundational to leading, loving, and living boldly. Mastering self-protection: Techniques for assertive communication This is about transforming from a reactor to a deliberate responder. It is about recognising that every “yes” to something outside your redefined success is often a “no” to your true self. Guarding your energy becomes a non-negotiable act of self-love and self-preservation. Actionable steps: Using boundaries to reclaim your time Identify your energy drains: List three to five people, activities, or commitments that consistently drain your energy. Practice one small “no”: Identify one low-stakes situation this week where you can practise saying “no” or “not right now.” It could be declining a non-essential meeting, delegating a household task, or simply saying “no” to an internal urge to overcommit. Establish a “sacred hour”: Block out one hour in your week, or even 15 minutes daily, that is non-negotiable and dedicated solely to your well-being or a passion project. Protect it fiercely. Create a “boundary statement”: Develop a simple, polite phrase you can use when you need to decline a request or protect your time, for example, “That sounds interesting, but my plate is full right now,” or “I’m not available for that, but thank you for thinking of me.” Point 5: The ripple effect, living boldly and inspiring others through authentic self-acceptance This final point is not just about your personal transformation, it is about its far-reaching impact. When you truly embrace “reclaiming your worth,” you move beyond merely surviving to leading, loving, and living boldly. This is not about being loud or aggressive. It is about cultivating an unapologetic presence and embracing your full spectrum of strength, softness, and visibility. The ripple effect of a worthy woman extends far beyond yourself. When you live by choice, you become a beacon for others. You model what it means to honour oneself, to set healthy boundaries, and to pursue a life aligned with true purpose. You inspire your children, your colleagues, your friends, and your community. You contribute to changing the world from the inside out. This is your new legacy, one of self-respect that empowers future generations. The power of presence: Cultivating unshakeable confidence This is about moving from internal work to external impact, driven by authenticity. It is about understanding that your well-being is not a luxury, but a necessity, because when you are whole, you contribute more meaningfully to the world. You are not just writing your own story, you are helping to write the script for a more worthy future for all. Actionable steps: Crafting your legacy in 2026 Identify your “ripple”: Who in your life, family, friends, or colleagues, would benefit most from seeing you live more authentically and by choice? How can you consciously model this for them? Share your voice authentically: Find one low-pressure way to share your authentic self or your journey. This could be speaking up in a meeting, sharing a personal reflection with a friend, or simply being honest about your needs. Embrace your “art of audacity”: Identify one area where you typically hold back, for example, asking for what you want, taking up space, or pursuing a new dream. Make a plan to take one small, audacious step in that direction in the new year. Craft your personal “north star”: Revisit your redefined definition of success and create a simple, powerful mantra or guiding statement for 2026 that encapsulates living by choice, not default. Post it where you will see it daily. Your story, your choice, your worth As we stand on the cusp of 2026, the invitation is clear. Let this be the year you step fully into your power. Not the power that performs, but the power that is. The power of a woman who understands her inherent worth, honours her boundaries, and courageously designs a life that truly reflects her deepest values. This is not about perfection. It is about intention. It is about committing to the inner work of healing and reclaiming your worth, day by day, choice by choice. The journey of reclaiming your worth is ongoing, a continuous process of remembering who you are and living from that truth. So, as the new year begins, ask yourself: what choices will you make today, and every day, to become the woman who leads, loves, and lives boldly, authentically, and by choice? Your story is waiting to be written, not by default, but by you. And it starts now. Are you ready to reclaim your birthright? If you are tired of chasing external metrics and ready to anchor your life in the unshakeable truth of your value, the time to start is now. Take the next step in your journey. Learn the deep, foundational work of disentangling your worth from your achievements and start building a life defined by your choices. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , TikTok , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ebi Sheila Diete-Spiff Ebi Sheila Diete-Spiff, Lifestyle Strategist Ebi Sheila Diete-Spiff is a self-love and mental fitness strategist who empowers women to reclaim their worth and embrace their potential with confidence. Born in Hertfordshire, England, she transformed personal struggles with toxic relationships, divorce, chronic illness, and single motherhood into a journey of resilience and growth. A pivotal awakening in 2014 inspired her to embrace self-love, fueling her mission to guide women worldwide past self-doubt. Through her signature blueprint, The WORTHY Woman Framework, Ebi offers tools for healing and empowerment. Today, she stands as a beacon of hope, inspiring women to live boldly and authentically.

Dr. Mansi S Rai’s story is one of strength, clarity, and unwavering purpose. Rising from personal and professional turning points, she rebuilt her path with discipline and heart, merging analytical expertise with deep emotional insight. Today, she helps others find stability, direction, and confidence as they navigate life’s complex systems. Dr. Mansi S. Rai, Public Sector Finance Researcher Who is Dr. Mansi S. Rai? I’m Dr. Mansi S. Rai – a corporate tax auditor, researcher, and storyteller whose journey has been shaped by resilience, reinvention, and an evolving sense of purpose. I come from a multigenerational Indian government family, where discipline and integrity were part of everyday life, but I didn’t begin my career in public service. I started in the private sector after completing my MBA in India in 2021, following what I believed was the conventional path to success. In late 2023, I moved through a deeply personal, culturally significant relationship chapter that reshaped my direction. That experience pushed me to rebuild – emotionally, academically, and professionally. Shortly after, I completed an Honorary Doctorate in Finance in India in recognition of my contributions to financial research. In 2024, I moved to the United States to pursue my Master of Science in Accountancy at the University of Rochester. Like many international students, I rebuilt from zero, working part-time as a Starbucks barista during my studies. That experience humbled me and shaped my understanding of resilience, dignity, and independence. Today, I work as a Tax Auditor with the New York State Department of Taxation & Finance. I’ve also had the opportunity to share my academic research – particularly on digital taxation and apportionment models – with professors and mentors, including Professor Tim Hungerford, whose thoughtful feedback encouraged me to continue developing these emerging frameworks. Outside the office, I pour my energy into working out at the gym as a certified fitness trainer, traveling and hiking to stay grounded, practicing the astrology my grandmother taught me, cooking with purpose as a certified nutrition specialist, and expressing myself through creative storytelling. My world merges analytical thinking with intuition, service with spirituality, and research with creativity – a balance that fuels my growth and the way I show up in my work and life. What motivated you to pursue your current career path? My path wasn’t linear – it evolved as I evolved. After my MBA, I explored private-sector opportunities. But a major turning point in late 2023 made me rethink the kind of life I wanted to build. That period pushed me back toward academics, research, and purpose-driven work. Moving to the U.S. in 2024 deepened that shift. I experienced the realities international students face – cultural adjustment, financial pressure, academic intensity, and emotional solitude. Working as a barista while pursuing a graduate degree gave me a grounding perspective. Over time, I became drawn to meaningful, systemic work – the kind that shapes fairness, accountability, and economic clarity. That calling led me to public service, even though it wasn’t where I began. Today, I work where policy, digital transformation, and financial systems meet – and that alignment is what motivates me every day. How do you define success, and what milestones shaped your path? I define success as inner evolution combined with meaningful impact. Key milestones include: MBA in India (2021) Honorary Doctorate in Finance (India) A life-changing personal transition in late 2023 Moving to the U.S. and completing my MSA Working part-time as a Starbucks barista Joining NYS DTF as a Tax Auditor Publishing research on digital taxation Sharing my research with professors such as Professor Tim Hungerford, receiving encouraging feedback Speaking at academic and professional platforms Building educational YouTube platforms My greatest milestone has been transforming my identity – from surviving to contributing. What challenges do your clients face, and how do you guide them? Most people struggle with clarity – whether in finances, career, or personal direction. Common challenges include: financial confusion complex tax concepts navigating digital environments adjusting as immigrants or students burnout and overwhelm lack of self-belief My approach mixes structure with compassion: analytical frameworks emotional insight intuitive understanding spiritual grounding practical steps A transformative success story. An international student once came to me overwhelmed by academics, finances, and uncertainty. Through consistent mentoring, planning, emotional coaching, and support in reconnecting with her own strengths, she rebuilt her life. She later told me: “You didn’t just help my career. You helped me bring clarity.” Ironically, clarity is something I once struggled to find in my own life. But it’s often those who have walked through the fog who can light the path for someone else. Transformation is the work. Everything else is strategy. What’s the biggest misconception about your industry? That finance and taxation are cold, rigid, or inaccessible. But these systems shape opportunity, fairness, and stability. Another misconception is that government professionals are unapproachable or distant. I challenge this by: explaining complex ideas in simple language creating educational content showing the human side of financial systems connecting policy to real-life choices Finance becomes empowering when people feel seen and understood. How do you personalize your approach? I listen deeply. Every person brings their own wounds, hopes, cultural context, pressures, and potential. My guidance blends: data intuition emotional intelligence cultural awareness spiritual grounding I meet people where they are and help them rise from that point. What makes your work unique? Three things: I unite government auditing with modern academic research. My research is actively discussed with professors and mentors, including Professor Tim Hungerford. I combine logic with intuition. I bring together financial clarity, emotional grounding, and spiritual insight. My lived experience gives my voice depth. From private-sector beginnings to a personal turning point, from rebuilding as an immigrant to conducting research that gains academic attention — I speak from experience, not theory. What advice would you give someone starting out? Don’t chase titles – chase growth. Don’t chase perfection – chase consistency. And don’t chase validation – chase mastery. If you study deeply and show up consistently, opportunities will follow. How do you stay updated? By studying constantly – taxation updates, digital economy shifts, AI models, research papers, and global policy trends. Writing my own papers keeps me ahead of emerging conversations. How does your work help people long term? I help people grow in three ways: Financial clarity to stability Career alignment to confidence Personal transformation to power When these align, long-term success becomes inevitable. What’s next for you? The next chapter of my work is about thoughtful expansion. I’m continuing to develop new research in digital taxation and emerging economic models, while also building a stronger digital presence to share insights more widely. I am shaping a platform that brings together finance, clarity, and personal transformation in a way that feels accessible to people across different backgrounds. As my journey evolves, I hope to engage in more speaking opportunities, publish more research, and create meaningful spaces – both online and offline – where learning and empowerment can happen naturally. My mission remains simple: To make clarity, confidence, and resilience accessible to everyone navigating complex systems and complex times. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Mansi S. Rai

Written by Donna Kirsten Reynolds, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist Donna Reynolds empowers clients to build confidence, understanding it as the foundation for achieving personal goals. With experience working with people of all ages, her Confidence is Key approach helps foster a positive mindset, enabling individuals to move forward with clarity, self-assurance, and resilience. I tend to write about whatever shows up in life, in conversations, in passing moments, and often in sessions with my clients. Emotional intelligence is one of those ideas that’s been floating around for years, yet so many people talk about it without truly understanding what it means. I was speaking with someone recently who told me they’d been handed a test of about 150 questions to measure their emotional intelligence. They weren’t in the right frame of mind to complete it, but it had to be submitted by a certain deadline. So they rushed through it, only to be told afterwards that they had no understanding of emotional intelligence. And honestly, how can anyone decide that for you from a piece of paper, without any consideration of what was happening around you at the time? Without context, without conversation, without curiosity? Is this just another example of how quick we are to throw labels at people without actually sitting down with them, engaging with them, or taking the time to understand who they are? Instead, we hand them a piece of paper, having never met them, and from a set of multiple-choice questions we somehow decide, I know you. I know your emotional capacity. I know you have no understanding of your own emotions or anyone else’s. So here we are in 2025, and if you do a quick Google search, you’ll find a neat little definition, emotional intelligence is “the ability to recognise, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as to recognise, understand, and influence the emotions of others.” So let’s dive a little deeper into emotional intelligence. Is it something we’re born with? Is it something we’re taught? And more importantly, how is it actually affecting people in everyday life here in 2025? Because from where I’m standing, in my time of life, in the conversations I’m having, in the sessions I’m running, and in the friendships and connections I’ve built, emotional intelligence, or the lack of it, keeps showing up. Again and again. Let’s look at some of the examples that have been coming up for me at this stage of my life. I’m a single, middle-aged woman, I’m a therapist, and I spend a lot of time dealing with people, whether that’s through my mental health work, my property business, or just being a bit of a social butterfly. In other words, I’m constantly navigating emotions, mine and everyone else’s, whether I want to or not. Let’s chat about the middle-aged part for a moment. Being middle-aged and single, while also running two businesses, means I naturally attract like-minded people, other single, middle-aged women for the most part, and plenty of them are carving their own path as entrepreneurs. We talk about all sorts of things, but the topic of singleness comes up a lot. And what’s interesting is that I keep hearing the same themes over and over again. When you listen to women talk about why more of us are choosing to stay single, the reasons tend to repeat themselves. For a long time, I thought people were searching for integrity in others, but through conversations and experience, I’ve realised that what they’re actually looking for is emotional intelligence. They just don’t always know that’s the missing piece, or how to articulate it. Few people say, “I’m looking for someone emotionally intelligent.” But that is what they’re describing. Because honestly, when in our lives did we ever hear our parents talking about emotional intelligence? It wasn’t a thing. And when we were younger, falling into long-term relationships, nobody was asking, “How emotionally aware are you?” It just wasn’t part of the conversation. We were told to look for stability, a good job, someone who didn’t cheat or slap you around, but emotional intelligence? Never mentioned. It wasn’t on the checklist. So why now is it the thing so many of us are searching for, and yet the thing that seems to be missing so often? Let’s lean into some of the conversations I’ve had recently, because the themes are starting to sound very familiar, mainly frustration around other people’s behaviour. And an all-too-familiar scenario is, of course, online dating. I use online dating as an example because, in today’s society, it’s rare to meet anyone who hasn’t tried it, or who doesn’t at least know someone with experience of it. It’s become a shared cultural reference point, which is why it highlights so clearly where emotional intelligence is failing miserably in adulthood. Online dating has become so normal that many people have become completely disconnected from the idea of meeting someone in a conventional way. It doesn’t even cross their mind that they might meet someone naturally, you know, the so-called old-fashioned way. In fact, meeting someone offline is now treated almost as unusual. With the language people use, “old school,” “not the norm,” “unusual,” is it any wonder they end up feeling lost, confused, and emotionally shut down? People keep saying the same thing over and over, “I genuinely thought we were getting on well, we chatted for ages, and then he ghosted me.” Just disappeared from the conversation as if the connection never happened. I hear it all the time, “It’s a cesspit, you have to dig through so much rubbish, I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated.” And just when they think they’ve connected with someone they might actually like to get to know, that person vanishes and has already moved on to the next match. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, up, down, hope, disappointment, repeat. Another sentence I hear repeatedly is: “Online dating is all about sex now, it’s shocking what goes on.” After a while, the constant micro-rejections take their toll. People become drained, disheartened, and even depressed. And of course, behaviours like this would affect anyone who is genuinely just looking to meet someone decent. So imagine, just for a moment, how someone lovely, kind, and actually emotionally intelligent is supposed to fare in an environment like this. They’re walking into a digital arena that rewards quick thrills, not meaningful connection. They’re bringing depth to a space that was built to scroll past it. Do we think that if more people online were emotionally intelligent, it might actually change the whole experience altogether? Imagine if all of us became aware of what it actually is, and if we started to engage in being emotionally intelligent. Imagine the changes this might have on the world as a whole. Now, I said the world, which may sound far-reaching or overzealous, but imagine if everyone in the world became emotionally intelligent. Imagine the problems this could solve. Should we all start to look at ourselves and look to become more emotionally intelligent? As with almost everything that is psychology-based, there is another layer. Let’s take a look at that. If we’re seeing such widespread struggles in adults, it begs the question, what’s happening with our children? How is their emotional intelligence developing in a world that looks very different from the one many of us grew up in? How the next generation is learning to recognise, understand, and manage emotions, and whether the society they’re growing up in is helping or hindering that process. Children, bless them. It’s such a confusing time to be growing up. They are constantly bombarded by outside influences, social media, computer games, television. The list goes on. And every platform has something to say about who they should be, how they should behave, and all the ways they’re supposedly falling short. The messages are loud, conflicting, and overwhelming. I recently spoke about the structure of many schools today. Children are being trained to sit up straight, look forward, do what the teacher says, don’t speak unless spoken to, stand in line, and follow every instruction to the letter. But how on earth is this helping them develop emotional intelligence? They’re becoming little robots in the making. Then we send them out into the world, into workplaces, relationships, and society, and suddenly expect them to think for themselves, communicate well, manage their feelings, solve problems, and show confidence. And when they struggle, people treat them as if they’re doing something wrong. How can we expect children to develop emotional intelligence when we’ve been teaching them to conform at every opportunity? When do they learn to understand their emotions? When do they learn to express themselves? Where do they gain the confidence to make decisions, navigate conflict, or communicate assertively? If we keep raising children to follow instructions rather than understand themselves, how are they supposed to function in society or build a career in a world that supposedly increasingly values communication, empathy, resilience, and independent thought? Let’s look at the long-term effects this might have. I’ve been following Erica Komisar for a while now, and I absolutely love what she’s saying. People might not agree with her, and that’s fine, but much of what she shares is undeniably true. She talks openly about how children need nurturing, attuned, loving caregivers from birth, and what happens when they don’t have that. Her voice has become a bit of a beacon of hope for me, because she says what many people are afraid to say. In one interview, she mentioned something that really resonated with me, there’s little point taking a child to therapy if the parent isn’t willing to learn. And honestly, I teach this to every parent I work with. What are you willing to get on board with? You can’t drop a child off for an hour, expect some magical transformation, and then send them straight back into the same environment that created the issues in the first place. Therapy isn’t a car wash. You don’t go in dirty and come out shiny. Parents have to be willing to learn too. There’s a quote I love: “No one knows enough to be a pessimist.” So why aren’t we more open to new ideas? Learning is how we evolve. If more parents were willing to grow for the sake of their children, we’d be raising much happier, more emotionally aware young people. But here’s the challenge: how do we do this when we have emotionally unintelligent parents trying to raise emotionally intelligent children? How do we start changing the world we live in when so many adults don’t even know what emotional intelligence is? Maybe the first step is teaching the behaviour changes in a language people already understand, breaking it down, simplifying it, showing them what emotional intelligence actually looks like in everyday life, rather than making it sound like some psychological theory. Because if we can make it relatable, we can make it reachable. And if we can make it reachable, we can finally start raising a generation who can truly thrive, emotionally, socially, and mentally. All of this sounds good, but it leaves us with the important questions. Where do we start? Who is willing to share this message? Who is willing to get on board and move forward with it? For me, the answer keeps coming back to the same place. Confidence. I genuinely believe it’s my mission in life to teach confidence. And yes, I believe emotional intelligence and confidence are absolutely connected. If you have the confidence to believe in yourself, you naturally develop the confidence to believe that anything is possible. And when you’re in that mindset, you become more open, open to learning, open to self-awareness, open to understanding both your own emotions and the emotions of the people around you. So maybe that’s where I begin. Teaching confidence. And through my therapy work, my new book, my CPD-approved courses, and of course my Brainz Magazine articles, this is exactly where I am going to start. "Confidence." Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Donna Kirsten Reynolds Donna Kirsten Reynolds, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist Donna Reynolds discovered her passion for mental health and personal growth while living abroad and navigating her own challenges. After experiencing a sudden divorce that mirrored the struggles of many women around her, Donna sought to understand why such upheavals were so common. This quest led her to study mental health and behavior, ultimately guiding her to Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy. She believes that by changing our thoughts, we can overcome any barriers and create meaningful, lasting change in our lives.

Written by Heidi Richards Mooney, Author, Coach & Entrepreneur Heidi Richards Mooney is a dynamic professional speaker, celebrated author, seasoned entrepreneur, and Senior Executive Contributor dedicated to empowering individuals and businesses to succeed. As a past president of the Florida Speakers Association, she has inspired countless audiences with her expertise in PR, internet marketing, and brand elevation. Your voice is more than content, it is leadership in action. This article explores how thought leaders across industries use authenticity, courage, and clarity to inspire trust, spark change, and leave a lasting legacy by speaking up with purpose. Introduction: The gift that keeps on giving December is a season of giving. We gift each other time, attention, memories, and maybe even something sparkly in a box. But if you’re a thought leader, coach, consultant, or change maker, there’s one gift that keeps on giving long after the holidays end. Your voice. Not just the sound of it, but the meaning behind it. The message. The courage. When you share your voice with intention, you don’t just fill up a content calendar. You fill a need. You inspire and elevate the people who need you most. So, as you wrap up the year, and probably a few gifts, let’s talk about what it really means to “unwrap your voice” and how leaders in even the most unexpected industries have done it with boldness and heart. 1. The power of telling the hard truths: Retail meets reality “We told our customers the truth and they loved us more for it” At the height of pandemic supply chain chaos, Patagonia, yes, the beloved outdoor retail brand, did something risky. They told customers they were halting production on certain products. They didn’t sugarcoat it. They explained the why behind their decision, environmental impact, ethical sourcing, and a long-term vision for sustainability. This was more than a logistics update. It was a leadership move. Patagonia used its voice to take a stand, and customers rewarded that honesty with even more loyalty. “If you’re going to lead, say what you mean even when it’s inconvenient.” Lesson: Your voice doesn’t need to please everyone. It needs to stand for something. 2. Leading with vulnerability: Healthcare with a human heart “Speaking up as a nurse changed the conversation about burnout” When ICU nurse Emily Silverman started The Nocturnists, a podcast that shared raw, unfiltered stories from healthcare workers, she wasn’t trying to become a thought leader. She just knew her voice, and the voices of her colleagues, deserved to be heard. In an industry that often values stoicism over emotion, Emily created space for honesty. Her work not only sparked national conversations about mental health in medicine, it helped rehumanise the people behind the scrubs. “Your voice may be the permission someone else needs to finally speak up.” Lesson: Vulnerability isn’t weakness. In leadership, it’s a strength and a spark. 3. Turning expertise into empathy: The retail story with roots “From selling shoes to building movements: The TOMS impact” TOMS Shoes founder Blake Mycoskie didn’t just sell a product, he started with a story. After travelling to Argentina and seeing children without shoes, he returned with a mission. For every pair sold, one would be donated. What began as a “buy one, give one” model became a global movement. His voice, grounded in story, service, and simplicity, turned commerce into cause. “Your voice becomes influential when it helps others walk in someone else’s shoes.” Lesson: Thought leadership rooted in service isn’t promotional, it’s powerful. 4. Speaking for the silent: Healthcare activism as thought leadership “One doctor’s blog saved lives and changed policy.” Physician Dr. Rishi Manchanda started writing publicly about the social determinants of health, things like housing, food access, and safe neighbourhoods, and how they impact patient care. His TED Talk, What Makes Us Sick? Look Upstream went viral. His clear, purposeful voice helped shift healthcare narratives and made “upstream medicine” part of the national dialogue. “When your voice shines light on what’s overlooked, you become a leader others trust to see the whole picture.” Lesson: You don’t have to be famous to be heard. You just need to speak where silence has lived too long. 5. Thought leadership isn’t about you, it’s about legacy Thought leadership may begin with your voice, but it truly comes alive in the hearts and minds of those you reach. It’s not about going viral or building a vanity brand. It’s about creating something that lasts. Something that teaches, uplifts, or inspires long after the screen goes dark. The end of the year often nudges us to pause and reflect. And as a thought leader, it’s the perfect time to ask: What am I building? Who am I helping? What legacy will my voice leave behind? “You don’t have to change the whole world. You just have to change someone’s world, and that starts with speaking up.” When you share your story, your frameworks, your perspective, you’re building more than a platform. You’re building a ripple effect. Maybe someone gains the courage to finally speak up in a meeting. Maybe a reader starts a nonprofit because your blog helped her believe in her voice. Maybe a podcast listener finally makes peace with a failure you shared. You may never meet everyone you impact. But when your message is anchored in service, its influence echoes in places you’ll never go. “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”Shannon L. Alder Lesson: True thought leadership isn’t about being impressive. It’s about being impactful. Five ways to share your voice this season Share one personal story that reveals your “why.” Publish one bold opinion, even if it’s not universally agreed upon. Host a live Q&A or write a year-end letter to your audience. Highlight someone else’s voice in your community. Take 30 minutes to map out your 2026 thought leadership vision. Final reflection: Before you hit “post” one last time this year As you prepare to sign off for the season, take a quiet moment to ask yourself: Have I shown up in alignment with my message? Have I spoken the truth even when it felt a little risky? Have I made space for connection, not just content? And have I given my audience something that lasts, wisdom, courage, clarity, permission? This isn’t about what you could’ve done. This is about what you’re ready to step into next. Because your voice doesn’t expire on December 31st. In fact, it’s only getting stronger. Your reminder Your voice doesn’t need to be the loudest. It just needs to be authentic, anchored in purpose, and unafraid to lead. So go ahead. Unwrap it. Share it. Let it shine. Because someone out there is waiting to hear exactly what you have to say. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Heidi Richards Mooney Heidi Richards Mooney, Author, Coach & Entrepreneur Heidi Richards Mooney is a dynamic professional speaker, celebrated author, seasoned entrepreneur, and Senior Executive Contributor dedicated to empowering individuals and businesses to succeed. As a past president of the Florida Speakers Association, she has inspired countless audiences with her expertise in PR, internet marketing, and brand elevation. A small business owner and PR strategist, Heidi specializes in helping clients amplify their online presence, craft compelling narratives, and achieve measurable results. She empowers her clients to get their websites and online profiles noticed by leveraging innovative Public Relations campaigns, capitalizing on achievements to secure media attention, and building a consistent and influential brand voice.

Written by Louise Grant, Self-Relationship Coach As a self-relationship coach, Louise has lived experiences in a multitude of areas and combines this understanding with her qualifications to support clients in recovering from addiction and navigating relationships or divorce. At the heart of her work is returning to who we are meant to be! Christmas can be a complicated season for the adult child, especially when family relationships have shifted, broken, or been forever changed. While there is often an expectation of togetherness, many adult children move through December with a very different story, often dealing with estrangement, loss, or facing the reality that Christmas looks nothing like it once did. The season becomes less about tradition and more about emotional navigation, finding steady ground in a place of memories, expectations, and personal healing. 1. When family isn’t simple anymore As adults grow, relationships with parents or siblings may fracture due to unresolved conflict, trauma, or the need for healthy boundaries. Estrangement can bring relief, but it can also bring a deep sense of sadness during a season centered on family unity. Christmas can magnify that absence, making the adult child feel like they are standing on the outside of a celebration the world insists they should be part of. 2. Grief that arrives wrapped in memories For many adult children, grief sits at the table during Christmas, grief for loved ones who have passed away, for traditions that no longer exist, or for the family they wish they had. This time of year evokes memories, the smell of old recipes, familiar decorations, or a song that reminds them of someone they miss. Grief can be sharp or soft, and it can also be unexpected. Recognizing that grief is not a disruption to Christmas but a natural part of it for many adults can bring comfort and acceptance. 3. Redefining what family means Estrangement and loss can force adult children to rethink the very idea of “family.” Instead of the people they were born to, family may become the people they choose, friends, mentors, partners, or even communities built around shared experiences. Christmas becomes less about obligation and more about belonging, creating space with people who feel safe, supportive, and kind. 4. Allowing yourself new traditions If old traditions are too painful or no longer possible, creating new ones can feel both empowering and healing. This might mean a quiet Christmas morning, volunteering, traveling, or celebrating with a chosen family. Giving yourself permission to shape the holiday differently acknowledges your growth and honors your emotional well-being. New traditions do not erase the past, but they make room for a future that feels happier and healthier. 5. Handling guilt, pressure, and social expectations The adult child navigating estrangement or grief often faces unspoken pressure, as it is the season of “goodwill,” and may feel pushed to “just go home,” “make peace,” or “get into the Christmas spirit.” But healing does not follow holiday timelines. Choosing distance from harmful relationships, or choosing solitude over chaos, is not a failure. It means you are working through codependency. This is a period of time, and you have the right to experience it in a way that protects your mental and emotional health. 6. Supporting yourself through the season Adult children carrying grief or estrangement often need support, even if they do not always ask for it. This support might come from: Therapy or support groups Connecting with friends who understand Spending time in nature or with comforting routines Setting boundaries around gatherings or conversations Practicing self-compassion on difficult days Small, intentional acts of care can provide stability in a season that feels unpredictable. 7. Honouring what is gone without getting stuck there In the end The adult child at Christmas, especially the one carrying estrangement or grief, deserves gentleness, understanding, and space to breathe. Christmas does not have to match magazines, IG influencers, or TV ads. It can be quiet. It can be different. It can be healing. Christmas can still hold meaning, even when it holds pain. And in the process of navigating loss and change, the adult child may discover something deeper, the strength to build a time of year that reflects truth, resilience, and a softer, more authentic kind of hope. We are always evolving on this courageous journey of healing. Merry Christmas to all! From Louise at The Journey to Love Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from  Louise Grant Louise Grant, Self-Relationship Coach Louise is a compassionate Self-Relationship Therapist and Coach who helps clients break free from codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Drawing on both professional training and lived experience of addiction and recovery, she offers a safe space for healing and transformation. Her work blends spiritual and holistic practices to guide clients toward authentic relationships, inner peace, and lasting freedom

Written by David Lee Sheng Tin, Author, Coach, Health/Lifestyle Consultant Dr. David Lee Sheng Tin, author of Master Your Emotions – Transform Your Life, guides professionals and leaders to rise above stress, cultivate emotional intelligence, and live with clarity and purpose through a fusion of ancient and modern wisdom. The holidays glow brightly for many, yet for others, the lights illuminate a quieter kind of truth. Here’s how loneliness, loss, and love can coexist, and how to find comfort when the season feels still. The holidays return each year with a familiar rhythm, twinkling lights in windows, melodies drifting through stores, and tables waiting for laughter and stories. The season carries a sense of magic. It hums with nostalgia. But for many, that magic can also cast long, tender shadows. When you’ve lost someone dear, navigated a painful separation, or simply find yourself without close company, the festive noise can heighten the silence in your own heart. The sparkle feels distant. The warmth, harder to reach. A few years ago, I learned this intimately. My brother passed away just two days before Christmas. Later, my daughter and her sister faced their first holiday without their mother. Still, the tree went up. The lights twinkled. The traditions continued, not as celebrations, but as quiet tributes. The room looked the same, but the feeling had changed. We carried grief and gratitude side by side, learning that love doesn’t disappear. It transforms. The unspoken weight of holiday loneliness That experience opened my eyes to something millions quietly live with, loneliness during a time designed for togetherness. Even in rooms full of people, many find the season emotionally heavy. In a world that prizes productivity and constant connection, emotional presence has become rare. Professionals scroll through photos of gatherings they missed. Students far from home replay family memories from afar. Elders, once central to the holiday table, now spend December in stillness, waiting for visits that may never come. Even in the most vibrant communities and retirement centers, silence lingers behind polite smiles. It’s a reminder that connection isn’t about proximity, but presence, being truly seen and felt. Psychologists increasingly describe loneliness not as isolation alone, but as an emotional gap between the connection we crave and the connection we experience. And during the holidays, that gap can feel wider than ever. The culture of distraction In the face of discomfort, it’s human instinct to distract. We scroll endlessly, binge-watch, or post cheerful updates that don’t quite match our mood. Technology floods us with imagery of celebration, but offers little to soothe the soul. As psychiatrist Dr. David Hawkins writes in Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, healing begins not through resistance, but through allowing. When we pause to feel our emotions, without judgment or suppression, their grip loosens. The heaviness lifts, piece by piece. In that quiet, something soft and powerful emerges, the realization that loneliness is not a flaw or failure. It’s an invitation to reconnect with ourselves, to rediscover the quiet courage that sits beneath the noise. The lasting peace that comes from building a strong inner connection, one rooted in self-awareness and the quiet strength of your own divine essence. When you know your deeper Self, you discover a wellspring of warmth that no loss can ever extinguish. Without that inner connection, the disappearance of external comforts leaves a void where loneliness, despair, and emotional pain easily take root. Reclaiming connection, one gesture at a time As we move through this season, let’s widen our circle of care. Reach out to someone who might be navigating loss or distance this season, the colleague new in town, the recently divorced friend, the elderly neighbor who rarely gets visitors, or someone simply living alone. Invite them for a meal. Share a conversation. Bring them a small gift or a plate of food. Show someone that their existence matters. Small gestures have extraordinary power. They remind people that their existence matters, that they are seen. Your simple gesture could pull someone back from the edge of despair, rekindle hope, and remind them that love still flows through our communities. Connection is not a seasonal event. It’s a practice. And sometimes, it’s those who have known loneliness most deeply who can offer light most generously. The quiet heart of the holidays At its essence, the holiday season isn’t just about celebration. It’s about recognition, of our shared humanity, our fragility, and the strength that comes from kindness. So, if your tree stands tall but your heart feels quiet, remember, you’re not alone in that stillness. The magic of the season isn’t lost. It simply transforms. It shifts from the noise around you to the warmth within you and the love you share with others. This holiday season, share the love. Share the light. And may this holiday season bring comfort to every heart, including your own. That’s where the true light of the holiday lives. Happy Holidays! Follow me on Facebook , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from David Lee Sheng Tin David Lee Sheng Tin, Author, Coach, Health/Lifestyle Consultant Dr. David Lee Sheng Tin bridges ancient wisdom with modern science to unlock human potential from the inside out. As a certified Transcendental Meditation Teacher, integrative health coach, and published author, he guides high-performers and conscious leaders beyond the trap of external achievement into a life of sustainable success and profound inner peace. As the author of Master Your Emotions – Transform Your Life, he inspires others to rise above stress, reconnect with themselves, and create meaningful, fulfilling lives through Self-Mastery.