Why Time Isn’t the Healer You Think It Is and What Actually Works
- Brainz Magazine
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
Eljin is a transformative personal development coach from the Midlands, England, and the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme. For over 16 years, Eljin has guided people to release what’s holding them back, rediscover their purpose, and create life-changing transformation.
How NLP, EMDR, and Neurodynamic Breathwork help you finally move on by healing the emotional root, not just managing the symptom.
The myth that “time heals all wounds”
We’ve all heard the saying, “time heals all wounds.” It’s comforting, the idea that if we just wait long enough, our pain will fade on its own. But in truth, time doesn’t heal emotional wounds, it simply buries them.
Unprocessed pain doesn’t dissolve, it becomes part of our unconscious programming. Over time, it shapes our beliefs, behaviours, and even our identity. We might stop consciously thinking about the event that hurt us, but the emotional imprint remains stored in the body and nervous system, influencing how we show up in relationships, how we respond to stress, and how safe we feel in the world.
This is why someone can still react with fear, anger, or avoidance years after the original event. The nervous system remembers what the conscious mind forgets. Time alone doesn’t heal trauma, integration does.
It’s also vital to recognise that within the subconscious, there is no time. You can recall a memory from yesterday in seconds, just as you can a memory from childhood. The emotional imprint doesn’t fade with the calendar, it remains frozen until it is consciously reprocessed and integrated.
Why traditional counselling often isn’t enough
I say this with deep respect, after all, I practised traditional counselling for over 16 years, but talking alone often isn’t enough to create lasting change.
Traditional talk therapy can be valuable for awareness and insight. It helps people understand why they feel the way they do and gives language to their experiences. However, understanding isn’t the same as healing.
The analytical part of the mind, the conscious, rational layer, only accounts for around 5% of our total mental activity. The remaining 95% is subconscious and unconscious, where emotional memories, beliefs, and protective patterns live.
Talking about an emotional wound doesn’t necessarily release it from the body. In fact, retelling the same story repeatedly can sometimes reinforce the emotional charge, keeping the nervous system locked in the same loop of stress and meaning-making.
To truly heal, we must go deeper, to the level where the wound actually lives, the nervous system, the subconscious mind, and the body.
These are the modalities I’ve trained in over the years that consistently create deep transformation, and here’s why they work so effectively.
Why NLP, EMDR, and Neurodynamic breathwork work so deeply
These approaches go beyond cognitive awareness and access the unconscious programming that shapes emotional patterns. Each one works differently, yet all complement one another beautifully.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
NLP works with the language of the subconscious, the imagery, sensations, and internal representations that shape our perception. Rather than analysing a problem, NLP helps rewire how the mind stores and interprets experiences. This allows the emotional charge of a memory to dissolve and be reframed at a deep neurological level.
Think of your mind like a computer. When you save a Word document, it asks you to “save as.” The memory works the same way, it’s stored with a tag, a belief, an identity, and a meaning. That tag creates an emotion attached to it. The emotion will remain the same unless you “save it as” something new. By reframing the linguistic and sensory associations, the emotion can transform instantly.
We can also think of this visually. The mind stores memories as internal pictures or movies. The emotion attached to that image only exists while the mind continues to replay it in the same way. By altering the sensory details, such as brightness, size, sound, or distance, the emotional charge shifts.
You’ve probably experienced this naturally, hearing one particular song instantly brings back a memory and a feeling. Smelling cut grass or a certain perfume does the same. NLP uses this connection intentionally to release emotions without having to relive the pain. It’s safe, fast, and often permanent.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)
EMDR helps the brain reprocess traumatic or emotionally charged memories through bilateral stimulation such as eye movements, tapping, or sound. This activates both hemispheres of the brain, allowing “stuck” memories to move from the limbic system (the emotional brain) to the prefrontal cortex (the rational brain). In essence, EMDR helps the brain finish processing what time never did.
You might notice times when you go from 0 to 100 emotionally in seconds, a reaction that feels out of proportion to the moment. That’s because the present event has triggered an old memory still stored with its original emotional intensity. EMDR transforms these “stuck” memories into adapted ones, so you can remember the event without reliving the emotion.
In both NLP and EMDR, we can work with two kinds of memories:
Suppressed memories, those you consciously push down.
Repressed memories, those your unconscious mind has buried to protect you.
The latter are almost impossible to access through talk therapy alone. But through modalities that access the subconscious directly, they can be safely brought to awareness and integrated.
Neurodynamic breathwork
Breathwork accesses the body’s innate intelligence by using specific breathing patterns to release stored emotion, energy, and stress. It bypasses the analytical mind entirely, allowing suppressed emotions and unconscious material to surface and integrate.
From both a scientific and spiritual perspective, emotions are energy in motion, vibrations stored within the body. Every thought creates an electrical charge that generates a physical response. Over time, unprocessed emotions become trapped energy.
By consciously connecting with the breath, this trapped energy begins to dissolve. Through continuous circular breathing (done safely with a trained facilitator), we enter a state known as hypofrontality, a shift where the analytical mind quiets and the subconscious becomes accessible.
In this altered yet deeply conscious state, repressed memories and emotions can surface to be processed and released. Some traditions call this a kundalini activation, breathing through the chakras, awakening awareness, and rebalancing energy through the pineal gland. Whether you view it scientifically or spiritually, the outcome is the same, emotional liberation and clarity.
True healing is integration, not avoidance
Healing doesn’t come from waiting for time to pass, it comes from giving the body, mind, and nervous system the chance to complete what was once incomplete.
If you once had an argument with someone named Peter, and even years later his name still sparks a physical reaction, the emotion remains unhealed. When you eventually see him again, the unfinished energy will resurface until it’s consciously resolved.
Time doesn’t heal, it hides. Suppression, repression, and dissociation are not healing, they are forms of avoidance.
When we use tools like NLP, EMDR, and Neurodynamic Breathwork, we don’t just cope better. We change the emotional imprint at its source, freeing ourselves from old patterns and creating space for authentic clarity, confidence, and peace.
Time may soften the edges, but only deep integrative work truly heals.
And remember – if you have been triggered, it’s a gift. The implicit has simply become explicit, ready to be healed.
Read more from Eljin Keeling-Johnson
Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach
In 2005, Eljin walked into therapy battling anxiety, depression, and drug addiction. What began as a search for healing became a profound journey of self-discovery. Emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, he dedicated his life to helping others find their true selves and step into their full potential. Over the past 16 years, Eljin has delivered more than 16,000 hours of transformative coaching, blending conscious, subconscious, and unconscious work to create deep, lasting change. As the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme, his mission is simple yet powerful, to help people connect, grow, and thrive.
