Written by: Dr. Sydney Ceruto , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Narcissists usually employ kindness and generosity when you first meet them. They trick you into gaining your trust. However, eventually, they reveal their true identity. Kind narcissists are hard to identify . That’s because you don’t see them coming. Furthermore, you might well take it for granted that the person you just met is the most caring, thoughtful, and considerate person in the world. However, little by little, they reveal their other face. That dark side, where the most devious selfishness and darkest personality dwell. In recent years the term “narcissist” has become extremely popular. However, we should be careful not to use this label in an arbitrary way. For example, a narcissist isn’t someone who simply takes a lot of selfies or permanently seeks attention. As a matter of fact, narcissistic personality disorder defines an emotionally abusive profile that guides the behavior of the individual towards manipulation. Lack of empathy, grandiosity, inability to establish deep social ties, and an obsessive search for validation of others are the traits that define them. Furthermore, each narcissist uses their own techniques to get what they want . For instance, some exhibit openly malicious behavior. On the other hand, others are more devious and use kindness to profit. Let’s take a look. Kind narcissists Kind narcissists are in disguise. They’ll appear to be, for example, a nice guy or a charming and attentive woman . In addition, they often seem to be extremely trustworthy and usually enjoy social success. However, behind this facade hides the classic narcissist. It’s only their manners and techniques that are different. This is what proves to be so contradictory when you first meet them. Because you simply don’t notice that they’re a narcissist, as they don’t raise any suspicions in you at all. Bearing this in mind, you probably think that the narcissistic typology is rather broad and that’s why it’s so difficult to recognize them. However, this isn’t entirely true. As a matter of fact, the University of Pittsburgh (USA) conducted research that suggested we shouldn’t think about types or subtypes of narcissists, but rather about a disorder that falls within a spectrum . Therefore, some personalities are problematic, while others manage to integrate well. In addition, each one uses their own strategies, and both kindness and altruistic behavior may be included in their repertoire. Defining characteristics Kind narcissists are the kinds of people who, at the beginning, of a relationship, will move heaven and earth to please their partners. They’re always attentive and considerate. However, over time, the situation takes a complete turn for the worse. In fact, eventually, they don’t move a muscle for their partner. Furthermore, it’s only their own immediate needs that matter. However, the most complex thing is that outsiders will continue to see the narcissist as an outstanding person who’s admired by everyone. This personality profile also arises in people who take care of relatives whenever there’s a clear benefit for them, like an inheritance. It’s also commonly seen in work environments. It defines the kinds of colleagues who are always willing to help, yet who, at any given time, can work against you in multiple ways. They do it to get noticed or achieve some particular benefit to their advantage. Kindness as a decoy Narcissists don’t only appear to be nice. They assume they really are. Furthermore, you won’t see the narcissistic personality as hostile or threatening when they first appear on the horizon. Indeed, it’s not easy to identify them at the beginning. That’s because they’re generally so charming. Narcissists are viewed in this way because they need to create a good internal narrative about themselves. In fact, if there’s one trait, they all share, it’s low self-esteem . This makes them build an artificial image of themselves with which to support and validate themselves. Likewise, the kind narcissist knows that by acting in a prosocial and altruistic manner, he earns everyone’s trust. Kind narcissists deceive with their discreet behavior. They don’t seek to be the center of attention. In fact, they earn the trust of others little by little, which they then later use to their advantage. The discreet and generous narcissist is just as dangerous as any other There are narcissists who are wolves in wolf’s clothing and narcissists who are wolves in sheep’s clothing . The former is loud, impressive, and attention-seeking. They’re also outgoing, charismatic, and attractive and they manage to be the center of attention in any circumstance. The second kind demonstrates other types of behavior. Kind narcissists fall into this category. They’re discreet and less conspicuous. As a matter of fact, this is their great asset. It allows them to skillfully make emotional conquests and climb the career ladder at work. Authentic kindness starts from a genuine sense of empathy and altruism. Nothing is sought in return. The mere fact of acting out of goodness already acts as a benefit. However, this is something that narcissists can neither understand nor feel. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Sydney! Dr. Sydney Ceruto, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Sydney Ceruto has completed her doctoral education in the field of Cognitive & Behavioral Neuroscience & is a leading specialist in using your brains natural ability to change neuroplasticity to ensure you reach your desired goals. Her specialty is in helping clients recognize their faulty thinking patterns, change undesirable behaviors, developmental & emotional resiliency, & gain mental clarity. When Dr. Ceruto was a teenager, she tragically lost both parents. As an only child, the loss of family completely broke her. She became profoundly depressed & began suffering from chronic anxiety. Sydney felt lost, & any form of happiness, confidence, or clarity seemed a long way off. Soon after, she began to pursue her education in medicine at Yale & obtained three masters in psychology & two Ph.D.’s in both cognitive & behavioral neuroscience at NYU. Studying the mind-brain connection was indeed the paradigm for her healing & growth. Dr. Sydney Ceruto created MindLAB Neuroscience over two decades ago. She pioneered an integrative approach based on hard science that has genuinely changed the way people make positive &, more importantly, permanent changes in all areas of their lives. Her program is highly venerated & has debunked all the myths regarding the efficacy of “traditional therapy” & the sad misnomer that you need to be on a counselor’s couch for years or even decades. Several publications have Dr. Sydney Ceruto on staff as a senior writer. She is a proud member of the Forbes Executive Council, Positive Performance Alliance, Wharton Executive Education Program, and Executive Writer for Alternatives Watch and Brainz Magazine. She has an avid intellect, a keen understanding of human nature, & an uncanny ability to connect deeply with clients. Dr. Ceruto is hands-on, accessible, highly intuitive, compassionate & is told … pretty funny! One of her passions is traveling, which she has done extensively. Dr. Ceruto is an avid sports enthusiast and watches everything from football to Formula 1 racing. She plays golf whenever she can and enjoys exploring other cultures. Dr. Ceruto has one son who graduated from Princeton University and is studying to become a corporate attorney. She also has an affinity for animals and is an adoring mom to her 1.5-pound Micro Cuban Chihuahua, Lolita.

Written by: Zovig Garboushian, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Women leaders deal with getting blindsided at work far more than is typically acknowledged. I know I certainly did. I experienced aggressive questioning and laughter at my ideas. I was talked over and interrupted countless times. I was thrown under the bus and had my ideas stolen right after they came out of my mouth. I had leadership shout in my face and experienced subtle microaggressions in private and public. The Act of Getting Blindsided Can Take Many Forms Getting blindsided can happen within the hidden crevices of insidious microaggressions, or it can occur blatantly and with an audience, like being skewered in a meeting. No matter how it happens, it sucks to get blindsided at work. It triggers emotions like defensiveness, embarrassment, or foolishness, which stop us from thinking clearly and responding powerfully. And unfortunately, it happens more often to women than to men. As a coach who works primarily with women in leadership, I've heard stories from my clients about presenting in boardrooms where their ideas our outright attacked. They've been told "Your delivery sucks" or "That's not for you to know," even though they hold executive and C-level roles. It's disorienting, confusing, and incredibly hurtful, not to mention a professional outrage. Two Options to Handle Being Blindsided at Work So, what do you do? First, you can always ignore it. Sometimes, giving an attack zero airtime is the best response. Silence can be powerful. But, that might also leave you ruminating and recycling coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts, which take energy and can leave you unresolved. Another option is to re-engineer the heated moment in your favor. Step 1: Give yourself a micro-moment to collect your composure. I'm talking even half a second. That's all it takes. Do this by responding to the person with, "That's interesting," even when it's not. Another good response is, "Hold on, let me consider that," even if you have no intention to do so. The words don't matter as much as the forced pause they create for your benefit. Step 2: Respond with a question rather than a reaction. Try something like: Why do you see it that way? Could you share more? Or, a non-question question: Walk me through how you got to that idea. The blindsider (i.e., the bully) will not expect this, so the result is twofold: First, the element of surprise, and second, that it puts them in the hot seat, promptly taking you, the blindsided, out. They are responsible for explaining themselves, and you get another moment to continue collecting your thoughts. This surprising tactic leverages curiosity – a powerful leadership skill – which can allow you to create understanding and completely upemd the attempt at throwing you off your game. Step 3: Continue asking questions. Questions have the power to release the pressure valve and defuse the heat. You might even turn the experience into a productive debate. Why Is It So Hard? It feels easier said than done. As I mentioned, being blindsided triggers an array of emotions within us, a reactivity that we can't often navigate in the moment. Instead, we rely on retrospective thinking and strategize ways to engage with that person in the future. Still, it's tough to let the experience and the feelings associated with it go. Work is where we want to be known for our capabilities, competence, and excellence. When we get blindsided, it's an attempt to invalidate those attributes. And, for a moment, the energy with which we get blindsided overwhelms our sense of ourselves, and we question who we are and if we know what we're doing (imposter syndrome, anyone?). It happens in the blink of an eye. The words get spoken, they land at warp speed in our hearts, our emotions get triggered, and we go into our preferred survival mode—fight, flight, or freeze. If Being Blindsided is the Poison, Knowing Ourselves is the Antidote. It's crucial for women to do the vital work of getting connected to ourselves, owning our value, and knowing in our bones who we are and what we offer to the world. We do this through coaching, therapy, supportive communities, and our fan clubs of friends and loved ones, all of whom can put honest mirrors in our faces. The more bone knowledge we have about who we are, the less likely someone can blindside us because we're grounded in our truth and know the depths of our expertise as fact. We can accept that it's okay not to know something (including in front of people) – we're not ashamed or embarrassed by a gap in our knowledge. We interpret it as an opportunity to learn rather than a time to defend or hide. While I have given you a few tactics to handle being blindsided in the moment, the overall answer is to fortify ourselves within our truth. That can never be taken away and can withstand any feeble attempt at invalidating our power as women in leadership. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Zovig! Zovig Garboushian, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Zovig Garboushian, CEO of Boldness Ablaze Coaching, is an Executive Coach and Speaker who focuses on advancing women in leadership and in their careers. Her vision is a world where women go after what they want boldly and unapologetically. She works with leaders by helping them deepen their self-awareness, ease their extremes, trust themselves deeply, and self-manage with clarity, competence, and consciousness.

Written by: Claire Muller, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. With the holiday season loading, it can be lonely for those hanging on by a thread. The last few weeks of the year and pressure mounts with all that we’ve been through, what we still need to complete, planning for the holiday and the coming year. We all know the feeling of having done everything we could and feeling like we are not even close to where we would like to be. Productivity, creativity, motivation and the ability to concentrate on small tasks seem overwhelming If you’re counting the days to the holidays or to the new year, you’ve probably had enough. You are not alone. Here are 10 ideas to re-energize: Stop doing what you’re doing and have a 10-minute time out. Get up and make yourself a cup of tea. Take care of your body. Eat regularly and have a well-balanced diet. Take a good multi-vitamin and get some good rest If you need time alone, make it count. Do me-time activities that give you a break from reality and make you feel good about yourself. A good example would be self-care. When you’re looking good, it lifts your mood. The look-good and feel-good energy do wonders. Set aside some downtime to recharge your batteries, even if it’s only for a short while. It will be worth it as you gain a mini break from a task, returning with clarity and perspective. Start moving and get some exercise. A walk, run, or gym session is rejuvenating, even if it’s a quick workout at home. It’s an excellent way to detox your body and mind. Prayer and meditation are calming. Prayer is my favourite activity to break the cycle and quiet the mind. Breathing exercises help you to compose yourself and think in the heat of the moment about your next action steps. Music is great to pull you out of low energy and bad moods, especially if it’s happy music that makes dancing irresistible—cue the dance music and dance to your heart’s content. Practice gratitude. Gratitude is an art, and it shifts the mind from being problem-focused to being solution-driven. Learn to see the blessing and silver lining when it is difficult to think of a reason to be grateful. Start journalling, it helps take stock of thoughts and feelings. It lets you get a few things off your chest and possibly change your perception. Looking after your mental and emotional well-being is acceptable and recommended. Permission without guilt – decline invites that would make you feel more drained. Release some pressure by delegating tasks that don’t need your attention. Please seek professional assistance if more than one of the following symptoms is the norm and not an exception. Physical Frequent headaches Appetite changes and digestive issues Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much Frequent sickness Muscular aches and pains Behaviour Isolating and withdrawing yourself from any social interaction Abusing food, alcohol and drugs Being snappy and taking your frustrations out on It’s the holiday season, and whether you celebrate or not, it can be stressful. Be gentle with yourself. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Claire! Claire Muller, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Claire Muller has 23 years of experience and worked in corporate and government institutions. She is a qualified trainer and assessor, helping organizations with leadership development. She is a certified NLP Practioner, and her coaching toolbox includes Life, Business, Executive, Abundance, Creativity, Enneagram and Hypnotherapy. Claire's forte is Personal Mastery and love's mindset work, challenging limiting beliefs and thinking patterns and reframing those thoughts with positivity. She believes in self-development and is in the process of completing her masters in NLP. Her passion is to serve and empower others, coaching Leaders and Executives from around the globe.

Written by: Oddný Edwards, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I have noticed lately that no matter where I am or whom I am with I hear how busy everyone is, and worse. It has even been brought to my attention that so often we don’t allow kids to get bored. They have to be busy all the time. I remember getting so bored as a kid I would create stuff from nature. Back in my home country we would even get so imaginative that old sheep jaws, nature had claimed, we used as a pretend horse and giddy giddy on we would with our imaginary elf friends. (whole different story) Of course reading this now I can see why Iceland is full of creatives! However, there is something in what we now label as boredom. Space, calm, stillness, free flowing energy and most importantly the room for exploring ideas. I am as guilty as the next person though. I have caught myself wanting to reply when asked how I am doing. “Oh I am just so busy.” If someone comes to my desk I can feel my heart sink and I am thinking oh gosh! I am so busy! But here is the thing. Is it deeper than that? Are we compensating for not feeling enough? That we have attached being and feeling busy with a worth tag? I am worth more, and others will think more of me if I am always busy? The same with children? Do we feel like we aren’t enough if we aren’t entertaining them all the time? As a business owner and a worker, I accept that I must make sacrifice and juggle time. However, I am choosing this. I chose to start and launch my own businesses. I chose to work full-time. I choose to do exercise outside of work and I chose to have this life, but the fact remains that I still don’t feel like I do and am enough. I get caught up in watching feeds, listening to podcasts and comparing. The deal was never good enough, I could be doing more. Constantly feeling like I am not doing enough. So I bury myself in needless tasks and say I am busy. I am busy – that is not a lie. However how much of that is busy being busy to feel better and more important? Probably more than I care to admit. Hence now I own it. I own having days where I don’t do as much, and I fight my guilt and I act as a tree. Drink water, smile to the sun and allow personal and business growth to happen a little guilt free-er. I take time out to watch the birds and breath in nature. After all my business was born from a moment sitting in middle of nowhere in Costa Rica breathing in the magic of nature. I was stood there doing nothing but breathing. Bam! The idea of Oskubox that later was to evolve to Öskuhús was born! Here are my tips when you catch yourself feeling like you need to be busy being busy: Smile at yourself and have a giggle – no one really cares if you are busier than them. Sorry to be so blunt. All that matters is getting the task or job done in so many cases. Do the best you can, and most often the best work we do is when we feel confident. Smiling brings out confidence Stop everything you are doing. Breathe and walk away even if for 1 minute. (In the restaurant if we all started flapping, I used to make everyone put down their pans and stop everything they were doing for 1min. It was remarkable how that one minute would restore the balance. Without a word we got back to work.) Good old List – make a list of what needs to be done and what can wait Do 2 of what needs to be done and 1 of the things that can wait. – This way I feed the busy monster and love myself by not discarding the smaller tasks Identify what made you need to be busy being busy. If it was a task, person or a day you felt inferior – look at using the time you have to learn more about that topic. If it was you didn’t feel enough, remember we all have the same feelings so don’t waste your time feeding that energy and find ways to appreciate yourself. There will always be days where we are so busy, we can hardly even go to the loo! Trust me having had my own eatery I have had plenty of them but I also look back and think about the times I could have worked smarter. Hence now when my desk piles up with work and I hear people being so busy that they can’t even respond to e-mails or have conversations about work we are all trying to do together. I smile, walk away, breathe for a minute, and remind myself that I don’t have to follow suit. I can get my work done, leave with enough time to energize myself, and enjoy the little moments whatever that task requires. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Oddný! Oddný Edwards, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Oddný Edwards is an award-winning Chef and Creator. Born in Iceland where she was taught to respect and learn from nature. When she was sixteen, Oddny moved to Hawaii, immersing herself in an organic flower and herb farm. Here she learned even more how to live off the land, and about the diverse trees and their ability to feed and medicate us. Armed with this knowledge Oddný set out to save trees. Starting with the ash tree. She opended a restaurant and cafe with focus on edible trees and has launched her own products infused with ash trees in hope to rescue them. Turns out the ash tree is full of medicinal properties.

Written by: Patricia Arboleda, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Looking to bridge the gender gap in the workplace? Here are powerful tips to help women in leadership succeed. Many big businesses love to boast about increased diversity on their teams or inside their workplaces, but seeing as only 6% of Fortune 500 CEO positions are held by women, there’s clearly a lot of work left to be done. This disparity in female-to-male-led positions is astounding, but not surprising. Though women have long-since been ascending the stairs to shatter the glass ceiling, inequality in the workplace isn’t just chalked up to societal constructs. Changing the Way We Think There are many variables that keep women from positions of power and influence, many of which can be addressed by transforming the lens through which we view these women in their professional sense. We must start by first empowering them to strive for power, and then watch them shine. What resources or tips will help more women strive for more? Here are a few tips to help women in leadership actually succeed: Don’t Glorify Perfect It is a fact universally acknowledged that women are held to different standards than their male counterparts. And this dynamic is even more pronounced in the workplace where effort, ownership, and assertiveness are all metrics on which our value to a team is being measured. Because women are held to different standards, women feel as though they have to work harder in order to gain the same notoriety as their male coworkers. This drives many women to perfectionism. Though many leaders see perfectionism as a strong attribute for a valuable team player, it can have negative repercussions. Being obsessed with the outcome of any project or idea leads us to a perfectionist mindset, which increases our chances of burnout exponentially. To avoid the ‘Big B’, establishing a healthy work-life balance is essential and can also help relieve the pressure that comes with perfectionism. The Trick is Confidence Another effect of uneven standards between men and women in the workplace is that women feel as though they have to prove their self-worth. They spend much of their time and energy focusing on the pesky gap, and this leads to an internalized lack of self-confidence. Not having enough women in important leadership positions to luck up to or to serve as mentors doesn’t help much either. Shift the Focus. As we noted earlier, there has been a push for more women in the workplace. Though companies are attempting to diversify their teams by hiring more women, the investment is mainly being focused on hard professional skills and not on the internal issues that are also key factors as to why women feel out of place in business. Internal issues such as lack of self-confidence, not feeling courageous enough, or feeding self-doubt are common among women in the workplace. Though they’re common outside the workplace as well, these are things that need to be addressed and nurtured in order for women to feel empowered enough to ascend into leadership positions. Build Courageous Leaders. Moving away from the traditional leadership styles of yesteryear, encouraging courageous leadership will help build empowerment across the board. Courageous leaders know that nothing truly innovative can be done alone. They foster a supportive team by ensuring that everyone has an equally essential seat at the table, making sure that every member is valued. Everyone – not just women – could benefit from this type of encouraging atmosphere at work. Courageous leaders are also great risk-takers. They are given safe space and free reign to speak their minds, allowing an open flow of ideas to germinate and come to fruition. They are also born from workplaces that encourage originality and being themselves. There is no bell curve gradient here, only the ability to express yourself freely regardless of gender. Building the Tools to Do it. As an Executive Coach, my programs are tailored for women leaders. Our Round Table Discussions address each of the pivotal issues laid out above, and much more. These in-person or virtual gatherings can help take female entrepreneurs into the world of leadership by helping them master their inner game, amplify their strengths, catalyze their leadership power, and carving out their dream jobs and roles. For more information on an upcoming Round Table Discussion, click here. Key Takeaways: To drastically close the gap in numbers between male and female profession leaders, we must first develop an unshakable mindset in those women looking to succeed. We must push women leaders to lead from the inside out, breaking habits such as perfectionism that lead to lack of confidence and negative self-talk--all things that keep them from taking those positions of power in the first place. The time has come to make deep-rooted changes, so let’s get to work. If you want to strengthen your leadership skills or those of your team, book a call. I would love to talk with you. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or visit my website for more info! Read more from Patricia! Patricia Arboleda, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Patricia Arboleda is a certified Executive & Leadership Coach, Former Fortune 500 Senior Executive, keynote speaker, and the Founder of Arboleda Coaching. Through her interactive and transformative corporate and individual coaching programs, she empowers driven diverse leaders to accelerate their success, take their careers to the next level, and break through barriers to build the futures that they want and deserve.

Written by: Dr. Petra Frese, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When striving for success, it is essential to have failsafe techniques at hand that are easy to use, discreet, and always available. The breath is a tool we use so many times each day, yet it is easy to forget its power. Through the breath, we can stimulate our brain and switch between the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system. The way you breathe can strongly influence the outcome of your presentation, meeting, or task. Here are 3 simple exercises to help put you in the right state when tackling any situation so you can become even more successful. The powerful tool for success that you always have available There is one tool for success that we all carry with us constantly. You have it with you, no matter what. It is easy to use, and you don’t need to carry a heavy bag everywhere you go. You can use this tool everywhere, whether you are by yourself or around other people. Nobody will know. You can use it on the go or when you have a quiet moment. You can use it while you are doing other things. It’s a tool we use many, many times every day. Yet, we tend to take it for granted. Do you know what that tool is? The Breath can be your most useful tool to achieve success We breathe about 16 times per minute, 960 times per hour, accumulating to about 22’000 times daily. Oftentimes, we take our breath for granted, and we tend to forget how we can use it to manage stress, balance out energy, and increase our focus and productivity, among other things. The Nasal Cycle Test You can use a simple test to determine whether you operate primarily in the parasympathetic or the sympathetic nervous system at any given moment. The Nasal Cycle Test was first developed in 1895 by German physician Richard Kayser. For this self-test, place a finger under your nose and feel which nostril your breath passes through more easily. The dominant nostril tells you much about your current state. If your right nostril passes more air, your sympathetic nervous system is stimulated, and there is more left-brain activity. You might feel alert, on the go, and ready for physical activity and action. If you can feel more air pass through your left nostril, your parasympathetic nervous circuit is stimulated at that moment, and there is more right-brain activity. You might feel relaxed and empathetic. Calm and creativity benefit from this circuit. Keep in mind that this changes several times throughout the day. Depending on which result your test brings, you can choose your breathing exercise accordingly. You can also influence your state by choosing to breathe through only one nostril for a short while. 3 practical breathing exercises to help you be more successful in any given situation When you know that your breath is one of your most powerful tools to achieve success, and without a doubt the most practical one at that, you can do many different exercises to use this tool to your advantage. Here are three simple breathing techniques: 1. Breathing exercise to calm you down Whether you are just about to give a big presentation or walking into an important interview, chances are your nerves are running a little bit wild. In these situations, it is crucial to balance your entire system. We aim to breathe about half as much per minute as we usually do, but with twice the air volume. Engage your diaphragm with each breath. The diaphragm will massage and stimulate your vagus nerve, which increases your ability to adapt to your environment. Imagine your breath as a triangle to achieve a calm state of mind. You can breathe in while counting to 4, then hold at the top for four, and then breathe out for four. Do about 12 sets of this triangle breath. Notice how you feel calmer already? 2. Breathing exercise to increase focus You can also support your brain when you need an extra boost in focus by adjusting your breathing. It is fascinating to see how much a simple breathing exercise can help bring on that laser focus we need for certain tasks, projects, and situations. You can use the Nasal Cycle, as described above, to your advantage for this one. Aim to balance both parts of your nervous system, both sides of your brain. For this exercise, the objective is to close your nostrils in an alternating manner. To do so, use the thumb of your right hand to close your right nostril and the ring finger of the same hand to close your left nostril. Inhale through your left nostril while closing the right one for a four-count. Then, close both nostrils and hold your breath to the count of four. Afterward, breathe out of your right nostril while counting to four. Now do the exercise in reverse: In through the right nostril, hold for four, and out through the left nostril. Reverse it again, and again. After about ten cycles, you can get back to your normal breathing and feel how balanced your system is and how your brain is now ready to focus on the task at hand. 3. Breathing exercise to energize you We all know those times when we just feel sluggish and desperately need a coffee or energy drink. Why not substitute those stimulants with a breathing exercise? For this exercise, the goal is to reach 30+ breaths per minute. Use this exercise with caution and watch how you feel. The goal is not to hyperventilate but to slightly increase the oxygen level in your blood and constrict your blood vessels. This will give you a temporary boost in energy, and you will be able to get over the afternoon slump by waking up your body. This exercise works by engaging your core muscles and forcing out your breath. That means that there is a clear focus on the sharp exhale. Then, the inhale will happen on its own. You can do three rounds of forcing out your breath 30 times, so about every 2 seconds. Then, take a moment to return to your normal breathing pattern and enjoy the energy boost. It will certainly sustain longer than an espresso and will be good for your brain. Intention is key With these tools ready at your disposal, you can help your brain and body do everything you need them to do to achieve the success you desire. As with everything, these exercises are even more impactful if you do them with your mind engaged. Set a specific intention before beginning your exercise and see how much more powerful the experience becomes. Use your breath to your advantage It is so fascinating how something as simple as breathing could be your key to becoming more successful and achieving the goals you set for yourself and, ultimately, being more in alignment with your soul’s plan. In my practice, I work with the breath on a daily basis. It is easy to take our breath for granted and forget the power of each inhale and exhale, and the life force the breath carries. I would be happy to help you to step into your full potential, also by utilizing your breath. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to learn even more about your breath and its power, more breathing exercises, and the benefits for your brain. Make every breath count! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Petra! Dr. Petra Frese, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Petra Frese, a scientist turned success coach and spiritual healer, is an expert in brain health science and peak mental performance. After her multiple Near-Death Experiences, which dramatically widened her horizon and views on life, she integrated her spiritual insights into her science-based coaching practice. She became a healer and dedicates her life to assisting others to heal from trauma, accessing their full brainpower, and living in alignment with their soul’s purpose. Petra is a double-board certified hypnotherapist and neuroencoding specialist. She is the founder of Peak Mind Academy and Lehigh Valley Hypnosis LLC, serving clients around the globe. She is also the award-winning author of two bestselling books and among her most recent accolades are the Crea Global Award 2022, the Quality Business Award 2022, the 2022 Best of Allentown Award, the Brainz500 Award 2021 and the Excellence in Hypnosis Award 2020. Petra was born in Germany, then lived in Switzerland where she founded her first company and served as a firefighter before she moved to the USA. Her motto: “Science plus Wisdom is LOVE.”

Written by: Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When was the last time you had a conversation with your leader about your career development? And leaders ‒ when was the last time you talked to your team members about this topic? Last week, I facilitated a workshop focused on career planning. The sponsor was offering something to their employees that's the gold standard ‒ giving them the tools and resources to reflect on their career intention and then helping them with strategies to take action. The main message I offered this group? Career planning is a journey, it's not an event. It is ongoing as the priorities in our life and career change over time. It requires hitting the "pause" button on your career every now and then, reflecting on work that fuels you, your values and whether the work you do (and where you do it) aligns with your values. It requires research ‒ digging deep to explore possibilities. And it requires conversation. Talking about your career goals. To your leader. To others in your circle. This conversation is not one way ‒ although team members need to take charge of their own career development, they also need leaders who will support them on this journey. Leaders ‒ you can ask 5 key questions to get the conversation started: What aspects of your work give you energy? What aspects of your work detract from that energy, or are frustrating/challenging? What would you like to do and haven't had the opportunity to do yet? What areas of our organization are you interested in learning more about? How can I support you? (perhaps it's providing a job shadow opportunity or making a connection) And team members ‒ you don't need to wait until your leader initiates this conversation. Show that you are taking charge of your career development and initiate this conversation ‒ at a time different from your annual performance review. What are you doing to take charge of your career planning? Follow me on Facebook, Li nkedin, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Michelle! Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Michelle Schafer is an International Coaching Federation Certified Coach and Facilitator specializing in career transition and leadership. She is the owner and founder of Michelle Schafer Coaching, empowering people to achieve career fulfillment. Michelle has personally experienced two significant career transitions through restructuring and has reinvented herself for new careers both times. She deeply understands the physical, emotional and mental impact associated with a job search. Michelle is passionate about people and inspired by their progress, working with clients at all levels of an organization and across sectors including federal and municipal government, high tech, not-for-profit and financial services. Michelle offers coaching 1:1 in groups and recently was certified in the foundations of team coaching with the Global Team Coaching Institute.

Written by: Natalia Jansen, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. You Are A Creator. You woke up breathing this morning, that means you are creating a life today. Whether you are consciously aware of your creative power or no, you use it daily. More precisely, you are a co-creator working in collaboration with Infinite Intelligence. Your subconscious mind communicates with the infinite through your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and habits, and in turn the infinite intelligence delivers everything you are in harmony with without any resistance or judgment. If you have results in your life now that you just don’t like, they don’t serve you, or you’d prefer things were different, you absolutely do have the power to change it. Wishing, waiting, and hoping aren’t going to change anything. What’s required is an increase in awareness, clarity on what it is you want, firm decision, and daily inspired action. The steps are simple, yet they require will and persistence to master them. Surrounding yourself with mentors, teachers, and like-minded people will exponentially increase the rate of your progress toward creating new results that you would love. One of my favorite spiritual teachers is William Shakespeare because theatre is my first and everlasting love affair, The Bard has been a companion and a source of inspiration for me my entire life. Shakespeare has infused his plays and sonnets with much spiritual wisdom. The Bard who started with a blank page and an idea of what he wanted, when he discovered there were no words for the idea he wanted to express, he simply created it; he made it up. Shakespeare is credited with adding more than 3000 words to the English Language, simply by seeking to communicate clearly and intentionally his purpose and message in the stories he wanted to tell. Life Is A Film Without A Second Night You are the main character of your story. You possess the power to define, design, and create the role you want to play in this one precious human life we get to live. In theatre, the first night, also called the opening night or the premiere is the first time the artists see what they have created. After the show, they take notes and adjust what they want to improve for the second night, and so on. They continuously revise and improve so they are happy with what they have created. With our human life, we only get one go at it. The show goes on as long as we breathe, so there is no way to go back and start again. However, we do get to notice, pause, reflect, mold, shape, and create, revise and re-write it as we go. We can’t change what has already happened, the past is set, but it does not dictate our future, unless we choose to believe that we have no control and we are slaves to our old ways of thinking, old beliefs, and habitual actions. Ignorance is not bliss. It’s the cause of pain, suffering, and frustration so many of us experience. I strive to open the doors of imagination for all of my clients and help them understand the power they possess. My Favorite Shakespeare Quotes In this article, I share some of my favorite quotes from William Shakespeare’s plays, who so eloquently weaves these words of spiritual wisdom into his stories. I intend for you to discover and embrace the truth about who you are. Know that you are powerful and capable of much more than you realize. You can access the mind of infinite intelligence, and with it, find an answer to any question and a solution to any challenge you might be experiencing. With creativity and resilience, you can unleash your true Self. Be the hero of your story, and create the best story you can imagine. To truly comprehend the power of these statements, you must be willing to open your mind to new perspectives and consider that the way you are used to thinking is so common, you are not even aware you are doing it. Transformation requires thinking in new and uncommon ways and these pearls of wisdom from the Bard can get you started pondering some of these new ideas. To begin, we have to understand and pre-suppose the following truth. The truth that there is only one thing happening in the universe and it is life continuously moving up the spiral of creation pouring energy into expressing more of itself through each blade of grass, bird in the sky, and every one of us spiritual beings having a human experience. This is the truth Shakespeare states in Hamlet, when he writes, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet) Everything that happens is the spirit of life seeking a fuller, more expanded expression, so when things occur in our lives that are commonly thought of as “bad”, in reality, they are bad only if we choose to see it that way. We get to choose our prospective. When we get news of a diagnosis or get fired, or a loved one makes a transition from this world into the next, we can recognize the facts, we experience a myriad of feelings, but ultimately we can choose to pause on labeling it as something “bad”. Things happen and will continue to that we cannot control, but according to the premise of the above truth, that everything is happening for the purpose of expressing more life, then it’s not bad, it’s just something that is providing an opportunity for us to grow in our strength, compassion, confidence, or whatever part of our life that is seeking a fuller expression. The power of choosing how we see adversities is up to us. Shakespeare advises us to embrace them: “Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head; and this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.” (William Shakespeare, As You Like It) No matter what challenge, obstacle, or painful event happens, when the shock wears off, turn your attention to the possible good that can come of it. If you choose to search for the good, increase your curiosity and wonder in regards to what is the opportunity or lesson this experience brings, you will find, as the Bard writes, that there is “good in everything.” Believe In Yourself Life is always seeking more, and the way for us to know with absolute certainty that life is speaking to us directly is by noticing our longing and discontent. Discontent is something that’s pushing you to let go of something in your life that’s an irritant. You know you feel discontent if you have something that gets you upset, frustrated, or irritated. Anytime you notice these feelings, they are signals for you to get curious and find out what it is you want less of in your life. Longing is what pulls on your heartstrings. Something you wish or hope for. That’s the direction life is beckoning you to put more of your energy and focus on. Notice it and trust that life is guiding you in the direction that’s best for you. The Bard says, “Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night). So the longing you feel is the call of greatness that yet awaits you, surrender to it, and don’t be afraid to take a step in the direction of what you desire. Ophelia in Act IV, Scene 5 in Shakespeare’s Hamlet says, “We know what we are, but not what we may be.” The only way to find out is to have the courage to follow your longing and take action that is aligned with your desire. Suppressing the longing and desires that our dreams evoke in us, leaves us living in fear and unfulfilled. The life we create afraid is a muted version of what can be if we choose to take a leap of faith and trust that life wants only the best for us. Through the character of Julius Caesar, Shakespeare imparts these words of wisdom, “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, It seems to me most strange that men should fear; Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.” (William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar) People who choose to suppress and ignore their longings and choose to live a safe, muted version of life letting their dreams die with them are filled with regret. Those brave enough to go for it, even if they fail, they know that they have truly lived. What you want to recognize is that feelings of fear and doubt are your companions, they are signals letting you know you are stepping outside of the zone of the familiar, your current comfort. The beliefs, habits, thoughts, and actions you have been accustomed to taking up until now cause the fear to show up. They must die in order for your new desires, and new ways of being to form. But it’s only your old ways of being, old patterns, and subconscious programming that are dying, you are transforming.. When you answer the longing in your heart with a firm decision, commitment, and action, you are growing and taking the necessary steps to become more alive. So keep these words in mind when the doubts show up: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” (William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure), So don’t let the doubts stop you. They are guaranteed to show up because you are stepping into the unknown. When you go beyond the familiar, that’s where greatness awaits you... Of course, as you begin your transformation journey in pursuit of your dreams, answering the pull of your longing and heart’s desire, those close to you will also be afraid for you and wish you to remain safe by trying to dissuade you from your new path. Remember, only you know what is right for you, and answering the call of life is your responsibility. It will help you unlock your potential and discover who you truly are and what you are capable of. The great poet’s advice is “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” (William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well) Instead of listening to the well-intentioned advice of those who are hiding from life, listen to your intuition and heart. They will never steer you wrong. Take The Lead Pursuing your dream requires persistence. The endeavor will include mistakes and failures. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” (William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream) So be sure you are really in love with your dream and the dream is worthy of all your attention and life’s energy. Because that’s what it will take to become the lead character in your life story. It will take all of you and the help of infinite intelligence. To conclude, I want to leave you with this final quote: “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.” (William Shakespeare, As You Like It) As you move forward and write your life story, remember that you are not stuck with the part you have been playing up until now. You have the power to choose the role you want to play in your story and every day you can improve by paying attention, reflecting, revising, and taking actions aligned with the new version of who you want to become. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Natalia! Natalia Jansen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Natalia combines her rigorous certification training with Brave Thinking Institute by Mary Morrissey, her 20 years of experience as an educator and theatre artist with her passion for personal development and spiritual transformation to her mission to teach women ‒ especially single moms ‒ to embrace their spiritual nature, re-ignite their dreams, take charge of their life, and design the life they truly love living.

Written by: Melinda Briton, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. From time to time the diagnosis of austism, ADHD, giftedness, dyspraxia, dyslexia … or ANY of the ‘ias’ (there are a few of them!) brings comfort – “Ahhhhh! It’s not my bad parenting! It’s not my cooking skills! It’s not because I didn’t give them a first birthday party!” But often the diagnosis brings anxiety, guilt and overwhelm to the parent, not to mention sadness and a sense of loss for the life and experiences we wanted for our child. When a child gets assessed and diagnosed, parents will often ask me, with a sense of urgency, ‒ “What is the best thing I can do for my child right now?” People often think I will say, “Find a tutor/extra reading/fun maths games/more discipline/social skills class,” etc... If done well, none of these things would be problematic. But often parents are surprised at the answer I DO give as the top priority: Are you ready to be blown away? Find support for you. It’s the old, ‘fit your own mask before assisting the children’ chestnut. As the parent, you have an enormous opportunities for teaching and modelling of helpful ‘big emotion’ strategies, and any of these differences will bring big emotions, both for you and for your child. So really, it turns out to be a win win! But how is this done and where does one start? Here are 3 really helpful ways you can get support: 1. Find an online or in person support group Not all support groups are created equal. Find a support group that meets your needs ‒ is mostly filled with supportive people, strategies, and a safe place for you to discuss the issues you’re having around your child’s differences and how it is making you feel. Don’t be afraid to join lots of them, and then leave all of them except the one that works for you. 2. Find a psychologist, counsellor, or therapist for yourself In Australia, you can go to your GP and get a mental health plan. This means that there will often only be a small gap to cover when paying for a psychologist appointment. Some art therapists and counsellors can also come under various mental health plan schemes. If you can’t afford to go to a therapist, there are quite a few psychologists sharing very helpful information online as a stop gap. This does not mean you have to accept everything they say! Think about it more like a buffet style meal ‒ take what appeals to you and leave the rest. 3. Take ‘you’ time I can feel the rolled eyes and the shrugged shoulders! I know that this is easier said than done. But this is truly, truly one of the most effective and important things that any parent can do for their children, let alone parents of children who require extra support. Not only does ‘you time’ model the importance of self-reflection, and supplying oneself with what one needs, but it provides you the time to express and process emotions in the way you need to. Sometimes the way we need to express emotions is not appropriate in the context of the home, and yet these emotions DO need to be expressed! Perhaps this is sitting alone in the garden for half an hour on the weekend, having farmed the children out to friends or family. Perhaps this is taking yourself away for a weekend once a term, to cry and paint and journal. Perhaps this is going to see an art therapist once a month or taking a class to support your own hobby. Whatever you choose to do, ‘you time’ can be made even more effective as an educational tool for your child by having deliberate and open conversations about why you are doing it. When I say ‘open conversations’, I don’t mean you give your child every detail of your emotional life! But rather that you would discuss the need and normality to self-reflect and listen to our bodies and our brains for what we need to process the feelings life brings. Obviously, this must be done in an age-appropriate way! When you have a child for which the system is not designed, a child whose brain runs faster, thinks higher, feels more deeply, and takes a bit longer than the system is allowing for, there are going to be lots and lots of big emotions that you as the parent are going to have to come to terms with. Having support to do this can be the best thing you can do for your child. And the sooner the better. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram for more info! Read more from Melinda! Melinda Briton, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Melinda Briton became an art therapist after noticing, as an educator for over a decade, a gross inability between students and teachers alike to identify and regulate emotions in the classroom. Having a deep passion for effective and equitable education, she wondered how she might fill the niche. Meli Swan Art Therapy was born. Meli believes that having a solid foundation in emotional processing is a key element in effective education for both neurotypical and neurodiverse people. She brings her expertise as a Teacher for the Supported, music teacher and drama teacher (k-10), and her personal experience with a Learning Difference to her roll as art therapist.

Written by: Alastair Duhs, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do you have a problem with anger? You might be surprised to know that many people do. In fact, anger is one of the most common psychological problems. It can interfere with your work, damage relationships, and even lead to physical health problems. If you're unsure whether you have an anger problem, here are five signs to look for. 1. You get angry easily over small things. Do small things, like a traffic jam or a spilt drink, send you into an angry rage? If so, you likely have an anger problem. While getting angry over small things may not seem like a big deal, people who get mad at small things are much more likely to react with anger in more serious situations, such as during an argument with their partner. It is a great chance to practice your anger management tools when inconvenient things happen. The more you practice these tools in response to small things, the more prepared you'll be when more significant issues arise. 2. You bottle up your anger, and it comes out in other ways. Is your anger simmering under the surface, just waiting for a chance to be expressed? If so, it is vital you address any underlying issues that are contributing to your anger. These issues may include unresolved trauma, stress, relationship conflict or depression. Bottling up your anger can cause it to be expressed in other ways, such as passive aggression or self-defeating behaviour. Some simple ways to address underlying issues include talking with a therapist, practising mindfulness, journaling your thoughts and feelings, or engaging in physical activities that help you to release built-up stress. 3. You lash out at those closest to you. Do you yell or be overly critical of your loved ones? If so, this signifies you may have an anger problem. It is important to remember that your loved ones are the people you should treat the best. If you find yourself lashing out at them, getting help for your anger is vital before it damages your relationship with them, perhaps forever. For many people, the best way to prevent their anger from spilling over with their loved ones is to enrol in an anger management course, such as my comprehensive online course, The Complete Anger Management System. In The Complete Anger Management System, you will learn effective tools and techniques to control your anger before it hurts the ones you love. 4. You can't stay in control of your emotions. Are you often unable to control your anger? If so, you are likely to have an anger problem. When your emotions are out of control, it is essential to remember that there are ways to take back control. Learning breathing and relaxation exercises, taking Time-Out, setting limits on yourself, using positive self-talk, and seeking professional help can help you stay in control. A simple statement that I frequently make to my clients is that "anger just does not work". Anger rarely gets you what you want and usually makes things worse. Remembering this simple fact is a great way to avoid letting anger get the better of you. 5. Someone has told you you have an anger issue. Has someone close to you told you they are concerned about your anger? If so, this indicates that you may have an anger problem. Listening to those close to you is essential, as they have insight that you do not have. Remember that it takes a lot of courage for someone to tell you they are worried about your anger. Respect and appreciate their willingness to talk to you openly and honestly about the issue. If someone has told you they are concerned about your anger, taking action and getting help is essential. Talking to a therapist or taking an anger management course, such as The Complete Anger Management System, will help you address your anger. These are just a few signs that you may have an anger problem. Remember, addressing any underlying issues contributing to your anger and practising your anger management tools is essential. The more you practice these tools in response to small things, the more prepared you'll be when more significant issues arise. By taking the steps necessary to address your anger, you can be sure it won't control or damage your life. Good luck! If you have any questions or need more help, please feel free to reach out. I'm here to help. For more information, please visit my website. Read more from Alastair! Alastair Duhs, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Alastair Duhs is an anger management expert. Over the last 30 years, Alastair has taught more than 10,000 men and women how to control their anger and create calmer, happier, and more loving relationships. Alastair is the founder of The Complete Anger Management System, a life-changing anger management course that has helped thousands of people control their anger and create calmer and happier lives, often in just 21 days or less. You deserve to live a calmer, happier and more peaceful life ‒ and with Alastair's help, you can make it happen.

Written by: Candace Fox, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? We have to look forward, in order to move in the direction, we want our lives to go. But how many of us have our foot on the gas pedal, the tires straight forward but our eyes glued to the rear-view mirror? It’s no wonder so many people feel lost, moving in life without direction – feeling stuck in their past while trying to forge ahead. This was me for many years. I was constantly trying to analyze my past as a way to control the direction of my future, hoping to avoid the same ditches I always seemed to find myself in, literally and figuratively. It was like I was looking at an old, outdated map, trying to find the location of a new development, in a different city. I was making life harder on myself without knowing it. The truth was, I was rooted in my past. Although my intentions were to change, I had tunnel vision leading me right back into the same old habits, relationships, patterns, and behaviors I was trying to escape. I felt stuck, confused, and frustrated. The Law of Attraction tells us, what we focus our attention on grows. Even if we are focusing on what we want to avoid, guess what ‒ we end up manifesting and actualizing that which we don’t want into our reality. Neuroplasticity tells us, our experiences shape our thoughts, and our thoughts shape our experiences. It also tells us that our brain has the ability to grow and evolve – it is as malleable as we need and want it to be. Neuroscience tells us we have influence over our brain just as much as our brain has influence over us. The catch? We need to be consciously aware of what we are thinking and consuming, and most important ‒ we need to be intentional with reprogramming our thoughts and beliefs. Our current reality is a reflection of where we are anchored and what we are focusing on. So, the big question is, how can we shift this for ourselves? First, we need to remind ourselves, change doesn’t happen overnight – but small steps, done consistently over time will eventually yield big results. Progress over perfection, am I right? So here we go: Take note and hold yourself accountable. If you find yourself ruminating over something in your past, scrolling through an ex’s social media, or complaining about the same ol’ ‒ same ol’, stop yourself by literally saying aloud, STOP ‒ every single time! I’ve recommended clients say something along the lines of this, “STOP! I love you. We aren’t doing this anymore.” This removes the shame around calling yourself out and is a gentle reminder that yes, you are in fact not interested in going back there anymore. Anchor yourself in the present moment and bring your awareness back to the here and now. There are several ways you can do this. You can use self-regulation tools like Acupressure Tapping, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), and/or Havening Touch Techniques™. You can also focus on your breath. Music and/or movement might be your preference. Recounting five things you are grateful for in your current life is also a great way to elevate your mood and bring your awareness back from the past to the present. Identify and get honest with yourself about why you keep looking in the rear-view mirror of your life? It can be addictive, I know. But you really need to ask yourself, is searching every side road, deep ditch, and deserted path of your past helping you get where you want to go? The answer is likely, NO! So, what is really going on? Answer the following: If I wasn’t stuck in the past – what would be possible for me today and in the future? If I stopped reliving my past in the present, what would my reality look like, today? How would I need to change, in order to shift this for myself? What do I need to let go of, in order to move forward in my life? Allow yourself to explore what’s possible for you. Identify what you DO want! It’s funny how most of us find it easier to focus on what we don’t want – what we are trying to avoid rather than focus on the things we believe we deserve or can achieve. Katherine Woodward Thomas says, “What can’t come through you, can’t come to you.” Meaning, if you don’t believe you are worthy of good things, you will continue to push those things away. If you have deep-rooted self-worth issues, this is where I would recommend accessing support, whether it be a practitioner like myself or another professional support person like a counselor, therapist, or coach. Remain committed to co-creating your future (with the Universe). It’s YOUR vision. Stay in the driver’s seat. Don’t get distracted by what’s happening around you, or behind you. If you get off track and need support, ask people who are invested in seeing you achieve your vision for a successful future. Those are the individuals who will help you chart a path forward. I love this quote by Normal Vincent Peale, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” We all deserve to be wildly in love with our lives and it is our responsibility to make that happen for ourselves. Last but certainly not least, give yourself the credit you deserve for showing up for yourself in ways that feel scary, uncomfortable, invigorating, and unfamiliar. You are doing something most people do not have the guts to do – TAKING ACTION toward your vision for a better and brighter future. It is not easy, but let me tell you, it is worth it and your future self will thank you for the effort you are making today to shift your tomorrow. Friends, keep your eyes peeled forward, your foot on the gas and most importantly – enjoy the journey. None of us know what lay on the road ahead, and it certainly isn’t a race to get there so take your time and let curiosity and excitement lead the way! Was this helpful? I’d love to hear how! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Candace! Candace Fox, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Candace M. Fox is a Psychosensory/somatic Practitioner who works with Neurodivergent youth & adults, sharing self-regulation tools and resources to support them on their journey towards self-discovery and transformational growth. Born and raised on the prairies in Canada, Candace has always had a passion for helping others. Her journey of healing has been a wild ride and led to an AD[H]D diagnosis at the age of 35. Today, she's doing what she loves most ‒ using her past struggles as a catalyst to help others. A self-professed 'student of life', Candace admits her clients teach her just as much if not more than she does them.

Written by: Lucie Petrelis, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Multiple Sclerosis and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are hosted in the brain of millions of individuals all over the world. Both conditions have a long list of challenging traits and symptoms which have the power to significantly affect in many ways the daily lives of the individuals concerned. I was diagnosed with MS at the age of 22 and with ADHD at 42. My personal experience granted me the opportunity to learn a lot about both conditions. I have distinguished many common significant challenges. Today I present three of them to you, intending to bring awareness on the topics of MS and ADHD and increase compassion towards ourselves and each other, no matter our truth. Here are 3 main common realities for both MS and ADHD: 1. Misconception and stereotypical image MS: A person sitting in a wheelchair with reduced mobility. ADHD: A young boy running around the room uncontrollably. Regarding MS, unfortunately, there are still individuals that during the progress of the disease lose their ability to walk or naturally use their arms and body the way they used to. But this is less often today compared to the previous decades. New treatments and research, more knowledge and awareness ‒ also through the internet and social media, lifestyle and priority changes, a variety of available support, and all kinds of non-medical options have significantly improved the physical, mental, and emotional state of the person, preventing in many cases a radical disability. This means that many people living with MS will never use a wheelchair permanently despite still having a disability and many challenges in other aspects. Regarding ADHD, there is still a lot of research to be done and statistics to be updated, as most of the studies so far have been focusing on young boys. This target group is not representative of reality, and thousands of people remain unaware, undiagnosed, unmedicated, unsupported, and unhappy. In my environment, there are currently many women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals that are in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD or – thanks to the general awareness that has finally evolve ‒ suspecting they have ADHD (often after the ADHD diagnosis of their child). Most of them are over 35 years old, realizing only now the main reasons they have struggled all their lives. 2. Invisible conditions MS: But you don't look sick. ADHD: But you seem so calm. Thanks to the evolution of treatments and knowledge, MS can be invisible. This invisibility doesn't diminish the daily challenges, physical pain, cognitive and mental symptoms, and emotional rollercoasters that a patient with MS faces every day without anyone necessarily seeing it or knowing about it. Many MS patients experience symptoms and discomfort that the eye cannot see, such as fatigue, burning sensations, numbness, confusion, poor memory, brain fog, and many more. But the fact that we don't see it doesn't mean it is not there. Due to the misleading image of ADHD, we often get confused, especially with traits such as hyperactivity (this is just an example). The first assumption about hyperactive people is that they constantly move while restless. Especially for adults who are physically calmer by nature or have learned to mask their needs for (not socially accepted) movement, the main hyperactivity happens in their brains. They can either have constant thoughts about one topic or a non-ending wheel of fortune of thoughts passing through their brain. And all this thinking can make a person feel completely exhausted just by sitting there and doing visibly nothing. This overthinking is often not controllable or manageable without proper medication, and you cannot see it unless you are in the person's head. 3. Unpredictability MS: But you were fine yesterday. ADHD: But you advanced so well on your tasks yesterday. Let's emphasize "yesterday," which means "not today"! Living with MS is the biggest teacher of living in the moment. A person can have incredible energy, a positive mood, and no physical pain one day and be the complete opposite one day later or 12, 6, or even 1 hour later. This tricky reality is a very challenging feature of MS. It's a crucial aspect that must be considered and worked on to bring many alternative solutions and flexible daily planning, especially when more people are involved. Dedicated time and energy for conversations with others are highly recommended to explain in advance the possibility that plans could be canceled and postponed at any moment. So, for this aspect, communication is the key. ADHD strongly impacts focus, concentration, memory, and performance on the things that must be done in the daily life of a human. An individual living with ADHD might have prepared a clear to-do list, be super proud of their well-organized bullet points, finally slept well last night after so long, and now they are ready to tackle the day. So, nothing could go wrong, right? Well… that is wrong. No matter the effort put in the preparation, no matter the perfect planning, the brain can unpredictably decide not to work on that day or at the level the individual was hoping for. Unfortunately, it's not a matter of willpower or of trying harder. If the brain decides to go offline, then it can stay like that for a very long time. Since no instruction manual comes along with an ADHD diagnosis, the individuals don't know how to "hack" the brain and make it perform. Not always being able to stick to their to-dos can cause many individuals to have low self-esteem feeling inadequate. In cases like that, asking for support can make a real difference. MS and ADHD are different, but these three common truths can teach us all a lot about such conditions but also in a more general sense. The main thoughts that I wish to communicate with you are that due to old misleading and old-fashioned conceptions, and the invisible and unpredictable aspects of both conditions, people are seriously suffering and struggling every single day. And these people could be us or anyone else around us. The thought of others suffering in silence or ourselves suffering in silence should be a wake-up call to increase our compassion towards ourselves and others. Imagine how many people with challenging realities are suffering around us, and we have no idea about it. And this could impact their behavior, performance, words, actions, mood, and every aspect of who they are. Let's open our hearts and be compassionate towards ourselves and others because often, what we think, see, and believe is not all there is. There is so much more to each one's truth. It's up to us to create safe spaces for all of us to open up about our struggles and strengths so we can transform our society into a place where we can all be ourselves and live our life the best possible way together. Trustworthy resources: MS: https://www.nationalmssociety.org/ ADHD: https://www.additudemag.com/ Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Lucie! Lucie Petrelis, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lucie Petrelis is a certified life coach supporting individuals with ADHD and MS to redesign their life in a way that makes sense to them, and that is based on their needs. At 22, she temporarily lost her ability to walk and was suddenly diagnosed with MS, forcing her to rethink her life’s perspective and priorities. Twenty years later, her diagnosis of ADHD gave her the gift of finally understanding the root of so many of her challenges. Using the power of her stamina, positivity, and proven methodologies, she inspires and drives others to take their life into their own hands, re-structure it, re-prioritize it, add a lot of joy in it, and above all be proud of who they are. Her motto: Your challenges are valid.