Written by: Melissa McClain, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What does forgiveness mean to you? Do you really know how and why you should always strive to forgive yourself and others? We all have terrible things that happen to us in our lives. Grief, sorrow, broken hearts. We are all human and have made numerous mistakes along our journey. Things that bring us heart ache because we wish we would have known better so we could have showed up differently. Broken friendships. Lost loves. Irreparable relationships. Childhood abuse. Adulthood abuse. It is hard to get through life if you don’t know how to forgive yourself or others. For those that you once loved and still love and often the most challenging is how to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is not simply saying “I forgive you”. It’s doing the work of letting go. I like to think of forgiveness as a conscious choice we make and remake over the course of our lives so we can mentally just move the fuck on. We are all human and we all make mistakes and at some point, in our lives we will all be in a position of either asking for forgiveness or granting it. Forgiveness done right is a gift and done well can work miracles. It is giving priority to your emotional wellness. You can learn to accept your past so you can reclaim your future. I am a Midlife Reinvention Coach. I empower women over 40 to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. Together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity, and love. At the heart of forgiveness is compassion. Compassion for the person who harmed you and most importantly compassion for yourself. Allow yourself to feel and process your feelings. We all need to do a better job with this because we are not taught this growing up. The worst thing you can experience is emotion. When you learn how to process your emotions you get to move through them vs. shoving them down and resisting them. Resisting emotions cause pain because it needs to be processed. Learning the art of allowing your emotions, allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel is medicine for your soul. It will pass. It may show up again, allow it and it will pass again. The emotion will show up as many times as it needs to but it will pass and you will be healing along the way. You get to learn and grow from all of your experiences. When you think of life in that way you are living on a higher vibrational level as a human. “Nothing is more generous and loving than the willingness to embrace grief in order to forgive” – Brene Brown Forgiveness involves honesty, courage, self-reflection and the ability to listen closely. Tuning into your intuition and listening to it. It involves a lot of love over and over again. Practicing the art of forgiveness has its own reward. It is a gift you give to yourself first and foremost and then to the world. Forgiveness always starts with you. I think people get confused and think if they forgive someone who perpetrated or hurt them that they are condoning bad behavior. This is so far from what forgiveness is. You can forgive someone and never tell them. It is a release on your heavy heart. Hurt people hurt people. We cannot change what has happened to us in the past. We can change how we look at that story and understand if it is serving us in the present day. If it hurts, brings sadness, or causes you to be self-critical, wishing what could have would have should have, you will benefit from taking a new fresh perspective of that story. You get to choose. You always have the opportunity to being again. You do this work when you choose to love yourself first and foremost. Loving yourself with all the battle scars that you collect along this journey in life. We are all here to learn our lessons and when you don’t you will continue to make the same mistakes until you do. Be a person who is done with reliving those old mistakes and instead wants to enjoy life as a higher-level human. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attitude for the strong” – Mahatma Gandhi Forgiveness is actually an intentional and deliberate decision we make to fully align our will with the life affirming perspective of using mistakes made – both ours and theirs to grow our wisdom, learn our lessons and pay forward the amends in how we live. It is a personal decision that we make with ourselves to restore vitality, possibility and integrity into our lives once and for all. To learn more about Forgiveness, I highly recommend the book The Gift of Forgiveness by Katherine Pratt Self-love is everything. The art of forgiveness for yourself is the ultimate act of self-love. The person who forgives ultimately gets 100% of the benefit. Here’s the thing, holding onto anger is like keeping a fresh wound open and just picking at it and never letting it heal. Doing this for years and years on end. Unfortunately, this is so common. We pick up things at an early age when we don’t know better and make that story true. Do your stories serve you? 5 Forgiveness Tips and Taking Back Your Personal Power Think of one person you need to forgive. Is this a parent, friend, lover, child, etc.? Write about this experience. Do a thought download. No one has to see it but it is healing to get the story out of your head and on to paper. Be really honest here. Cry your way through this if you need to. When you read this story how does it make you feel? What are you telling yourself about this story? What are you making this story mean today? Does this story serve you? Does it hold you back? Does it affect all areas of your life? Explain. Imagine that your best friend, your favorite human came to you with this story. What would you say to her? Write how you would love on her, mentor her and guide her. This guidance you provided to your favorite human; this is for you. This can be your new story. Does it feel better? To deepen your knowledge even further, here is a special blog on the companion to forgiveness, The Art of Allowing What is. I am a Midlife Reinvention Coach. I empower women over 40 to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. Together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity, and love. If you are ready to work with a Midlife Reinvention Coach and drastically improve your life, I invite you to sign up for a free consult and learn more about 1:1 coaching. It is risk free. Please visit me here. You have one life right now. Live it big and full. You get to decide. And guess what, you get to change your mind and begin again and again until you get it right however many times it takes. You know when it is right because you can feel it deep within your soul. It’s a wonderful flutter. A feeling of love. I help you get there. It is the greatest investment you can make for yourself. You are beautiful. You are seen. You are enough. You are loveable. You are worth it. I will always believe in you. For more information, please contact us here. And you can book a Free Discovery Call here. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Melissa! Melissa McClain, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Melissa McClain is a Certified Midlife Reinvention Coach based in Atlanta, GA. She empowers single women 40+ to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. She is passionate about helping women rock all phases of midlife transitions. This can look like divorce, separation, grief/loss, singlehood, conscious dating, and perimenopause/menopause to name a few. She has created a proven 4 step coaching process blending Tantra, Embodiment and Mindset coaching techniques to help her clients create a more empowered chapter as they navigate and fully embrace the wisdom of midlife. She is the Founder of Melissa McClain Coaching, a global 1:1 coaching platform.

Orange County, California, which is famous for its attractive coastlines and is the home to Disneyland, also is the home to GIGO Clean Technology. GIGO Clean can be called uber for the cleaning industry. It started from a Small Office in Santa Ana, California. “You book your ride on your phone. Why don’t you book your home cleaning on your phone?” This is a question that GIGO Clean application answers. GIGO clean technology is an application that connects consumers to the cleaner’s available in-service address zip code. The application is free to download and easy to use. It is a safe and secure platform for both consumers and cleaning professionals. Using GIGO Clean App, consumers pay less, and cleaners receive higher pay. The company is a revolution in the residential cleaning industry. If you want a house cleaning service, download the GIGO Clean application, and connect with the nearest cleaners available at your service address area. GIGO Clean APP is available to download in Southern California.

Written by: Giada Labrecque, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. As a massage therapist, I may be somewhat biased, but by golly is massage a great skill to have! Having massage as a skill can do so much for you and the ones you love. In this article, I am going to outline how exactly one benefits from learning massage, and tell you where you can learn from the very best. Some may be self-explanatory, and some may come as a surprise, but all are great reasons to learn the art of a great massage! So let’s start with the most obvious and arguably selfish reason to learn massage… 1. You get massaged! One of my all-time favourite perks of learning to massage was receiving so much of it. Pretty literally, every day I spent learning massage techniques, I was being treated by my fellow students. Now, this isn’t guaranteed. I suppose it ultimately depends on how much of a massage education you want to invest in. But if you’re learning in person, or online with a friend, then you can bet you’ll be on the receiving end of some semblance of massage therapy a good portion of the time that you spend learning. Aside from the obvious benefits of being massaged, many of which you can read about in my last Brainz Magazine article “Massage Helps That!”; there’s a surprising benefit that can be gained while learning massage. That is, the art of perfect pressure and sore points, otherwise known as… 2. Therapeutic Touch In a way, learning therapeutic touch is the best-case scenario and poster child for anecdotal evidence. What I mean is, if you’re paying close enough attention while receiving a massage, you’ll get to know some really tender points of the body. If you commit them to memory, you are way more likely to become the giver of a great massage. You see, the body is finite in its number of muscles, bones, joints and possible sore places. Sure, arguably, any spot could be a potential sore spot, but there are absolutely a predictable few. Get to know them, learn to moderate your pressure around them, and tension will melt like butter in your hands. So many times my clients will say things like, “It’s like you know where all the sore spots are”, or “How do you know exactly where to press all the time?”, and the answer is, I’ve felt them too, so I know where they are. I know we like to believe we are all so different, but under the lens of massage, so much is the same. A lot of it boils down to body mechanics and our repetitive posturing. These two things combined will pretty nearly always give predictable results, namely soreness, stiffness, spasms, and tension. Mitigating the consequences of everyday living is a massage therapist’s bread and butter. We accomplish this not through constant deep-pressed elbows and death grips, but through appropriate, therapeutic and tempered touch.It may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at the amount of people who miss that memo. So do yourself and everyone in your hands a favour, and hone the art of therapeutic touch.When you do, you will effectively… 3. Gain a level of intimacy through massage Whether I like to admit it or not, massage offers the learner a chance to step into a realm of intimacy they were quite likely unaware of before. Why don’t I like to admit this? Well to be honest, I tend to resent the gross underbelly of the massage industry. I’ve spent a fair bit of time turning away and managing unsavoury and bold characters who pose to be looking for massage when really what they are looking for is sex work, to put it plainly. It’s actually a big part of why I structured my businesses the way I have so that I do not have to work with men in that intimate of a setting…but I digress. Creeps and opportunistic weirdos aside, the intimacy gained through learning massage is a genuinely beautiful thing. It can and has literally brought me to tears, both when receiving and giving a massage treatment. Massage can do so much, and touch so much more than physical pain. It can nurture the lonely heart, it can soften the bitter soul, it can rejuvenate the tired mind, and yes, it can stoke the primal fire. Which is why massage makes you… 4. A more desirable potential partner I’d be remiss if I didn’t say it, because it is 100% true that knowing how to give a great massage makes you a more desirable person and potential partner. Why? Well, if I must explain… So often getting a good massage can actually feel way better than a few minutes of predictable foreplay and whatever comes next. Ha. But really, giving a great massage can make your partner feel nurtured and cared for and loved, as if they had in fact been made love to. A great massage can be a powerful aphrodisiac and make your partner feel comfortable, safe, and wanting. Knowing your way around a person's body with confidence and care is a skill that speaks for itself when the time is right. Once people are aware you have this skill, don’t be surprised when they start to seek you out. Way before my partner and I had ever met, he’d often said to his band members and friends that the best girlfriend to have would be a massage therapist. The day we met, he and the lads just about hit the floor when I told them what I did for a living. They erupted with joy, like they had just found something they didn’t even know they could be looking for, and immediately told me (jokingly of course) that I was hired, and not allowed to leave. The rest is pretty much history, as they say. So while, yes, massage is a great tool to use in the bedroom, and with your partner in general, don’t forget that it can be a bonding opportunity with almost anybody. Which brings me to my next benefit… 5. You can help the ones you love through massage! One of the most invaluable things massage therapy gave me was the empowerment to help when all else feels helpless. Growing up I’d experienced a few things that made me feel truly helpless. Like there was nothing I could do but sit by and witness. Whether it was the illness of a loved one, or a friend with a major injury, or a depleted parent. With massage, there’s always something to be offered. A comfort, a stress released, an itch scratched or an ache erased. You can even trade with it! 6. The beauty of barter with massage One of the very best things about massage is that it is a fantastic bartering tool. It may not work for everything, but it has saved me literally thousands. Because I can trade with massage, I have gotten countless hours of therapies I would have never had the budget to pay for. Pretty well every tattoo I have gotten in the last 5 years has been paid for with massage therapy. Even creating my book, Self-Care Solutions @ Work, was largely paid for through hours of massage. I have exchanged massage for art, for personal training, professional photography, music lessons, and even video editing. What's more, because I am able to trade for so many things with massage,I am also able to save more, thanks to massage. Do you see what I am getting at? If not, here it is: 7. Massage Therapy is a great way to make a living! I left this for last because it is for those of you still reading. If you’re interested in massage and learning massage, maybe you should consider a career in massage. Massage therapy gives you the freedom to choose your own hours, to be your own boss and take whatever holidays and days off you want. Being a massage therapist is one of the most rewarding, satisfying and stress free jobs there will ever be. Sure, it may make you a bit sleepy sometimes, but with the right amounts of caffeine you’ll always be calm, collected and at peace. Your arms and hands will always be soft yet strong, you can do your job with shoes on or off, and you’ll always be warm, cosy and in comfortable clothing. At the end of the day… Everybody has a body. A majority of those bodies have aches and pains, and most of the owners of those bodies enjoy massage. Massage absolutely makes the world a better place.At least my world, anyway. So if you’d like to learn more about massage, even just to dip your toes in, why not check out the high-quality online courses at teachable? There you will find some great introductions to massage, just go here. If, instead, you'd like to make a trip of it and do a day of learning with me, just go here. We’ll spend 5 hours going through the basics of a great massage. I will give you the 4 secrets for giving a great massage, teach you several techniques with hands-on experience, and you’ll even walk away with a custom massage oil. Think you might want to become a massage therapist but still have a few questions? You can use this link to book a consultation call with me, and we can figure it out together! Just go here. Regardless of how you go about it, one thing is for sure, you’ll never regret learning the art of massage! Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Giada! Giada Labrecque, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Giada Labrecque is an enthusiast and advocate for all things holistic and natural. As a massage therapist, she helps people every day with their aches and pains, offering real time help, remedial advice and practical self-care strategies. As a bus accident survivor, Giada has a great understanding of pain and rehabilitation. She has a great interest in natural pain relief, as well as natural immunity and stress relief solutions. Giada is the owner and operator of two massage based businesses in Galway Ireland, named She Kneads and Office Kneads. She is also the author of "Self-Care Solutions @ Work" and a public speaker.

Written by: Janifer Wheeler, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Although you may be a solopreneur or side hustler, you are not running your life and business alone. Unfortunately, your inner critic is often a NOT so silent partner. You know whom I mean, that bitchy little voice that says, “you suck,” or “you can’t do that,” or “who the hell do you think YOU are”? We all know that to be successful, you must be hardworking but also confident and self-assured. But it’s not always easy to love yourself, especially when you’re in the thick of running your business. The truth is that if you don’t learn how to fall in love with yourself and practice self-love daily, you won’t be able to reach your full potential. It’s time to put your inner Bully back into her place and start building a self-love system that works. Because when you love yourself, you can show up confidently in your business, relationships, and life. Here are some tips to get started. Tip 1: Acknowledge Your Inner Bully The first step towards falling in love with yourself is acknowledging your Inner Bully. This means the little voice isn’t going anywhere, but you can learn how to shift it into a more positive space. For example, I attended a workshop years ago on Imposter Syndrome, and we were encouraged to give our Inner Bully a hateful, unattractive name that describes how I feel when she shows up. This helps to take away her power and gives you more control. When your inner Bully shows up – and she will – take a few deep breaths and recognize her for who she is. Call her by name and tell her to get the hell out. Remind yourself that you don’t need to listen to her toxic bullshit and that you can create your reality and do things on your terms. Tip 2: Affirm Yourself Every Day Start each day with positive affirmations and end each day with them too! For example, tell yourself things like “I am worthy,” “I am strong,” or “I am BADASS.” This will help you start your days off right and end them feeling confident and empowered. You’ll find that these affirmations will become second nature after a while, and you’ll naturally think positively about yourself without having to remind yourself. If you are a member of The JOYFull BadApp, you will also get weekly affirmations to support this healthy habit! Affirmations are also a powerful protection against your Inner Bully. She hates it when you ignore her! “My Future is a Golden, Sparkly Explosion of Awesomeness.” Tip 3: Stop Comparing Yourself With Others One of the most significant barriers to loving yourself is comparisonitis. This has been made SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE because of Social Media. You are constantly bombarded with images and messages about how you should look, think and be. It can be hard not to compare yourself to these other bitches when surrounded by such “perfection.” When you compare yourself with others and find yourself lacking, it will negatively affect your level of self-love. However, this only makes us feel worse about ourselves and does nothing for our self-esteem or confidence. So, instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on the things that make you unique and special – even if they seem small or insignificant at first glance! Seriously, YOU ARE BADASS & you need to own that! Tip 4: Create A Self-Care Plan Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and mani/pedis (although those are nice too, and I need them regularly). It’s about taking the time each day to do something just for you – whether reading a book, working on a hobby, or even having a dance party by yourself! The point is to carve out some time each day when you can give your mind and body the relaxation it needs without any external pressures or expectations. By taking care of yourself first, you’ll notice an immediate improvement in how much easier it is to fall in love with who you are! Tip 5: Make Sure to Date Yo’ Self In addition to making time to do something each day just for you, make some dates with yourself and put them on your calendar. Buy yourself something nice from The JOYFullProductivity Store (or others), take yourself out for lunch or dinner (even if it means eating alone – I bring a book), take a trip somewhere with just yourself — I like to schedule CEO retreats in my travel trailer at the local lakeside campground). Do whatever makes you feel happy and relaxed. It doesn’t have to cost much—sometimes, the best treats are found for free! Go for a walk in nature, listen to your favorite music playlist, read a book—whatever floats your boat! Tip 6: Get Rid of Toxic People & Surround Yourself with Support As female entrepreneurs, this can be extra hard sometimes because we have been trained to be selfless and put everyone else’s needs before our own. SCREW THAT! You need love and support too. That’s why you must surround yourself with positive people who encourage you instead of tearing you down. Don’t waste your energy on negative people; instead, focus on building relationships with those who lift you up and support your dreams! This is the community you will find when joining The JOYFull BadAPP! BadAss Nation has your back! Creating a self-love system doesn’t happen overnight – it takes practice and patience! But if you’re willing to put in the work and make changes where needed, you can learn to fall back in love with yourself again (or maybe even for the first time!). Remember – no one else can love you as much as you could love yourself, so start showing yourself the same level of compassion that you would show your closest friends! You can create a more meaningful self-love system with coaching, resources, and support from The JOYFull BadAPP! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Janifer! Janifer Wheeler, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine After retiring from teaching, Janifer Wheeler realized she had a bigger calling. She now brings her 20+ years of experience in education to the production industry to help entrepreneurs and teams find the proverbial work-life balance by following her JOYfully method. She’s also founded The JOYFully BadAss Academy, where they teach people how not only to do more but enjoy every minute of their workday — without taking any excuses or guilt home with them either (we know what it’s like). Give me 30 days, and you won’t regret it! Click here to learn more.

Written by: Jessica Karl Rice, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Leadership plays a crucial role in shaping the growth and development of teams. Leaders are responsible for creating a positive work environment, setting goals and direction for the team, and providing guidance and support to their team members – a responsibility that emerging and experienced leaders can often find challenging. One of the most significant challenges leaders face is "leadership bias." It is easy for leaders to fall into the subtle trap of leadership bias, where they miss opportunities for team growth by not asking the right questions, making assumptions, and basing employee growth on their own experience. Leadership bias can devastate team effectiveness, talent retention, and efficiency. What is Leadership Bias? Leadership bias refers to the tendency of leaders to make decisions based on their preferences and prejudices. Leaders may pay more attention to the strengths and potential of their team members and prevent them from tapping into the full potential of their team. Impact of Leadership Bias on Team Growth Leadership bias can significantly impact the growth and development of teams. For example, if a leader discriminates against a particular personality type, they may not provide opportunities for those individuals to contribute and grow within the group. Other biases can include underestimating an individual's growth potential, ability to handle specific tasks, or even trying to protect them from too much work, which can result in missed opportunities for the team to improve and progress, creating a hostile work environment for the individual who feels excluded. How to Overcome Leadership Bias To overcome leadership bias and create a positive work environment for your team, take on a coaching leadership style (CLS) and ask the right questions. CLS benefits groups and individuals by focusing on human potential and aligning with the company's shared vision. While CLS is one of the 12 leadership styles, it is one of the most challenging. By asking open-ended questions and actively seeking input from your team members, you can gain a deeper understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, and potential. Additionally, by encouraging honest feedback and dialogue, you can create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Examples of questions to ask your team include the following: What do you feel are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? What do you enjoy doing the most in your role? What can we do to improve as a team? What do we need to do to reach our goals? Simply by asking questions, leaders can begin to understand their team's ambitions, unique talents, and abilities to perform in certain areas. Rather than presuming to know how someone may perform, leaders now have the opportunity to mold, encourage, and participate in the growth of their team in a completely individualized way. How to Embrace and Deepen Your Understanding of Various Strengths The concept of embracing individual strengths is familiar but should be capitalized on for maximum results. The StrengthsFinder Assessment has been helping individuals and teams alike to identify and develop strengths for over two decades. Capitalizing on an individual's strengths produces trusting teams, where they are seen for who they are and the talents they bring to the team. Learn about the Four Domains of Strengths to understand the breakdowns of where specific strengths reside. "Embracing individual strengths is the foundation for building successful teams. When each team member is allowed to play to their unique strengths, the team will perform at its highest level." ‒ Tom Rath, author of "StrengthsFinder 2.0" and the founder of the Clifton Strengths assessment. New assessments are rising in recognition, such as the Principles You Assessment ‒ a psychology-based assessment on strengths and organizational focus, and PositiveIntelligence Saboteur Assessment ‒ a psychology-based assessment to bring awareness around a person's inner blockers (saboteurs) and sages (wisdom) to break through self-limiting barriers. These assessments further the notion that each team member contributes uniquely to their work and environment. They help individuals understand how to leverage their natural talents and strengthen their mental muscles in areas where they need growth. Conclusion Leadership bias can significantly impact the growth and development of teams. Overcome this bias and create a positive work environment for your team by asking the right questions, embodying a coaching mindset, and actively seeking input from your team members. By doing so, you can gain a deeper understanding of their strengths and potential and create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Additionally, by embracing and deepening your understanding of individual strengths, you can develop trusting teams that are allowed to play to their unique talents. Ultimately, this will lead to improved performance and outcomes for the entire organization. The task of overcoming leadership bias is certainly a large one, but it can be done with effort, dedication, and the right tools. By following these steps, your team can foster a culture of growth and development that benefits everyone. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Youtube, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Jessica! Jessica Karl Rice, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jessica Rice is a coach, strategist, and entrepreneur who works with leaders, creatives, and business owners. After going through a series of life threatening experiences, she learned how to overcome obstacles and empower herself to push beyond the fear to discovering her life passion and purpose. She is dedicated to helping others push beyond the boundaries and explore their calling. Her online Vision Creators Community focuses on empowering women to rise up and pursue their dreams. Owner of Rowan and Hazel Coaching, providing executive vision and transformation coaching and brand strategy services, and Rowan and Hazel Co., a women's empowerment brand. You can reach her at: jessica@rowanandhazel.com

Dr Pamela Stoodley is a polymath with her range of specialities in being a general physician, child and adolescent psychologist, neuropsychologist, counsellor in addictions psychology and a nutritionist. Dr Stoodley's first book 'Cracking the Happiness Code' teaches people the way our minds work and how best to use it to our advantage. Her life's mission is to show people how they can break the myth of a hard wired brain and leap forward into the world of neuroplasticity for their own mental (health) agility. Her wish is to be able to empower every human on this planet ‒ from toddlers to retirees, the weapon of Mastering our Minds. Dr Pamela Stoodley, Neurotransformative Coach Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. I'm extremely passionate about the brain and by extension, the mind. By association, it also lends a curiosity into how the mind can simultaneously be creative and logical, rational and at times irrational. The obvious subject of my passionate study began with myself. I love all forms of art and I consider music and dance my source of life! Growing up I was into all kinds of sports and experimented with all art forms, from theatre and dance to singing and poetry. With my study in neuroscience, I learnt that the left brain ‒ right brain myth aided in the unchangeable attitude humans had. But because I was also able to access the hidden potentials of the mind, I can safely say that where I am today is what I wish to teach all those who want to tap into their mental strengths and master their minds. I currently live in Wellington, New Zealand ‒ with my lovely husband Luke, and three-year-old son Joshua and soon to join our family of three is our second on the way. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? My business Pamela Stoodley Limited encompasses a range of different services governed by a single mission – that being to help clients Master their Minds. I am a Mental Agility coach which means my focus is to teach you how your mind works, how you can experience your emotions and the best way to get yourself out of a stuck phase in life. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? I see people from all walks of life, who come to me with a variety of issues. However, on diving deep, most of their collective issues usually have some foundational similarities – those who feel stuck and cannot make any progress, those who are struggling to turn their lives around by either stopping or starting something and some who are struggling to understand their children. The groundwork for all starts with understanding their mind and we then go from there. You appear to have a varied background in science, can you shed some light on that? Sure. I initially started as a general practitioner with the everyday medical diagnoses of patients who came to see me. When I came to New Zealand, I entered the field of psychology specialising in Alcohol and other drug Addiction studies and this opened up a whole new world of the workings of the human mind from a very different perspective. I then decided that I needed to start from scratch, studying the very psychology of infants and children and simultaneously diving into the world of nutrition. The clinical child and adolescent psychology got me hooked and that paved the path for my entry into the world of neuroscience, where I specialised in Behavioural and Cognitive Neurology. I began my journey with yoga and meditation about twenty years ago and so I am currently studying the effects of meditation in neuroscience – or what is otherwise called Neuromeditation. Why have I done this? I believe the various fields I have plunged myself into have given me an intensive all-round understanding of the human mind which if one were to just concentrate on any single field, one would be grossly limiting themselves to. What is some advice you offer your clients that you practice and believe in? Oh, there are plenty! I strongly believe in practising what I preach. If I were to narrow it down to just a few they would be Learn about your mind and how to regulate your emotions in a healthy way Get sufficient sleep Pay attention to your gut health Be more self-aware than living in the past or present Move your body as much as you can – in any way you can Reduce your time consuming non benefiting media and spend time outdoors Be kind and compassionate with yourself Be very attentive to the language of your self-talk I know for those reading this, it would seem like this is already all well known, the struggle is either getting started, staying consistent and/or not giving up. This is where I step in to help. You recently authored Cracking the Happiness Code – can you tell us about it? So I wrote the book with a view that it can be used as a tool rather than a 'read it once and shelf it'. The chapters are short keeping in mind the average human attention span. Although it is scientifically backed, I have made a very conscious effort to speak in simple layman's language because I want people to understand their minds in a simple, not-so-daunting way that encourages them to take appropriate action where required. The first half of the book focuses on the various reasons 'happiness' evades people. As a side note, I first go into the very usage of the term happiness – what it means to different people and how it can be replaced with any word that resonates with that emotion to get the point across. Anyway, I call the first half of the book, the WHY and more often than not people will find more than one reason that resonates with them. The second half of the book is called the HOW. This part focuses on how people can go about achieving that default state of blissfulness, once they've figured out their WHY/s. My aim with this book other than the obvious is to also break the myth that people either believe or use in their defence, that the brain is hard-wired to be what it is and therefore they 'are what they are'. This is not the case! What keeps you ticking forward successfully? I'm just passionate about what I do. I know this because when I do something half-heartedly, the result is mediocre (by my definition anyway). When I consciously choose to do something, I am all in and then irrespective of the outcome, I succeed. What I mean by this is that I have fun with the process, and I go in with a hungry and curious mind – no judgment, bias or preconceived notion about the matter. At the end of it, irrespective of the result – I am always ten steps ahead of where I started and wiser than when I began that journey – that to me is a success. This is one aspect of my life that I always share with my clients. The point I constantly drive home is that they need to be willing to make any change, and if they are, they can unleash the power of their mind and watch the magic unfold. Instead of making a mental note of their failures, I ask them to make a note of all their learnings – irrespective of the outcome. How do you overcome situations when things don't go your way? This is something I get typically asked to help clients with too! So in 2017, I was preparing for my wedding amidst other things. All my bridesmaids were set to arrive from overseas and that meant arrangements were all via online chat. And so was my wedding dress! I received mine in the mail and as soon as I opened the package I had a sinking feeling that it was no good! It wasn't the right colour or fabric, the design was far from the image I shared and the fit was simply inexplicable. I was shocked and disappointed and immediately texted my friend lamenting about the tragedy. I remember, exactly ten minutes later, she asked, "So now what?!" and my response was, "well back to the drawing board it is!" That is how I am generally with everything. Sadness, disappointments and failures befall us all. Do what you have to experience the emotion that arises within you. And then, move on to the next action. Some people cannot come out of that stuck emotion and that often takes them down a path of dread. Mental agility is a real thing and it will help you in many ways than one. What is the best moment of your life? This! My interview with you! Every other moment is a memory and future ones are my dreams! Every beautiful moment I have had is now a wonderful memory I cherish. But any moment is only a moment you experience in the NOW. I relish everything I do and experience and that for me rarely leads to regrets or catastrophising. Why is practising self-awareness so hard? Awareness itself isn't hard. The fact that we are aware of the danger or threats we face, shows that we can bring ourselves to be in a state of alertness without any hesitation ‒ when every other time we find it hard or are simply unaware. And why we are this way has a lot to do with what we value, believe in and create a mindset about. We unconsciously wear multiple filters from the moment we wake up to the moment we retire to bed we fail to see that we function on autopilot. But some drawbacks of this autopilot state give rise to challenges like breaking habits or changing behaviours, conflicts based on how our mind interprets situations and people and above all, how we react instantaneously instead of responding. Awareness is a state of being rather than a habit that requires practising. What 5 books would you recommend? Oh my, that's a tough one! Sticking with my genre I'd say How to Think by Alan Jacobs, Atomic Habits by James Clear, The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté, Ikigai by Hector and Francesc and The School of Life by Alain De Botton. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? I want to spread as much awareness and education as possible, so each human can then do their bit and spread the same to the next one. We have so many versions of mental illnesses, struggles and diseases of the mind that while some feel there is something wrong and needs to be worked on, others feel this is how they are carrying on with their struggles, only to make their suffering more comfortable. You are only able to help or fix what you see as a problem and that usually is the issue. The denial effect is a silent killer and often goes unnoticed unless examined. Lastly, any two tips that you feel would make an instantaneous difference if people were to start it from today? Absolutely! One, I'd say is as soon as you're up, get some sunlight! Before 8 am step outside and look in the general direction of the sun (not directly) and if you're up before the sun is, then switch on the lights at home to allow exposure to your eyes. Of course, between 8 am and 4 pm, use sunscreen. If I had to further expand on this tip, it would be to explain the function of melatonin and how crucial a role it plays in one's sleep cycle and its relationship with hormones like cortisol. So as a corollary to this tip, in the evening (if your job doesn't entail working night shifts), lower the lights and minimise exposure of any wavelength of light to the eyes – this also includes blue light from all devices. My second tip would be to consciously look for what you want and not for what you think! People who often go about thinking, 'Today is not going to be a good day' or 'That's it! I'm never going to be successful in life' ‒ inadvertently train their brain to only look for those aspects that will cater to making those thoughts a reality! This is because the brain doesn't understand the concept of negative thinking. The eyes only see what the mind knows so feed your mind well. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr Pamela!

Written by: Sue Plumtree, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I’m sure we’ve all heard about the self-fulfilling prophecy but you might not be clear about what this is exactly or how it works. Self-fulfilling prophecies work both ways; it can support or hinder you through your expectations about the outcome of things you may want. If you believe that you will get what you want, you’re more likely to go for it, to do what it takes to get you there. If, on the other hand, you think what you want is way out of your reach you’re likely to think, “why bother? It’s never going to happen.” That can refer to anything, from approaching someone you’d like to meet, to going for a promotion, a job you’d love that’s just been advertised or it could refer to meeting the right partner for you. I’ve been talking to hundreds of people about relationships, their bitter experiences, their current lives and current relationships. I often feel heartbroken to hear them, especially when it’s so clear that they believe they will never have a fulfilling life or a loving relationship or caring and supportive friends. And so, they often don’t even try or, if they do try, they do it half-heartedly and then tell themselves, “See? I knew it wouldn’t work!” The root problem is a lack of self-love. These people don’t love themselves; worse, they believe they don’t deserve to be loved. And, as a result, they withhold their own love, they don’t reach out, they don’t do kind gestures and then they wonder why their life is so empty. Sometimes they look for somebody to complete them, to prod them to do something or stop doing something they know is not good for them instead of starting it or stopping it for themselves. Self-love is the foundation, the absolute core of a happy and fulfilling life, of strong and loving relationships, and even of satisfying jobs and careers. It is my mission to enable people to love themselves. To that end on 6 April, I’m launching my love bootcamp called ‘How to Love Yourself so You Can Love and Be Loved’. I’m only accepting 8 people maximum so I can give you the individual attention you deserve. If you want to know more, please email me here or text me on 07903 795027. I look forward to hearing from you. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sue! Sue Plumtree, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sue’s passion is to enable people to build strong and loving relationships. Her third book, ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 Secrets Of Strong And Loving Relationships’, is getting 5* reviews on Amazon. Sue was unhappily married for 37 years when she finally left aged 60. Over the following 10 years, she built a successful coaching practice working with people over 50, wrote her autobiography, and built solid friendships. In December 2015, aged 70, she met Dave, her best friend, lover, soulmate, and now her husband. As a prolific writer and regular blogger, Sue shares her painfully acquired wisdom about what works and doesn’t work in a relationship, as well as how it affects our emotional, and mental health and wellbeing. She also loves writing about how to build strong, loving, and long-lasting relationships both from personal experience as well as research articles and longitudinal studies. Sue is a personal relationship coach, trainer, facilitator, and published author.

Written by: Tuesday P. Brooks, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Goals are seriously overlooked when it comes to business. When you think about the profitability of your small business, you probably wonder if you’re undercharging for your products or incurring too many overhead costs. But do you spend much time at all – if any – contemplating your business goals and the critical role they play in your company’s profitability? If your answer to that question is no, it’s definitely time to do so. Setting business goals will help you stay on track so your company can achieve profitability. Read on to learn more. Why Do Business Goals Matter? We set New Year’s resolutions and then promptly break them. But business goals are different. If we set them up right, they guide us, motivate us, and prevent us from going in circles. They increase our accountability and keep our business moving in the right direction. Poor strategies (or lacking them altogether) are one major reason businesses fail. It’s essential to put thoughtful goals, strategies, objectives, and action steps in place and then pursue them with passion and determination. You’re probably aware that goals can be short-, mid-, or long-term in length. When it comes to business goals, they’re generally categorized as financial, performance, or a blend of both. (Even when they fall into a distinct category, note that they’ll likely still be interconnected.) No matter the classification, it’s crucial that they are SMART. What does this mean, and why does it matter? SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. Pay attention to this acronym as you set your business goals. If you ignore it, you’ll likely end up with goals that are too broad, too ambiguous, and too ambitious. And without deadlines, there’s a good chance you’ll never fully commit and see them through. SMB Owners Must Set Annual Goals To build a profitable business, you should set goals annually. But don’t stop there. Turn these goals into quarterly objectives, and from there, into monthly, weekly, and daily actions (also known as tactics). You’ve probably heard it before, and I’ll say it again: breaking down large goals into smaller, more manageable pieces will make them much less intimidating. Shorter-term action steps will help you get closer to your overall goals. A Simple 3-Step Process to Achieve Your Business Goals Here is how you can put this into practice in real life. Let’s say you decide that your annual financial goal is to earn $150k by December 31st. The first step is to break this big goal into easier-to-manage quarterly objectives. When you do this, account for the seasonality of your business in your quarterly sales targets and projections. Next, with these projections in mind, design your marketing strategy so you can meet your quarterly objectives. For example, you might focus on marketing and publicity during slower months and concentrate on closing deals during the months you anticipate higher sales. Finally, turn these (connecting) strategies into monthly, weekly, and daily action steps. Make these tactics actionable and specific so you can successfully track your progress and adjust as needed. Here’s an example: Annual Goal ‒ Increase sales to $150k by December 31st of this year. (1st Quarter: $25k; 2nd Quarter: $50k; 3rd Quarter: $50k; 4th Quarter: $25k) 1st Quarter Objective ‒ Achieve $25,000 in sales by selling 10 clients the $2,500 service package. 1st Quarter Connecting Strategies ‒ Upsell: Increase how much our current clients spend with us. Generate awareness of additional service offerings. Offer a discounted rate on the premium package (e.g. $2,500 - down from $4,000). 1st Quarter Tactics (broken down into weekly/daily tactics) ‒ All three team members (or one if it’s just you) will seek to book up to 15 clients each on their calendar over a 12-week period to discuss the benefits of the premium package (at a temporarily reduced price). Each of the team members should contact 10 - 15 clients to offer this special incentive. The objective is to each close five deals at $2,500 each to reach or exceed the $25k goal for the quarter. Make five phone calls per day; send follow-up emails; text clients who respond better via text. Send an invitation for a client appreciation lunch & learn, etc. Repeat this process each quarter with different connecting strategies, such as: Events (host event, partnering in events, speaking, workshops...) Loyalty campaigns (love campaigns, milestone celebrations, thank you’s...) Media (pitch articles, publicity, expert positioning...) Online campaigns (online courses, newsletter, customer reviews drive, podcast, v/blog, website listings, social media plan, go live...) Partnerships (cross referrals, sponsors, cross selling...) Special deals (limited time offer, buy x get x, launch a contest, VIP offer...) While it will take some time and effort, this process is more than doable. The main requirement is to establish annual goals for your business and then build a plan around them. Follow the three steps above and be consistent. And the next time you find yourself worrying about the profitability of your small business, shift your thoughts to goal-setting. Before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to achieving all you can imagine and more. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tuesday! Tuesday P. Brooks, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tuesday P. Brooks, MBA is a business owner, educator, trusted tax & accounting advisor, and fierce champion of small business. Unwaveringly devoted to financial fluency Tuesday’s mission is to accelerate the profitability of financially-sound, women-led companies that employ across the U.S. As such, she works tirelessly helping women founders gain the confidence to take a leap of faith towards growth so they can tap further into their joy of business ownership more easily.

Written by: Mireia Lopez, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Becoming a mum doesn’t come with instructions, and this is positive and negative at the same time. It is hard, because we need to constantly figure out how to do things, make important decisions, and learn about our kids. But it is positive because it allows us to learn, grow, develop skills we never had before, create a beautiful connection with our children, love unconditionally, and become a better person. These are the 6 things that can help you be that better person: 1. Perfection doesn’t exist Whether you are happy or not in life, it’s all down to EXPECTATIONS. Whatever you expect from life compared to what you actually get from life will result in either positive or negative feelings. Do we want to feel sad or angry? Not really, but it’s part of life, and we should accept it because negative emotions are important too. We can’t really control how we feel about things, but we can work on how long that emotion will last. If you change your expectations and accept that PERFECT is just not a thing, you will definitely feel better because everything will be more achievable so you will avoid stress and frustration. How do you change your expectations? With acceptance: Accept that things don’t need to be perfect in order to be done. Done is enough most of the time. You can always improve it once it’s done. Accept that, in order to achieve something, you also have to sacrifice something else. We can’t have it all at the same time. Set priorities and get started. One thing at a time. 2. They learn from their own mistakes more than from all the “I told you so” We all learn from our own experiences, specially children as they haven’t had many first experiences yet. Once we do something, we can learn for the next time, but having someone telling us constantly “don’t do this”, “don’t do that” doesn’t really work. It just makes us feel useless and it pushes our self-esteem and confidence right down to the ground. I know it is hard to watch our kids fail or make mistakes, especially when we see them coming, but it is the ONLY way they are really going to learn. Our job is to keep them safe but we need to push those safety boundaries a bit so there is room for falling, failing, and making mistakes. It’s the biggest gift we can give our children! 3. Unconditional love is showing how much you care when they are at their worst Children test our unconditional love on a daily basis (or on a minute basis I would say). Loving them and showing our love when they are cheerful and happy is so easy and rewarding, but showing how much we care for them and that we still love them even when they are throwing a tantrum, shouting at us, or hitting their siblings… (which is, believe it or not, when they need us the most!) that’s not so easy. Learning to regulate our own emotions when we feel angry or frustrated is something we learn as we grow up with more experiences and better communication skills. Children will naturally struggle with self-regulation, and it is our job as parents to help them throughout this journey. Showing up and letting them know we are here for them and we love them and support them when they are dysregulated is so powerful and it will definitely pay off with their love, trust, and self-esteem as they grow older. And this brings us directly to the next point: self-care! 4. I can’t help them unless I help myself first We can only help others if we are ok in the first place, but mum's guilt doesn’t help! Who hasn’t felt that at least once probably every day? It doesn’t matter what we do, we will always manage to find a reason to feel guilty about. It’s like a built-in feature we get the day our first baby is born. Well, I am here to tell you that mum-guilt is a good thing, so we look after our children no matter what. It brings us back to the right track, so they are looked after, but we need to remember (back to expectations) that we were humans before we were mums! And if this human isn’t in a good place, who will be? When we look after ourselves, we are directly taking care of our children just by doing so. We are role models, children learn from us from what we do, what they see, what we show, not so much from what we tell them to do. We can ask them to be kind but, if we are not kind ourselves, they won’t be either. Do you want your kids to prioritise themselves? To be strong, capable, resilient, and confident? Then you need to be that person too so they can see it with their own eyes, it’s the only way. And you can only get there if you look after yourself. Finding time to do what makes you happy (even on your own) is an investment in your children’s happiness too. 5. They don’t always need to do what you say just because you say so Back to perfectionism and us wanting to do it all, avoid mistakes, get things done quickly and efficiently and not letting them express their own voice because we know ours is better. But why? Just because we have an idea, or we had an experience, or we do things always the same way doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the right way to do it. Our kids are not us. They are a separate person with their own opinions, their own voice, their own struggles, and their own success. We need to respect and support this by providing a space for self-expression. If they are watching TV and you ask them to sit down and they refuse, why do they actually need to sit down? If you bring them for a walk and they keep jumping on puddles, but you won’t let them, why are they not allowed? They will get dirty, yes, but clothes can go in the washing machine. Their need for movement, exploring, and having fun needs to be fulfilled so maybe you could negotiate something in between: “Maybe not today as we are just walking because we are going to see granny later, but how about we pack our wellies and waterproof jackets on Saturday and go to the forest to jump on all the puddles?” You are not ignoring their need and they won’t ignore yours. 6. Negotiating consequences isn’t losing the battle, it’s respecting their own rights As the previous example shows, when we negotiate consequences with our children we are not losing the battle by letting them decide wild and free, we are simply treating them as unique human beings with their own ideas, thoughts, emotions and opinions. We can (and should) set limits that are flexible so there is room for negotiation and everyone is happy. Everything children do, will have a consequence, whether it is positive or negative. We can talk to them about those consequences when we are setting up limits, timings, activities, and boundaries. If we practice this, it will become more natural and, as children feel like we respect them, they will also cooperate more. For example, if they don’t want to get dressed in the morning you can ask them if they want to go to school in their pyjamas or in their uniform, it’s totally their choice. They can also choose between getting to school on time, or being late and walking in when everyone is already inside. You are giving them a choice with natural consequences, and they will learn that things need to be done to avoid negative consequences in life, not just because you said so. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Mireia! Mireia Lopez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Mireia Lopez is qualified as a Primary school teacher with a Masters in Psychology. She is the founder and director of Discovery Playtime and mum to two children who inspired her to start her business. She is passionate about play and child development and promotes the power of play so parents and educators can understand the impact that play has in the development of skills during childhood. To create better generations and more independent and confident adults we need to start by improving the way children play and interact with the world.

Written by: Lisa Sonni, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you ever wondered why someone who is being abused would ever stay in the relationship? This can often be attributed to a phenomenon called a trauma bond. A trauma bond is an emotional connection formed between a victim and abuser, where the victim is subjected to intermittent positive reinforcement mixed with abuse. It makes the victim psychologically addicted to their abuser. This type of connection can be incredibly hard to break, as it causes the victim to become strongly attached to someone who continues to hurt them. Let’s explore what trauma bonds look like and how they form, as well as how survivors of abuse can break free from these bonds. How Trauma Bonds Form There are 7 stages of a trauma bond: love bombing, trust and dependency, devaluation, gaslighting, control, loss of self, and finally, addiction. Trauma bonds are incredibly powerful because they cause victims to stay in abusive relationships even when they know they should leave or when their lives are literally at risk. Victims stay because they are holding onto hope that one day things will get better—that their abuser will actually follow through on those promises of change. Victims also become vulnerable to manipulation because they are willing to tolerate unacceptable behavior for the payoff—the intangible hope for fulfillment that never seems to come true. Trauma bonds require four necessary components that need to be present in order for them to form—intensity, unpredictability, complexity, and a promise. An intense emotional bond forms between the abuser and their victim because the abuser frequently shifts from being abusive one moment to kind or loving the next. This unpredictability keeps victims hanging on for more of the positive reinforcement that follows an act of kindness or love. The complexity comes from the fact that abusers have often groomed their victims over time—making it difficult for victims to understand why they are still in such a destructive relationship after all this time. Finally, abusers often make promises of change or improvement in order to keep their victims emotionally invested in them. How To Tell If You Are In a Trauma Bond The first step towards breaking free from a trauma bond is recognizing if you’re in one in the first place. There are several tell-tale signs that you might be stuck in a trauma bond with your abuser including but not limited to: low self-esteem; feeling powerless; feeling like you can’t live without your partner; feeling like you deserve punishment; feeling like you’re walking on eggshells; fear of abandonment; fear of speaking up or standing up for yourself; difficulty trusting yourself and others; difficulty making decisions on your own; and blaming yourself every time something goes wrong. If any of these sound familiar, then there is a good chance you have been stuck in an unhealthy cycle with your abuser long enough for it to turn into a trauma bond. Breaking Free From Trauma Bonds Once you recognize what is happening within your relationship dynamics, it’s important that you take steps toward breaking free from this cycle. The first thing you need to do is get clarity by educating yourself on what is happening in your relationship and identifying the abuse tactics being used on you. Next, learn about yourself and what got you here. Learn to set boundaries around what kind of behavior is acceptable and unacceptable within your relationship. Lastly, practice self-care by surrounding yourself with supportive people who can provide guidance and comfort during this difficult time. Seek professional help if needed—there are plenty of mental health professionals out there who specialize in helping survivors recover from traumatic experiences such as toxic relationships or trauma bonds and can provide invaluable insight into how best to move forward with your life without being weighed down by your past experiences anymore. It can be incredibly difficult breaking free from toxic relationships or trauma bonds but it is essential if you want to avoid further damage down the line both mentally and physically. Hopefully now armed with an understanding of how these bonds form and what steps need taking towards breaking free from them, survivors will feel empowered enough to start taking control back over their lives once again! Remember no matter how hard things may seem to be taken day – tomorrow will always bring something new. So take heart & begin taking back control over your life today. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube and visit my website for more info! Read more from Lisa! Lisa Sonni, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Lisa Sonni is a survivor of domestic assault and narcissistic abuse, and her first hand experience led her to where she is today ‒ a certified Relationship Coach specializing in abuse education and trauma bond recovery. She helps clients from all walks of life overcome challenges stemming from traumatic partnerships. She is the author of the Trauma Bond Recovery Course, The Trauma Bond Recovery Journal, and Rebuilding After A Trauma Bond: A Self-Love Journal, as well as a popular content creator known as Stronger Than Before across all social media platforms.

Written by: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D., Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. How do limiting beliefs and words become a nemesis? Hearing limiting beliefs and words start as early as one-year-old and progressively evolves and reshapes the perceptions we carry throughout life. Whether you’ve had painful experiences that caused you to fear similar encounters or are scared of what’s to come, limiting beliefs and words can prevent positive new beliefs from entering into your consciousness. Knowing the cause of your limiting beliefs and words is the way to understand the thought process behind them and begin the process of changing from limiting beliefs and words to empowered beliefs and words. You can learn easy to use strategies that are highly effective to overcome using limiting beliefs and words. Many Limiting Beliefs are common expressions that are spoken in many settings, conversations, languages and cultures. I’m not good enough: “I’m not good enough to…fill in the blank.” I’m too old or too young: “I’m too young to be…fill in the blank.” I don’t have enough time: “I don’t have enough time to invest in myself or…fill in the blank.” I’m not smart enough: “I’m not smart enough to…fill in the blank.” I don’t have enough experience: “I don’t have enough experience to…fill in the blank.” I’ll never be successful: “I’ll never be successful in my industry.” I don’t have enough money: “I don’t have enough money to…fill in the blank.” I’ll never be one of the best: “I’ll never be one of the best on the team.” I’m not talented enough: “I’m not talented enough to get a promotion.” I’ll never be a great leader: “I’ll never be a great leader with my lack of confidence or experience–fill in the blank.” Limiting Words are common expressions since we became aware of the does and don’ts in the family, education, religion, community and society How to eliminate limiting beliefs or words You can eliminate limiting beliefs and words with a step-by-step process. Eliminate limiting beliefs. Taking the first step to Eliminate Limiting Beliefs or Words might seem daunting. Remember what you think becomes a belief and beliefs become your life. Instead of thinking of it as daunting, think of it as your getout of jail card. Getting out of jail card is easier to do than you allow yourself to think. The first step and the most important step is to notice (be aware) when you use a limiting belief or word. “Awareness in itself is healing.” ‒ Frederick Perls The next step is to decide one limiting belief or one word you will change. Avoid taking more than one belief or word to eliminate. Take one belief or word and list at least 3-4 things/reasons that you oppose it. Answer these questions: “I can’t do this because…fill in the blank” “I don’t think this would work because …fill in the blank.” “For other people it might work, but in my case …fill in the blank “ “This hasn’t worked in the past and will not work now because …fill in the blank “ The final step is to choose only one limiting belief or word with supporting ones. Write them in a column…for example: I can’t do it because…fill in the blank. Evaluate if your ‘reason’ is valid. And guaranteed it isn’t valid. How do I know, I know because human psyches are imbued to create versus limiting themselves. Remember how a child learned to walk. In the beginning you took one or two steps and either fell or sat down. However, after falling you got up and did it again and again until you walked steadily. Some people refer to this process as affirmations of choosing a belief or word and restating it with an empowering belief or word. However, when you approach the process with a structured format your efforts supercede affirmations. An affirmation is an action or process of affirming something or being affirmed. For example, “I am happy.” Saying it a million times fails to address the reason you are unhappy. Using step two gives you the ‘awareness’ of what is blocking you from choosing to be happy. Happiness or unhappiness is a ‘decision’ not a law or rule. Abraham Lincoln stated, more than 150 years ago, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” It’s as true today as when he first said it. The process of changing a limiting belief or word takes 30 to 40 days of concentrated effort. Listen to your thoughts, listen to the words you speak. When you hear yourself think or say a limiting belief or word that you chose to correct, STOP and rephrase your thought or statement. Even if you are speaking to someone and you say a limiting belief or word, self-correct. You can say, “I’ll say it another way.” Make your statement with an empowering belief or word. When you self-correct you will notice people pay more attention to your statements. The reason they pay more attention is because they notice you pay close attention to how you speak. Win/Win. Not only are you improving your life, you are demonstrating (without saying anything) how others can improve their life. Repeat this pattern of choosing a Limiting Belief or Word to change to an Empowered Belief or Word. Choosing a positive perspective to look at challenges will train your mind to look for the positive perspective in everyday situations rather than a negative perspective. Lastly, avoid giving up when you use a limiting belief or word. Remember: Everyone defaults to limiting beliefs and words, because we hear them with many people, TV, commercials, including leaders and entrepreneurs you admire. The most important thing is to persevere through the limiting beliefs and words and not allow a momentary slip to hinder you. Among the many qualities of humans, avoiding giving up on yourself or others is a virtue. Though you might be discouraged when you notice you used a Limiting Belief or Word, push limiting thoughts about yourself away by taking a moment to regroup. Sometimes all you need to do is to take a deep breath to set yourself back on track. Remember: You are worth it because you are you. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dorothy! Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D., Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, Ph.D. is a successful influencer in the public and private sectors, as a consultant, coach, and keynote speaker. She has 30 plus years of global experience in leadership development, behavioral change, and enhancing human potential ‒ i.e. you can achieve more than you think. Dr. Dorothy is passionate about developing great leaders. She works with senior and emerging executives to amplify their leadership skills and drive viable/sustainable organizations with relevant, adaptable, centered, and authentic skills. Her areas of expertise are: Leadership/Sales Development Behavioral Change Business Strategy Communication Skills Diversity Coaching C-Suite, Senior, and High Potential

Written by: Myrto Mangrioti, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Are you at a point in your life where you've realised how much you're in need of decluttering? You find yourself constantly thinking of messy, broken or incomplete stuff around you. You know it's distracting, and it's time to do something about it. Feeling overwhelmed? Guilty for procrastinating? There's a chance you're postponing getting the job done because it feels like too much work, and you have no idea where to begin. This creates more stress, overwhelm, irritation and maybe self-doubt. But when there's a will, there's a way. Here's how you can make it happen. All you need is a system… plus time and some consistency! Step 1: Write everything down Look into every area of your life and think of anything that is bothering you, needs fixing, decluttering, etc. What do you need to repair, file, rearrange, sell, give, donate or throw away? Here's a list to help you get going: Home: All rooms, closets, kitchen (refrigerator, expired food, utensils), attic, garage, storage room, home office Car: repairs, cleaning Finances: tax records, bills, filing Computer: emails, filing system, cancelling subscriptions, backup Relationships: toxic, to repair Social: Social Media. Anything that no longer serves you. Use the rule: "Unfollow-Unfriend-Delete". Go through the list and write everything down. No matter how big or small or difficult the thing is, write it down. And don't worry if the list is big! You'll get to it with the next steps. Just having everything on paper will create space in your mind. Step 2: Go through the list and rate them 1: Easy - 2: Harder - 3: Very Hard Easy: are things that can be done in under 15 minutes - like changing a light bulb or calling the plumber Harder: are things that need time to be done - like decluttering your closets or your home office Very Hard: are things that you'd rather not do but know you should - like creating a monthly budget or organising your emails This will create 3 separate lists. Step 3: Delegate Go through the lists and decide what you're doing yourself and what you can delegate. Remember, it's ok to ask for help. It could be someone who's an expert for the job (like an electrician), someone who'll enjoy doing the task more than you, or just someone who loves you and wants to help! Write the person's name next to the To-Do List item and by when you will call/ask them. For the remaining ones: Step 4: Do the easy ones first In your calendar, put all the easy items of your list in specific time slots. Don't put more than you can handle. Spread them over time. Doing these first will give you momentum and the satisfaction of crossing things off your list! Step 5: The harder ones Figure out a plan on how you're gonna tackle each one. Maybe it's a repeat step daily for 15 minutes over a period of time. Or it could be a sequence of steps. Write down your why: Why do you want this thing done? Why do you need it "fixed"? This will help you stay on track when you feel like not doing it. Prioritise and put them again, on your calendar: starting date how long you're gonna spend on it every time by when you want to have finished Spread them over time, and make sure to give yourself enough time to complete them. Start with the most important one. Think of this process as setting goals and creating an action plan to achieve them. Here’s an idea: If you think the process I’m describing is too hard, too tedious or too time-consuming to do, maybe put it in this list and START with it FIRST! So that your first To-Do item will be to create this plan! Step 6: The very hard ones You want to do step five for these ones too, but also maybe add the following: Think of ways to make it more fun Think outside the box. Is there another way to do it? Plan to reward yourself when you complete it. Buy a specific gift for yourself or treat yourself. Step 7: Forget about them If you did the previous steps, you now have a calendar or a To-Do list filled with dates and specific times in the future, of all the messes and incompletes in your life. Congratulations! This means you can now forget about them until it's time for you to tackle them, according to what you have written down in your calendar. And that's how it's done! Getting all messes and incompletes done creates space and time in your life, to work on your goals and what really matters to you. It creates peace of mind and boosts self-confidence. Most importantly, every "done" tick on your To-Do list creates a sense of accomplishment, relief and freedom. Can you relate? That's why I'm such a huge fan of checklists! I've even created a FREE "Fun To-Do List Templates" pdf you can use to put everything down on paper, plan and organise in a playful way. Get started today. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Myrto! Myrto Mangrioti, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Myrto Mangrioti believes life is a learning playground that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Struggling with her "good girl" attitude all her life, she found peace by embracing it. That’s when she founded Loving Living to pursue her passion for helping people awaken to their true selves, enjoying their lives to the fullest by living in the present moment. Myrto is a certified Deep Coach, a Canfield Success Principles & Methodology Certified Trainer, and a No.1 International Best-Selling Amazon Author. Early morning, you can find her at the beach. She's vegan and loves nature. Meditation, yoga, music and cooking inspire and ground her. She lives by one word: EMBRACE… yourself, your life, the present moment.