Why You Gotta Pay Your Coach And Pay Them Well
- Jun 24, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Stephanie Reh, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Hiring a coach has always cost me more than I hoped it would. And it has always delivered more value than I anticipated.
Make Yourself Sweat
I provide online group coaching through my 6-month Focus & Momentum Goal Mastery Program. I am also in an online group coaching program, and I still remember the moment I paid to enroll the first time - that was the moment my goal fire was lit. As my coach often says, “the transformation is in the transaction.” Once you commit and you put good money behind it, you’ve taken a huge step forward and set yourself up for success.
I remember years ago, at a local fundraiser luncheon, the keynote speaker implored us to write a check in an amount that would make us sweat. That advice applies to paying your coach too. In most cases, it’s got to be enough that it makes you pause. Otherwise, you don’t have enough “skin in the game.” You get out of it what you put into it, and if you start by putting in a nominal investment, you will also start by getting a nominal return. Not the best place to start.
A good coach will hug you accountable and enable you to achieve the goals and dreams for which you have a burning, inescapable desire. How much is that worth to you?
Let me be clear: You do not have to pay an exorbitant amount of money. Now, let me be even clearer: No matter what you pay, you will pay proportionate to the value you will get. That is because you and your coach show up according to your perception (or not) that a fair amount of money has been exchanged.
My first coach offered to coach me for free. I declined that arrangement and insisted on paying him. Not only did I insist on paying him, but I also insisted he charges me at least what I was charging my private coaching clients at the time. The reason, I explained, was because the difference between a coach who is working for you and one who is doing you a favor is significant.
If you are going to sign up for coaching, get your money’s worth. You’ll achieve that when neither one of you feels like you’ve been taken advantage of. When your coach feels they are being paid for the value, they are delivering. You are going to get that value. When they don’t, you won’t. Underpaid coaches will still serve you out of the goodness of their hearts, but not necessarily their souls.
I want a coach who is “all in,” one who is nearly as obsessed about my ambitious goal pursuit as I am. I call this “vested support”: people who “get” you; what you need, what you want, and why you don’t have it yet, and who are personally committed to enabling your success. You should also recruit vested support you don’t pay for - from your family, friends, etc., but that doesn’t replace a paid coach who consistently dedicates their time and energy to you as agreed.
I have requested or accepted free or low-cost help from people I know who genuinely want to support me on several occasions. (I’ve also offered and provided the same to others.) The consistent result is inconsistent support. That’s because they are doing me a favor, and therefore, all their other priorities come first. The less I pay, the lower priority I am. When I pay them, I become a priority. When I pay them well, I become a top priority. And since my ambitious goals are very important to me, I want someone who will make me a top priority. The only way to ensure that happens is to pay them appropriately.
It’s also not fair to expect friends and family to make room for you beyond the unconditional love they already provide. And, there’s the benefit of objectivity you get from hiring a professional whose own interests aren’t impacted by yours, unlike what is often the case with your inner circle. Remember that the transformation you are seeking when you hire a coach will inevitably change you. When you change, other people around you may become uncomfortable, and they may inadvertently - or even deliberately - deter your change efforts so they can stay in their own comfort zone.
Two-Way Street
It’s not just the coach who holds back in the absence of fair money exchange. From the perspective of the one being coached, the difference between “I invested a lot of money in this” and “No big deal if it doesn’t work out” is also significant. That’s why $10/month gym memberships rarely result in consistent attendance unless there is already a steadfast commitment to fitness.
Here’s what often happens when the coach feels underpaid, and the client didn’t wince at what they paid the coach:
One or both show up late to established meetings.
One or both are unprepared or underprepared.
One or both are disappointed with the progress that is being made.
One or both don’t really want to be there.
Most typically, I would suspect, the hypothetical outcomes listed above don’t appear immediately. But it doesn’t take long for them to appear. After the initial excitement about getting started, the enthusiasm quickly wanes when it feels more like work than a calling - for one or both parties.
You’re both Worthy
As a coach, I have always regretted undercharging my clients. While I wanted to make the fee accessible to them, I resented it after the fact. The decision to undercharge was mine - not theirs - so I had no one to blame but myself. I convinced myself I was serving them best by lowering the rate. But that wasn’t true because I wasn’t fully serving them.
It’s hard to escape the nagging feeling that I need to get back to my “other work.” when I feel the weight or pull of higher priorities, I struggle to get fully motivated for coaching sessions that are provided at a fraction of what I feel is most appropriate to charge. While I am still delivering value and the client is still deriving value from these sessions, the client isn’t getting everything I’ve got. And I’ve got a lot to give.
Experienced coaches command a higher price because they can. Once they are established, they won’t even consider a discount because they are in such high demand that any 1:1 coaching they do offer will require a premium for the privilege of them carving out time for you.
Good coaches are a good investment regardless of the depth of their experience. So if you do not have the funds and after exhausting all creative efforts to obtain the necessary funding to invest in your dreams, consider hiring a less experienced coach (who presumably charges less than a more experienced coach). Either way, you’ve got to pay them what they believe they're worth. Because you are worth it.
Stephanie Reh, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Stephanie Reh is on a mission to help more people to serve more people. Stephanie’s aim and passion as CEO & Founder of Accountability Evangelist are to help accountable people achieve their most ambitious goals so that they can happily live a life of fulfillment and make a tremendous, positive impact on the lives of the people they choose to serve. Stephanie’s signature offering for personal transformation is the Focus & Momentum Goal Mastery online group coaching program. She specializes in Succession Planning / Leadership Development, Strategic Planning / Goal & Risk Management, and Change Management for Mergers & Acquisitions for organizational transformation. Stephanie is an active community volunteer and champion. One of Stephanie’s current priorities is to help build a thriving, diverse, and inclusive entrepreneurial community in Western New York State, USA.
