Why We Resist the Present and the Struggle for Mindful Awareness
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 19
- 7 min read
The Inspirationists Coaching Services offer unique and engaging Self-Paced Online Coaching Programs that empower individuals to actively engage with their mental and emotional well-being by learning and applying valuable Self-Management skills in real time.
I am positive that most of us have heard the phrase “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift that is why it is called the present,” or how about “All we have is the present moment, because the past has already happened and the future hasn’t happened yet.” As Life Coaches, when we bring up the practice of present moment awareness or mindfulness to our clients, we are almost always met with a not-so-subtle eye roll and an exasperated sigh, and that is ok with us because we get it. However, we would like you to consider some profound examples of why we resist the present moment and how simply being human moves us away from the mindful awareness that can help to shape and reform our thoughts and emotions.
Why do most people struggle to focus on the present moment?
The psychology of the 95 and 5 rule
It has been said by scientists as well as psychologists that you only use 5% of your brain to process conscious thought as you move through your life. The other 95% of your brain's processing power is driven by your subconscious mind (outside of your conscious awareness), which is built around your personal life experiences.
This concept, in itself, is very much subject to one's ability or inability to harness the practice of present moment awareness. Without us even knowing it, our brains are reacting to and comparing things that have already happened to us and overlaying these patterns into our daily thoughts, feelings, and reactions. These subconscious patterns play a large part in why we struggle to practice present moment awareness.
So many thoughts, so little time?
Depending on where you look online, it is said that each of us thinks between 6000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. No matter where you land in the thought count it is not hard to understand why we struggle to direct our attention to what is happening moment to moment, as our minds are inundated with what happened yesterday, how someone made you feel a week ago, the promotion you feel you deserve, what you would like to have for dinner, your bank balance, and so on.
I think we can all agree that life can feel chaotic at the best of times. Our lives are filled with to-do lists and responsibilities, work deadlines and technology, our significant others and our children, and dreaming about that much-needed vacation to Mexico. As human beings, we are conditioned to hang on to the past as we work towards the visions of our future, and we tend to ignore what is actually happening right in front of us on a daily basis.
Practice is not about perfection (how to elevate your mindful awareness)
The practice of present moment awareness is just that, a practice. If you want to get better at living in the moment, you have to let go of trying to get it right, as there is no end game in becoming more mindful. However, using and applying some non-judgemental observation, and practicing conscious awareness (paying attention) can help you elevate your mindful awareness, relieve stress, improve focus, and positively influence your emotional regulation. Let's look at what contributes to us resisting the present and what we can do to elevate our mindful awareness.
Self-awareness is vital (your thoughts, feelings, and actions are on you)
If you lack the understanding of what is going on inside of you and you tend to let your thoughts and emotions run the show, you will likely find that the concept and value of present moment awareness doesn’t hold much value to you. However, your ability to understand and reflect on what you are thinking and feeling goes hand in hand with mindful awareness. A lack of self-awareness can keep you stuck in negative cycles of thought that you don’t fully understand, create emotional reactivity, and hinder your ability to remain grounded and present.
It is not possible to live in the present moment all the time as your life is full of constant distractions that pull you into the past (which has already happened), and the future (which hasn’t happened yet). Elevating your self-awareness gives you the opportunity to move through the present moment without self-judgement or criticism, which in turn creates a path forward for you that increases your ability to problem solve and approach challenges with less angst and trepidation. Elevating your self-awareness will give you the skills to adopt present-moment thinking, as well as empower you to feel more in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Questions only you can answer (practicing self-talk)
Whether we are fully aware of it or not, we practice self-talk regularly. Unfortunately, what we tend to tell ourselves falls into negative thought patterns and beliefs about ourselves that are not actually true. The practice of self-talk consists of asking yourself questions that only you can answer. Being honest with yourself is critical because the more honest you are with yourself, the easier it is to bring yourself back into the present moment.
Applying self-talk is a mindful practice that allows you to ask yourself questions that help you become more aware when you are stuck in the past or projecting yourself into the future:
What is making me feel this way?
Who is responsible for how I feel?
Why am I thinking or feeling this way?
When do these thoughts, feelings, and reactions come up?
Where do I want to direct my energy?
How can I bring myself back into the present moment?
When you practice self-awareness, the element of self-talk becomes much easier. The more you practice mindfulness around your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, the practice of bringing yourself back into the present will become much easier.
Discomfort creates movement (moving with and accepting discomfort)
Ahh, yes, discomfort. That feeling we make valiant attempts to avoid for what we believe is our own self-preservation. When we avoid the discomfort of our own thoughts and feelings, we can never be truly present. However, it is important to understand that you can be angry, sad, frustrated, and irritated and still practice being in the present moment. Allowing yourself to be with what you are thinking and feeling allows you to move through discomfort as it is happening and creates a level of acceptance that relates to what is happening in the moment.
Learning how to be where you are at, as well as accepting where you are at in any given moment, even if it is uncomfortable, is a crucial aspect of mindful awareness. You can only shift your mindset if you are aware of your likes and dislikes, the things that push your buttons, situations and circumstances that feel overwhelming, and how you respond to them. By being present, you can now respond to what is happening around you in a manner that keeps you focused on the next moment because the next moment is always ready and waiting for you.
Relinquish control (letting go keeps you present)
If we could control everything that happens around us all the time, that would be a wonderful thing, wouldn’t it? We could control how we experience everything as well as control the behaviors of others. The truth is, a lot of us struggle with uncertainty and do our very best to try and control our environment and how we experience it. This is the perspective that will always move you away from being present, or even mindful, for that matter. However, learning how to let the things go that you have no control over is one of the best ways to bring yourself back into what is happening in the moment.
When you adopt a forward-thinking mindset, it is much easier to recognize that you can control your thoughts, actions, and reactions, but you cannot control external events or other people's behaviors. Even in an uncomfortable situation, if you are able to apply some self-awareness and a bit of self-talk, you are going to find yourself being able to move on from situations and challenges with ease.
Why present moment awareness is your guide
I hope by now, when you think about mindful awareness and doing your best to shift your mindset into the present moment, you can change that eyeroll and that exasperated sigh into some personal empowerment. Allowing yourself to be more aware of your own thoughts and feelings creates more space in your mind to focus on what really matters to you. Most of the thoughts that take up valuable real estate in our minds have either already happened or havent happened yet, and don’t allow you to live in a state of flow or acceptance.
The practice of learning how to be more present is not about fighting to constantly stay in the present moment. It's actually about the relationship you create with yourself to be able to recognize when certain thoughts that don’t serve you are taking you away from the present moment. Think of it as more of an ability to course correct when your ship (your mind) is starting to lean to one side. Allow yourself the opportunity to realign your thinking in the moment because honestly, the only thing we can actually control is right in front of us.
Take this moment to choose yourself
If you would like to learn more about mindful awareness and how to apply present-moment thinking to elevate your life experience, please visit our website to learn more about how we can help you get there. There is always more than one way to shift your mindset, increase your self-awareness, and start enjoying life on your terms.
We also recommend reading our last article, 6 Elements of the Change Cycle That Keep Us Unhappy and Unfulfilled to help you better understand why creating change for ourselves can seem like an impossible task. The more you know about why you feel stuck, the more pathways for change you can open that you didn’t know were there.
Visit our website for more info!
Read more from Shannon Zayac and Callie Starre
Shannon Zayac and Callie Starre, Emotional Intelligence & Mindset (REBT) Coaching
The Inspirationists have successfully built self-reflective coaching programs that focus on navigating the change and challenges we all experience in our daily lives and the effect they have on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In targeting 5 major areas that are critical to personal growth and our overall mental health ( Self-Awareness, Perspective, Communication, Social-Awareness, and Stress Management ) the Inspirationists adopt the concept of "Mental Movement" which allows individuals to elevate personal understanding, build confidence and resilience, and unlock endless possibilites for success.
