Why Stress Eating Gets Louder in Menopause and What Actually Helps
- Brainz Magazine
- 4 days ago
- 9 min read
Dr. Kelly combines nutrition science with practical habits, emotional well-being, and menopause support. Founder of Nourish Minds and creator of the Menopause Freedom Method. She is academically published, the author of The Habit Revolution and Nourish Your Teens.
The day has been full of so many decisions, responsibilities, and thinking “for” everyone else, and by the evening, you are tired, wired, and overstimulated. You find yourself reaching for something sweet, crunchy, or even a glass of wine to unwind. Your mind is crying for a way to switch off, to soften the edges, and to get a brief sense of relief.
What we may refer to as stress, comfort, or emotional eating is, for many, an automatic response to overload. It is automatic, dissociative, and driven by our nervous system.
“I just find myself eating without thinking.”
“I’m exhausted, and food is the only thing that quietens everything.”
“I don’t feel hungry, but I want something.”
Emotional eating is characterised by eating in response to emotional or psychological cues, rather than responding to physical hunger. It is a way to seek comfort, relief, or distraction when we feel emotionally unsettled or under pressure. This is a normal human response that many of us have relied on for comfort or ‘survival’ at different points in our lives, depending on our own food experiences.
This pattern can become more pronounced in perimenopause. Habits that were once occasional or manageable can start to feel louder and more urgent. Cravings for food grow stronger, and the comfort of evening eating creeps in, often followed by a familiar shame, guilt, and harsh self-talk: “What’s wrong with me?” and “Why can’t I have more self-control?”
Let us be clear: there is nothing wrong with you. This is not a failure of willpower or self-control.
So many women share this same experience, yet it remains as an unspoken aspect of women’s lived experience. Emotional eating in midlife is often perceived as a personal problem, rather than a shared biological and emotional response to profound change. This means many of us carry it quietly within, believing we are alone in something that is deeply common and surmountable.
To understand why this happens, we need to look at what’s changing in the body and brain during the menopause transition. This article explores why emotional eating often intensifies during this life stage, what’s really happening beneath the surface, and how compassionate, practical strategies can help break the cycle, replacing guilt and restriction with curiosity, self-kindness, and nourishment that supports your wellbeing and weight regulation.
A gentle note on eating distress
Many women experience periods of stress eating or comfort eating during menopause. For most, this eases when the body is supported with compassion, regulation, and steady nourishment. For some, eating may feel more intense or distressing, or may be happening frequently alongside feelings of shame or loss of ease around food. In these moments, additional personalised support can be a caring next step. A medical or qualified mental health professional can help explore what’s going on in a way that feels safe and supportive. Wherever you find yourself, you deserve understanding, care, and support.
Why does emotional eating intensify during perimenopause?
Perimenopause is a major transition in a woman’s life, not just hormonally, but for the brain and emotions too. Shifting hormones, metabolism, and everyday stresses overlap, creating a perfect storm that can make emotional eating feel so much harder to manage. Understanding this interplay is helpful in moving towards self-compassion and practical, gentle change.
The oestrogen roller coaster and emotional appetite
During perimenopause, oestrogen does not simply decline in a neat, predictable way. Instead, it fluctuates, sometimes sharply, before gradually falling over time. In my courses and programmes, we describe this as a hormonal roller coaster, which is how it most often feels.
These shifts matter because oestrogen is not just about reproduction or hot flushes. It plays a key role in appetite, mood, and how we experience reward and pleasure.
In this process, the brain’s chemical messengers involved in mood and motivation, particularly those linked to feeling calm, satisfied, and emotionally balanced, can become less stable. When this internal balance is disrupted, the brain naturally looks for quick comfort. Sweet or high-energy foods can provide a ‘brief’ sense of relief. This isn’t a lack of willpower, it’s a biological response to changes inside your body.
Why do I feel so overwhelmed?
Many women notice that during perimenopause, stress feels more overwhelming than it once did.
‘Situations that previously felt manageable may now feel emotionally heavier or harder to recover from.’
This is partly because the hormonal roller coaster can lower the brain’s resilience to stress. Regulating our emotions takes more effort, we can feel triggered more easily, and our nervous system stays heightened for longer. In these moments, our relationship with food, long associated with reward, comfort, and pleasure, can make eating a familiar and accessible way to self-soothe. Emotional eating, here, is not about hunger, but about the body and brain seeking relief.
Why does weight loss feel so much harder now?
During this life stage, many women notice a shift in how their bodies are changing and able to regulate weight and energy. Approaches that once worked often no longer have the same effect. This change can feel unexpected and hard to make sense of, taking us into a tailspin of negative self-talk.
Hormonal change influences how our body stores fat, favouring the tummy area, and can also affect insulin sensitivity. At the same time, shifts in oestrogen can influence gut health and appetite signalling, subtly changing hunger, fullness, and satisfaction after meals.
In response, it’s common to try to eat less or tighten control around food in an attempt to feel back in charge. But if the body experiences ongoing restriction, it may respond by conserving energy and increasing cravings. This can create cycles of strict control followed by periods of overeating, which can feel confusing and discouraging.
Importantly, these patterns are not a lack of willpower or motivation. They reflect the body adapting to significant internal change.
Brain fog and the evening tipping point
Cognitive changes, known to us as ‘brain fog’ or ‘mental fatigue,’ are a common part of this life stage. Many women tell me they feel less sharp, more forgetful, or mentally drained far earlier in the day than they used to. Simple decisions can feel surprisingly hard, and that can be worrying. Women tell me often that just knowing this is a normal part of this transition really helps.
As the brain adapts to hormonal change, concentration, memory, and decision-making require more effort. By the evening, when mental energy is lowest (at any time of our lives), the brain naturally looks for what feels easiest, quickest, and most comforting.
This is why emotional eating so often shows up later in the day. It’s not about willpower or habits “slipping.” It’s what happens when our cognitive resources are depleted, and the brain is seeking relief.
Importantly, this isn’t a sign of decline. It reflects a period of brain-adaptation during a major life transition. In other stages of significant brain change, such as adolescence, we see similar shifts in emotional regulation and impulse control. During perimenopause, the brain is recalibrating again, and food can become a simple, familiar way to cope when mental load is high.
Why shame keeps the cycle going
Perhaps the most damaging part of emotional eating is the shame that follows. Harsh self-talk, guilt, and a sense of failure increase stress in the body, making cravings stronger and emotions harder to manage.
Emotional eating is not irrational. It is the brain seeking relief. Meeting it with curiosity and self-compassion makes it possible to interrupt the cycle and respond in ways that genuinely support both mental health, appetite, and weight regulation long term, and your overall health.
6 ways to break the emotional eating cycle
A great first step to change is understanding the why. The awareness is first, and then what truly helps is shifting how we respond to ourselves.
In both my professional work and my own personal journey, compassionate, body-based practices have been a turning point. Learning to relate to our body with kindness, leaning into yoga, meditation, and breathwork practices changes not only our relationship with food and body, but our sense of self.
The wonderful part is that this mirrors emerging research showing that strengthening self-compassion can significantly support emotional regulation and eating behaviours, particularly when we are feeling vulnerable. Approaches such as compassion-focused therapy and mindful movement have been linked to improvements in psychological well-being and reductions in disordered eating patterns.
Compassionate inquiry helps you identify the underlying need and choose a response that is genuinely supportive, rather than a quick fix that leaves you feeling worse. It's about working with your brain, understanding its signals, and offering it true comfort, not just a temporary distraction. Taking this journey helps to rewire the neural pathways associated with emotional eating, building new, healthier coping mechanisms over time. Remember, your perimenopausal brain is highly adaptable, it just needs new, compassionate guidance.
I want to share six strategies which are grounded in this evidence, shaped by my work with hundreds of women, and designed to be practical, small shifts you can begin to weave into everyday life.
Six compassion-based strategies
1. Replace ‘‘self-criticism’’ with curiosity
Notice and replace: Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”, gently ask “What’s going on for me right now?” It can help to write this down in a journal.
This simple shift moves the brain out of threat mode and into reflection. Curiosity softens the stress response and creates space to respond, rather than react. Over time, with practice, this can help reduce and move away from the shame-restriction mindset.
2. Use the body to calm the nervous system
When emotions run high, thinking alone rarely helps. Practices that work through the body, such as slow breathing, gentle movement, or grounding postures, can activate the nervous system’s soothing response.
This is one reason practices like yoga, breathwork, being in nature, and embodied awareness are so powerful during perimenopause: they help the body feel safe enough for regulation to return.
3. Eat for regulation
Rather than tightening food rules after difficult days, focus on steady nourishment. Regular meals, balanced blood sugar, and permission to eat reduce the biological drive toward intense cravings. Remember, restriction increases stress, nourishment supports regulation. This shift alone often reduces emotional eating without force or discipline.
Front-load protein, for example, breaking your fast with a high-protein, whole-food breakfast, and focus on eating more fibre and a variety of plants each day. Learn more about how to build your systems and nutrition in your day (Menopause Freedom Method course link).
4. Create pause points
Emotional eating often happens when mental energy is low, especially in the evening. Introducing small pause points can help: a breath before eating, a moment of check-in, or choosing to sit rather than eat standing. These pauses are about reconnecting with your choice.
Women completing my nourish for you programme have connected with the "2 or 3 strategies" concept for when cravings become urgent. Choose 2 or 3 things you will do (e.g., ring a friend, have a walk, take a bath, deep breathing exercise, a guided meditation, have a green tea, set a ritual, etc.) and tell yourself that after this, if you still want the ‘craved food,’ you will then sit down and enjoy it.
5. Supporting your nervous system throughout the day
While compassion and mindset are essential, the brain also benefits from gentle, consistent movement throughout the day.
Movement snacks placed throughout the day, such as walking, strength or resistance work, stretching, and practices like yoga, all help stabilize blood sugar, support mood, and improve how the brain copes with stress.
In menopause, this kind of movement helps the nervous system feel safer and more regulated, which can reduce cravings later in the day.
6. Build practices of ‘‘self-kindness’’
Self-compassion is a skill. Practices such as kind self-talk, compassionate journaling, or brief reflective moments help rebuild trust with the body.
Research suggests that when self-compassion increases, shame decreases, and with it, the urge to use food as a coping strategy.
A kinder way forward
Perimenopause is a human response to a time of great change in the brain, the body, and the nervous system. When we meet these changes with understanding, something powerful shifts.
Shame loosens its grip. Regulation becomes possible again. And food no longer has to carry the full weight of comfort, relief, or emotional support.
If this resonates, and you’d like deeper support, I invite you to explore my work. Through Kundalini Yoga, nervous-system-informed practices, and my signature programme, the Menopause Freedom Method, I support women to reconnect with their bodies, soften the struggle around food, and build sustainable wellbeing through midlife and beyond.
You can learn more about my approach, courses, and resources here.
‘Emotional eating during perimenopause is information. It tells us that the brain and body are under pressure and need support, not stricter rules.’
Read more from Dr. Kelly Rose
Dr. Kelly Rose, Registered Nutritionist & Women's Health Expert
Dr. Kelly is known for her compassionate approach to key life transitions, honing in on the brain changes occurring in adolescence and menopause, when mental health and weight regulation can be most vulnerable. Her work is informed by neuroscience and trauma-aware nutrition. Dr. Rose has profoundly impacted hundreds of women, guiding them on successful midlife weight loss journeys. Her work is dedicated to fostering profound health and lasting well-being.
