Why Is It So Hard to Be Present? – The Science Behind Our Struggle with Mindfulness
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 3
- 5 min read
Written by Janie Terrazas, The Mindfulness Coach
Janie Terrazas is a Mindfulness Coach and creator of PazMesa, a self-mastery guide to help you access inner peace, joy, vitality, and prosperity through mindful living and unconditional loving.
The struggle to be fully engaged in the present moment is deeply rooted in both biological evolution and cultural conditioning. While presence is our natural state, one that we experienced freely as children, modern life has programmed us to prioritize thinking, planning, and problem-solving over simply being.
The mind, left unchecked, often oscillates between the past (rumination, regret, nostalgia) and the future (worry, ambition, planning), rarely settling in the now. This perpetual time loop not only robs us of peace and vitality but also disconnects us from the full richness of life and love.
How did we become so disconnected from the present moment?
There are several key factors that have contributed to humanity’s detachment from the present:
1. Evolutionary survival instincts
Our ancestors depended on anticipation and prediction for survival. Being hyper-aware of future dangers or reflecting on past mistakes was advantageous in avoiding threats.
This instinctual “threat-detection mode” has been carried into modern times, even though we no longer live in an environment filled with constant physical threats.
The brain is wired to scan for danger, leading to excessive mental time travel, dwelling on past failures, or anticipating future risks.
2. Cultural conditioning and productivity mindset
The industrial revolution and capitalist structures have conditioned people to define their worth by doing rather than being.
"Success" is often measured by productivity, future achievements, and tangible results rather than presence and contentment.
The overemphasis on multitasking and efficiency has made stillness, or doing one thing at a time, feel unnatural or unproductive.
3. The illusion of control
The mind falsely believes that by analyzing the past or planning the future, we gain control over life.
However, this creates a cycle of attachment and resistance, clinging to what was or trying to manipulate what will be, rather than fully experiencing what is.
4. Trauma and emotional avoidance
Many people live in their heads as a way to escape unresolved emotional pain.
Presence requires us to feel what is, and for those carrying unprocessed grief, fear, or anxiety, being in the moment can feel overwhelming. This can trigger adverse reactivity.
Instead of facing discomfort, the mind retreats into distractions, memories, or projections.
5. The digital age and overstimulation
Technology, social media, and constant notifications have fragmented attention spans.
The dopamine-driven loop of checking phones, consuming fast-paced content, and seeking external validation keeps people from truly immersing in reality.
Instead of experiencing life directly, many people become absorbed in screens, memories, and curated digital identities. They immerse themselves in online games, embodying fictional characters, rather than fully engaging in the real world and actively shaping their own personal growth and character.
6. The fear of emptiness
Many people associate stillness with boredom, loneliness, or existential dread.
The mind constantly seeks stimulation, filling every quiet moment with thoughts, distractions, or worries.
This discomfort with silence and stillness further fuels avoidance of the present.
How does this disconnection rob us of peace, vitality, and joy?
When we are not fully present, we experience life diluted rather than in its full richness.
1. Loss of peace
Constantly living in the past (regret) or future (worry) generates anxiety, stress, and dissatisfaction.
Presence is the only place where peace can be felt—where one can truly breathe, surrender, and let go.
2. Loss of vitality
When the mind is elsewhere, the body suffers. Chronic stress depletes energy, weakens the immune system, and accelerates aging.
Being fully engaged in the moment enhances flow states, where energy is optimized and life feels effortless.
3. Loss of authentic connection
Relationships suffer when people are mentally elsewhere. Conversations become shallow, interactions lack depth, and true intimacy is lost.
Fully present people create deeper bonds, make others feel seen, and experience love in a more profound way.
4. Loss of life’s simple joys
Every moment holds the potential for beauty, whether it’s the taste of a meal, the warmth of the sun, or the laughter of a loved one.
When stuck in thought loops, we miss out on the small, sacred joys of existence.
5. Loss of creativity and intuition
Presence is the gateway to higher intelligence, the place where inspiration, clarity, and deep insights arise.
Constant mental chatter blocks access to inner wisdom, spontaneity, and creative flow.
Reclaiming presence: Returning to our natural state
Being present is not about forcing the mind to be still but training it to return home to this breath, this moment, this experience. This is the way of PazMesa, living in wholeness from the power of peace within.
Ways to cultivate presence
1. Breathe with awareness
Pause and take three slow, deep breaths throughout the day. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
The breath is always happening in the now; anchoring to it brings instant presence.
2. Practice sensory immersion
Engage fully with your senses; notice the textures, sounds, scents, and colors around you.
Try “mindful eating” by savoring every bite instead of rushing through meals.
3. Reduce digital overload
Set boundaries with technology and limit screen time and social media consumption.
Practice phone-free moments to engage with reality more deeply. Do not split your attention.
4. Feel to heal
Sit with your emotions instead of distracting yourself from them.
Process unresolved pain through journaling, therapy, or mindful movement (gentle somatic practices, breathwork).
5. Let go of time-based thinking
Remind yourself: The past is a memory, the future is a projection, but now is real.
When you notice yourself lost in thought, gently return to the moment.
6. Engage in flow activities
Flow states happen when you are fully immersed in what you’re doing—whether it’s painting, dancing, exercising, or playing an instrument.
Do more of what makes you lose track of time.
7. Relearn childlike wonder
Observe the world as if you’re seeing everything for the first time.
Find joy in simple things: a blooming flower, the sound of the wind, the song of a bird, or the rhythm of your footsteps.
8. Surrender to what is
Instead of resisting reality, embrace it with openness.
Practice saying, “This moment is enough.”
Final reflection: The gift of being fully alive
Presence is not something to chase; it is something to allow. It is the state of truly being alive rather than just existing.
When we master presence, we regain our peace, our vitality, and our joy. We break free from the illusion of time and return to the eternal now, where life is always unfolding in its full, radiant beauty.
The question is: Are you here for it?
Read more from Janie Terrazas
Janie Terrazas, The Mindfulness Coach
Janie Terrazas, known as The Mindfulness Coach, transformed her media career into a life coaching and wellness advocacy mission after a spiritual awakening in 2011. As the creator of the PazMesa Self Mastery Program and the force behind Rise Above TV, she fosters balance and mindfulness in others. Her triumphs and trials deeply shape her coaching as she helps clients address stress, trauma, and safe relationship building. Janie combines spiritual depth with actionable strategies to guide individuals toward a joyful, vital life. Her coaching transcends conventional methods, empowering clients to find peace and purpose within. Janie's empathetic and innovative approaches offer a safe self-discovery roadmap to authentic living and loving.
