Why a New Year is Not the Answer to Real Growth and Transformation
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 2
- 5 min read
Stacey Uhrig is a Certified Trauma Care Practitioner, Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, speaker, and host of the Flip Your Mindset podcast. She specializes in helping individuals heal unresolved childhood and developmental trauma, equipping clients with tools to reframe their narratives and build resilience, self-confidence, and authentic connections.
People often say, “I just need this year to be over. I want a clean slate and a fresh new year.” But who decided that the date on the calendar magically erases life’s hardships? Historically, the Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year, while the Romans dedicated January to Janus, the two-faced god who looked both to the past and the future. Over time, these customs shaped our modern belief that the new year is the perfect time for a reset.
In 2023, I took a hard look at my life and conducted a five-year audit. I realized that no matter how many times I wished for a blank slate on January 1, life operates on its own schedule. Let me share that five-year snapshot with you.
A five-year snapshot
In January 2018, I began my journey as a solopreneur. In February, one of my parents underwent quadruple bypass surgery and spent seven weeks in rehabilitation. Later that year, I received cancer diagnoses for both of my parents, one in May and the other in November. Additionally, I experienced shingles in October, which I recognized as my body’s way of responding to stress.
In January 2019, my oldest son suffered a concussion, which led to seven difficult months of post concussive syndrome. During that time, we faced constant negotiations with his school, numerous doctor appointments, and the challenge of supporting him through a truly dark and painful experience. It was an incredibly overwhelming and terrifying situation for me as a mom.
In 2020, we were finally ready for a drama free year. Everyone was feeling better, my son was back in school, and we were celebrating one year since his injury. Everything seemed to be moving in the right direction. Then, suddenly, lockdowns were imposed, and my teenagers struggled with remote learning and feelings of isolation. We faced significant challenges as a family. We lost a brother, another parent required quadruple bypass surgery, and yet another cancer diagnosis affected us. On top of this, I was diagnosed with seronegative rheumatoid arthritis, triggered by unresolved trauma that had finally come to the surface.
In 2021, I envisioned it to be the year of bliss and ease. We deserved it to be better, didn’t we? Of course, we did. However, I caught COVID early in the year and went into full on battle mode with our school district. I also worked hard to bring my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) into remission through deep emotional work. Along the way, I faced serious mental health issues among loved ones, lost a parent, and helped another recover from a significant injury, all while building a new business and returning to school at the age of 50. Unfortunately, COVID struck again on my 50th birthday, just two days before the year ended.
At this point, we were running on fumes. The year 2022 started with COVID in our home, followed by a messy legal battle and an epic trip to California, which included yet another bout with COVID. We navigated teenage drama, welcomed a new puppy, and stood by friends facing serious health diagnoses.
As the clock moved from December 31 to January 1, the turmoil and heartbreak did not magically reset. Each year came with its own set of challenges, leading me to a deeper realization. Real change does not depend on the flip of a calendar page.
Acceptance over expectations
One of my most profound lessons from that experience was that fighting the present moment only compounds our suffering. As Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power of Now:
“Whenever you are unhappy, you have the unconscious belief that the present moment should not be happening—that it is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’ But the moment we accept what is actually happening as ‘right,’ in the sense that it is our current reality, we stop creating internal resistance. Instead of labeling the situation as ‘bad,’ we can recognize it as the situation we are in and thus work with it rather than against it. In doing so, we free ourselves from the cycle of mental conflict and negative emotion.” — Paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (1997)
Resisting what’s happening only heightens our stress. Accepting reality, whether it is painful or not, allows us to confront it with clarity instead of frustration. This acceptance does not mean we cannot take action to improve our circumstances; rather, it means we stop fighting against the fact that they exist.
Resilience and coping strategies
Each crisis prompted me to explore new coping mechanisms, such as therapy, journaling, spiritual practices, and setting boundaries. Sometimes, even a simple walk outside to clear my head made a difference. I discovered that the true moments of reset often occur in the quiet, unglamorous acts of daily perseverance.
Every experience has purpose
Over time, I started to view each setback as part of my life's curriculum. While I can't say I enjoyed facing these challenges, believing that every trial offered a lesson or a chance for growth allowed me to confront them with greater hope and, occasionally, even gratitude.
Looking ahead to 2025
As I enter 2025, I've decided to stop pursuing a mythical "clean slate." My reset will come from my response to life's unpredictability. Whether it's January 1 or an ordinary Tuesday in June, I can pause, reevaluate, and embrace the present moment.
Embrace grace
I’m learning to extend grace to myself and others, especially when juggling so much at once.
Surrender, but don’t quit
Letting go of what “should be” isn’t giving up; it’s creating room to see reality as it is, which often opens new paths forward.
Celebrate small wins
A lot of life’s beauty emerges in the details; in a heartfelt conversation, a quiet walk, or the moment you realize you’re stronger than you thought.
Your turn
If you conducted a five-year audit, what truths would emerge?
Do you rely on the new year to make significant changes, or could you start implementing small shifts right now? I understand the desire for a fresh start; there’s something comforting about the idea of a built-in reset on the horizon. However, perhaps the real magic lies in how we approach each moment rather than the date on the calendar. After all, the past five years have taught me that when the clock strikes midnight, it doesn’t change our circumstances. Instead, it is embracing each day with acceptance that can truly change us.
Read more from Stacey Uhrig
Stacey Uhrig, Trauma Care Practitioner (CTCP, C-Hyp, RTT-P)
Stacey Uhrig is a Certified Trauma Care Practitioner, Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, speaker, and host of the Flip Your Mindset podcast. She specializes in helping individuals heal unresolved childhood and developmental trauma, equipping clients with tools to reframe their narratives and build resilience, self-confidence, and authentic connections. Using modalities like Hypnosis, Parts Work, and Polyvagal Theory, Stacey empowers clients to find clarity, peace, and purpose in their healing journey. As an adoptive mother to two, she also advocates for trauma-informed parenting and creating nurturing environments for personal growth.
