When Your Body Has Its Own Agenda – Living with Chronic Gastritis as a Therapist
- Jan 13
- 4 min read
Roisin Laoise O'Carroll is a Counsellor & Psychotherapist who combines professional expertise with lived experience to help readers navigate relationships, health, and personal growth and resilience.
What happens when a therapist’s body no longer cooperates with the demands of holding space for others? Living with chronic gastritis reshapes presence, self-care, and resilience in profound ways. This personal reflection explores how empathy, acceptance, and self-compassion become essential tools, not just for clients, but for the therapists themselves.
The daily challenges
Sometimes I sit in my therapy sessions with clients and wonder what life would look like if my stomach were not in constant knots, the aching pain that never leaves my side. The lack of eating and insomnia make my sleepless nights endless. I will still walk into a session with my clients and sit with their trauma, grief, and anxiety, needing to hold space for them while my own body is screaming for rest.
There are moments I have arrived for sessions, in a sluggish mood, with pain, energy levels depleted, and my thoughts foggy. I would be sitting across from my clients, listening to their pain, nodding, responding with empathy, all while silently wishing the pain would subside. It can be exhausting both physically and mentally, and I often wonder how much I can give before I reach my limit.
Gastritis has taught me many things, but one is that self-care is not optional, it is survival, learning to manage the way I eat, and acknowledging that most days I may not function at 100% has been difficult to accept but essential. I have also learned to bring some of the empathy I offer my clients inwardly now, as I notice my limits and honour them, recognising that taking care of myself is of the utmost importance. If I am not functioning as I am, then how can I expect my clients to? Holding space for emotional trauma is not easy to do, but it has forced me to develop more tools for resilience and self-compassion.
Living with this chronic condition has also reshaped how I see therapy. I understand the weight of carrying others’ trauma can be exhausting. Still, the weight of a chronic health condition carries a huge weight of exhaustion, constantly being limited by one's own body, and the courage I bring to keep going anyway. It has reminded me that therapists are human too, and that presence does not require perfection but an awareness, honesty, and willingness to show up even when it is hard.
Applying therapist skills to myself
Being a therapist has given me the tools to turn inward. The person-centred values of empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence are what I offer to my clients every day, and over time, they have also become the foundation of how I care for myself while living with gastritis. But what do these values mean in practice?
Empathy in therapy is about understanding a client’s world from their perspective. It involves accurately reflecting their feelings and experiences in a way that helps them feel heard, understood, and emotionally validated. Living with constant pain has taught me to extend that same empathy inward to acknowledge my exhaustion, discomfort, and frustration rather than dismissing or minimising them.
Unconditional positive regard means accepting a client without judgment, regardless of their thoughts, emotions, or behaviours. It is a cornerstone in building self-worth. Applying this to myself has been one of the hardest lessons. On days when my body limits me, when I cannot eat properly, sleep well, or function at full capacity. I practice acceptance rather than self-criticism. I remind myself that my worth is not dependent on productivity or performance.
Congruence is one of my favourite person-centred values. It refers to the therapist being authentic and genuine within the therapeutic relationship. For me, this has meant allowing myself to be honest about my limitations, rather than striving to appear unaffected or “fine.” By being congruent with myself and acknowledging pain, fatigue, and emotional strain, I am better able to remain present with my clients, not distracted by internal battles or self-judgment.
Practising self-compassion has become essential. When I cannot do everything perfectly, I consciously build empathy towards myself, recognising both the physical and emotional toll of living with a chronic condition. This ongoing process reminds me that my value is not diminished because my body has limits and that caring for myself is not separate from being a good therapist, but central to it.
Lessons learned and reflections
Living with gastritis has taught me that presence does not require perfection. Some days, my body leads the way, and I must follow with patience rather than resistance. As a therapist and as a human being, I am learning that caring for myself is not separate from caring for others. Sometimes, the most powerful work we do begins with listening to our own pain and responding with compassion. And some days, my stomach still sets the schedule, and I’m learning that’s okay.
If you are living with a chronic condition or supporting others while quietly struggling yourself, I hope this article reminds you that you are not weak for needing rest, boundaries, or compassion. Your limitations do not define your worth. They invite a different way of relating to yourself, one rooted in kindness rather than criticism.
Read more from Roisin Laoise O'Carroll
Roisin Laoise O'Carroll, Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Roisin Laoise O'Carroll is a Counsellor & Psychotherapist, specialising in relationships, mental health, physical wellbeing, and domestic abuse support. Drawing on both professional expertise and personal experience, she helps readers navigate emotional challenges, recognise unhealthy patterns, and build resilience. As a domestic abuse counsellor, she supports individuals in reclaiming their safety, confidence, and sense of self. Through her writing for Brainz Magazine, she provides practical guidance and insights to empower readers to trust themselves, set boundaries, and prioritise their overall wellbeing.
