When Self-Doubt Blocks Trust – How Low Self-Esteem Keeps Women from Getting the Help They Need
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 20
- 4 min read
Lisa Skeffington is a psychotherapist and thought leader shaping the future of mental health. She is the founder of the Empowered Momentum Community. She hosts coastal escapes that empower high-functioning mid-life women to authentically remove the masks they wear in their outwardly successful lives. She is also the author of the book "From Anxious to Empowered."
For many successful women, confidence in their careers hides a quieter struggle, the fear of trusting too easily or not at all. They long for real support yet hesitate to reach for it, convinced that choosing the wrong person or programme could make things worse. Others replay past disappointments with mentors, friends, or partners and tell themselves it’s safer to cope alone.
Psychotherapist and mentor Lisa Skeffington has seen this pattern again and again in the women she supports. “Low self-esteem creates a deep mistrust,” she explains. “It makes women question everyone’s motives, and their own judgment most of all. That hesitation keeps them stuck in the very pain they’re trying to escape.”
When wounds shape the way you trust
Women who’ve been let down, judged, or ignored often carry those experiences into every new connection. They may appear capable and composed, yet underneath is a quiet belief that no one will truly understand or protect their vulnerability. This learned mistrust not only shuts others out but also erodes faith in their own decisions.
Lisa notes, “When self-worth is low, even choosing a therapist or coach can feel overwhelming. You doubt your ability to tell the difference between genuine help and false promises. So you do nothing, and the cycle continues.”
The trap of seeking safety
Low self-esteem often drives women toward what feels secure instead of what will truly serve them. They stay in unfulfilling jobs, overgive in relationships, or delay investing in support because uncertainty feels dangerous. Yet that very avoidance is what keeps their wounds unhealed.
“The paradox,” Lisa explains, “is that the fear of making a wrong choice becomes the reason nothing changes. But healing only begins when you dare to choose differently. Waiting for total certainty is another way fear disguises itself as logic.”
Every time a woman postpones help, her inner critic grows stronger. Over time, this further erodes her self-belief, reinforcing the false story that she is destined to struggle alone.
Rebuilding trust from within
True transformation starts with self-honesty and kindness. Lisa encourages women to see mistrust, not as failure, but as self-protection that has outlived its purpose. “It’s your nervous system saying, ‘I remember being hurt.’ The work is to teach them that it’s safe to reach out again,” she says.
Small but consistent actions rebuild that inner trust:
Acknowledge your history. Recognise where the fear of trusting began.
Listen to your instincts. Notice the difference between genuine intuition and anxious overthinking.
Practise small risks. Say yes to opportunities where trust can be safely tested and rewarded.
Seek guided support. Healing trust often requires being gently held accountable by someone you can rely on.
The power of compassionate guidance
Lisa’s psychodynamic mentoring provides that safe container. Through confidential, steady guidance, she helps professional women understand the roots of their mistrust and find the courage to make confident choices again, at work, in love, and within themselves.
For deeper restoration, her private coastal escapes offer a calm, natural setting where women can step away from life’s noise and rediscover their inner steadiness. Against the soothing rhythm of the sea, they learn to quiet the self-doubt that once kept them from reaching for help.
Her books extend this support beyond the retreat. "Anxious to Empowered" helps women reclaim their worth and calm, while "Anxiety – We Need to Break Up" offers guidance for teenagers learning to manage fear and self-criticism. Together, these resources help families grow in trust and understanding.
A call to act, not to wait
For women with low self-esteem, hesitation feels protective, but it’s the very barrier that keeps healing out of reach. The moment you find yourself doubting whether to take that next step is the moment you most need to. As Lisa reminds her clients, “You don’t rebuild confidence by waiting until you’re sure. You rebuild it by acting while you’re still scared.”
Trust begins not with perfect certainty, but with courage. When women decide to seek help despite the doubts, despite the fear, that single act of self-trust marks the beginning of their freedom.
To explore private mentoring or a coastal escape with Lisa Skeffington and begin rebuilding trust in yourself and others, visit here to register your interest and take your first brave step toward healing.
Read more from Lisa Skeffington
Lisa Skeffington, Consultant Psychotherapist, Executive Coach & Mentor
Lisa Skeffington, Psychotherapist of the Year 2024/25 & 2025/26, is the leading light for wounded women worldwide. Her own personal story, from trauma to triumph, led her to dedicate her support to mid-life women and their families to heal their emotional wounds so that they feel enough as they are, break free from anxiety, and communicate confidently in healthy relationships. Over her 25 years in mental health, she has developed a unique psychological approach with a seamless blend of psychological therapies, which she calls psychodynamic mentoring. Based on the UK Dorset coast, Lisa runs exclusive coastal escapes and one-day events, helping women to remove the masks and thrive in their lives today, without excuse or apology.
