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When Being Good And Nice Works And When it Doesn't - 4 Situations and What a Doctor told me

Written by: Ilaria Storch, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 

What if you if lived in a city with more than 12 million people, in South America, and were asked to keep calm and carry on?

Sometimes I love big cities – the possibilities and offers are amazing, delivery and supermarkets are always open, you find a richness of people and culture, different ways of living, yet it never unplugs, even before our high-tech era. With my experience of also having spent some time in the country, and a small town at the beach, I noticed, even before the pandemic, that the triggers are mostly the same everywhere – maybe you carry the tension in your “big city” personality, even if you are visiting a small town, it happens with me often, and maybe you have a “small burgh” personality, and feel calm anywhere, whether on the subway, or watching the sunset.

Here I invite you to try something different: what if we retrieve the words good and nice. Pause. Don´t freak out yet. I am not saying to give up your power, your super energetic self, your action mode, desires, and decisions. What if you get to choose more frequently your answer to some of your challenges and get to select also which issues you want to deal with, or not. Loose the attitude, in some cases, and win your peace of mind – this can be priceless in the shift we are all going through.

Let me explain how you can put this into practice, with some examples of when good and nice works and when they don´t work:

1. It is good when you agree with someone to change timetable schedules and find a common ground that suits both of you.


When being too nice opens space for you to let people trod on you, then that is not good. This is a lifetime search for what will work for you, in your family life and professional life – I still find myself sometimes slipping into full-serving-everyone-mode, and then into full-free-it´s-my-life-mode – that happens and there are periods when you just get it right and all flows as you desire – write that down, so that you remember how to do it again, for your benefit – when you are well, good and nice will trickle naturally to others.

2. Imagine that acting good, or nice, will work as a mental spa – use these approaches as if they were internal relaxation places to go – where you put your fight fists down and just let what can be good wash up over you. Releasing the immediate need to decide, or answer back, if provoked. Of course, all this in situations where you are not at life risk of any sort.

3. Usually, to be respected and move ahead in the contemporary workspace, especially in the pandemic, where competition has increased, you are expected to be assertive, strong, pushy, and very proactive. Yet when you pause, or ask time out, it does not mean giving up. Good and nice can be used as a practice to not explode at the smallest setback, or day to day upsets – it can protect your health by helping you select what is worth discussing over.

4. Your opinions and work projects, yes, are to be defended, showed to your boss and the world – this is where you stand up to all your potential and are in aware mode to defend what you believe in – many times it calls for a stronger voice, clearer boundaries and explaining how your plan works.


Good and nice here might have to wait a little, yet remember to use your power and assertiveness in a manner that does not diminish other’s ideas to make yours look better – you are being strong and in full integrity!


What a doctor told me has changed, concerning the medical attitude, after the pandemic.


I asked a very well-known doctor in my city if the doctors felt different and if their attitudes had changed, in face of this pandemic, and she told me that she has seen that doctors have had to become more accessible and human – specifically with patients in ITU, where, because the virus is so contagious, no relative could see, or talk, to them. She said that many doctors were taking the family´s cellphone (duly sanitized and with gloves) and holding it in front on the patient (no hand contact at all), so that the relatives could have a video call and actually see their loved ones. I was very moved because sometimes you just feel patronized and silly when asking to see and know the status of things. This is amazing and adds to the gratitude and support that we may have towards the medical community.

Who says our human life is simple?


Can you see the beauty in this complexity? That you can switch to ‘simple’ by pausing a moment, acknowledging a little detail in the room you are in, noticing a plant, a cool pen, a smile in your heart, the rain, or sun outside the window – and even if you are in a not so fantastic venue – just being aware of how incredible your human body is: talking, thinking, speaking, interacting with others.

When you bond with good or nice – it does not mean you are giving up on your rights and duties, your desires, or whatever is going on.


It is you deciding that it can be a better day for you and those involved – that maybe, to them, you opened a window of that being possible.

In the huge city where I live, the traffic is intense, with cars, bikes, trucks, motorcycles, and so on, and a car sticker became popular here, it says: " kindness generates kindness" – especially when driving it is a very useful reminder that it is wise to keep it cool behind the wheels.

Keep your kind tools handy, use them when you feel it’s appropriate, and if it is not resonating with the person, or situation, you are dealing with, walk away into your mental relaxation spa, hands in pocket, protecting your health and knowing you can feel good and at home, wherever you are.

I am a connection coach to women, expats, and nomads – the fact that I live in South America will help you by letting me show you other perspectives, in how to live and do things differently, shine a light of gratitude into what is working for you and help you connect, thrive, and find more energy wherever you are!

Remember to get your “Free 7 Tips to Feel at Home Anywhere” on the site:

ILA at Life Coach Nomads

Your Connection Coach




You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit my website for more info!


 

Ilaria Storch, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Ilaria Storch, a Life Coach Nomad, is the creator of Life Coach Nomads, where she shares her passion for travel and for inspiring people everywhere to access their true center and find more connection and energy on the way to more joy, fun, and fulfillment. She practices that following your emotions, wrapped up in a personal structure that can connect your goals, desires, and love, is the path to all real and true growth. Wherever you are, change is nomadic by essence, and it takes time, support and starts inside you when you absolutely desire to develop yourself and move on. She has a Bachelor´s Degree in Advertising, speaks many languages, won a Fashion Illustration Award during College, and loves coaching her clients towards their expressive life journey.

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