Written by: Behnaz Zeraatgar, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you noticed that no matter what age you reach, we talk about age as something that determines how life is supposed to look like for us? I’m 40 now, I can’t dress like that, I’m 18 now I should have had my first boyfriend by now, I’m 50 now and should be in a committed relationship now. I’m 60 now, I can’t go out to a club dancing.
The British salsa dancer Paddy Jones, 88 years old, showed everyone her amazing dancing skills on Britain’s got talent and left everyone’s jaw hanging. The actor, director and producer Clint Eastwood show us at the age of 91 how sharp he still is, and in recent years produced great movies and still acts.
Hilary Swank 48 years old gave recently birth to twins, Janet Jackson gave birth to her first child at the age of 49 and Helen Moris gave birth at the age of 52.
90-year-old Solveig the first woman in Scandinavia that achieved 7 dan in Judo/ black belt is still active in Judo and has been active in over 60 years.
Football player Cristiano Ronaldo, 38 years old shows everyone that you don’t need to retire as a football player at the typical age (the average age is 35 and the average length of a football career has been between 8-10 years). Still in great shape.
The average life expectancy in the world was 2022 over 70 years compared to 1920 when it was 50 years. Time is changing but our view of age still hasn’t changed as much as needed.
How much do we let age determine our lives? and how come among our first questions to people still is “how old are you?” Does age really tell us the most important thing about a person? I have met 40-year-olds that are extremely immature and 26-year-olds that are gracefully mature.
With that said it’s not our age (the time we have lived in our physical bodies) that determine our level of maturity but our life experiences and how we use our experiences to grow and evolve. The level of commitment we put in our self-development and invest in becoming the best version of ourselves.
In this article, I aim to give another perspective on aging and time and perhaps this can help you embrace a richer life, embrace the fact that we are more our energy and our mindset than our age and that we don’t always need to think in terms of young or old and early or late.
Dress the way you want and the way you feel most empowered
Have you ever opened your closet and had difficulties deciding what to wear because you are thinking about who you will meet that day or what you are doing that day more than what you would like to wear? Or stood in a store liking an item but thinking this is not appropriate because of your age? We all know that our clothes do represent us and why we sometimes have that in mind but when we start letting society decide even something as personal as our clothes, we lose our power and confidence.
Take up the activities and sports that you feel most joyful with
Do you have thoughts like “I can’t take up this hobby or this sport at my age?” This is a common one and I know most of us have at one time or another had those thoughts. The fact is often after having had thoughts such as “This is not something I can start with at this age”, 5 years or 10 years later we tend to think; “but I should have started with this 5 years ago/10 years ago” and now thinking like this about something else. This just tells us how much time and energy we actually put into thinking instead of doing it. How about you do an inventory of activities/sports/hobbies of all kinds you would like to take on and decide to start with one of them today?
Choose friends you are aligned with instead of most near in age
Who do you laugh the most with? I know for me it has not always been with people of the same age, sometimes, sometimes not. Of course, a lot of times people who are in the same life period tend to have the most in common and that can make you aligned but it’s not necessarily always the case. That’s why we need to see our fellow human beings as they are and not fixate on age and other attributes first and foremost.
If you are not satisfied with your line of work, change
It’s easy to think for other people and think thoughts such as "no one will hire me because I'm at this age" or "I have never worked with this", but the fact is you create your own reality. Do an inventory of your skills or jobs you would feel more passionate about or most suited for. Don’t let your age determine where you work and what you put your time and energy into.
Travel to the destinations you always wanted
I read about an older man telling since he still loves to travel, he is getting help from a travel agency to able him to travel regardless of his body’s condition. It was inspiring to read it. Traveling is possible even when we become older. We just need to arrange some things in another way than we have been used to. Maybe our needs look different as well but traveling is possible no matter our age.
Love on that beautiful being you see in the mirror
Regardless of the wrinkles or the grey hair you see in the mirror, SEE that beautiful SOUL in the mirror and embrace that the external look changes like everything else in life and embrace this fact. Even when our society highlights George Clooney’s handsome salt n pepper hair, but as a woman people can rise their eyebrows when a woman doesn't dye her hair. Andy MacDowell raised a significant point about the perception of aging women in our society and said it perfectly “ Aging is not about losing your beauty. I really don’t feel like I’m losing my beauty, I just feel like it’s a different kind of beauty”.
Become aware of the limiting beliefs you hold
Finally, becoming aware of our thoughts and which thoughts to ignore makes it possible to live fully and truly. I’m not saying it’s always easy and demands consistent work. The limiting beliefs you hold are reflected in your thoughts. Maybe thoughts about how age makes it difficult to achieve a certain goal or how you can no longer build up a fit body because of your age. These are the thoughts you need to become aware of and refocus from and instead live life authentically and set your goals and go after the dreams you hold regardless of what age you have.
Behnaz Zeraatgar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Behnaz Zeraatgar is a licensed Psychotherapist with a masters degree in psychology and and a master of medical science with a major in Psychotherapy. She works with approaches such as MCT and CBT but also other approaches that are aligned with the clients needs. Zeraatgars conviction is that we have the capacity to change destructive patterns and her greatest passion is to decrease suffering and transition towards personal growth and a life of purpose.
