Written by: Ilaria Storch, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Communication varies across the globe. Even when it seems one is being pushed into a monochromatic and pasteurized way of thinking and doing things, each group greets, lives, and communicates differently. And when you travel to foreign lands, you can act accordingly, to lovingly interact better.
And what about the more delicate waters to navigate? At home, with loved ones and specifically your partner? Occasionally, the boundaries get blurred, and the proximity makes you forget that there are two individuals trying to connect, build a life together and make things work. Plus have fun!
To avoid feeling like a nomad and a stranger in your closest relationship, here are two tips to help you communicate better, creatively, and leave the nomad life to great travel together and the exciting part.
1. Avoid starting the sentences with “you.”
It sometimes takes many years to find which words sound best to get your feelings and messaging through – and the word “you” is usually in the spotlight. Yes, it is wonderful when you start a sentence with it, that means a compliment, when one says, for example: “you are amazing,” “you are my light,” and “you are so intelligent and funny!”
Yet many times, specially in long-term relationships, friendships, family and even with your children, small or adults, starting off with a “you” when needing to explain a feeling or asking for something, can be received as tough criticism, and not constructive.
For example, saying “you left the wet towel on the couch,” “the door open,” “you did not study enough for the test,” and so on, will be immediately received with resistance, and maybe a big shrug and nothing done. Even at the office, saying “you´re late with this project,” may even delay it even more. I´m not saying some straightforward communication is needed in some situations – it is – and it is also a chance for the person on the other end, receiving the message, to clear things up and do some self-evaluation on how to improve. Connection and collaboration thrive on clarity, responsibility, the will to understand and grow lovingly.
That said, try starting the sentences with the issue you need to address, instead of “you.” Some examples: “when I see the wet towel on the couch (or bed), I feel like its extra work having to then clean up, dry the place twice.” About the door issue: “as we have puppies (or live in the city, or it´s too hot, cold), when I find the door open it makes us vulnerable to these issues.” And always remember to thank each other for listening and for agreeing on trying to do better.
2. Meet halfway and remember to keep it light.
When you have agreed to a solution that benefits all involved, maybe it can even take some time to implement it, remember to end the talk on a good note. You may even leave the room dancing and celebrating if you are so inclined. In times of short and fast communication, and now with the arrival and popularization of artificial intelligence, we are sometimes forgetting that deeper issues to achieve a better co-living, co-parenting and co-working, is not magically solved by the prefix “co” – it takes reaching out to the human in front of you – if possible, personally – knowing what is going on and having a heartfelt talk on what each person needs and is feeling.
Remember the fulfilling time together, renew, tweak it and replicate for growth and joy.
Sharing a great trip together, as well as your life, or even moments with a person you admire and feel at ease with, is one of the great joys there is – whether a friend, a partner, your kids, a colleague at work, do your best to keep the journey smooth and surprising, and always thriving.
Life is Nomadic by Essence!
These are useful tips for everyday communication and being creative to find the best in you and your partner. Of course, if you think you or your loved one needs immediate help and is struggling with some kind of physical or mental condition, temporarily or not, please seek professional medical help, so that the couple can benefit from a physician´s assessment of the situation.
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See you inside!
Ilaria Storch, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ilaria Storch, a Life Coach Nomad, is the creator of Life Coach Nomads, where she shares her passion for travel and for inspiring people everywhere to access their true center and find more connection and energy on the way to more joy, fun, and fulfillment. She practices that following your emotions, wrapped up in a personal structure that can connect your goals, desires, and love, is the path to all real and true growth. Wherever you are, change is nomadic by essence, and it takes time, support and starts inside you when you absolutely desire to develop yourself and move on. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Advertising, speaks many languages, won a Fashion Illustration Award during College, and loves coaching her clients towards their expressive life journey.
