Written by Susan L Williams, Clinical Hypnotherapist
Dr. Susan L. Williams, also known as Dr. Sue, is a pioneering clinical hypnotherapist with a unique expertise spanning athletes, sports teams, executives, and entrepreneurs. In her thriving practice, now in its fourth year, Dr. Sue employs innovative hypnotherapy techniques to help athletes overcome barriers such as negative mindsets, limiting beliefs, and the psychological impact of injuries and setbacks.
Working with a demanding coach can be one of the most challenging aspects of an athlete's journey. These coaches often push you beyond your limits, setting high expectations and demanding excellence. While their approach can lead to incredible results, it can also feel overwhelming without the right mindset and tools. The good news? With the right strategies, you can not only survive under their guidance—you can thrive.
The double-edged sword of demanding coaches
Demanding coaches bring intensity to their training methods, and for good reason. They see potential in their athletes that even the athletes themselves may not recognize. This “tough love” approach is designed to prepare you for the pressures of competition, helping you build resilience and achieve more than you thought possible.
However, the same methods that drive success can also create stress, self-doubt, and burnout if not managed effectively. Understanding the dynamics of this relationship is the first step toward turning the challenge into an opportunity for growth.
Reframing the demanding coach dynamic
The key to thriving with a demanding coach is to reframe how you view their approach. Instead of seeing their intensity as criticism or personal judgment, recognize it as a tool for development. A demanding coach often has one primary goal: to see you succeed.
Here are some practical ways to navigate and embrace their coaching style:
1. Build mental resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and stay focused under pressure. With a demanding coach, this skill is essential. You can build resilience by practicing visualization and mindfulness exercises.
Visualization: Mentally rehearse challenging scenarios, such as receiving tough feedback, and visualize yourself responding calmly and constructively.
Mindfulness: Techniques like deep breathing exercises or grounding practices can help you manage stress and stay present during intense training sessions.
2. Turn feedback into fuel
Receiving feedback—especially blunt or critical feedback—can feel discouraging. The key is to focus on the message, not the delivery.
Reframe Criticism: Instead of thinking, “My coach is too harsh,” shift your perspective to, “What can I learn from this feedback?”
Ask Clarifying Questions: If feedback feels vague, ask for specifics. For example, “What part of my performance needs the most improvement?”
3. Strengthen communication
Clear communication is vital for building a positive relationship with your coach. Learning how to express your thoughts assertively and respectfully can transform the dynamic.
Use “I” Statements: For example, “I feel more confident when feedback includes specific suggestions for improvement.”
Be Open to Collaboration: Show your coach that you value their guidance by engaging in constructive dialogue about your goals and challenges.
Learn more about improving athlete-coach communication in this sports psychology article.
4. Create a supportive inner voice
Your internal dialogue plays a huge role in how you handle external pressures. A supportive “inner coach” can help you stay focused and confident, even when your external coach is pushing you hard.
Replace negative self-talk (e.g., “I can’t do this”) with empowering statements like, “I’m learning and improving every day.”
Reflect on your strengths and past achievements to remind yourself of your capabilities.
Practical strategies for thriving under pressure
To truly thrive under a demanding coach, it’s important to implement practical tools that support your mental and emotional well-being.
Set personalized goals
While your coach may have high expectations, setting your own short- and long-term goals ensures you stay aligned with your personal aspirations. Use the SMART Goal Framework to make your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
Develop a pre- and post-game routine
Routines help you stay grounded and consistent. A solid pre-game routine, including visualization and warm-ups, prepares you for peak performance, while a post-game routine allows you to reflect, recover, and reset.
Prioritize rest and recovery
Demanding coaches may push you to train harder, but it’s equally important to listen to your body and take rest days when needed. Recovery strategies are not a sign of weakness—they’re a key part of sustainable success.
Real-life inspiration: Athletes who thrive
Many world-class athletes have shared how they’ve turned tough coaching relationships into catalysts for success. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps often credited his demanding coach, Bob Bowman, with pushing him to achieve greatness. Bowman’s relentless focus on discipline and precision helped Phelps win 28 Olympic medals.
The common thread in these stories? Athletes who succeed under demanding coaches find ways to align their mental strength with their coach’s high expectations, turning pressure into progress.
Conclusion: Your path to thriving
Working with a demanding coach isn’t easy, but it’s an opportunity to grow stronger, more resilient, and more focused. By building mental resilience, embracing feedback, and strengthening communication, you can turn challenges into stepping stones toward success.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into these strategies, check out my online course Your Inner Coach – Thriving Under Pressure. It’s packed with guided exercises, hypnosis tracks, and practical tools to help you build confidence and achieve peak performance. You can find it here.
For even more insights, grab a copy of my ebook Resilient Performance: Thriving with Demanding Coaches on Kobo.
Success isn’t just about working harder—it’s about working smarter, building resilience, and staying true to your goals. Let’s thrive together.
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Susan L Williams, Clinical Hypnotherapist
Dr. Susan L. Williams, also known as Dr. Sue, is a pioneering clinical hypnotherapist with a unique expertise spanning athletes, sports teams, executives, and entrepreneurs. In her thriving practice, now in its fourth year, Dr. Sue employs innovative hypnotherapy techniques to help athletes overcome barriers such as negative mindsets, limiting beliefs, and the psychological impact of injuries and setbacks. She also empowers executives and entrepreneurs to overcome self-doubt and ingrained limitations, guiding them towards achieving a 'millionaire mindset'. Her approach shows that hypnosis caters to different audiences and the core methods are complementary and equally transformative.
