The Truth About Living A Fulfilled Life ‒ 5 Things You Wish You Knew Earlier

Written by: Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

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A Quarryman was fed up with his backbreaking work. One day, he threw his tools down in frustration and wished for the riches of the city life, with a skyscraper apartment where he could enjoy luxury and sleep all day. Just as suddenly as he thought it, an angel came down and granted his wish. And he became rich. Afterwards, while looking out of his window down into the streets below, he was blinded by the glistening carriage of the king who passed with his large entourage. The Quarryman became frustrated and wished that he could have the power of the king. As he wished it, the angel made it so.

Then one day, while enjoying his new power, he suddenly felt small and inferior. He looked at the sun in the sky and was amazed by how it could turn the fields from green to brown. He was amazed by its power to vaporise rivers and starve the world of life. And once again, he wished he was the sun.

And he became the sun. Until he noticed a big black rain cloud nullifying the sun’s power and bringing everything back to life. Frustrated again, he wished he was the cloud, and he became the cloud. Then, as he rained down as on earth and reversed the sun’s work, he saw rock —strong and unyielding — unmoved by his rain. So he wished to be a rock, and he became a rock. He celebrated his power and sense of permanence. He loved his ability to withstand everything until one day, a Quarryman came.

Are you feeling like something is missing in your life? Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions, but don't really know what it is that you're working for? At some point in our lives, we are all Quarrymen. So many people today are struggling to find meaning and fulfilment. But the good news is that it doesn't have to be this way. You can live a fulfilled life! I'm going to share with you some of the truths about living a fulfilled life. But first, what does being fulfilled mean?

1. Understand what you mean by fulfilment

The Cambridge dictionary describes fulfilment as “feeling happy because you are getting everything that you want from life.” A definition from Merriam-Webster describes it as “feeling that one's abilities and talents are being fully used” or “providing happiness and satisfaction.” Yet the Quarryman in us can never be satisfied so, from that perspective, lasting fulfilment —according to Cambridge’s definition— is unattainable. I much prefer the Merriam-Webster definition of the utilisation of abilities because it is more wholesome. However, it is still missing the secret sauce. So, for this article, let us consider fulfilment to mean a sense of wholeness, a feeling that you are complete in and of yourself, that there is nothing more that you need if your life to make you feel fulfilled because of where you are in this moment, anything more will not make you feel happier.

2. Deeply appreciate the small things

Many of us know the importance of appreciating the small things in life. But sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in the habit patterns of the day-to-day grind that we forget to take a step back and really appreciate all the good that's happening around us now. People who feel fulfilled often consider the simplest things that they really appreciate, like cool air in the sweltering heat, a hot drink on a frost day, a friend who listens, or the unconditional love of a family member. If this does not come naturally straight away, don’t worry, it may take a little effort at first, but soon it will become a habit.

3. Serve others generously

People who are fulfilled are often in service to others. When the preoccupation with our “selves” diminishes, we begin to feel more whole. It is a paradox of sorts. I believe that this is because a deep part of us knows that we are part of something bigger. Service to others may be in your work, vocation, or charity. Fulfilled people who serve others can be described as fearlessly generous. Being able to give without expectation and not letting fear of rejection or being seen hold you back from being kind and compassionate. When you operate from a space of fearless generosity, you are recognising the interconnected nature of life and willing to give with less “self”. You may find that doors open for you that were once closed, and you may experience more joy than ever before.

4. Commit to lifelong learning

Fulfilled people are curious and love learning for its own sake. Indeed the International Handbook of Lifelong Learning cites the role of lifelong learning to be greater than just the acquisition of skills and training. It is an integral part of our sense of satisfaction. If there's one thing that we can assert with confidence is that the world is always changing, and we can say that consciousness is ever-expanding. And with this change comes new opportunities for discovery. One key to fulfilment lies in committing to lifelong learning ‒ something that's essential for both personal and professional development and bringing that sense of completeness to one’s life.

5. Remember, fulfilment is the fruit of practice

Finally, it may be helpful to see fulfilment as the benefit that arises from practising some of the steps mentioned above. Psychologists Professor Willibald Ruch and Doris Baumann show that fulfilment is not a luxury but integral to our wellbeing. See fulfilment as a lifelong practice of growth. As you expand, your practice of these activities continues to grow and fills the space that resulted from your growth, so that you always feel a sense of wholeness and a direct connection with everything and everyone and everything in the world around you.

(Credit: The Quarryman, The Magic of Metaphor by Nick Owen)

Want to create a new story for your life? Follow Calvin for more on stories, mindfulness and poetry on his YouTube channel, connect with him on Instagram or visit his website for more.

Read more from Calvin!

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Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Calvin Niles is a communication coach known as The Mindful Storyteller, making a positive impact on the lives of leaders, entrepreneurs, coaches, and wider society through his services and products. Through his experience in mindfulness, storytelling, coaching, and business, he empowers others to be authentic and impactful in their communication. Calvin has worked with hundreds of people from leaders in large corporates to SMEs, and from solopreneurs to some of the top 10 charities in the UK.