The Role of Attachment Styles in Relationships
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
Nandir Temlong is licensed clinical social worker and change management consultant. She is the founder and CEO of iXhale wellness center where she offers a comprehensive approach to fostering wellness for individuals, groups, and organizations as they navigate major changes and mental health challenges.
Attachment styles, rooted in early life experiences, play a powerful role in how we form and sustain relationships. These styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, affect how you approach closeness, trust, and conflict resolution.
For example, individuals with a secure attachment style tend to feel confident and balanced in their relationships, navigating challenges with openness and trust. In contrast, those with anxious or avoidant styles may struggle with fear of abandonment, overdependence, or emotional withdrawal. These challenges can create barriers to connection.
Recognizing your attachment style is the first step toward building healthier relationships. Once you understand your patterns, you can work to develop habits and strategies that align with your values. This strengthens your ability to connect with others authentically.
The impact of comparison on connections
In today’s hyper-connected world, the temptation to compare yourself to others is constant. Social media, professional achievements, and even family dynamics can create an illusion of perfection, making you feel as though your efforts or relationships fall short.
Comparison often undermines your self-worth. It leads to jealousy, insecurity, or dissatisfaction in your relationships. It is important to remember that every relationship is unique. Comparing yours to someone else’s is like comparing different journeys with entirely different contexts.
Shifting your focus from external validation to personal growth helps combat the negative effects of comparison. Instead of measuring your relationships against others, reflect on what you value in your connections and how you can nurture them. This inward focus strengthens your confidence and reduces the emotional toll of unnecessary comparisons.
Self-worth and confidence as the foundation of healthy relationships
Your sense of self-worth profoundly influences the quality of your relationships. When you view yourself through a lens of inadequacy, it can create a cycle of seeking approval, overcompensating, or settling for less than you deserve in your connections.
Confidence is not about arrogance. It is about recognizing your intrinsic value and embracing your imperfections. When you approach relationships with self-worth, you are less likely to tolerate unhealthy behaviors and more likely to set boundaries that honor your emotional well-being.
Building self-worth requires intentional effort. Practices such as affirmations, self-reflection, and seeking support can help you identify and challenge negative self-perceptions. Over time, this inner work enhances your ability to show up authentically in relationships. It fosters deeper and more meaningful connections.
Bridging the gap between personal and professional relationships
Whether in your personal life or professional environment, the dynamics of relationships often share common themes. Trust, communication, and mutual respect are universal building blocks that transcend contexts. However, the stakes and expectations can differ.
In professional settings, understanding your attachment style and maintaining confidence is crucial for building collaborative and productive partnerships. In personal relationships, fostering self-worth and managing comparisons can create the emotional safety needed for deeper intimacy and connection.
By applying these principles across all relationship types, you create a cohesive approach to relating that enriches every area of your life.
Your path to stronger relationships
Building healthier relationships starts with understanding yourself. By exploring your attachment style, confronting the effects of comparison, and nurturing your self-worth, you can create connections rooted in authenticity and mutual respect.
If you are ready to deepen your understanding of these concepts and learn actionable strategies to transform your relationships, my book Mindset: How to Break Free from the Constraints of Limiting Beliefs is the perfect guide. It offers practical tools to help you enhance self-awareness, boost confidence, and navigate the complexities of modern relationships.
Additionally, we are offering a six-week program to support you in this journey. Available as a self-study or live course, this program dives into the practical steps for building healthier personal and professional connections, managing stress, and fostering a growth mindset.
Visit our website today to explore these resources, grab your copy of Mindset, and join the program. Take the first step toward transforming your relationships and your life.
Read more from Nandir Temlong
Nandir Temlong, Psychotherapist, Coach & Change Management Consultant
Nandir Temlong, the CEO and Founder of iXhale Wellness Center, is a psychotherapist, coach, and change management consultant with over a decade of experience in mental health, coaching, and change management consulting. Nandir's expertise is rooted in both professional and personal experiences dealing with changes in life and the workplace. With an extensive clinical background, Nandir works with individuals facing mental health challenges, coaches on identity and mindset, and collaborates with organizations to provide training on topics such as emotional intelligence.
