The Power in the Pause That Never Came – 8 Lessons on Rebuilding, Reflection, and Realignment
- Brainz Magazine
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Tamara Mitchell-Davis is an award-winning, multi-best-selling author and the host of the Pen to Profit Annual Conference and Awards event.
As a child, I couldn’t wait to become an adult. I thought adulthood meant freedom, the chance to make my own decisions, create my own success, and live life on my own terms. But what I didn’t realize was that adulthood also came with endless responsibility. For years, I lived as if I were racing against time, constantly chasing the next goal, the next achievement, the next “win.”
I’ve worked since I was fourteen. I’ve always been the type to juggle multiple jobs, degrees, and dreams all at once. That drive served me well until it didn’t. Because when you’re so focused on the destination, you can miss the journey unfolding right in front of you.
A year ago, in 2024, I was laid off from my management role after almost 13 years of service. I remember feeling a mix of anger, disappointment, and disbelief. Angry that my business wasn’t as sustainable as I hoped. Disappointed that I didn’t have a backup plan. I was frustrated because my goal was always to lean fully into entrepreneurship to make my purpose my paycheck, but I was still juggling, managing, and trying to figure things out.
But that moment of loss became a mirror. It showed me not what I lacked, but what I needed to learn.
It taught me that even visionaries can burn out. Fear and doubt can sit at the intersection of our decisions. That passion alone doesn’t build sustainability systems, strategy, and support. And that the same grit that built my success could also keep me stuck in survival mode if I wasn’t careful.
So, while I didn’t get the “pause” I thought I needed, life forced me to reassess. Reassess relationships. Reassess my goals. Reassess my purpose. I’m now back in higher education, serving as a Dean and college professor while simultaneously rebuilding my business with a new mindset and outlook on life. I’m a wife, a mother, and now a proud grandmother. And through it all, I’ve learned that alignment is far more important than acceleration.
Here are 8 reflections that changed how I lead, work, and live:
Acknowledge how far you’ve come: We move through life so fast that we rarely pause to celebrate the progress we’ve already made. Gratitude grounds you in the present and helps you lead from clarity, not comparison.
Stop pouring from an empty cup: Service is sacred, but it should never come at the cost of your well-being. You cannot pour from an empty cup, pour from the overflow. Prioritize your peace, your health, and your healing.
Build mutually beneficial relationships: Your circle matters. Make sure your relationships pour back into you as much as you pour into them. It may not always be perfectly balanced, but it should be built in alignment and harmony. The right connections don’t drain you, they develop you.
Redefine “doing enough”: For ambitious women, “enough” can feel like a moving target. But busyness doesn’t always equal progress. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is pause, breathe, and reset your priorities.
Learn the lesson, not the label: Being laid off didn’t mean I failed. It meant I was being redirected. I learned that every ending carries an invitation to grow wiser, to pivot differently, to rebuild stronger. It doesn’t mean you are starting from scratch, you are rebuilding with experience.
Protect your peace like an asset: Peace is not passive, it’s powerful. It allows you to make sound decisions, stay grounded in uncertainty, and lead from wisdom rather than worry.
Trust the slow seasons: We live in a culture that glorifies speed, but sustainability grows in the soil of patience. The slow seasons are where roots deepen, skills strengthen, and faith matures.
Lead with alignment, not approval: The moment I stopped proving, overgiving, and overextending and started operating in my truth, everything changed. Clarity came. Opportunities opened. My focus changed. Connections appeared.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over this past year is that reflection isn’t a luxury, it’s a leadership tool. Whether in business or life, clarity comes when you make time to process, not just produce.
I used to believe that if I worked harder, I’d finally “arrive.” Now, I understand that purpose isn’t a destination, it’s a rhythm. And peace isn’t something you chase, it’s something you create daily.
I still wear many hats, dean, professor, CEO, author, wife, mother, daughter, glamma, friend. My schedule hasn’t slowed down, but my spirit has found stillness. I’ve learned how to find moments of pause within motion to be present, even in the middle of progress.
Here’s a journal reflection prompt for you. If I stopped rushing to “get there,” what would I allow myself to enjoy right now? Because the truth is, peace and progress can coexist. When you give yourself permission to slow your pace, you make space for wisdom, healing, and a new direction.
If you’re reading this and find yourself in a season of transition, maybe rebuilding after loss, redefining your goals, or reimagining what’s next, I want you to know this, "You’re not behind. You’re being refined."
Every challenge you’ve faced is preparing you for the chapter you’re stepping into. Don’t despise the detour, it might just be leading and paving the way for your next journey.
You’ve carried so much for so long. You’ve shown up for everyone else. Now it’s time to show up for yourself with the same faith, focus, and fire you’ve poured into others.
If this message spoke to your spirit, I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your own story, what it’s teaching you, and where it’s leading you next. Then, come share your reflections with me inside the LegacyBuildHERS Collective, a community where women are writing, rebuilding, and realigning their lives and businesses with purpose.
Visit my website to learn more about our coaching programs, collaborations, and resources.
Read more from Tamara Mitchell-Davis
Tamara Mitchell-Davis, Queen Visionary | Book Coach and Consultant
Tamara Mitchell-Davis, widely known as Queen Visionary, is a powerhouse in storytelling, authorship, and business growth. After taking nearly a decade to write her first book, she transformed that experience into a thriving enterprise that empowers women to write with purpose and profit. As the founder of TM Davis Enterprise and creator of the Pen to Profit™ Method, she’s helped over 140 authors become bestsellers and build platforms that create impact, influence, and income. Her mission is to help women own their story, build a legacy, and rise, without sacrificing their voice or vision.
