The Many Shades Of Grieving
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 1, 2021
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 17, 2024
Written by: Carole Sanek, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Tomorrow is never promised, yet we dance through life ignoring that reminder, but then it happens. The music stops playing, and there is no dancing because you cannot dance when you are brought to your knees.
"Life is the dancer, and you are the dance" — Eckhardt Tolle.
I don’t believe Tolle was in line with my interpretation of what he said because when you take his quote deep into your think tank, you can put many different interpretations to it, and you would be right. There are many ways to peruse it.
I am a spiritual person. It is not a religion to be spiritual. Spirituality is about who I am, period. My husband died, and for a long time, there was no dancer and no music. I had hit that wall of tomorrow not being promised, and it was as if I had taken a blow to the head that left me with a traumatizing brain injury. But it wasn’t a blow to my head, it was a blow to my heart, and my heart was traumatized for almost a year.
I saw a therapist, and I am so grateful that she recognized that I was teetering on the edge of complicated grief, and I got help.
Yet, I know everyone is grieving something or someone. Grief isn’t just about the death of someone you love. There are many shades of grieving, and grief can lead to depression.
Grief and depression have similar symptoms.
Intense sadness
Insomnia
Poor appetite
Weight loss
Grief can also develop into complicated grief, which, unlike uncomplicated grief, doesn’t seem to get better with time and looks a lot like depression.
A diagnosis depends on the opinion of an expert in the field. If you or anyone you know has symptoms that cause you concern, make a call, get an appointment to talk with someone.
Too often, people think that those who grieve will just wake up one day and start the dance again, and everything will be just fine. It doesn’t happen that way. We heal from what we are grieving in different ways, and maybe we don’t heal at all because you see the music is different now, and we tend to trip over our own feet.
We are still here, but no matter what, life is the dancer, and we are the dance.
Carole Sanek, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Carole L. Sanek is a certified life coach specializing in personal coaching, with her specialty being working in grief. Carole is also an author, and her first book, “Fractured – Living with Grief,” launched 1/19/2021 and is available on amazon.com. Carole is especially excited that even though she was diagnosed 27 years ago with breast cancer, she wiped that slate clean and thrived on in her life. Reaching Carole is easy as she believes in transparency and authenticity and welcomes people to reach out to her.
