The Interview Setting – An Authenticity Trap for HSPs
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 24
- 6 min read
Written by Sinead Rafferty, Career & Alignment Coach
Sinéad Rafferty is a Career & Alignment Coach for highly sensitive people (HSPs), empaths & neurodivergent professionals. She has 17+ years of experience empowering the genius of others. Founder of The Purpose Pathway™ online course & community, she is passionate about the strength of high sensitivity & the impact of empathic leadership.
For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), interviews can feel more like psychological obstacle courses than authentic conversations. You're expected to perform confidence, enthusiasm, and certainty, often under fluorescent lights, rapid-fire questioning, and judgment masked as “culture fit.”
You might be deeply qualified. You might have vision, emotional intelligence, and creativity in spades. But your nervous system, already attuned to subtle dynamics in the room, can get overwhelmed. You might freeze, over-explain, or second-guess every word as you say it.
Your thought process is in overdrive, like fireworks shooting off in all directions. Not only are you focused on what is being asked, you are also picking up on the subtleties of body language, and you’re distracted by the answer you think they want to hear while managing the frustration of drawing a blank, even though you have hundreds of thoughts at play.
Our nervous systems are wired for deep processing and emotional resonance. We don’t just “perform” in an interview, we feel the dynamics in the room, sense the expectations, monitor micro expressions, filter the subtext, and try to stay aligned with our integrity.
Our cognitive bandwidth gets overloaded, and our ability to articulate complex or intuitive ideas, which we excel at in safe environments, can suddenly feel like trying to tune into a distant radio station. The signal is there, but it keeps slipping into static.
The result? The job goes to the louder, more polished candidate, and you're left wondering if you’re just not cut out for advancement.
But the truth is that the interview setting tends to reward performance over depth, and it does not reflect real-world capability.
So what happens to us HSPs in this setting?
When we’re watched, we change. This isn’t just anecdotal, it’s scientifically validated. In psychology, this is known as the Observer Effect, the phenomenon where a subject’s behaviour shifts simply because they’re aware of being observed.
For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) and Empaths, this experience is magnified. Already attuned to subtle shifts in tone, body language, and energy, we become hyper-aware under observation, triggering anxiety, self-doubt, or performance paralysis. This heightened internal surveillance isn’t about ego, it’s about emotional safety.
Linked closely is rejection sensitivity, a heightened emotional response to the possibility of being rejected, criticised, or misunderstood. This stems from a deep-rooted need for harmony, authenticity, and connection. When being observed, our internal radar can go into overdrive, scanning for subtle signs of disapproval, judgment, or misalignment.
This hyper-awareness can trigger a defensive state even before any actual criticism occurs. The creative process, which thrives in vulnerability and openness, can quickly shut down under this pressure. Expression becomes filtered, hesitant, or overly self-edited to avoid negative feedback or emotional discomfort. Over time, this fear of rejection, real or perceived, can erode confidence, diminish creative risk-taking, and lead to avoidance or procrastination.
Remember, you’re not wired to “play the part,” you’re wired to speak the truth. But that truth needs psychological safety to surface.
Understanding the impact of observation, and your response to it, is what will make all the difference.
Colouring outside the interview lines
Conventional advice encourages candidates to prepare for an interview using frameworks like the STARR technique (Situation, Task, Action, Result, Reflection), and while it is useful for formulating a story to communicate competence, methods like this tend to add to the pressure for deep thinkers.
Trying to squeeze nuanced, multidimensional experiences into perfectly linear responses can feel unnatural, like translating a rich, full-colour painting into black and white. For HSPs, whose strengths lie in nuance, depth, and synthesis, this style of preparation may lead to more anxiety, not less.
We are also taught about the importance of maintaining eye contact, which can be a real challenge for some HSPs and other neurodivergent profiles. Add to that the expectation to deliver answers in a polished, upbeat tone, regardless of how authentic it feels in the moment, it can create a sense of performance rather than genuine connection.
These rigid formats often fail to capture the true scope of an HSP’s value, the ability to connect ideas across disciplines, to sense what isn’t being said, and to offer innovative, human-centred solutions.
Instead of twisting yourself into a mould that doesn’t fit, you can approach interviews as an opportunity to honour your nature, protect your energy, and communicate from a place of clarity and strength.
10 ways HSPs can navigate interviews without losing themselves
The goal isn’t to become impervious to pressure, but to anchor into self-trust, build inner safety, and show up grounded in who you are.
Prepare differently: Instead of rehearsing answers word for word, anchor yourself in key themes, values, and examples that showcase your strengths. Think in terms of story arcs, not scripts. Identify three to four key themes or strengths you want to highlight, such as empathy, problem-solving, or creativity. Then, fit your examples to those themes so you can stay flexible and authentic in the moment.
Ground before you go in: Use grounding techniques or short visualisations to bring yourself to a calm, regulated state. Arrive feeling like yourself, not the version you think they want.
Regulate the nervous system: Try deep breathing techniques or gentle tapping on your chest or wrist. This calms the fight-or-flight response and helps you access your natural clarity.
Name the elephant (if appropriate): If you feel flustered or draw a blank, naming it lightly and authentically (“I have so many thoughts, it’s just about picking the right thread”) can reset the moment and humanise you.
Shift the frame: The interview is a conversation, not a test. You’re not auditioning for worthiness, you’re exploring fit and alignment. Remind yourself: I’m assessing them too. Reframe your experience from “How am I being perceived?” to “What truth do I want to express?”
Create recovery time: Schedule downtime before and after the interview to ground and recharge. HSPs need space to process, and rushing from task to task will only heighten overwhelm.
Align with environments that value you: If you consistently feel unseen or misunderstood in interviews, consider whether you’re applying to roles that genuinely align with your values, strengths, and way of thinking. Your difference is your edge, bring it where it’s welcome.
Use sensory and emotional detail sparingly: HSPs naturally add depth to stories, but too much can overwhelm the listener in a timed interview. Focus on one or two vivid details that showcase your depth without losing the interviewer in the richness of the narrative.
Build in a grounding pause: Before answering, take a slow breath and silently count to three. This moment of regulation gives your nervous system time to settle, helps you focus on the question at hand, and lets your natural insight come through clearly without rushing.
Choose roles that align with you: Yes, every interview offers practice and learning, but constantly chasing roles that don’t reflect your values, strengths, or vision will leave you drained before you’ve even begun. Misaligned interviews often end up confirming what you already knew deep down, that you didn’t want the role in the first place. As an HSP, your energy is precious. Direct it toward opportunities that feel authentic, inspiring, and worthy of your full presence. When you genuinely want the job, your enthusiasm, clarity, and alignment shine through.
Beyond the box: Finding spaces that fit you
It’s also worth asking, if the traditional interview setting doesn’t suit you, could it be because the traditional workplace doesn’t either?
If you’re a creative, intuitive, emotionally intelligent thinker who sees systems and solutions others miss, you might not thrive in environments that value conformity, speed, and surface-level wins.
This doesn’t mean you don’t belong, it might mean you're being called to forge a path that truly values your way of working. Perhaps you are a Trailblazer?!
If you decide to remain in The Matrix, that is, the more conventional, traditional workplace, you can play the game, offer your strengths, and thrive there. They may even eventually have to create a title for you.
But consider this, and I mean it as a reassuring thought, the matrix isn’t built for everyone, and that’s not a flaw. It’s a sign you were made for something different.
Your sensitivity, insight, and originality aren’t quirks to hide, they’re the exact tools you need to build the spaces where you, and others like you, can thrive.
Read more from Sinead Rafferty
Sinead Rafferty, Career & Alignment Coach
Sinéad is a visionary coach on a mission to uplift and empower the impactful contribution of purpose-driven and ambitious highly sensitive (HSP) & neurodivergent professionals. Passionate about the role of empathic leadership in today’s society, Sinéad sees sensitivity as a powerful force and one with great purpose. She guides her clients through an aligned and authentic approach to embodying sensitivity in meaningful ways so they can apply their innate skills and strengths to their work. Her unique approach aims to not only bring balance to the depth and intensity of the trait of high sensitivity but also to achieve truly original, creative, and evolutionary contributions in the world.
