The Hidden Cost of High Standards
- Feb 6
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 9
Jess Lapachinski is a mental performance consultant, writer, and founder of Victory Lap Mindset. She partners with athletes, coaches, and leaders to build the psychological skills needed for high-level performance.
High standards are often celebrated in leadership and sports, but when set without psychological safety, they can stifle growth. This article examines how perfectionism can harm high performers, leading to fear of failure and reduced confidence. It offers insights into how to create environments where athletes and leaders can thrive without losing their sense of self.
We often talk about the importance of high standards. But when it comes to leadership and performance, high standards can suffocate the good.
I see this in my work with athletes and high performers. Athletes who set a high bar for themselves often have complementary traits such as high levels of intrinsic motivation and personal accountability. They are internally driven to perform, they typically don’t need validation or external rewards to compete well.
This mindset can be an exceptional performance tool, but it can also be a burden.
Athletes with high standards appear to be thriving, they’ve got it all. The success, the accolades. But internally, they’re often tight and cautious, afraid to miss or make mistakes. This is fear of failure in action.
During the early stages of athletic development, confidence tends to come naturally. Athletes have relatively low expectations and a higher tolerance for mistakes. If learning the sport at a young age, good coaches encourage exploration and enjoyment over perfection.
As the level of competition increases, athletes become more visible. Comparison is front and center, not only in the form of playing time and opportunities, but in terms of brain development. As humans, it’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others. When we are young, we don’t have this instinct, yet it forms with time.
But as the consequences of performance increase, athletes become timid. They learn to second-guess their behaviors and mindset during performance. They try to make sense of their environment. Am I safe? Is this a threat? This is when many high-performing environments unintentionally break down.
When actions are evaluated, mistakes carry weight. Perfection becomes currency. There is a distinct difference between playing to win and playing to avoid making mistakes and experiencing the feeling of loss. This is a subtle shift, but it has an enormous impact on athletic performance.
Those high standards athletes set for themselves shift into who they are and how they describe themselves. When they become part of identity, athletes are in trouble.
The performance environment doesn’t do athletes any favors. Society and business demand winning now. This pressure erodes confidence.
Ultimately, high standards are not the enemy. But when they are enforced without psychological safety, they narrow performance. Athletes play tight. Confidence disappears when the nervous system learns that mistakes are dangerous. This results in athletes protecting themselves from failure.
The most sustainable high-performance environments understand this distinction. They hold athletes to high standards while protecting their sense of self from whatever the outcome may be.
Read more from Jess Lapachinski
Jess Lapachinski, Mental Performance Consultant
Jess Lapachinski is a mental performance consultant and founder of Victory Lap Mindset. After years in collegiate and independent school athletics, she recognized the growing need for psychological skills training that meets the rising pressures of modern sport. With advanced degrees in sport psychology and sport leadership, she blends research-backed methods with the practical insight of a former coach and athletic administrator. Jess helps high-performing athletes move beyond overthinking and performance anxiety by building confidence and psychological flexibility. She also partners with coaches and athletic programs to create environments where athletes feel supported and empowered to perform their best.
