The Great Why – God, Why Me? The Search for Meaning During Life’s Challenges
- Brainz Magazine
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Dr. Stacey Lamar is a seasoned nurse practitioner and healer. Author of Starseed, published in 2021, she developed The Forgiveness Factor, steps to complete self-healing and return to one's authentic self, mission, and purpose.
It is a common human reaction, when experiencing a time of stress or suffering, to return to faith for the answer to “why me?”
No human is exempt from times of suffering, yet the way one responds is unique. Trauma and stress create common physiological responses such as rapid heartbeat, fast breathing, and gastrointestinal distress, often referred to as the fight or flight syndrome, which over time will drain one’s physical being. Trauma and stress also create psychological responses that are patterned and often based on our upbringing. These responses may include turning to faith as a coping mechanism. There are many theories that address stress responses, and interestingly, many prominent theorists and healers have developed strategies after being challenged by difficult personal events.
Psychological theories may help remove faith from painful events, choosing a framework designed to restore order or balance in a situation. A simple cause-and-effect approach to shed light on the why. While faith-based explanations of suffering tend to promote resilience and offer hope in disparate circumstances, they often identify the event as a test of faith or divine intervention.
Psychologist Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and founder of logotherapy, posits that humans can endure almost any suffering if they can make sense of it.
Spiritual healer and author Louise Hay, a child rape and cancer survivor, created mind-body affirmation techniques and focused on one’s ability to self-direct healing.
For me, the great “why me?” began with a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) diagnosis as a middle-aged woman trying to make sense of how I became deeply entangled in abuse and sexual harassment in my workplace. It was in the depths of this dark event that I began a comprehensive life review, leading to the painful realisation that trauma and abuse were my repeating life patterns. Chaos and dysfunction were not anomalies. I was living in a persistent fight or flight.
As a seasoned nurse practitioner and healer specialising in women’s healthcare, I was oblivious to the world that was mine. It was during this life-breaking event that the great “why me?” was screamed, and in desperation, the answer flowed. And guess what. It wasn’t found in one specific theory. Nor was it clear or precise. The answer was dark and ugly. It was painful. It seemed too much for me to negotiate, leaving me to believe that I was too damaged to heal. But I had no choice. Failure was not an option. The start of a post-mortem of my life’s journey offered insight and opportunity to redirect my path toward a healthier future. It included putting situations into context, and religious experience was part of it.
In the darkness, I was reintroduced to very personal messages, long forgotten, voices in my head that had spoken to me and supported me from my earliest memories. Messages that returned to remind me that I have been protected from before birth. Messages from spiritual guardians that supported me at a tender age, well before any understanding of ego or even God. It was trauma that prompted the common question that started my healing journey, but it was a return to the voices that have spoken to me that shared the deeper understanding of why. It was an awakening to the energy of me, “I Am”.
As a healthcare provider, I understand energy and respect the energetic force of our human body. As a nurse-midwife, I delivered babies and witnessed the power of two human energies converging during the delivery process to successfully bring life into existence. I witnessed the transition of thousands of infants shifting from a fluid-filled environment to one that required the ability to breathe air effortlessly and unconsciously. I respect the power of body, mind, and spirit, and our ability to create wellness or dis-ease. Participating in the healthcare decisions of others is textbook training, but connecting with others at an unspoken energetic level, beyond algorithms, is true healing. Despite my professional skill and my natural healing abilities, I was broken. My personal healing required a complete reassessment of me, my gifts, and my challenges.
Healing is complex and unique, as unique as our fingerprints. To reduce it to a one-size-fits-all approach is a setup for failure. I purport that healing will not come solely from reading chapters of a book and comparing stories. Psychological theories and frameworks are wonderful templates that offer guidance and support. They teach us patterns in human conditioning. Religious frameworks offer faith-based explanations but are limited to interpretation by sect. Psychology and religion could not solely satisfy my search. It was the combination of conversations with experts and conversations in prayer and silence that opened me to long-silenced spiritual gifts and the deeper sense of purpose. Profound healing began. Healing that has sustained the test of time and answered the great “why me?” that once haunted me.
Whatever event prompts this difficult question, it is important to consider the readiness to accept all answers that will present, good, bad, and ugly. Any impulse to control the narrative must be avoided. This raw, honest question requires readiness to remain open to answers in preparation for further questions that will undoubtedly present themselves.
6 simple steps to start your healing journey:
Assess, journal, take notes, and log. Take time to write down thoughts, messages, and memories that return.
Develop a routine to go inward. Structured meditation and prayer.
Identify who you are. Your belief system, your foundation, and what makes you tick.
Seek professional guidance that feels right. Don’t settle.
Trust you. Trust your little voice within.
Always be gentle with yourself. You deserve it.
The answer to the great “why me?” is as unique as you are. What aligns with you does not have to be validated by others. Self-healing is strengthened when you stop seeking confirmation. It is empowering when you reach the point of understanding that only what feels correct within you matters. Your truth. Your purpose. Your return to your deeper sense of “I Am”.
If you would like more information or guidance on your healing journey, Dr. Stacey Lamar can be reached through her studio here.
Read more from Dr. Stacey Lamar
Dr. Stacey Lamar, Nurse Practitioner & Healer
Dr. Stacey Lamar is an experienced women's health provider who has risen from the ashes of childhood trauma and abuse in many forms to become a leader in assisting others to heal and return to their personal power. She is an author and successful business entrepreneur. Her healing strategy assists in the realignment of oneself to the origins of one's mission and purpose and the strengthening of body-mind-spirit to the collective consciousness.
