Jamie Dandar McKinney, MBA, is an award-winning coach and the best-selling author of Speak Up, Sister! The Professional Woman's Guide to Confidence and Success. Recognized as an Emerging Training Leader and a Top Woman in Energy, Jamie jokes that her stilettos have steel toes.
The first 100 days in a new role is an important milestone. It's a critical window for acclimating, cultivating relationships, and building a solid foundation for future success. I recently crossed the 100-day mark in my new role as a new mom and business owner.
As my baby girl turned triple digits, in days that is, I paused to reflect on the lessons I've learned during this precious time.
1. Time travel with my baby
As someone who enjoys a fast pace and is typically a go-go-go kind of gal, time slows down in a way I've never experienced when I'm with my baby. It's like stepping into a parallel universe where nothing exists besides us. When I'm nursing her, holding her, snuggling with her, tapping her chubby little cheeks and thighs, and seeing her smiles, I lose awareness of everything else. I've never experienced a feeling I can only describe as being in a bubble where the concept of time does not exist. Being present with her is the most magical gift I've ever received.
2. The superpower of a mom who loves her career
Want to find the most productive, time-efficient person on your team? Look for the mom fresh back from maternity leave. Why? Because every unproductive minute spent at work is a minute less spent with her baby. Throughout my career in heavily male-dominated industries, I was always impressed by the productivity and resilience of women returning to work after having a baby.
Now, finding myself in this phase of life, the push-pull of work time versus family time, I am incredibly thankful to truly love what I do for work. When spending time with my clients, I am focused, fascinated, and fulfilled there too. And it's a good thing because, as someone who primarily works from home, it admittedly takes discipline not to borrow the baby away from her nanny. Both my roles are rewarding and stimulating. I know I'm a better mom because I work, not although I work.
3. Embracing the chaos and letting go of perfection
Being a mom can literally and figuratively be quite a mess. Plans go awry, schedules turn into laughable aspirations, and you're operating on far less than a whole night's sleep. Even amidst the smiles and giggles, the disruptions can be pretty frustrating. While I am far from perfecting this, I am sure glad that this Type-A gal started working on her perfectionist tendencies when she did!
For example…There I was, nursing in the back seat of my husband's parked truck, feeling like I had everything under control. With military precision, I had timed the baby's feeding around a restaurant meal with a family friend. What I didn't account for was the inevitable—what goes in must come out. I'll spare you the dazzling details, but let's just say the adorable hot pink outfit the baby wore didn't stand a chance. After a massive cleanup effort and a wardrobe change, she was ready to go. Me? Not so lucky. My outfit became a casualty in what can only be described as a “crappy” situation.
An earlier, uptight version of me would have been horrified. The current, more flexible version laughed it off and embraced it for what it was, simultaneously considering only dark colors for the duration of her diaper-wearing days.
4. The joy of selective yes's and guilt-free no's
As an older mom in my 40s, I am grateful I said YES to experiences in my 20s and 30s. From professional opportunities that required long hours to personal invitations for spontaneous events, I checked many boxes. That list feels complete, allowing me to selectively say "no" to invitations now, allowing me to say "yes" to my baby girl—and feel zero FOMO about it.
5. The power of a simple "you got this"
Airports become a whole new adventure with a baby. By her second trip, however, Team McKinney felt fairly comfortable with our little travel buddy. When we landed in Detroit, however, it was time for a feeding, and with no better option available, I nursed her in the baggage claim area. Although it was a bit uncomfortable, and more privacy would have been excellent, another baby-toting mama walked by. She made eye contact, nodded at me, smiled, and said, "good job, mama." Her gesture conveying a sense of "you've got this" instantly gave me uplifting support and a reassuring sense of belonging.
This reflection, number 5 in particular, made me think—how can we, especially as working women, be better champions for each other? How can we recognize when another woman needs support and encouragement, not just with nursing but in professional situations too? How can we amplify support in daily activities such as giving presentations, asking for what we want, and helping each other think through new and promising ideas? A look, a few words, and a helping hand make a big difference. I invite you to take one action to do just that.
As a new mom, I am in awe of what we women do. The immense work of raising a baby is a beautiful, rewarding privilege. Loving your family, performing well at work, keeping it together some days, not so much on others, and hopefully smiling along the way—it's all part of the journey.
Every day, I am thankful that my baby chose me as her mom. I am thrilled to run a business that empowers women to thrive as their authentic selves and realize that the land of "perfect" is the most boring, frustrating place to be. I look through a well-traveled lens, prioritizing what I say yes and no. I am honored to be a woman who intentionally surrounds herself with a community of women (and men) centered on our confidence, grounded in our imperfections, and who are doing life together.
Together, we all rise.
Jamie McKinney, Leadership Coach l Speaker l Author
Jamie Dandar McKinney, MBA, is an award-winning coach and the best-selling author of Speak Up, Sister! The Professional Woman's Guide to Confidence and Success. Recognized as an Emerging Training Leader and a Top Woman in Energy, Jamie jokes that her stilettos have steel toes. After two decades in male-dominated industries, Jamie mastered building confidence as deliberately as building muscle and leading with authenticity. Through her dynamic programs—The 3 Pillars of Leadership and Speak UP to Level UP®—she empowers you to ditch doubts, amplify your voice, and propel your career. Get ready for results with Coach Jamie championing you!
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