The Fear of Becoming a Doula Is Not About Money
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Michelle Stroud is a holistic reproductive practitioner, doula educator, and reflexology and Reiki trainer with over 20 years of experience supporting women through fertility, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. She specializes in trauma-informed, client-centred care and holistic education.
Doula work rarely begins as a practical career plan. It begins as a pull. A recognition. A quiet knowing that doesn’t leave you alone. And almost immediately, fear follows. Fear of instability. Fear of responsibility. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of failing publicly. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of wanting something that doesn’t make sense on paper.
This article is not here to convince you to become a doula. It’s here to help you look honestly at what’s being asked of you, and why the fear exists in the first place.
A calling, not a calculation
People don’t come to doula work logically. They come because something in them responds to birth, to presence, to being with people in threshold moments. They fall in love with the work itself long before they know how it could ever fit into a life that requires income, stability, and responsibility.
Doula work asks for sacrifice. On-call time. Unpredictable hours. Emotional availability. Self-employment. There is no guaranteed paycheck, no benefits package, no clear ladder to climb.
So the question naturally arises:
Is this realistic?
Is this responsible?
Is this too risky?
These are not weak questions. They are adult questions.
The weight of responsibility
We live in a time where most households rely on two stable incomes just to get by. Many people don’t have savings to fall back on. Some support children, partners, or extended family. Leaving a “good job” can feel selfish, even if it slowly drains the life out of you.
There is also the quiet fear of exposure. Putting yourself out there as a doula means being seen. It means saying, “This matters to me,” without the protection of a title everyone understands. It means risking embarrassment. Trying something sacred and having it not work.
Watching others succeed can deepen that fear. You may think, They’re different. They’re confident. They’re built for this. I’m not. That story stops many people before they ever begin.
The myth about money
One of the most common beliefs is that people won’t pay out of pocket for doula care. That this work should be covered, subsidized, or treated as optional.
In reality, many families deeply value their doulas. They hire them again. They recommend them to friends. They remember them as one of the most important supports they had.
What’s often misunderstood is how many forms doula income can take.
Birth support is only one stream. Many doulas also offer prenatal education, postpartum care, breastfeeding support, fertility support, trauma-informed care, group classes, online resources, or complementary modalities such as reflexology, Reiki, yoga, herbs, or hypnosis. Sustainable doula work is rarely one-dimensional.
What actually creates sustainability
I’ve worked in doula-related care for two decades. I didn’t begin as a doula. I began as a reflexologist with a passion for supporting pregnancy. Fertility clients found me, and that work changed everything.
Those clients didn’t want to enter birth without someone they already trusted. That continuity made my doula practice full before I ever “marketed” it.
My income was consistent because I offered regular weekly sessions alongside birth work. I attended births, but I wasn’t relying on them to survive.
What mattered most was community. In-person networking. Relationships. Being known. Referrals are built on trust. Social media helped nurture existing connections, but it never built my business.
The doulas who succeed
The doulas who build sustainable practices tend to share some quiet traits. They keep learning. Their confidence grows because their skills grow.
They work on themselves. They address their own wounds instead of leaking them into their work. They invest in self-care because they understand regulation is part of the job. They show up in their communities even when they’re nervous.
They collaborate rather than compete. They value their work and charge accordingly. They keep overhead modest so their business doesn’t own them. Most of their investment is not in branding or ads, but in themselves.
Entrepreneurship is not employment
This work doesn’t end at five o’clock. Sometimes it’s intoxicating. Sometimes it’s lonely. Sometimes you’re up at four in the morning building something because you can’t do it. Sometimes you’re avoiding bookkeeping and answering emails because no one is making you.
It requires discipline and boundaries. It also offers creative freedom, intimacy, and meaning that employment rarely does.
If you’re called to this work, it may not leave you alone. That doesn’t mean you must answer it immediately. But it does invite an honest reckoning.
The deeper question
Being a doula is not just about making a living. It’s about becoming a version of yourself that is willing to stand in service, in presence, in uncertainty, and in devotion. It’s work that often feels ancient. Familiar. Bigger than a job description.
So the real question is not, can I make this work? It’s:
What part of me goes unheard if I don’t try?
What is the cost of ignoring what keeps calling?
If you feel that pull, the next step doesn’t have to be dramatic. Read. Listen. Attend conversations. Let yourself lean toward what wants your attention.
You don’t need to decide everything today. But you do deserve to be honest with yourself about what you’re being asked to become.
Indulge yourself by gently exploring birthwork through live online seminars with By the Moon.
Read more from Michelle Stroud
Michelle Stroud, Holistic Reproductive Practitioner & Doula Trainer
Michelle Stroud is a holistic reproductive practitioner, doula educator, and healing arts trainer with over 20 years of experience supporting families through fertility, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. She is the founder of By the Moon, a training school offering holistic doula, reflexology, and Reiki education. Michelle’s work focuses on informed consent, emotional regulation, and bridging evidence-based care with holistic and spiritual support.
