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Six Steps To Happiness

Written by: Tonya Rutter, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Happiness is a massive industry in the world. For some, the key to happiness has been found, the door unlocked, and unity abounds. For many, happiness is an elusive feeling that needs to be chased and only pops up for short moments of time.

Pretty much everything we do is in the pursuit of happiness, whether it’s pursuing relationships, money, sex, drugs, youth, vitality, health, excitement, and so on. The problem is that we oftentimes end up in therapy because none of those things made us happy.

Unfortunately, happiness can’t be chased, contained, held, or given to you. Absolutely nothing can make you happy, although those same items listed above can contribute to your happiness (yes, even sex, money, and drugs can contribute to your happiness in certain circumstances).

Rather, happiness is a choice. It’s a State of Being within you. Below are Six Steps to Being Happy:

The first step is to Be Present. So often, we get stuck in a loop of what happened in the past or choices we need to make in the future, rather than being actively present to what is happening right now; not just simply being aware of the present but actually immersing ourselves in the present and feeling it, enjoying it, and being grateful for it. We can change the energy of events in the past by thinking of them in the present and changing how we feel about them now. The same goes for the future. Rather than stressing over choices we need to make, we can choose what we want to do now (rather than what we feel we should or have to do) and feel happy about that choice as if we made that choice in the future.

The second step is to not focus on the negative. There’s a reason why negative thoughts weigh us down – they literally do. Negative thoughts pull our energy frequency down. Focusing on the negative simply begets more of the same – more negative. Focusing on the negative also affects the relationships within ourselves and others in addition to our health, money, accomplishments, and overall success. We have the power to focus our attention elsewhere rather than the negative.

The third step is to not focus on what you personally cannot change and are not responsible for. We tend to take responsibility for other people’s actions and make them our own. It’s a part of victim mentality and a thought process that has been beaten into us over centuries as a form of control. Once you’re aware of this pattern, you can interrupt it and change it.

The fourth step is to be grateful and feel the energy of gratitude. While thinking grateful thoughts is a good practice, take it a step further and actually feel the energy of gratitude. When you’re enjoying your cup of morning caffeine or sweating to your morning workout, allow yourself to take a few moments and truly feel the energy of gratitude and notice how it feels in your body. Does it tingle? Can you feel it in your fingers and toes? Does it have a taste? A color? Really focus on the energy and how it feels.

The fifth step is to feel the energy of happiness. Just as you felt the energy of gratitude, feel the energy of happiness. Think of a time when you were truly happy and notice how it feels in your body.

The sixth step is to choose to be truly happy, not fake happy. Remember that happiness is a choice and a State of Being. Fake happiness is when you gloss over the reasons why you’re not happy and act happy in a bid to ignore what is really going on in your life. This doesn’t mean to focus on the negative but instead to go within and ask yourself why you’re upset, mad, sad, or depressed, which leads us to the bonus step, number 7.

The bonus step is to Love Yourself. This one is a doozie. While the step is simple, it’s not always easy, but you do have the power to choose to love yourself. This step requires really going within and changing your thoughts from negative self-talk to positive self-talk. We believe what we say and hear on a repetitive basis, so repeatedly saying “I love me” gets the ball rolling.

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Tonya Rutter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Tonya is an Empowerment and Confidence Coach, powerful intuitive, and Energy Master. She discovered her skills when dead people started coming to her, and she was suddenly able to feel how the living died in past lives, opening her to new experiences with helping others overcome trauma. Now, Tonya empowers creatives, coaches, entrepreneurs, and intuitives into Becoming Limitless by showing them how to tap into the magic they have within themselves for abundance in their businesses, careers, wealth, relationships, and health. She also works with corporations by offering boutique business success strategies to obtain desired results, and coaches employees on how to adjust during trying times for positive mental health, so they don't feel like they're going completely crazy, while assisting in creating a support system for optimal work performance and high personal quality of life, resulting in higher employee morale, satisfaction, retention, and lower company insurance expenses. When she's not focusing on clients' energetic needs, you can find this published author writing the sequel to her urban fantasy, Blood Promise; curling up with a good book and a glass of wine; or sitting outside under a moonlit night.



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