Showing Up for Your Children with Safety, Support, and Security
- Brainz Magazine
- May 2
- 3 min read
Sarah Fernandez, a distinguished Psychologist and Certified Youth Mental Health Specialist, is known for her work in empowering young minds. She is the founder of S. Fernandez Center for Wellness and the author of the journal books, Mindful Moments (2023) for children and Understanding Me (2025) for adolescents.
Parenting in today’s world looks very different from what many of us experienced growing up. How children communicate, socialise, and express themselves continues to evolve, shaped by rapid technological changes, cultural shifts, and new societal expectations. As your child moves from childhood into the teenage years, you’ll notice changes in how they think, act, and relate to others. These shifts can be confusing, but they are part of a natural and necessary process of growing up.
You may see them experimenting with their appearance, trying new interests, or expanding their circle of friends. They might also challenge rules, explore unfamiliar ideas, or seek more independence. As a parent, it’s important to remember that their experiences and needs may look very different from yours at that age and that’s perfectly okay. They’re growing up in a world that’s not the same as the one you knew, and they’re trying to find their place in it.
So how can you support them through this journey? The most powerful thing you can do is to show up consistently, intentionally, and with empathy.
Show up by keeping them safe
As teens seek freedom and adventure, they may be tempted to take risks. It’s natural, but where your guidance matters most. Have honest conversations about safety, decision-making, and consequences. Set clear boundaries but also create room for dialogue. Offering safe choices and being aware of where they are and who they’re with shows them that your concern comes from love, not control.
Show up by understanding what’s behind the behaviour
Teen behaviour isn’t always easy to interpret. What may come across as defiance, withdrawal, or moodiness is often a reflection of deeper emotions such as stress, fear, insecurity, or confusion. Before reacting, pause and ask yourself, “What might my child be going through right now?” Seeking to understand their internal world helps you respond with compassion instead of frustration. It tells them, “I care enough to look beyond what I see.”
Show up to soothe and support
Once your child begins to open up, avoid the urge to jump in with quick fixes or criticism. Often, what they need most is for you to listen without judgment. Whether they’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or hurt, your calm, steady presence can be deeply reassuring. Being the person they can confide in without fear of being shut down or dismissed builds trust and strengthens your relationship in the long run.
Show up to create a sense of security
Your consistent presence, whether it's attending their events, helping with school projects, or just being available to talk, gives your child a sense of stability. It tells them, “I’m here, and I’ve got your back.” In a time of so much personal and social change, knowing that a parent is always there provides a much-needed anchor. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.
Teenagers may not always say it, but your support and involvement mean everything. Showing up doesn’t require grand gestures. It means being attentive, available, and emotionally tuned in. In a fast-paced world filled with pressures and expectations, your steady presence offers your child the safety and confidence to grow. One of the most powerful ways to love your child is to keep showing up, no matter what.
Related article: 10 tips for fostering a close relationship with your teenager
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Read more from Sarah Fernandez
Sarah Fernandez, Psychologist | Youth Mental Health Specialist | Advocate for Children and Adolescents
Sarah Fernandez, Psychologist, discovered her passion for youth mental health after witnessing her younger sister struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. Seeing her sister suffer in silence ignited Sarah’s desire to understand what was happening beneath the surface. She dedicated her studies to exploring mental health and brain development in children and adolescents. Today, she is committed to giving a voice to young people like her sister, ensuring they are seen, heard, and supported.
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