Life After the Narcissist – A Day-to-Day Guide to Healing Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 28
- 4 min read
Written by Nazoorah Nusrat, Holistic Life Coach
Nazoorah Nusrat is a holistic life coach, mind-body practitioner, and founder of Clarity Coaching Energy. Through NLP, somatic healing practices, and heart-led alchemy, she helps people reconnect to their souls, release limiting beliefs, and heal from burnout, trauma, and toxic relationships.
We don’t talk enough about what happens after you finally see the truth. After the fog lifts, after the cognitive dissonance cracks, or after you whisper to yourself, “I think I’ve been in a narcissistic relationship.” In this article, holistic life coach Nazoorah Nusrat explores the psychology and spirituality of life after narcissistic relationships and how healing your mind, body, and spirit becomes the most radical act of self-love.
Recognising the aftershock
When the relationship ends, the body doesn’t know it’s over. You might find yourself hyper-alert, waiting for the next emotional hit. You replay conversations, crave closure, or feel empty without the chaos. This is your nervous system trying to recalibrate after months or years of unpredictable emotional highs and lows, what trauma specialists like Bessel van der Kolk describe as the body’s memory of fear and attachment. Your body has lived in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn for so long that peace feels foreign. That’s not weakness, it’s conditioning. Awareness of this is the first act of power.
The healing checklist: Signs you’re still in recovery
Healing isn’t linear, but you can notice where you are by paying attention to your body, thoughts, and relationships.
You question your intuition, even when it whispers clearly.
You doubt your perception, replaying simple interactions to check if you “read them wrong.”
You feel disconnected from your body or experience physical tension (especially in your chest, shoulders, and gut).
You’re drawn to fix people or over-explain yourself to avoid conflict.
You feel numb or suspicious when kindness appears.
You find yourself missing the intensity of the narcissist, confusing chaos with chemistry.
These are not signs of failure, they’re signals that your nervous system is still recalibrating from trauma bonding.
Rebuilding self-trust
Trusting yourself again takes time, but it begins with micro-acts of self-honouring. Start small, noticing when you’re tired and resting without guilt, eating when you’re hungry instead of pushing through, and choosing silence instead of over-explaining. Each act rewires your brain’s sense of internal safety. According to positive psychology research, consistent self-care behaviours build self-efficacy, the belief that you can meet your own needs.
Journaling prompt: “What would my future self choose if she already felt safe?”
Healing through the body
Your body carries the imprint of every unspoken fear. That’s why healing must involve somatic work, not just mindset shifts.
Try:
Grounding breathwork. Inhale for four counts, exhale for six.
Tapping or EFT to release stored anxiety.
Gentle movement, such as walking, stretching, or dancing, to remind your body that it’s safe to move again.
As Dr. Peter Levine notes, trauma completes its cycle when the body is allowed to feel and release energy safely. Healing happens in the present moment, not in revisiting the story.
Recalibrating relationships
After narcissistic abuse, you may feel disconnected from healthy love. You might crave solitude or fear repeating old patterns. This is natural. Begin by noticing your “trust map,” how you respond to new people. Who feels safe, and who triggers the old alert system? Give yourself permission to move slowly. Healthy love doesn’t rush. Surround yourself with people whose presence regulates your nervous system, friends who make you exhale, not perform. As neuroscience shows through mirror neuron studies, safety is contagious.
Reclaiming your spirit
Eventually, you’ll feel a subtle shift, a quiet inner peace replacing hyper-vigilance. This is your spirit re-entering your body. You’ll laugh more. You’ll dream again. You’ll realise that what you mistook for love was a lesson in discernment. The journey back to yourself isn’t about erasing the past, it’s about remembering your wholeness. Your future self isn’t waiting somewhere out there, she’s already within you, grounded, clear, and free.
Final reflection
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not about becoming who you were before, it’s about becoming who you were always meant to be. As you rebuild your mind, body, and spirit, remember, you don’t heal to prove you’re strong. You heal because peace is your birthright.
Reach out and contact me if you need support and a path towards feeling confident, joyful, and alive again.
Read more from Nazoorah Nusrat
Nazoorah Nusrat, Holistic Life Coach
Nazoorah Nusrat is the founder of Clarity Coaching Energy. With over 20 years of experience in health and wellness, she supports people moving through grief, burnout, or identity shifts to reclaim their clarity, confidence, and inner calm. As a reflexologist as well, Nazoorah blends science, spirituality, and soul to help her clients reconnect to their truth. Having moved through and healed from narcissistic relationships and dynamics, Nazoorah is passionate about emotional alchemy, sacred leadership, and creating spaces where people feel seen, heard, and empowered.
References:
Durvasula, R. (2017). Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist.
Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving.
van der Kolk, B. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
Levine, P. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness.
Positive Psychology Journal (2018). 'Self-Compassion and Post-Traumatic Growth.'
