Shadow Work - How To Heal From Your Parents' Mistakes
- Aug 6, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Luna Dawn, Guest Writer Brainz Magazine
If you grew up in a dysfunctional family like me, then you know how difficult it is to live with your parents’ mistakes. They haunt you in your adult life because they take the form of various physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual issues.
On top of that, you might be feeling stuck in a cycle of draining emotions that are directly related to your parents. You may hate them for everything that they put you through. You may be angry because they never paid attention to you. Not to mention that you may blame them for the situation that you are in right now in your life.
It is so easy to go back to your childhood and name each one of their mistakes that have been affecting your adulthood. I have been there and it is definitely not a great place to be. It feels so gratifying to point out all their wrongs.
But what happens when you are done with the blame game? You feel empty, powerless, but most importantly, you are acting like a child who throws a tantrum because nothing goes your way. Why? Because you never grew up mentally and emotionally.
On a personal level, when I had that realization, it crushed my ego. I felt defeated. “But I am a woman!”, I tried to convince myself while that little girl inside me was screaming for help. I was in denial for a long time till I decided to finally face the truth.
“So how do I mature and become an adult?”, you might ask at this point. The answer lies within that wounded inner child of yours. It is time to take care of that part of you by reparenting yourself. All this time, the trauma from your inner child has been broadcasting to everyone around you as well as every aspect of your daily life.
Here is a great exercise to help you start working with reparenting yourself to heal from your parents’ mistakes.
1. First, ask yourself “If I could give a piece of advice to my parents, what would it be?”.
2. Grab your journal (a physical one or online) and start writing down a list of advice that you would love to give to them. Allow it to flow and do not try to give it second thoughts. You want to pour out all your emotions and thoughts on a piece of paper.
3. Use a pen, pencil, or even colored pencils instead of using a digital journal. This is because you want to get back to that childhood mindset where you had no digital devices to draw or write.
4. When you are done with the list, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Allow your emotions and thoughts to flow. Hold space for yourself and honor that process. This is going to feel intense as you process trauma from your childhood.
5. When you feel relaxed and collected open your eyes, look back at the paper.
6. Ask yourself “What is the first thing I want to start working with?”. Pick the one that speaks to you the most at the moment. Transfer that piece of advice to a different paper.
7. In this new paper, write one practical practice that you would love to start working on the next day. This is your action plan for the upcoming months. Scientists have confirmed that it takes up to three months to integrate a new habit into your life. So you need to dedicate that time to each practice to ensure that it becomes part of your daily life.
8. Set a time to ensure that you will follow that practice on a daily basis. You can write it in your notebook or your phone as a reminder. This is the part where you hold yourself accountable that you will follow the practice for the upcoming months so as to be integrated properly into your life.
9. Use this affirmation “My inner child, I promise that I will keep you safe, I will love you and take care of you.” This will reassure your inner child that you will take care of them by creating a safe haven for the upcoming months.
But what happens when you follow that practice but you see no results? What if you have tried everything to heal from your parents’ mistakes but the childhood trauma is unprocessed and persisting?
This occurs because you carry childhood trauma from all your previous lifetimes. That childhood trauma repeats from one life to the next because the core of its cause has not been identified, addressed, and healed. This is called karmic debt.
Reparenting yourself and nurturing your inner child now requires you to connect to your soul’s journey rather than focusing only on this lifetime. This means that you have gone through very similar situations in your past lives and that trauma is adding up collectively.
The process of resolving the karmic patterns that have caused the childhood trauma, behaviors, learned patterns, and limiting beliefs from all your lifetimes is called karmic resolution. Working closely with your past lives will provide you with enough information that can be incorporated into the exercise above.
Knowing that you have numerous tools to work with shifts your perspective as you understand that you have the power in your own hands to change your life. Your parents’ mistakes do not have to define you nor shape your present and future. It is now your responsibility to take care of your inner child and become your own parent. Give yourself everything that you wished your parents did during your childhood.
You deserve to live a fulfilling life and achieve your highest potential by embracing everything that you are. No more guilt. No more anger. No more pain. No more frustration. Set yourself free from everything that is holding you back. What are you waiting for? Life is ahead of you full of opportunities to become all that you have ever dreamed of!
Luna Dawn, Guest Writer Brainz Magazine
Luna Dawn is a Karmic Resolution Facilitator and a Shamanic Shadow Worker and she will assist you to resolve the core of your karmic debt with the wisdom of Tarot Cards. By identifying which pattern from your past lives is constantly repeating from one lifetime to the next, she will guide you on how to properly work with that pattern in order to overcome it.
Being able to work with tough emotional blockages and karmic debt on a personal level, she has successfully witnessed her life change with the aid of Tarot Cards, Past Life Regression, and Shamanic Shadow Work. Her aspiration is to help you overcome your karmic debt, achieve your highest potential, and fulfill your soul's purpose by fully utilizing your soul's gifts.
