Seven Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
- Jun 7
- 6 min read
Veronika Bubenickova is the founder of Lotus Journey, a breast cancer survivor, author, Lifestyle Oncology Practitioner and Transformational Breast Cancer Coach. Following her own diagnosis at 39, she now helps women navigate breast cancer and recovery by supporting the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of healing.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 39, I remember feeling as though the ground beneath my feet had disappeared. One moment I was living what appeared to be a successful life. I had a good career, a beautiful home, plans for the future and a vision for where my life was heading. The next, I found myself sitting in hospital waiting rooms, attending scans, biopsies and consultations, hearing words I never imagined would apply to me.
Cancer. Like many women, I immediately wanted answers. I wanted certainty. I wanted somebody to tell me exactly what was going to happen and how everything would turn out. Instead, I entered what I now recognise as one of the most challenging periods of my entire journey, the space between suspicion and certainty.
Looking back today, having completed chemotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy and years of personal healing and transformation, there are many things I wish someone had told me during those first few weeks. Not because they would have changed the diagnosis, but because they would have changed how I experienced it. If you have recently been diagnosed, or if you are supporting someone who has, these are the seven lessons I wish I had known from the very beginning.
1. The waiting is often harder than the treatment
Most people assume the hardest part of cancer is chemotherapy, surgery or radiotherapy. For me, the hardest part was the waiting.
The period between discovering a lump and receiving my final diagnosis felt endless. Every appointment seemed to generate more questions than answers. Every phone call made my heart race. Every internet search opened the door to another frightening possibility.
Our minds are remarkably creative when faced with uncertainty. Left unchecked, they often fill the gaps with worst case scenarios.
What I wish someone had told me is that uncertainty itself creates enormous emotional suffering. At this stage, you do not need to solve your entire cancer journey. You only need to take the next step.
The next appointment. The next conversation. The next day. When I stopped trying to control the entire future and focused on the next step in front of me, everything became more manageable.
2. You have more power than you think
One of the biggest misconceptions about a cancer diagnosis is that everything is suddenly out of your hands. Yes, there are things you cannot control. You cannot control scan results, pathology reports or how your body responds to every treatment. However, there are also many things that remain entirely within your influence.
You can influence how you nourish your body. You can influence how you manage stress. You can influence the information you consume, the people you surround yourself with and the habits you practise every day.
Very early in my journey, I made a conscious decision that I would not simply wait for treatment to happen to me. I would actively participate in my healing.
That decision changed everything. I transformed my diet, introduced complementary approaches, prioritised movement, meditation and emotional healing, and became what I often call the project manager of my own health journey. The diagnosis may not have been my choice, but how I responded to it was.
3. Healing is bigger than treatment
My oncology team was exceptional. I will always be grateful for the skill, dedication and care of the medical professionals who supported me.
However, what surprised me was how little guidance existed around everything outside of treatment itself. Nobody sat me down and explained how to support my body through nutrition. Nobody talked in depth about stress, emotional trauma, purpose, relationships or mindset. Nobody explained how frightening fear of recurrence could become after treatment ends.
Medical teams are experts in treating disease. Their role is incredibly important. But healing often extends beyond the physical treatment plan.
For me, true healing involved addressing my physical health, my emotional wellbeing, my mental patterns and my spiritual connection. It involved asking difficult questions about how I had been living, what was no longer serving me and what needed to change moving forward. Cancer became much more than a medical journey. It became a life transformation.
4. Your mind is one of your greatest assets
One of the most powerful lessons I learned is that there is a significant difference between focusing on illness and focusing on healing.
This does not mean pretending everything is fine. It does not mean suppressing fear, sadness, anger or grief. I experienced all of those emotions, often intensely.
What it means is intentionally directing your attention towards what you want rather than constantly dwelling on what you fear.
I visualised myself healthy. I meditated daily. I practised gratitude. I consumed uplifting content and surrounded myself with people who believed in recovery, possibility and hope.
I became very protective of my mental environment. Everything around a cancer patient tends to focus on disease. Scan results. Blood tests. Symptoms. Statistics.
I decided that while my medical team focused on the illness, I would focus on healing. That shift gave me strength on some of my darkest days.
5. You do not have to be strong all the time
One of the greatest gifts cancer gave me was permission to stop pretending. Before my diagnosis, I was used to being independent, capable and resilient. I often felt responsible for carrying everything myself.
Cancer taught me something different. It taught me that true strength includes vulnerability. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel frightened. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to lean on family, friends, support groups, counsellors, coaches or anyone who genuinely wants to support you.
The people who love you do not expect perfection. They simply want to walk beside you. Allow them.
6. Life after treatment can be unexpectedly difficult
One of the biggest surprises of my entire journey came after treatment ended. Like many people, I imagined reaching the finish line and immediately feeling relieved, grateful and back to normal. Instead, I found myself facing a completely different challenge. The appointments became less frequent. The constant monitoring slowed down. People celebrated and assumed everything was back to normal. Yet emotionally, I was still processing everything that had happened.
Many survivors experience fear of recurrence, changes in confidence, shifts in identity, body image challenges and uncertainty about the future. Nobody had prepared me for that. What I wish someone had told me is that healing continues long after treatment ends. In many ways, survivorship is its own journey, requiring just as much compassion, patience and support.
7. This diagnosis could become the beginning of something you never expected
If someone had told me during those first terrifying weeks that breast cancer would eventually lead me to write a book, become a coach, support women around the world and discover a deeper sense of purpose than I had ever known before, I would not have believed them.
Yet that is exactly what happened. I would never have chosen this experience. No one would. But I have learned that some of life’s greatest transformations emerge from its most difficult moments.
Breast cancer stripped away many things that no longer served me. It forced me to slow down, reflect, heal old wounds and reconnect with what truly matters. Most importantly, it brought me back to myself.
If you are newly diagnosed, please know this. Your story is not over. This chapter may be frightening, uncertain and painful, but it does not define your future. There is hope. There is support. There is life beyond diagnosis. One day, perhaps sooner than you think, you may discover strengths within yourself that you never knew existed.
To access my free Breast Cancer Support and Healing Series, please visit this website.
Read more from Veronika Bubenickova
Veronika Bubenickova, Transformational Breast Cancer Coach and Therapist
Veronika Bubenickova is a breast cancer survivor, author, speaker, Lifestyle Oncology Practitioner and Transformational Breast Cancer Coach. Following her own diagnosis in 2023, she embarked on a profound healing journey that transformed every aspect of her life. Today, she helps women navigate breast cancer and recovery by addressing the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of healing. She is the founder of Lotus Journey and author of Diary of a Soul Reborn, with a mission to help women thrive beyond breast cancer, not just survive it.
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