Seven Places Your Dreams Go To Die
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 5, 2021
- 8 min read
Written by: Joel Haasenritter, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We’ve all been there at one point or another in our lives… It’s that moment when we drop our heads and put our dreams on the shelf, allowing the words that resound in our thoughts to take over, saying it can’t be done; we’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. The days, months, and years go by, and it seems that doing the very thing that made us feel alive inside, the thing we woke up every morning excited about doing or becoming, will never be our reality. That mindset becomes our belief, and that belief shapes our future.
These are the seven “Oola Blockers” that will absolutely kill your dreams:
Oola Blocker 1: Fear
Did you know that we are only born with two innate fears? They are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Everything else is learned through our experiences and our environment. And while fear can be healthy when it comes to real danger, when fear is a limiting belief, it can completely stop us in our tracks and prevent us from moving forward.
We are only born with two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.
When you can identify exactly where your fear is grounded, you can take small, intentional steps toward overcoming it. Identify it, write it down, and take a step back for perspective. Have others accomplished what you had hoped to accomplish? Are there people who have found ways to move past this fear? Once you have a clear outlook on reality, take 30 seconds of courage to do one thing toward overcoming that fear. Baby steps are still steps, and your future self will thank you for pushing through!
Oola Blocker 2: Guilt
We have all said and done things we wish we could take back. All of us…! Guilt is especially likely to follow when people around us get hurt because of our actions. For some, guilt can become part of our story and the identity with which we present ourselves to others.
But guilt can also come from things that are not our fault, such as abuse and trauma, your parents’ divorce as a child, and emotional abuse from a loved one. Please take this in - none of those things are your fault. You are only responsible for your actions, not the actions of others! While you may have heard those words before, the emotional impact can last a lifetime if not dealt with, and there is no shame in seeking the help of a mental health professional.
Your “self-talk” can make the difference between being able to let things go or having the guilt of your past stick around. When you choose carefully the words you tell yourself, your perspective shifts and so does your outcome.
Oola Blocker 3: Anger
It is no secret life can be crazy and hectic. We’ve all had those moments of frustration. However, to erupt in persistent and violent anger, that my friend, is damaging. Frustration affects you, but anger affects those around you with far greater cost to your relationships, to your future, and even to your health.
As little as five minutes of anger can impair your immune system for up to six hours! The impact anger takes on your relationships, your family, and your friends have far-reaching consequences. Rather than a refuge of safety, you become someone to avoid and to fear.
As little as five minutes of anger can impair your immune system for up to six hours!
For your sanity, and the safety of those you love, identify the problematic trigger. Then make a plan to process in advance or remove the trigger from your life altogether. For example, if sitting in traffic on your way to work causes anger to stir, plan on leaving early to avoid the traffic or find another route. If, when working from home, the stress of having a house filled with energetic kids coming home from school keeps you from completing your to-do list, plan to get the most important things done before they arrive. Then make a date with yourself for fifteen minutes of quiet, grounding time before the commotion hits.
Oola Blocker 4: Self-Sabotage
Our subconscious mind is a powerful thing. It can bury us in the burden of negative self-talk, or propel us to greatness! Negative self-talk says you don’t deserve this, you can’t do this, and you shouldn’t even try! This mindset is shaped by past failures and experiences and also what we have been told through the years. Perhaps a parent or teacher told you that you would never amount to anything. Perhaps you were singled out in front of your colleagues at work.
Your negative self-talk is lying to you!
The truth is that your negative self-talk is lying to you. You… are… worthy! You were designed for greatness and a purpose, on this planet, and at this very time! You are worthy of being loved which starts with how you are loving you. Here is how to recognize the lies: If the words you are speaking over yourself are not words you would ever say to a loved one, your Mom or Dad, your spouse or best friend, then they have no place in your life either.
If you have favorite quotes or affirmations, write them down and place them strategically around your house, car, and office so you see them every day. Be intentional in how you start and end your day, saying one or more of these out loud. Tell yourself, “Where I am is just where I am, it’s not who I am.” When you choose to speak those words over your life, your self-talk will begin to repeat it, and you will begin to live it!
Oola Blocker 5: Laziness
It is no secret that we all have a tendency to do the things we love and set aside the things we don’t care for. Our focus is determined by what we value most, and when there is something we don’t prioritize, it is easy for it to get left behind. Perhaps we place a high value on our career and finances, putting all our effort behind those two, but allow our health and family life to suffer. The reality is that we need to be balancing all the key areas of life: Fitness, Finance, Family, Field (career), Faith, Friends, and Fun. If there are low-value tasks we just don’t like to do, we have to find a way to move past that.
For example, do the things you dread first. If you start the day doing the things you like the least, you will look forward to doing the items you value the most. This will help keep that procrastination tendency at bay.
“What the lazy want, the disciplined get.” — Dr. Troy Amdahl
Another solution is to delegate. No one is good at everything. And if a lack of competence is causing you to save it for another day, then decide which parts of your day or week you can outsource to someone else, or make a plan to improve your skills in that area.
Keep in mind, however, that some parts of your life cannot be delegated. No one can do your pushups for you or spend time with your family and friends. So make a quick list and see what you can take off your plate, or make a plan to tackle those things first.
Oola Blocker 6: Envy
It is human nature to compare yourself with others, and unfortunately, we live in a society that pushes us to do so. It is natural to see that nice car someone owns (or perhaps one that isn’t always in the shop), or a coworker who just got that big promotion, and you wish that had been you instead. While jealousy is a natural emotion, you must not live in that place.
Jealousy becomes harmful when you go through life feeling sorry for yourself because someone else has more than you. But the real danger is when jealousy turns into envy, and not only do you want what others have, you don't want them to have it! Living in that place is destructive to your future and can potentially hurt others around you.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt.
Your life is unique and designed to be that way! If you step back and look, you will find areas in which you are abundant. Instead of falling into the comparison trap, decide what is authentically right for you. Then pursue that purpose with passion! As you do, what others have or do won’t matter to you anymore.
Oola Blocker 7: Focus
In today’s connected world, there are an unlimited number of ways to lose focus on the things that matter most. The latest Netflix binge, constantly scrolling on social media, spending hours gaming; all of these and more distract you from taking that intentional step toward the life you want.
Then there are those last-minute items that pop up like a friend’s birthday party you forgot to get a present for, or a school function that never made it onto the calendar. The key is to become a laser beam, not a flashlight. Give yourself the freedom to say “no” to the extra hustle and bustle if it doesn’t align with your purpose or your vision. The sky won’t fall, and you will free up time to focus on the things that matter most.
“A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.” — Anonymous
What’s worse than a lack of focus is misdirected focus. This is where addictions live, such as gaming, social media, shopping, alcohol, drugs (including prescription medication), gambling, and pornography. Very few have not been affected by addiction in some way, whether in our own life or the life of a loved one. Without a doubt, energy spent here will absolutely kill your goals, dreams, and purpose. If addiction is holding you back from the life you want, there is help! Call it out and move forward. It may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but the truth is you are stronger than you think, and you are worth fighting for!
Curious about what it means to look at your life “through the lens of Oola”? Download my free guide to Living Your Best Life or visit www.wayfindersforlife.com to learn more!
Joel Haasenritter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Joel Haasenritter is a transformation specialist who helps people in their 30's and 40's, struggling in times of transition, to find balance, growth, and purpose, so they can absolutely crush the next chapter of their lives! After nearly 20 years of owning a highly sought after company serving high-profile clients across the southeast, starting and growing multiple businesses, and coaching a development team to bring their invention to market, Joel turned his life's passion toward helping others live at their highest potential. In addition to his one-on-one coaching services, he is a founding Ambassador with Oola Global, which recently launched a revolutionary personal development digital platform in over 40 countries with the sole mission of impacting one billion lives in the next seven years. His interests include exploring the hiking trails of Arizona, studying the art of Gracie Jiujitsu, and spending time with his family.
